When fate tears us apart
It was a clear night and Kaname sat in the garden on the tree bench. He gazed up in the sky looking at all the stars that filled it. It was a calm night and the night breeze touched his skin in a soft movement. 'Today is the day' Kaname thought. 'Who could believe that the time would pass so fast for someone so old? I had no idea that you could experience living days like this and I have had the happiest time in my life.'
The last year, a special someone had taken part in his life and they had done remarkable things together. The trip to England, X chocolates day had been so romantic and full of joy and they had bought their own house last fall just after they had found each other, he couldn´t be happier. Kaname felt that his life had a meaning and if he were to die happy it would be right now. Whenever he felt sad or down he where right beside him ready to comfort him no matter what and it filled Kaname's heart with warmth. He was his; only his and no one have the right to take him away. Zero was his life now and no one is going to hurt him, not anymore.
'But what is taking him so long? We had decided that we were supposed to meet right here. He can´t have forgotten about it? Or? I´m sure he remembers, he´s just a little late that's all.' The night became darker and darker. The cold winds dragged past Kaname as he sat and waited at the bench. He had sat there for two hours, waiting for Zero. He kept telling himself that something had interrupt Zero at his work and that he will come. 'He promised, he promised' Kaname's heart kept telling him.
Thirty minutes pasted and still no sight of Zero. Kaname rose from the bench, gazing out over the garden, clenching his fist. 'He didn´t show up. He promised but he didn´t come.' He turned around, walked back to the empty black house. 'He hadn´t even the guts to call me, if he had told me that he was going to be late I could have accepted that. It wouldn´t be as heart ripping like this.' Kaname opened the front door at the veranda, switched on the light. Somewhere in his heart he hoped that Zero would be sitting in the kitchen to surprise him but of course the kitchen was empty. He closed the door behind him and he left his shoes at the doormat. It was quite unusual to do so but he and Zero had decided that no shoes were allowed inside the house. It was just because Zero hated to clean and he refused to have cleaners that got paid with Kaname's money. Zero couldn´t afford so much and he wanted that they shared their cost regarding the house.
Kaname felt cold, not just on the outside but on the inside too. He grabbed a blanket that hanged on a chair. Kaname enfolded himself with the blanket; he stared at the set dining table for two and on the two candles that had burned out long time ago. Kaname had cooked lots of food during the day just to surprise Zero. He wanted it to be perfect so he had also re-cooked some dishes that wasn´t to his satisfaction.
Kaname sighed as he walked past the perfectly set table. As Kaname reached the stairs to the upper floor, he took a quick glare at the front door. Maybe Zero would be coming right through it and tell him that he was sorry for not showing up? But the door didn´t open and Zero didn´t come. Kaname took each and every step slowly. His heart felt as if it was torn into pieces.
When Kaname reached the hallway, he didn´t bother to put on the light. He headed to the only room that was lighted in a soft warm golden light. He enfolded the blanket closer to his body as he stood in the opening to the room. The room Kaname stood in was the master bedroom, his and Zeros. The room was lighted with probably a hundred candles in different shapes and colors and a trail of rose petals led up to the bed, which also was covered in it. Kaname felt how his eyes water at the sight of his attempt to be a romantic lover. He went in and blew out all the candles one by one. The upper floor got pitch black as he where done and Kaname walked down to the kitchen.
The expensive bottle of vine that Kaname had bought stood corked open on the dining table. Kaname took it as he walked past the table and he sat down at the counter´s sitting area. He filled his glass only to drink it all up in matter of a second. Kaname looked at the empty glass, then he sighed and filled it again. The vine had no particular taste, it was meant to drink with somebody and Kaname was sure it had tasted better if he had drunk it with Zero. He rested his head on the counter, whishing that Zero would come home.
'Shit, this is going to take forever! Lucky for me so are Kaname supposed to be at his company so he would not mind if I will be a little late…' Zero thought as he saw the giant pile of paperwork on his desk. He rubbed his head in an 'I don´t care' protest. The paperwork didn´t take that long as Zero had thought. He piled them together in their respective place. He rose from the chair and he walked to the chief's office. Zero stopped outside the door to correct his suite that Kaname had bought for him. "A business man should always have one expensive suit in his wardrobe" Kaname had told him as they had gone to the store.
Zero knocked at the office door.
"Come in" A voice said.
Zero entered the room and closed the door behind him.
"Erhm, I´ve finished my paperwork, chief" Zero begun.
The chief looked up on Zero and then on his desk, hinting that Zero was supposed to pile them there. Zero dropped all the finished paper work at the desk and he turned around to exit the room.
"Will you join us for some dinner after work?" The chief asked.
"To talk a little and just to hang out with the others" He continued.
"Erhm, I don´t know, I really should go home; I have someone waiting for me…" Zero excused himself.
The chief looked suspicious at Zero and then he smiled.
"But you never go to our social gatherings! It will be fun! Come on!"
Zero thought about Kaname and of how often he has been late coming home from work.
"Okay, I´ll join you but your treat!" Zero joked.
As Zero drove up on the driveway, he saw how dark the house was and that Kaname´s car still was parked outside the garage. 'That's strange, wasn´t he suppose to be at his company today? Is he ill?' Zero thought at the sight. He parked his car next to Kaname´s more expensive luxury one. He stepped out from the car and closed the door. His steps where uneven and he couldn´t walk straight but it did his best to look sober.
Zero opened the front door, dumping his shoes and briefcase on the floor. The whole house was dark and Zero turned the light on in the hallway.
"Kaname?" Zero called out.
