Keep Breathing
A/N: the title is from the Ingrid Michaelson song Keep Breathing
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the creators of OTH
The storm is coming
But I don't mind
People are dying
I close my blinds
All that I know
Is I'm breathing now
She sat in her car for what seemed like hours staring blankly at the large white river-house. Drumming her fingers nervously against the steering-wheel Rachel mumbled her rehearses speech over and over again in a desperate attempt to stall for more time. As the sun slowly sets over the port she notices every light in the house being turned on. "Weird" she thought, "but I guess she's not concerned about the electric bill" Taking one last deep breath she ran a hand through her auburn hair, gives the rearview mirror a wink and steps out of her car.
Each step to the front door felt like one second closer to a death chamber, she paces in front of the door and before she loses what little bit of courage she has mustard, she reaches out and abruptly knocks on the door. "Okay, just breathe Gattina. It's Brooke, of course she's gonna be pissed, what with the way you just bailed and stole over a hundred grand from her but it's Brooke. She'll forgive you, she's your best friend. Right and friend is just fiend without the r, look how long she stayed mad at Peyton and they had been tight for years." Rachel snorts as she remembers the total annihilation of that life long friendship over a freaking guy who was in no way good enough for Brooke, in Rachels' opinion but then again she's a bit bias. Nervously tugging on the cuff of her jacket she hears the sound of faint footsteps making their way to the door.
"Who's … who is it?" a tentative voice asks. Rachel frowns at the unfamiliar tremor in the distinctive voice that she would recognize anywhere. She decides to set that tidbit aside for the moment and with as much bravado she can fake calls back,
"Hey Davis open up already I'm freezing my perfectly formed ta-ta's off out here." then she waits with baited breath as there's a bit of shuffling on the other side of the door and in the next moment the sound of several dead bolt locks are being turned. "Curiouser and Curiouser" she thinks as she counts four in total. "Bet Vamptoria filled her head with thoughts of me coming back to steal her Milanos' , then again I'd need a forklift to get that collection out of…." her sardonic thoughts are interrupted as the door finally opens to reveal a very bruised and battered Brooke Davis. Gone was the dazzling smile and too cute for their own damn good dimples that haunts Rachels' dreams. The once expressive greenish/hazel eyes are dull , somewhat glazed, puffy surrounded by multicolored bruises standing out against her once flawless skin.
Brooke waits in silence expecting Rachel to have the same reaction as everyone else has had at her appearance. Completely bored with this entire ordeal she mentally begins to list off the general census of emotion every other person she's been close to seems to have done; first, is shock, because really she looks grotesque. Second, is concern, because 'OMG you're my friend and why didn't you tell me' and insert appropriate concerned statement here. Third is fear/impatience because 'yeah yeah yeah hurry up and say you're fine already so that I can get back to talking about myself and/or my life.' She knows it's a little unfair to think this way about her friends but really can't they see that she is so far from being fine. A cool gust of wind blows off the river and Brooke unconsciously wraps her arms around her aching ribs the cold air making her bruises throb. It's beginning to get dark out and her eyes sweep the shadows looking for an unseen phantom poised to attack. She's just about to close the door and retreat into her brightly lit fortress of solitude when a low growl catches her off guard.
"WTF! Who did this to you." Startled by this new and unknown reaction to her physical appearance as of late, she stumbles for the excuse that seems to satisfy the others. Pulling herself up to her full 5'5 height she tries to breeze by the question with a simple, "What? This, oh it's nothing I fell down the stairs. The question is what are you doing here Rachel?"
"Don't pull that bullshit with me Brooke, who did this to you? Was it that bartender? Did he hit you, I swear to God if he did this I'll break every bone in his body!"
Brookes' jaw drops, she is completely unprepared for this confrontation. Leave it to Rachel Gattina to push her out of her comfort zone and demand the truth no matter how ugly it may be. Standing in the doorway with her fiery red hair blowing in the wind refusing to back down and totally ready to do battle with whomever hurt her friend Rachel looks like an avenging angel and in that moment it was the most beautiful sight Brooke has ever seen.
"It wasn't… I told you I fell down the stairs and hit like every damn step on the way down. Besides Owen and I have been over for a while now so..""Don't give me that crap Brooke Davis! I don't know what kind of freaky funhouse you live in here but the last time I checked stairs don't put handprints on one's body!" Rachel huffed. Feeling cornered and coming to the realization that she wasn't going to be able to skirt around the issue for much longer Brooke turns on her heel, retreating back into the house throwing a scathing look over her shoulder to her unexpected guest.
"What are you even doing here Rachel, I'd thought you'd be halfway to Heriontown by now, or did you take a detour to Crackwhore City." she hissed.
