Once upon a time, in the land of Hyrule, there was a princess named Zelda. Zelda was very pretty and had all the boys coming after her like bees to a flower, but this story's not about that. Zelda had a very good friend named Link who made it his own responsibility that whenever Zelda needed something then Link would always be there to help her.
Like when Zelda's chefs needed the pickle jar opened for them.
Or when Zelda lost her favorite pair of shoes in her shoe castle.
Or when the evil magical being named Gannon came back from the dead to wreak havoc and revenge on the entire Hyrule royal dynasty for previously locking him away for one thousand years because he tried to sink the whole world into total and utter chaos.
But this story is not about any of those either. No, this was a calm day in the land of Hyrule, or relatively so, just one of those days that Link and Zelda loved to go out and have lunch at a café in the middle of Hyrule Square. Zelda's treat of course (what did she care, the tax payer was footing the bill anyway).
"So Link," started Zelda with a sip for her expensive Goron Charcoal Tea that came all the way from Goron Mountain, but still tasted like a fireplace, "I've been wondering something."
Link was busy stuffing his face full of sandwich and jerked his head in Zelda's direction. What is it? Was what he was asking.
"Where do you keep all you weapons? Do you keep them in a magic pouch on your belt? Does your little fairy friend keep them for you in a little space in a dimensional pocket? Or do you just pull them out of your $$?"
Link blinked. He shook his head and would have answered her had he not been busy drinking his Hyrule Berry Juice, and just pointed to his head.
"You keep them close to your mind so that you'll always think of them in the right situations right when you need them?"
Link blinked again and nodded, but also shrugged his shoulders in a way that said yes, but no. He would have said something, but he sneezed. He pointed to his head again and would have spoken but he was blowing his nose on Zelda's 10,000 rupee silk handkerchief that smelled like moth balls and dust.
"Oh, so you keep all your weapons in your hat. That explains a lot actually. No one in their right mind would wear one of those sock hats these days anymore, they're just so outdated."
Link would have said something like SCREW YOU ZELDA! But he just ran away crying because the princess just dissed his iconic hat.
A/N: No I do not own any of the Legend of Zelda franchise, but that would be pretty cool if I did. I know that I kind of made Link seem like a crybaby and Zelda like a serious bee-otch but seriously, isn't that kind of how they would be in real life? Reviews are appreciated and recommended because I'd love to know everyone's opinion.
P.S. It only took me half an hour to write this, don't completely slaughter me please. And whoever took my pants at the party last Tuesday night, can you return them? I really like my rainbow pants.