No respond, not even a single movement. Zero walked in to the kitchen, he spotted the set table with all the fancy homemade food. 'Kaname, why? You could have told me, that we were supposed to eat dinner' He thought as e gazed over the table. His gaze got stuck at a person lying leaned on the counter. Snoring sounds came from that person. Zero got closer and he saw that it was Kaname sleeping. Zero touched Kaname´s arm trying to wake him up.
"Kaname, it´s time to wake up and go to bed in a proper place. You will get a stiff neck if you sleep here." Zero whispered to Kaname.
Two sleepy brown eyes opened and stared at Zero. Kaname sat up properly in the chair rubbing his eyes and then he glared at Zero with hate in his brown eyes.
"Where have you been, Zero?" Kaname said with anger and disappointment in his voice.
Zero´s eyes couldn´t have been bigger, he really didn´t get why Kaname was so angry at him for no reason. It irritated Zero, he came home and Kaname was angry at him for no reason.
"I have been at my work as always, what do you think I have?"
Kaname rose from the chair, he couldn´t bear to see Zeros lame excuses of why he had forgot of their important day and why he had broke his heart.
"I can´t look at you right now Zero, I´m too irritated for this and I don´t believe that you have stayed at work until now. Don´t lie! I know you have been away, you wreak alcohol for God's sake!" Kaname started to walk away from Zero heading the stairs to go to bed.
Zero grabbed Kaname´s arm to stop him, Kaname turned around and snatched back his arm.
"Yeah, I went out! With MY friends from work! What´s wrong with that? We had a good time together and I was late. Happy now? Geesh, Kaname you are so jealous sometimes."
Kaname stared at Zero with hurt and anger. His eyes watered up in disappointment, Zero could be such an as sometimes.
"Did you drive home?" He asked.
"What do you think I did? Of course I took my car home, I can´t afford to call a cab whenever I feel like it!" Zero yelled.
"ARE YOU OUT FROM YOUR MIND? What if you had driven yourself to death on your way home? What if you had died….?" Kaname yelled back at Zero but his voice got weaker at the last sentence.
Kaname felt drained, hurt, unloved and hated. What had he have done to deserve all this crap from Zero? All he wanted was to celebrate their anniversary.
"As you cared? What about your fancy dinner that you of all people could have told me about? You can´t be mad at me if you not even have told me that we were going to eat together!"
Kaname just stared at Zero with wide eyes.
"You don´t remember, don´t you? You promised me that we were going to meet at the bench outside in the garden! I waited for you for hours but you never came"
Zero looked just as confused as he never had heard about their agreement before. Kaname´s watery eyes flooded over and the tears streamed down on his checks.
"You don´t remember now either, don´t you?" Kaname whispered.
His heart was most certainly going to break in two now. 'Please Zero; say that you at least remember what happened a year ago…'
"I´m sorry Kaname but I really don´t get what you are talking about."
Kaname closed his eyes and turned around, went to the stairs.
"Kaname, wait!" Zero called.
Kaname stopped in the stairs, not turning around.
"I HATE you! Pack your things 'cause you are leaving tonight! I can´t stand too see your face anymore." He screamed. Crying, Kaname went up to the upper floor.
Zero couldn´t do anything else than to watch as Kaname walked up the stairs. Kaname´s words echoed in his head;"I hate you!.. I hate you!. I hate you!" Zero punched his right hand in to the wall, leaving a hole. It hurt but not as much as Kanames words did in his head. He ran around to collect the most important stuff, making as much noise as possible just to piss Kaname off. It didn´t took long to find his belongings and he stopped by the stairs to listen if he could hear Kaname. He heard a faint sound of someone weeping in one of the rooms. Zero, sighed.
"I hope you are happy now, Kuran?" He shouted.
Then he ran to the door, banging it closed. Meanwhile Kaname couldn´t stop his tears of disappointment. The fact that Zero had called him by his last name hadn´t made it better. He hadn´t been called that by him for a long time, it made Kaname feel that he was even further away in his relationship with Zero.
Outside, Zero threw his bag into the passenger seat and then he drew away from their house. He had nowhere to go and no idea why Kaname was so upset. One special day, one year ago… The time sure had flown away all those days with Kaname by his side. A single tear ran down his face, he whipped it away and trying to remain controlled. Zero picked up his phone and dialed his brother hoping to get his advice.
"Hello, Ichiru speaking."
"It´s Zero," he began
"Oh, and what do you want? You haven´t called me for a while y´know.."
"I know and I truly sorry but I have had a busy time these weeks, I will make up for it I promise! Hahah,…"
"Are, you sick or something? You sound strange."
"I-I and Kaname had a fight and I wonder if you in some possibility know what happened a year ago?"
"Isn´t that something you should know? And you can´t expect me to know everything about your love life?"
"No, I know. I just wondered if you knew 'cause I don´t…"
"Don´t say that you forgot and he remembered? Just because of this he threw you out and you still don´t know why? Great, brother! I don´t want to take Kamane's side but you are really a piece of shit. I know how much he means to you but at least you could have remembered? You have to solve this mess on your own and I will not help you."
"But,.."
"NO, Zero. It´s your fault and you have to fix it yourself. It´s kind of late and I have to get up for my morning job tomorrow…"
"Thank you for your 'big' help, brother.."
Zero hang up not waiting for a response on the other side. Not even his own brother was on his side, everyone was always on Kanames side. Zero focused on the road and then he spotted a sign saying; Bar three kilometers. That will do, he thought. Turning to the left he followed the sign and the road leading into town. 24 hours service, the sign said, as he stopped outside the bar.