Rachel, undeterred by the insults, follows her into the house and slams the door. Taking a deep breath to calm the rage boiling inside of her at the sight of her Brooke, she looks around the house and notices the subtle differences made in the time that she has been gone. In addition to the four deadlocks on the front door there are also two more on the back door. All of the blinds are drawn and have been since early this afternoon. The couch seems to have been moved giving more room to move freely to an exit point. There's a baseball bat leaning against the wall near the door and a lacrosse bat on the second landing. But with all of these little changes invisible to the naked eye the biggest change comes in the form of absolute terror rolling off of Brooke Davis in waves. She's back to hugging herself, eyes not quite meeting Rachels' gaze and you could almost see the wheels in her head trying to spin this situation.
"Brooke" Rachel says softly, taking a step towards her friend. Brooke jumps slightly at the movement and Rachels' uncharacteristic tone.
"I'm fine. " she mutters and Rachel can't decide who she's trying to convince. "I just f fell is all" she stutters and Brooke Davis never stutters. Closing her eyes she blinks back the tears threatening to fall.
"Brooke, please you are so far from fine that it's not even funny. Tell me what happened." Standing in front of her broken friend she brushes a lock of chocolate brown hair behind her ear and Brooke recoils from the contact. Suddenly angry Brooke pushes past Rachel and heads for the stairs.
"Look I told you what happened, don't get mad at me if you're too slow to follow the conversation." She's scared and she wants to lash out, she's hurt and she wants to hurt someone in return. She's been lying to her friends for days and she wants someone to call her on it but they don't. They think that if given the time she'll work it out on her own and will share when she's ready. But they're wrong, she doesn't want to be left to figure this out on her own because no matter what she does she can't wrap her mind around what has happened to her. She can't fathom how another human being can hurt someone in this manner and she can't stop blaming herself for not being able to properly defend herself.
"I'm tired I'm going to bed, " she says as she stomps off up the stairs " try not to pinch the silver while I'm asleep"
"Careful on those stairs, wouldn't want you to fall and get another handprint on your fat ass."
Brooke stops and whirls around, she opens her mouth as if ready to lay into Rachel. Rachel holds her breath in anticipation but the words never come. Brooke heaves a deep sigh before turning back around.
"If your staying the night you can sleep in your old room," she says as she ascends the stairs " and don't forget to lock the doors."
Rachel stands alone in the living room fuming, "Just what the Hell did I miss."
"This is my life, I'm taking a stand!" she nods her head in the affirmative as she looks over the dark store. Turning towards the door she barely has time to scream as a dark figure leaps out of the shadows and forces her to step back. His hand connects with her face, knocking her back and into the floor display. She hit's the ground hard and before she can regain her senses he's on top of her pounding fiercely into her face and upper body. Her head ricochets off of the hardwood floor and there is a distinct ringing in her ears, she chokes on her own blood and can hear the sound of his panting as he grows tired from hitting her. She's relieved when he finally stops and the sounds of him smashing open the cash register echo throughout the room. He's fumbling around in the dark, shoving clothes into a sack so she uses his distraction to roll over onto her side and slowly inch her way to the door.
In the blink of an eye he's on her again, knees pressing into the back of her thighs, arms pinning her shoulders to the ground.
"Uh uh, sweetness just where do you think you're going huh?" grinding his pelvis into her backside, Brooke cringes. "Party's not over yet." His breath is hot and putrid against her cheek and all she can do is let out a desperate sob.
"Please, don't… just take the money, please don't.." her pleas go unanswered as the sound of him fiddling with his belt rings out. Everything hurts and she can barely breathe, his hand travels between her legs and she uses her last reserve of energy to try and buck him off of her. Her anguished pleas and his cackling laughter mixes into the air.
Jut when she resigns herself to the inevitable the grasp on her arms slacken, the large hands with the bruising grip morphs into small soft hands that are gently soothing away the pain. She's enveloped into a warm embrace and someone is whispering reassuring words into her ear. And for the first time since the attack Brooke feels safe.
Rachel lies in bed with her battered friend calming her from the horrific nightmare. As Brookes' whimpering slowly dies down Rachel vows to herself that she will get to the bottom of this and she won't leave Brookes' side until she's fully healed.
