Disclaimer: I don't own South Park, it is the ingenious creation of Trey Parker and Matt Stone!
Chapter 1: Taking Out the Trash
Karen McCormick and her best friend, Ruby Tucker, stepped off the school bus once they'd reached their stop and began their walk home. It had been another boring day at South Park Elementary and the girls couldn't wait to relax. As they walked, Karen glanced down at a piece of paper in her hand every few minutes and smiled.
"What's that, Karen?" Ruby asked, pointing to the paper.
"It's a picture I drew for my guardian angel in art class," Karen answered. "Do you think he'll like it?"
Karen held up the picture to show the pigtailed girl. She had drawn herself and Mysterion, her guardian angel, holding hands and standing under a rainbow and a smiling sun.
Ruby nodded. "Yeah, he'll like it."
"Good!" Karen slipped the picture into her backpack. "It's to say thanks for saving me from that mean sixth grader during recess last week."
"Oh yeah, I remember that! What happened after he beat that guy up?"
"He carried me back to class, and then he walked me home after school before disappearing as usual," Karen answered.
"Do you know where he goes when he's not saving you?" Ruby asked.
Karen shrugged. "I have no idea. But he told me that when I'm not in trouble, he's always watching over me, even when I can't see him."
On top of an apartment building across the street from them, Kenny was perched on the ledge dressed in his Mysterion costume. His hooded cape swished around his ankles as he watched the girls, whom he'd been following at a distance to make sure they got home safely.
Kenny had been acting as his alter ego many times for the past few months. After everything that happened with Cthulhu, he figured he wouldn't have to be a superhero anymore since South Park wasn't in any more grave danger. The only time he planned on being Mysterion was to comfort and protect Karen when she needed it. But after he donned his costume and saved his siblings and the other foster children from the Weatherheads, he remembered that he became a superhero to protect the innocent from people like them. So once Kenny and his siblings were reunited with their parents, he decided to go back to protecting South Park. He had been secretly patrolling the city at night or during the day if he could and stopping all sorts of petty or serious crimes. Lucky for him, the citizens of South Park had found favor with him again and were grateful for his help.
It was exhausting work, though. Kenny wasn't always getting to bed at a decent hour and sometimes his arms and legs would be sore for a few days after beating up people twice his size. He was falling a little behind on schoolwork too, which was nothing new. Kenny had even skipped school on this particular day to help the police stop a bank robbery turned hostage situation. Nevertheless, he was always there for Karen when she needed him most. As long as she and everyone else in South Park were safe, Kenny didn't mind having to pull some all-nighters and catching up on homework at his friends' houses.
Below, Karen and Ruby exchanged goodbyes as Ruby reached the street leading to her house. Karen continued her walk, humming to herself. With a running start, Kenny jumped over to the roof of an adjacent apartment building and followed her. They were getting close to a bad part of town and Kenny was always anxious whenever Karen walked through it.
His fears suddenly became reality when a pair of arms reached out from an alleyway, grabbed Karen, and pulled her out of sight. Kenny gasped and his Mysterion persona immediately took over.
"Oh HELL no!" he exclaimed in his deep voice.
Kenny slid down the drainpipe of the apartment building and rushed to the rescue.
XXX
In the alley, Karen cowered and held her backpack close to her chest as her attacker loomed over her. He was a boy a little taller than she was, wearing jeans, boots and a black hoodie with the hood pulled over his hair.
"P-p-please don't hurt me!" Karen stammered.
"Just shut up and give me your money," the boy demanded.
Karen shook her head. "I don't have any money…"
"I said cough it up, girlie!" The boy thrust out his hand impatiently.
"But I really don't have any!" Karen insisted. "My family is poor!"
The boy yanked the backpack out of Karen's hands to look for loose change in it. Karen desperately tried to snatch it back. She was scared, but she wasn't going to let him take her guardian angel's drawing.
"Give it back! It's mine!" she protested.
The boy angrily grabbed Karen by the collar of her jacket and lifted her up. Karen went limp in his grasp, trembling like a blade of grass in the wind.
"I think you're lying to me, girlie. And you know what?" The boy pulled Karen closer to his face. "I don't like it when people lie."
"And I don't like it when I see a punk harassing little girls," said a deep voice behind him.
The boy spun around to see a scowling Mysterion step out from the shadows. Karen stopped shaking and smiled at the sight of her guardian angel. The boy in the hoodie, on the other hand, could hardly believe his eyes and wasn't sure whether to laugh or feel intimidated.
"Who the hell are you?" he asked.
I've heard this voice before, Mysterion thought to himself. But where? He shrugged it off and took a few steps closer.
"I'm the guy telling you to get your hands off that girl before I kick your ass."
The boy couldn't help but laugh. He wasn't sure what to make of this costumed weirdo, but he looked like he was all talk and no action. Still, the boy loved a challenge.
"Kick my ass?" he chuckled. "I'd like to see you try, Batman!"
The boy roughly dropped Karen and her backpack to the ground and walked toward Mysterion, cracking his knuckles menacingly. Karen sat up and began to cry as she rubbed her freshly scraped knee.
Mysterion's face contorted with rage, incensed with the treatment of his baby sister. "All right then," he growled.
Before the boy in the hoodie had a chance to blink, Mysterion sprang forward and punched him hard in the nose. The boy yelped and staggered backwards in shock, blood flowing down his face like a waterfall. Mysterion continued with a roundhouse kick to the boy's stomach and a few kicks to the groin. The boy doubled over and sank to his knees groaning in pain.
"This was just a warning," Mysterion hissed through gritted teeth. "If I ever see you harassing Karen McCormick again, you'll get worse! Do you understand?"
The boy nodded, glaring at him with a look that could kill.
"Good."
Mysterion grabbed the boy by the arm and flung him toward the alley's overflowing trash can. The boy passed out upon impact and fell spread-eagled to the ground. The can tipped over, covering him in fast food wrappings and moldy banana peels.
Dusting off his hands, Mysterion walked over to Karen and helped her to her feet. Karen wrapped her arms around her protector and sobbed into his shirt. Mysterion returned the hug and reassuringly rubbed her back.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I-I think so," Karen sniffed. "Thanks for saving me, Guardian Angel!"
"Think nothing of it, Karen," Mysterion replied as he gently wiped away his sister's tears. "I'll always be here to protect you."
Karen smiled and stopped crying as she gave her guardian angel another hug.
"Now, let's get you home and take care of that knee," said Mysterion as he picked up Karen's backpack and put it on.
Karen pointed to the boy in the hoodie. "What about him?"
"Don't worry about him. They collect the trash at this hour anyway."
Mysterion scooped Karen up into his arms and set off for home. As soon as they were gone, the boy in the hoodie regained consciousness and shakily stood up. Wiping blood and garbage off his face, he peered around the corner and watched Mysterion walk away.
"So, South Park has a superhero now," he mused. "I'm impressed. He's the first guy to actually kick my ass and live."
A gust of wind blew the boy's hood down, revealing his short, wild blond hair. He pulled a switchblade with "Kill all betrayers" written on it out of his pants pocket and flicked it open.
"Next time I see him," Trent Boyett vowed, "he won't be so lucky."