"Good, I can stay here and I don´t have to get a hotel for tonight" he mumbled for himself.
Zero walked into the bar. The environment was calm and quiet. There are one long bar and a couple of small tables with four seats in the rest of the room. The place is half empty and no one sits in front of the bar. He walks to the counter and sits down.
"What would you like" The bartender asks.
"A beer." Zero answers.
He sits with his head down and his long silver bangs cover his face. His beer it's put in front of him. Without looking up, Zero grabs the beer to bring it to his lips. The cold beer is almost gone when he puts it back again. Zero looks at one of the bubbles that floats up to the surface. He sighs and takes another sip from his glass. His head is filled with words from his and Kanames fight.
'I can´t look at you right now'….
'Don´t lie!'…..
'You don´t remember?'…..
'I HATE you!'….
'I can´t stand too see your face anymore'…
Zero drags his hand through his hair and pushes the now empty glass against the bartender.
"Give me something strong"
"Right up. Did you have a tuff day today?" He asks politely.
"You could say so. I have had a fight with my partner" Zero mumbles as an answer. The bartender says no more and puts down a drink where the beer stood.
Back at the house Kaname lies in the bed, not able to sleep. He had crawled down in the middle of the king-size bed with the sheet tightly around him. The house were silent, scarcely silent. All the joy and the excitement had disappeared exactly when Zero stepped through the front door. It was as if a big bomb had exploded, everything was destroyed.
'You are so jealous sometimes'….,
Zero, I-
'As you cared?'….
..only wanted-
'I hope you are happy now, Kuran?'….
…to love you.
Kaname´s tears just keep on falling and he covers his head with the sheet, to be in complete darkness, trying to forget.
After a couple of hours a man enter the bar and sits down next to him. Zero stirs around the lonely ice cubes in his empty second drink, the pain and anger started to disappear but he could still feel it. He needed another glass. Zero ogle a little to his right to see who had taken the seat beside him. It was a slender young man in the same age as Zero, he had long golden hair that´s tied in a lose knot but wisp of hair hang down in front of his face. Zero turned back his head looking down deeply into his empty glass. A picture of Kaname turned up in the bottom of the glass. Zeros eyes widened. The happy usual Kaname transformed to a sad, hurt Kaname. A voice says; "It was your fault, for not remembering!" Zero lets go of the glass and sits up straight, his hair covered the hurt and confused facial expressions.
"Just shut up" He whispers.
"Something wrong?" The blond haired guy next to him wonders.
"Mmmh, not that you care though…"
"Well, I´m all ears…" A drink was put in front of Zero. He looked at the yellow haired guy.
"It´s on me." He explained.
"Uhm, Thanks. My name is Zero Kiryu by the way."
"My name is Kay. Nice to meet you." Zero tasted the drink and he didn´t know what to say.
"How come that you are here drinking by yourself?" Kay asked.
"To put it short, I was thrown out from my own house because I forgot what day it is today. Or well yesterday" Zero corrects himself after looking at the clock.
"They are hard to handle those women" Kay said.
"If it was just that easy" Zero added.
Kay looked at him and makes a 'aha, you´re gay' face.
"What?"
"Nothing" He answered. It gets quiet and Zero emptied his glass. He reaches after his wallet and paied the bill.
"Where are you going?" Kay asked.
"I don´t know. Somewhere, I suppose…" Zero got down from the barstool and due to his drunken state he fell right in Kay's arms.
"You are too drunk."
"As if I care!" An embarrassed Zero spoke.
"You can come to my place, if you want to. I got beer there." Zero thought about it for a few seconds then he straightened himself up.
"Why not, I don´t have anywhere else to go anyways."
With a little support both of them left the bar and entered a cab. Kay's apartment isn´t faraway and they arrived ten minutes later that night. As they walked in Zero took notice of how small the apartment are for someone so rich looking. The living room are simple and boring.
"You can sit down on the sofa while I go and get us some beer" Kay says.
Zero sat down on the sofa and Kay walked away to the kitchen. Zeros felt how tired he was as he leaned his head on the armrest. The room started to disappear as his mind shut down and went black.
When Zero woke up he didn´t knew where he was or why e lay down in a complete foreign bed. He looked around in the small room and there was another man sitting in an armchair on the other side of the room. Zero pushed the pillow higher and sat himself up, dragging the cover with him. Afraid to wake the unfamiliar person in the unfamiliar room, he barely breathed. It wasn´t until he had sat up when he felt how much his head hurt. He put aside his silver bangs from his eyes to realize that his arms were bare. He put both his arms back on top of the cover. A feeling of panic started to crawl up on him, slowly Zero looked down on his bare chest and a new wave of panic came flushing over him. He didn´t have to uncover him to see if he had his pants on or not. He could feel the cool cover touching his naked legs. The man in the armchair stirs in his sleep and Zero turned his head at his direction. He looked at the unmistakably hot yellow haired man. Two big blue eyes look back at him and Zero turned back his head to stare into the wall in front of him.
"Good morning, have you been awake for a long time?" Kay asked.
"Uhmm…"Zero answered not looking at him.
The man rose from the armchair to collect all the clothes that are covering the floor. A shirt hited Zero in the head but he didn´t took it away, he just let it slide down into his lap.
"What´s the matter with you today?" Kay wondered.
"Who the hell are you?" Zero asked suddenly.
"You don´t remember?"
"No…"
"We met at the bar the previous night and you followed me home to my apartment…" Kay explained.
Zero looked at Kay then he looked down into the floor as he blushed.
"Uhm… we didn´t… you know…"
Kay understands immediately what Zero meant.