I want to change the world
Instead I sleep
I want to believe in more
Than you and me
But all that I know is I'm breathing
All I can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing, now
The distant sound of a foghorn pierces the early morning noises of the harbor. Rachel rubs her thumb in soothing circles on the bruises on Brookes hip. She knows Brooke is awake even with her back pressed to Rachel's chest. About ten minutes ago her breathing pattern changed from deep and steady to shallow and quick but she makes no move to acknowledge this until Brooke speaks. Ten hours ago while she was unpacking her suitcase in her old room she wondered just when the hell did Brooke start going to bed at eight o'clock when she heard distressing noises coming from across the hall. Peeking into the brightly lit bedroom she spotted Brooke asleep on her big bed in the throes of a nightmare. The sight of the beautiful brunettes tear stained face and wounded cries for help spurs her into action and the next thing she knows, Rachel is on the bed with a trembling Brooke in her arms begging an unknown assailant to just 'take the money and leave.'
Rachel's heart broke as the desperate sobs wracked Brooke's small frame and she spent the rest of the night piecing together in her mind what must have happened.
"I have to get up soon" the raspy voice jerks her out of those disturbing thoughts. For a moment Rachel doesn't say anything, since Brooke hasn't pushed her hand away from their gentle ministrations she continues the soft caress. "Millicent isn't here so I've got to open up the store." She still doesn't move so Rachel takes this as an opportunity to delve deeper into this mystery.
"Do you want some help today since your short-handed?" she casually offers and she holds her breath when Brooke suddenly turns around to face her. She doesn't answer right away, studying Rachel's face searching for some sort of deception. Rachel puts on her best poker face and tries to hide her churning emotions under Brooke's penetrating stare.
"You want to help out at the store?" she asks, incredously. Rachel rolls her eyes at Brooke's raised eyebrow.
"Why is that such a shock, who was it that slaved away every day for nearly two months helping you prepare for the very first store opening, huh?"
"That's right, you were the one standing next to me when all my dreams came true." She stares in wonder at her red headed friend thinking back on that glorious day years ago when the very first Clothes Over Bros store officially opened for business. They had done well that day, selling out of almost all of the high end pieces Victoria boasted, but all that mattered to Brooke was at the end of the night when Rachel smiling face ( a real smile, not a smirk ) pulled her into a hug and whispered how proud she was of her. Brooke sank into the embrace, her heart near bursting with happiness. After a while she reluctantly pulled back to see an emotionally open Rachel smiling softly at her, their faces inches apart. The loud clearing of a throat brought them back to their senses and they stepped back to see Victoria glaring at Rachel. Brooke was taken aback by that because Rachel seemed to be the only one of her friends that Victoria has ever seem to approve of, mainly because of her families wealth and social standing. Come to think of it, ever since that night Rachel's standing in Victoria's good graces slowly began to deteriorate. She didn't pick up on it right away, too dazzled by what her mother was dangling in front of her face, but that was the day when Victoria launched her diabolical campaign to get rid of the last of Brooke's close friends.
She is suddenly very aware of how their bodies are entwined and how she is not in the least bit uncomfortable in their current position. It feels right to have Rachel's arms wrapped tight around her waist and she feels that if there is one person who she could talk to without the fear of being judged, pitied, or made to feel like some sort of disgusting science project it's probably the person lying next to her. She so desperately wants to open up but there is a traffic jam from her brain to her mouth and she can't formulate the right words.
Rachel waits patiently as Brooke tries to gather her thoughts, she can see the frustration in her friends face when the words stall on her tongue. She has a vague idea about what may have happened but she needs to hear the words from Brooke in order to formulate a plan on how to help her friend. That comment about being there when her dreams came true caught Rachel off guard and has her wishing for things she knows will never be possible. At the very least she will earn back her friendship and all of the trust that Brooke has instilled in her over the years, starting with this one huge obstacle. Let is never be said that Rachel Gattina didn't enjoy a challenge.
"How about I make us some breakfast?" baby steps Gattina. Brooke's eyes light up like a child.
"Chocolate chip pancakes? And sunny-side up eggs extra running with bacon on the side and hash browns?" Rachel pretends to be put out by this laborious request.
"Sure, whatever fatass but don't complain to me when your ass is too big to fit through the door." she leans over and plants a quick kiss on Brooke's nose before climbing out of bed and heading for the door. Just as she's stepping out into the hallway she hears a faint, "Thanks skank." and continues to the kitchen.
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
Even though it's the same layout and design as every other C/B store in the franchise the Tree Hill location has a different feel then all the others. Maybe it was simply because this was the first time that she managed to pull one over on Victoria and create a successful endeavor despite Victoria's protest that a Tree Hill location was a waste of time, money and resources. Brooke used to feel proud when she walked through the door , she used to wake up every morning excited about standing behind a counter for hours or watching soap operas on the TV. when Jaime stopped by but now as she unlocks the front door and punches in the code on the security panel (yeah where the hell was that three days ago) her insides turn ice cold, she swallows back the bile rising in her throat as images of that night flashes before her eyes.