"NO,… GOD NO! Of course not! I didn´t touch you, I promise" Kay blushed back.
"But what about all my clothes spread around on the floor?"
"Well, you fell asleep while I fetched the beer in my fridge and I thought that it can´t be comfortable to sleep in a suit, so I took it off."
"Then it´s okay, I guess…" Zero picked up the fallen shirt and started to get dressed.
Kay put on his trousers and walks into the very small kitchen. Zero followed after he had put on his own clothes. He sat down on a kitchen chair and Kay started to make breakfast. A short while after the table was ready Kay sat down on the opposite side of the table. Zero started to eat the breakfast Kay had made and it tasted really good. Kay ogled at Zero and he felt that he needs to break the ice so he tried to ask Zero about his boyfriend.
"What are you going to do with your boyfriend?"
Zero stopped eating, holding his fork in the air as he sighed.
"I don´t know. I need to figure out what I have forgotten. Something that happened a year ago but I just can´t remember what."
Zero put the fork in his mouth and chewed his food while thinking about what to do. Kay tried to stay focused on the task but Zeros concerned face just made him feel sorry for his sake. He wanted to help but he didn´t know how to.
"Can it have been something you two have done together? Like a trip to somewhere?" Kay questioned.
"I don´t think so. We met around a year ago. It has probably something to do with it but I can´t recognize, so much happened that month." Kay looked at Zero and then at his knotted hand resting on the table.
"Then we will have to take the course of event, day by day!" Kay said in a positive manner.
Zero looked up at him with uncertain eyes.
"I will help you figure out, I promise." Kay ensured him.
Zero looked down into his breakfast. The situation between him and Kaname or wait… Zero didn´t even know what situation it was. Kaname just threw him out, they never had the chance to talk about it. All he knew is that it´s his fault according to Kaname.
Zero felt an ache in his chest, like an empty hole in his heart and the image of his beloved Kaname made it bigger. It was only the other day but it felt much longer.
"Kaname, I miss you." Zero sighed.
Without knowing it Zero played with his food as his thoughts invaded his brain.
"Zero…Zero…. ZERO!" Kay shouted.
Clink, Zeros fork hit the table.
"It´s everything okay?" Kay asked.
Zero stared at Kay, blinking his big lilac eyes in confusion. A worried, concerned face looked back at him.
"I..I…don´t know. I feel sick." Zero whispered.
Kay´s worried face changed and he gave a half faked smile to Zero. He could see that Zero where feeling quite bad.
"I understand if you feel bad about yourself and about the situation you have with your boyfriend. But you can´t blame yourself for everything. It´s not just your fault, so don´t think about it anymore!"
Zero actually looked paler than before and he had a funny pained look on his face.
"Honestly, I feel sick" Zero said and rose from his chair holding his right hand in front of his mouth.
He made a heaving sound, vomit filled his mouth but he forced it down again. He took hold on the chair that he had sat on with his other hand.
"The bathroom is to your left in the corridor.." Kay told him.
Zero hurried to the bathroom as he felt another wave coming. Just in time, he reached the bathroom. His sorrows that he had drenched the day before came up in a not so appreciated way. Zero fisted the cold porcelain to have some support between his attacks. The sour smell pricked his nose making him feel sicker. A warm hand landed on his back, rubbing back and forth in a soothing movement. It was Kay that had come to check up on him.
"I fixed the sofa so you can sit there and rest up for while."
Zero looked up at him with thankfulness in his eyes and he nodded.
Then a new wave came up hitting the toilet once again. Zero coughed hard making his throat sore but he felt a little better already. He reached after the handle to flush but Kay where faster. Taking a hold to the toilet Zero stood up to make it to the living/bedroom. He rose too fast and shooting pain throbbed in his temples. His headache reminded him that it´s still there to make his life miserable. He staggered out from the bathroom walking to the sofa in the living room. Kay walked after closely, observing Zero from behind. Zero took a seat in the sofa. Kay gave him a blanket and put the TV on. He took a quick look at Zero. 'He seems fine, just a bit exhausted.' Kay assured.
Zero looked at the TV, not getting what the program is about. He snuggled up in the blanket as his tiredness won over his body. He could smell Kay´s scent on it and it made him more relaxed. Kay´s scent reminded him of Kanames. 'Maybe they use the same soap or shampoo?' Zero thought. A wooden tray was placed down on the table in front of the sofa. A large bowl of hot soup and a glass of water stood on it.
"I thought you better eat something easy, your stomach maybe will calm down and you need to eat before eating any pills, ´cause you still have a headache if I´m not mistaking? Kay said.
"It feels as if my head are going to split in two. Thanks for the food." Zero responded.
He took the spoon and scooped up soup. He ate under silence and took it slow. It took a while but he managed to eat the whole bowl. Zero looked at Kay then at the painkillers. Kay nodded as Zero picked up the box and took two of them out. He reaches after the glass with water. The pills went into his mouth then he drank a big mouthful of water to bring them down. Kay took the glass and sat it back on to the tray. Then he brought it out to the kitchen. It didn´t took long until he returned. He took a seat next to Zero and sighed.
"So, we have to figure out the thinige you don´t remember…"
Zero stared blindly at the TV not responding to Kay.
"Hello, are you still there?" Kay wondered.
"Uhm, yeah…" Zero mumbled.
"I thought if I give you some examples or something then you can think hard to decide if that's the right one. Does it sound good?"
"I don´t know how I shall remember it anyways, it´s okay I guess. Zero continued to stare at the TV screen.
Kay watched the random picked show on the TV and thought about many different options.
"If I say the first date? Does it ring any bells?"
"No." Zero repelled in a matter of seconds.
"First time you two slept together?"
Silence, Zero didn´t answer, he stared at TV instead. Kay glared at Zeros direction and saw that the boy blushed like hell. Kay smirked inwardly.
"Apparantly not that one either" He commented.
Zero leaned back comfortably in the sofa and he felt how the painkillers actually had helped a bit. Zero sighed. The TV-show weren´t even interesting, it was one of those reality shows where everyone are stupid, doing everything they can just to win some money easily. 'Idiots.'
"We can´t watch this crap forever, can we?" Kay commented on the TV-show.
"I have some movies that we can watch instead and we can let our brains work under the time. Does it sound good?"
"Erhm, I suppose it does" Zero answered, anything must be better than this.
Kay went to the TV and opened a box hidden under the table.
"I have Pirates of the Caribbean, Armageddon, The green mile, Jurassic park. Well, I have more but I haven´t seen these in a while… so I…"
" Jurassic park is fine" Zero interrupted.
Kay started the DVD-player and switched off the lights. The room got lighted up by the TV screen, Kay and Zero were both quiet. It didn´t took long until Kay felt how the sofa shifted and a head leaned on his shoulder. Kay quickly felt Zeros smell and his hair in his face. Zero´s calm breathing indicated that he had fallen asleep. Kay continued to watch the movie and leaned his head against Zero´s.
Kaname woke up early, he looked at his clock and it showed that it where late in the afternoon. He argued with himself if he should go up or not. He decided not to. He didn´t have a reason to go up anymore and he wasn´t hungry either. Kaname flipped his cell open to check if Zero had sent him some kind of text message. Kaname was pretty sure that Zero would probably go out to drink, as he always did when they had argued. But this time he even didn´t get a random message with incomplete sentences as he usually did. His inbox was empty.
'I hope that he´s okay, what if something bad happened?' Kaname stared at his cell, he dialed Zeros number then he pressed 'call'. He brought his phone to his ear hearing the beeping sound. 'I can´t' Kaname hung up before the signal could reach to Zeros phone. His trembling hands held the phone in front of him. He stared at it and then he tossed it away. He knew that he couldn´t call, if he did that Zero would had won the battle. He was going to wait, Kaname knew that Zero was going to call him, he always did. Kaname picked up the regular phone on his nightstand and dialed the cleaning company that usually cleaned at his company.
"It´s Kuran Kaname, could you bring your cleaning staff here as fast as possible?" Kaname were about to do the thing that Zero hated, he were going to pay for cleaning of the house and Zero couldn´t do anything about it.
"Yes that will be perfect. In thirty minutes then? Great." Kaname put back the phone.
He got up from bed to eat something before the cleaning company would come over. He still wasn´t hungry so it only took him a couple of minutes to eat. Kaname went back to his bedroom to put his clothes on. He put on his work clothes, a dark, tight suit. Before he took his laptop and his car keys he took a quick look in the mirror. Kaname decided to drive his yellow sports car to his company and he pushed it to the limit. He parked it at his usual reserved parking space. The two secretaries welcomed him as he walked into the entrance.
"Welcome back Kuran-sama" Kaname gave them a nod before he entered the elevator.
He went up as far as it could and stepped out. The elevator was special made and if you went to the top floor it went straight to Kaname´s office. A handy thing for him so he could go straight to the office without going around everywhere. He walked to his desk and placed his laptop on its usual place. He took of his coat, laid it on his chair and turned around to the big, high windows. He gazed out over the town below him, he looked up into the sky viewing the clouds, they where dark and sinister.
"It´s going to transform to a storm" Kaname mumbled, leaned against the windowpane deep in thought.
It didn´t took much longer for Kay to fall asleep after Zero had. Both of them slept peacefully and the movie continued to roll. After an hour when the movie´s titles' had ended the TV turned black and white. Zero moved in his sleep as if he had e nightmare. A sweat drop ran down from his head down to his chin. His breathing went harder and his movements eased. Zero tossed his head to his other side making his hair cover his whole face. Rain started to hit the windows, strong wind moved the three tops back and forth. Thunder broke the silence, it was loud, it was louder than the rain and wind together. Zeros breathing didn´t calm down completely, he still breathed quickly.
Kay stirred in his sleep, cold because of the rainy weather outside and he tried to reach after his blanket but he couldn´t find it. Kay woke up when he was too cold, he had slept in an uncomfortable position and his neck was quite stiff. He lifted his head to look how much the clock was, it was just past nine pm. Kay sat up properly, he looked at his left to see that Zero was still asleep. Kay couldn´t avoid seeing that Zero dreamed but he didn´t know if it was a nightmare or not. More thunder sounded over Kay´s rooftop. The TV was still on and Kay turned it off afraid that the lightning would knock it out. He leaned back and bent over Zero´s sleeping figure. Kay reached out his hand in front of Zeros face, he hesitated at first but Kay pulled Zero´s silver bangs from his face. Kay got quite some chock as he noticed that Zero didn´t dreamed a nightmare anymore. His breathing had calmed down to normal and his facial expression where neutral, it was if he had gone away to his happy place, to his boyfriend? Suddenly a lightning struck and it lighted up the whole living room. Zero opened his eyes, they were met by Kay´s blue-green ones. Kay and Zero stared into each other's eyes.
"Hi, there" Kay whispered still bent over Zero.
Zero couldn´t find words to respond as he met Kay´s eyes only a couple of centimeters from his own face, so he just blinked. Then he remembered! He pushed Kay at the side and rose from the sofa. Kay sat down in the sofa blushing and staring at Zero. Zero had walked to the window and stared at the storm outside.