Rachel watches as Brooke's body stiffens as she walks into the store. Her hand shake as she reaches for the security panel and she takes several deep breathes in order to calm her nerves. 'So this is where it happened' she thinks looking around to see nothing out of the usual. This morning while Brooke was in the shower Haley called to remind Brooke that she was dropping off Jaime around lunch time and if the tutor mom was surprised by who answered Brooke's phone then she was definitely taken aback when Rachel ripped into her for not getting to the bottom of this shit.
"How in the Hell can you people claim to be her best friends her family and not lift a finger to help her!" Rachel silently fumed. She was pacing the kitchen desperately trying to keep her voice down in case Brooke overhears her.
"Look Rachel," Haley spat over the phone " all I know is that Peyton said she fell down the stairs and I didn't see her until yesterday. Both she and Peyton has assured us over and over again that she is fine and I…""Fine? She's not Fucking fine! She didn't fall down the Fucking stairs! Any short bus seat warmer could tell you that she's drowning yet you all swallow that lame ass excuse. Idiots!"
"Well last time I checked Rachel you weren't about to win the BFF award of the year either more like about to get tossed in jail for grand larceny and impersonating a human being." As much s she tries not to let it Haley's words cut deep. She knows what she did was shitty but she's not about to let Haley off the hook about Brooke.
"Whatever tutor bitch, I don't have time to argue with your incompetent ass, Brooke's getting out of the shower and we need to get to the store to open up for the day.""Yeah, well just remember that the money goes into the cash register and not your purse!" and with that Haley hangs up leaving Rachel to ponder a way to reach through the phone lines and strangle someone.
Rachel watches Brooke as she stares at a spot on the floor near the front of the store, she's silent for what seems like an eternity and Rachel cannot understand how someone who feels the need to share just about every outrageous thought that enters her mind has trouble talking about anything dealing with real emotions. Brooke kneels down and waves her had over a section of the floor that looks as though it has been scrubbed clean with a harsh cleanser. Rachel squats down next to her.
"What happened here Brooke?" she asks softly, and for a fraction of a second Brooke considers lying but something in Rachel's tone tells her it would be futile because she already knows but simply wants a confirmation.
Taking a deep breath Brooke launches into the twisted tale of how her mother threatened to take away the company that she has poured her heart and soul into and what happened three nights ago in this very room. Rachel listens intently, cursing Victoria in all the right places and squeezing Brooke's hand when she needs the strength to continue. She is overcome in a fit of sobs when she gets to the part when the burglar has her pinned to the floor and stops for ten excruciating minutes before she is able to speak again. Rachel heaves a sigh of relief at hearing that a passing fire truck and sirens interrupted the bastard before he could take thing further. Rachel is appalled to hear how Brooke dragged her broke body home to an empty house and how she has chosen to deal with this attack.
"I still say that you should have called the cops.""What difference would it have made? He was wearing gloves and a ski mask and he didn't…. you know, so there wasn't any physical evidence. Besides, Voldemortoria would have just used this as an excuse that the Tree Hill store was a bad idea from the beginning." Knowing that she had a point Rachel still didn't like the idea of this nutcase running loose out there or the fact that he may come back to finish the job, so to speak.
"Okay, one thing at a time, first we need to call George, CeeCee, Lauren and any other board member that may be on our side and toss a wrench in She Who Must Not Be Named's plans. Next, we'll hire a security guard and extra help around here. And lastly, I know you're probably going to object but you need to see a doctor to make sure there's no permanent damage done to your writs and it'll be a idea to see a shrink as well.." Brooke opens her mouth to protest but Rachel quickly silences her.
"Seriously Brooke, if you say you're fine one more time I'm gonna scream.""I may not be 100," Brooke concedes "but I'm dealing with this."
"Please, going to the gun range with Big Bad Mama Deb is not healthy. Bottling up all of your anger is how people develop drug habits, trust me." Brooke considers her options of wallowing in the dark or fighting her way back towards the light and with a firm nod Rachel is pulling her into a much needed hug.
"It'll be rough Brookie but I'm here for you."
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing, now
a/n: I had another part of this story that explained where Rachel has been and why she chose now to return to Tree Hill but it would have made this story too long and would have overshadowed what Brooke was going through. But for those of you who are wondering, I'd written a sidebar about Rachel going to that party in South Beach (I think ) and while she was at the party some girl overdosed in the bathroom and everyone just kind of left her there. Rachel watches the girl die and starts to think was there to help her when she had almost died. So she leaves Florida, checks into rehab and in her therapy sessions makes amends with her family and then goes to make amends with Brooke. That was the speech she was practicing in the car but never got to say because she chose to put Brooke's issues ahead of her own.