"I remember now.." he begun.
The lightning struck again and he placed his hand on the window´s cold surface.
"I kind of dreamt it, not all but some parts of it." Zero´s eyes gazed, looking at the storm with longing in his eyes. Kay stared at Zero not believing what he just had heard.
"It was a rainy day just like this one and for some reason I had not brought an umbrella to work…" Zero started.
The rain poured down and Zero cursed as he looked out through the window remembering that he had left the umbrella behind. He had always an umbrella with him but today for some odd reason he had left it at his apartment. He had some hours left to work and the rain didn´t seem to stop in quite a while. Zero looked at his papers that he was supposed to fill in, his boss where so kind that he had given him a huge pile in the end of the day. Zero knew that he had to work late, again. It wasn´t that he disliked his job or something it was just that he always got more than the others. Many of his co-workers often stared at him and some of them gave him strange looks.
"I was openly gay and rumored as 'the one who seduces everything in his path with his beauty'. It wasn´t my fault that even straight men fell for me but it wasn´t me as a person just my face."
Zero didn´t thought himself as a lonely loner, he preferred not to think about it. He made his own race and everyday he did his job, got his daily shit, then he went home to his empty apartment. This day were probably the worst one. It rained, he always got in a depressing mood when it rained and on top on that he had to work overtime. Zero sat at his desk, trying to get his work done so he could go home. He was a fast worker and his boss pile where done two hours after Zero should have ended.
"As I had finished my work, I leaned back in my chair to relax a bit but I could sense someone´s gaze behind me but when I rose and looked around I couldn´t find anyone."
Zero collected his stuff, put them down in his briefcase and shut down his computer. Before he left the building he went to the bathrooms.
"I entered the bathrooms and I had that feeling again, that someone followed me. It was so strange 'cause I was the only one left at the company."
After Zero was done on the toilet he went to wash his hands. Suddenly he heard a door open and then closing. Zero turned off the water tap and reached for a paper towel. As he looked up in the mirror he noticed that he wasn´t alone anymore, three men stood behind him. Zero turned around to see who they were.
"What do you want?" He asked them.
Zero swallowed, this wasn´t the first time this had happened either.
"We just wanted to chit-chat a little with you" They answered.
All three of them took a step closer, til' they where uncomfortably close. Zero stepped sideways against a wall right to the basins. As he took one step they took two. To soon they had him pined to the wall. Zero pressed his back against it. The front man reached out his hand and cupped Zero´s cheek. Zero turned away his head but the man grabbed his jaw hard and pulled it back.
"What´s your problem?" Zero shouted.
The men laughed at him.
"Don´t you get it? It´s you that are our problem!" The tallest of them answered.
The man pining Zero to the wall smiled big and traced his thump over Zeros lower lip. Zero´s eyes grew big in fright.
"Don´t fucking touch me!" Zero hissed at him.
Zero tried to push the man in front of him away but he was bigger than Zero and had more strength so he only moved a couple of inches. Zero was scared´, his breath increased and his heart beat fast like a drum. The man aimed back at Zero before he even had realized that his attempt to run away was in vain. Two strong hands grabbed his throat and squeezed hard around it. Zero fought to get some air but his airways were completely blocked.
"'Don´t touch me..' The man mimicked. "We know that you want us to touch you, otherwise you shouldn´t seduce every man and woman you walk past. Someone with a face like yours only have that in their mind."
Zeros world started to blur, yellow and black spots appeared in his vision field. Those strong hands let go and Zero fell down coughing for air.
"Get up!" Zero could only see the feet belonging to the men but his body couldn´t move.
"I said, Get up!" A strong kick hit Zero´s stomach and than one in his back.
Zero tried to stand up but he could only get up on his knees. A fist hit his nose, making it to bleed, the blood ran down on his face and dripped on the floor. Zero where dragged up in his hair pushed against the wall, face to face with the men.
"Do not ever try to look at anyone again or we will come back. If you do, count on that we won´t show any mercy next time. Got it?"
"Y…es. Yes."
"Good boy" They threw Zero down on the floor and walked away.
"They just beat me up and left. I was used to that people harassed me or touched me but no one had gone that far before. I didn´t know how to react and it was three on one, I had no chance."
Zero got up, supporting himself on the basins. His face where all swollen and bloody. He washed his face to get rid of all his nosebleed.
"I must have gone in chock or something 'cause suddenly I was out on the street on my way home. The rain hadn´t stopped and I was soaking wet. Cold, shivering I tried to walk home but I gave up halfway and I sat down on a bench under a couple of trees."
Zero wiped away the smeared blood mixed with water from his face with his shirt sleeve. If this had been an ordinary assault, he had probably gone out drinking. Sometimes he went to a pub but he usually drank at an gay bar, if he was lucky he could have some company through the night at his place but it was different this time he had been beaten up not bullied. He couldn´t go anywhere looking like this, Zero knew that things would get worse if he did.
Bzzz. Zeros phone rang, vibrating in his pocket. He didn´t want to answer it so he ignored the vibrating phone. The vibrations stopped after awhile, Zero already knew who it was. It was probably that man that he had met a couple of months ago. They weren´t actually dating, they just met up after work to drink sometimes. Zero could admit to himself that he were gorgeous and they had the same age so it wasn´t impossible for something to happen. It had to develop in its own rhythm.
"Kaname he called me every now and then but I didn´t know why at that time. I only thought that he was bored and needed someone to kill time with."
Zero´s phone vibrated one time, telling him that he got a message. He took up his cell to read the message. As he already had guessed the message was from Kuran Kaname.
'You didn´t answer when I called. Are everything alright? They didn´t do anything to you again?'/ Kaname.
Before he could answer his message, a car stopped beside him, he had seen that expensive car before and he knew who it belonged to. The door opened and a brown haired man stepped out from it. He closed the door, got under an umbrella and ran over to Zero´s place.
"What happened to you?" He asked worried.
"I got beaten up at work.. It´s nothing…I-I- w-as.."
Zero´s tears welled up in his eyes. Kaname saw that, he let go of his umbrella and huged him. Zero shook in Kaname´s arms.
"I was frightened. They could have… They could have.."
" But they didn´t" Kaname interrupted and comforted Zero.
"I never thought that I would break down in front of that man and that he would come for my rescue."
"Zero, look at me!" Zero took out his head from Kaname´s shoulder and stared into his eyes.
"Everything is fine, I´m here."
They stared deeply into each other's eyes; Kaname closed his and leaned forward. He took Zero´s head in his both hands and brushed his lips against Zero`s. Kaname licked on the bottom lip and then he put in his tongue in Zero´s mouth.
"He kissed me and I kissed back." Zero brought up his hand to his lips.
"I think that this is what Kaname meant. How stupid I was for not remembering! How could I?" Zero walked back to the sofa and sat down next to Kay.
"What shall I do now?"
"Isn´t it best if you contact him? Like give him a call?" Kay said as he let down his blonde hair.
"You two haven´t spoken to each other in two days."
"But it´s always me that´s the one who calls. It´s always me." Zero complained.
Kay took his hand and put away his hair from his eyes.
"I think that this time, it´s the best if you give him a call. I don´t want to give someone the blame but it´s partly your fault that it got like this." Zero sighed and rose from the sofa.
"Where´s my jacket? I think my phone is in it."
"Somewhere in the hall I suppose"
Zero walked over to the hall and searched through his pockets but he cell phone weren´t there.
"Damn it" Zero cursed.
He went back to the living room but he stopped in the door way.
"Kay, excuse me but can I borrow yours? Mine seems to be in my car"
Zero entered the living room and took the cell phone that Kay reached out to him.
"Seriously, thanks. This means a lot to me y´know?" Zero dialed Kaname´s cell phone number and brought it to his ear.
' Beep, beep' Zero swallowed nervously, little scared. Someone picked up in the other end;
"Kuran Kaname, speaking" Kaname´s voice said.
Zero didn´t know what to say and remained quiet.
"Hello…?"
Zero collected his courage to open his mouth.
"Kaname, it´s me" Zero whispered.
"I think that we should meet."
Kay looked at Zero and he saw how he trembled out of fear. It looked as if he wanted to sink through the floor.
"Wait a minute, I need to ask Kay if it´s okay first." Zero said looking at him with 'please let me stay another night' eyes.
"Do as you like" Kay answered.
"Okay, see you then." Zero said and hung up. He walked back to Kay and gave back his phone.
"We are meeting tomorrow night."
The next day when Zero woke up he was really nervous about meeting Kaname. Kay had already gone up and had put Zero´s clothes in the washer machine. When he woke up they lay folded and dry on the foot of the bed. Zero had already taken a shower the previous night so he put his clothes on. He went out into the kitchen to take a glass of water.
"Mornin'" He said to Kay.
"Mornin', or should I say good day?" Kay said and pointed at the kitchen clock.
"Do you want to eat something?" He asked.
"I can´t, I´m too nervous and I have to leave now anyways" Zero walked to the hallway and put on his shoes.
He took his jacket in his hand 'cause the sun shined and it seemed hot outside. Zero turned around in the door way, Kay appeared on the other side of the hallway.
"This is it I suppose" Zero said. Kay walked forward, closer to Zero.
"I suppose so" Kay reached out his cell phone to Zero.
"Give me your number so can we meet some other day, perhaps?" Kay asked.
Zero took the phone and added his number into Kay´s contacts.
"Bye, Kay. Thanks for letting me stay here" Zero said and turned around to open the front door.
He reached after the handle and just as he was going to open the door two arms hugged him from behind.
"Bye, Z-ero" Kay whispered.
"Uhm, yeah" Zero said and walked out.
He grabbed a taxi and told it to drive to the bar he had been at when he had met Kay. He was glad that his car was in the same condition as he had left it. Zero´s phone lay in the passenger's seat as he had predicted. He opened the door to the car and got in, nauseous he started its engine and took off. He drove in the direction to the restaurant he and Kaname was going to met and 'talk things over'. Zero stopped at a red light and saw a huge commercial sign for a free open-air concert this evening. If all went well maybe they could go to see it together? Zero thought as he looked at it. The light switched and Zero turned to the right and stopped in front of the restaurant they had decided on. Kaname´s car was already parked in front of it.
"He had to take his expensive one just to show off, so typical him" Zero mumbled.
Zero entered the restaurant and asked for Kaname.
"Kuran Kaname is in the back lounge."
Zero knew that it was the most private area in the whole restaurant, they had been there before and some things had happened that people should be lucky that they didn´t saw what they had done.
Zero headed over to the lounge. He found Kaname staring deeply into his wineglass, he had both of his hands around the foot off the glass. It didn´t took long before Kaname realized that Zero had come, he looked up and both of their eyes met but Kaname´s eyes where empty and showed no emotion against Zero. Zero walked over to Kaname and sat down on the other side of the table. None of them said anything to each other. Kaname sipped his wine and Zero followed every movement he made. As Kaname put down his glass he accidentally stared into two beautiful lilac eyes. Those beautiful eyes where shiny and full of regret. Kaname felt how long they haven´t seen or touched each other, if he was to talk, his voice would most certainly tremble. Zero collected his courage and breathed in.
"Kaname, I just wanted to say that I´m sorry" Zero said as he breathed out.
Kaname swallowed hard as Zero brought forward his hand and took Kaname´s in his. They continued to stare into each other's eyes, Zero squeezed their hands together, rubbed his thumps over Kanames hands.
"I know what you meant back then and I don´t know how I could forget that day but I realized that you have made me forget about those days. You are my everything. I love you, Kaname. I love you so much!" Kaname´s eyes widened.
He looked down into the table, smiling too happy to find words. He pulled Zero´s arms against himself, Kaname leaned over the table, touched Zero´s chin with his hand. He leaned closer and stole a kiss from Zero´s innocent lips. Zero opened his mouth and their tongues met in a wet dance of hot kisses. They broke apart half panting, Kaname felt that he could speak and asked Zero as they both leaned back;
"Did something happened between you and that guy?"
"Don´t you trust me, Kaname? I am not that lose to hit on other men in a random bar just for fun." Zero calmed down and took a deep breath.
He didn´t want to repeat the whole story again, he felt that he hadn´t a second chance.
"No, nothing happened between us and as far as I know so is he not even gay."
"I do trust you Zero it´s just that your whole body smells like another man and you called him by his first name…"
"He never told me his last name and he hugged me awkwardly before I left his apartment."
"Not gay, you said?"
"Something like that, maybe I still got it in me… Haha…" Zero said and laughed quietly.
Kaname didn´t let Zero go with his gaze, he wanted to look at the man who he loved so much that his heart ached as soon as he thought about him. It was if both of them were sitting in a bubble that closed out everybody else in the restaurant, they had only eyes for each other and nobody else. They relaxed more and more, the tension in the air was long gone and everything felt so good. Kaname looked seductively at Zero, he brought up his hand to his head and leaned on his fist, still not letting Zero go with his eyes. Zero noticed the lustful mood Kaname was in and his face blushed pink.
"I love you, Zero. So much that my heart aches every time I look at you." Kaname said with a low voice.
Zero´s whole face turned red but they never let each other go with their eyes.
"I love you" Kaname said again and Zero blushed harder.
Kaname´s lips smiled a half evil smile as he slowly slide down a little in the chair. He pretended as if he just had made himself comfortable and had his gaze fixed on Zero. Under the table Kaname took off one of his shoes with help from the other foot. He brought up his foot slowly against Zero, as it founded its target, Kaname put his foot down lightly and let it stay there. Zero made a surprised face and was met by Kaname´s aroused and revengeful one. Kaname loved Zero´s expression and pressed down harder.
"Erhm, Kaname.. I have a place I want to take you to, tonight." Zero said, he couldn´t be swept away this easily.
Disappointed Kaname took down his foot and replaced it in his shoe again. This always worked on Zero apparently not today, maybe Zero had understood that he had to get more serious in their relationship?
"Shall we go right now or?" Kaname asked. Zero glanced at his wristwatch and saw that the concert already had begun but it wouldn´t hurt if they were a little bit late.
"Yeah, but I´m driving cause you have been drinking"
"As if that came out from the right mouth" Kaname frowned.
They both stopped in front of their cars as they came out from the restaurant.
"We will ride my car." Kaname and Zero said at the same time.
"If we take mine, I can send someone for yours." Kaname said.
Zero´s brain came up with a zillion reasons that argued against Kaname´s proposition but he didn´t say anything and asked for the keys instead. He opened the passenger door for Kaname and went over to the driver's side. Kaname smiled at Zero, he knew perfectly well that Zero hated that they would use his car. Kaname got into the car and Zero started it up and drove towards the secret destination. It only took a couple of minutes to get there. It was quite a lot of people among loud music and shattering. Kaname was amazed how big the event was. Zero locked the car and walked over to Kaname, they both gazed over the area.
"Wow, I didn´t expect it to be this large" Zero commented.
He took Kaname´s hand in his and dragged him along in the crowd. He held on tight afraid to lose Kaname. They went longer in and ended up in the middle of all the people and they had a great view forward. They still held hands not thinking about it just watching the concert. None of them really pay any attention on the concert only on their entwined hands. A sign of love. A cold wind blew past the couple and Zero shuddered from the cold.
"Are you freezing, Zero?" Kaname asked.
"Just a little." He admitted.
Kaname let go of Zero´s hand to Zeros disappointment. Strong arms hugged him from behind, pressing him against the body behind him. Zero recognized Kaname´s cologne and put his arms over Kaname´s.
"Is this warming you up?" Kaname whispered in Zero´s ear.
Zero blushed and nodded. They cuddled closer and moved in sync with the music and just where there together. Their old fight was long forgotten. Right now they just enjoyed each other. It felt as if they were in a bubble that closed everything else out. Zero turned his head up against Kaname. He stared into the passionate brown eyes. He moved his head closer to Kaname´s and smiled.
"I love you, Kaname" He said.
His whole heart was warm and he couldn´t be happier.
"I love you so much, Zero" Kaname said smoothly.
Still staring into each other's eyes they moved closer so their noses touched. Kaname leaned in and licked on Zero´s bottom lip as he always did before completely kissing him. Zero opened his mouth to let his lover in. Their kiss where deep and intense. Zero broke from the kiss and stared into Kaname´s eyes. He turned back his head and cuddled closer to Kaname. Kaname hugged Zero as hard as he could, whishing that the night wouldn´t end because they were finally together.