Yo, wassup? It's me again! I Wrote Clementines a while ago (yes, shameless plug, now go read it), and loved writing the Naruto characters (well, mostly Kakashi). So, I thought I'd try my hand at another fic.
Unfortunately, this story is a true one (even some of the dialogue), and it seriously freaked me out when it happened (you'll know when you read it). My mom and step-dad were playing racquetball with me, and I lost because of this. It was...disturbing.
Oh yeah, for this fic, you're gonna need to know what racquetball is. If ya know already, read the story now instead of this. ..Yes, now. Go on. Stop reading. If you don't know, however, here's a basic summary of the game: Racquetball is kinda like tennis in a big, square room with a bouncy rubber ball. The aim is to hit it off the back wall and try to make the other person miss the ball. When playing with 3 people, you rotate who is the server, and when it's that person's turn, either of the other two can hit it when it's their turn to hit the ball. You can only score points when you're serving, and when you get to 15 points, you win. Oh, and if I lost you there, it's not a big deal. Just picture them in a big room hitting a little ball with a racquet. (And if you're still unclear, you can always leave a REVIEW -hint hint- and I'll try to PM you and explain better.)
(Edit: Oh, and this fic is AU. In case you were too distracted by my rambling to figure it out. -.- Yeeaaa..)
Alrighty then, shutting up now.
Warning: Shounen-ai is mentioned, as is yaoi. Some suggestive comments, trauma, and overall creepiness because truth is scarier than fiction. (Don't like boyXboy, don't read)
Disclaimer: Didn't. Don't. Won't - OMG, look! Sasuke is shirtless and making out with Naruto! -steals Kakashi and runs- SUCKERS!
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Of Sports and Shameless Flirting
"I've got it!"
Iruka leapt out of the way as Naruto - a little aggressively, I might add - dived for the ball, hitting it as hard as he could against the back wall. Kakashi effortlessly returned the shot and sweatdropped as Naruto again called the ball but missed it and fell face-first on the hard wooden floor.
"Owwwch!!"
"Ah, Naruto, are you alright?" Iruka asked hesitantly, always the 'mother-hen' figure (1). However, before he had a chance to check more, Naruto bounced back up and laughed it off, telling Iruka that he worried too much. Kakashi hid a smirk when he noticed Naruto limped the next few points, though.
"Well, Kakashi, that was your point. You serve again, I suppose," Iruka called, getting into position in the back right corner of the court. Naruto groaned.
"Aww man, I hate his serves. They're evil!" He muttered. After all, Kakashi did have a bit of a reputation for his incredibly good serves - they always seemed to go just where the opponent was not. However, Naruto always beat him hands down for stamina - if the kid didn't get himself too bruised up and injured by the second or third game to play.
Kakashi served, and after Iruka managed to return the shot - Naruto would swear Kakashi went easy on him - they continued the game.
Playing racquetball every Wednesday was a long-time tradition between Naruto, Iruka, and Kakashi. It had started when Naruto had mentioned playing the game to Iruka, his old high school teacher, and got a pleasant surprise when Iruka said he played, too. They had played a game or two every once in a while, but these became more frequent when Iruka started bringing his boyfriend Kakashi along, who later turned out to be Naruto's college history professor. This had gone on for so long they were now 'regulars' at the local gym, and everyone knew them as 'that loudmouth boy, shy teacher-type, and the dude with the perverted books.'
Finally, Iruka got a shot by Kakashi, and the serve was switched to Naruto. They played several rounds, in which Naruto got the points (by sheer luck, of course, because everyone knew Naruto couldn't aim the ball - only hit it really, really hard and hope for the best (2)). The game progressed, with the scores approaching 10 - Kakashi in the lead, as usual - and all seemed normal. But then, suddenly... it happened.
"Ouch! Kakashi, watch where you aim, geez!"
The ball smacked Iruka strait in the butt.
"Oh! - Iruka, are you alright?" Kakashi rushed over, stopping the point in the middle of play (much to Naruto's annoyance). He guiltily looked at Iruka's backside. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"
Iruka smiled at his over-protective boyfriend. "Nah, I'm OK. I was just surprised, that's all. Let's get back to - Kakashi, what are you doing?.!"
"Rubbing it better," was Kakashi's simple answer, as he rubbed the place where the ball had hit Iruka. Iruka blushed, making the scar across his nose appear darker.
"Kakashi, don't, not here! Naruto's right here and he might - um, Naruto?"
Both men sweatdropped at the sight. Naruto stared at them, slightly blue in the face and looking quite disturbed.
"Uh, sorry, Naruto. We didn't mean to make you uncomfortable -" Iruka started, but was interrupted by Kakashi.
"Yeah, at least I didn't KISS it better, ne?"
Silence.
Kakashi smirked.
Iruka turned an even deeper red.
Naruto stared. And stared. He did NOT just hear that. No WAY did he just hear that. He didn't just -
"AAAUUUGGHHH! I DID NOT just hear that! Ugh! Bad mental images! AHHH!" Naruto screamed, with his hands covering his ears. Usually, Kakashi and Iruka stole a few kisses during matches, but never did anything like this. This was...Kakashi just...this crossed the line!
Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, Naruto. Grow up. It's not like you don't do this with Sasuke, right?"
Naruto shivered. "Yeah, but but...this is different. It's...ugh!"
"Can we please just finish the game?" Iruka sighed, trying to change the subject. It worked, fairly well. The game resumed. However, it just wasn't quite the same.
Naruto didn't win a single other point (he was still quivering in horror). Also, Iruka kept getting hit with the balls, out of 'distraction.' He didn't let Kakashi rub OR kiss any of them better, though (much as he wanted to).
And finally...Kakashi won by a landslide. At least that wasn't strange, although it did seem to him a very easy victory.
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"Ugh, I'm just glad that's over!" Naruto muttered, wiping the sweat off himself with a towel and watching the players in the court across from theirs (the front walls are see-through, so you can see other games going on). After Kakashi's easy and embarrassing victory, the three had sat down on the bench in front of their racquetball court to rest and prepare to leave.
Naruto stood and sighed. "I'm gonna go get some water, then I'm outta here. Gotta go meet Sasuke tonight." He walked around the corner of the 'racquetball room' and toward the water fountain, wincing at the cheesy '70s music they were playing.
He stooped to drink and winced; the water was lukewarm and tasted of...metal? Eww. This was just not his day.
'Well, at least it's over now. I'm gonna go home, catch a nice dinner with Sasuke, then crash. Well, maybe not crash immediately...Sasuke could always stay the night...'
Naruto's thoughts turned naughtier and he spaced out a little. So, it was because he was slightly distracted that he didn't notice what was wrong immediately.
Beginning to back up his things, he noticed Iruka and Kakashi kissing quietly, and rolled his eyes. The sight, though he would never admit it, was fairly sweet. 'They really should stop kissing in public though; people are staring.'
He zipped up his bag and stood up to face the 'happy couple.'
"Well, as...fun...as that was, I've gotta go now. I'll see you in class, Ka-"
But that was all he could get out. For as he watched the couple kiss, he noticed something slip out from their mouths...something wet..and pink...and...
"UUUUGGGHHHHHH! YOU GUYS ARE USING TONGUE! EWW! Disgusting! Gross! You're making out in PUBLIC!"
Kakashi and Iruka, previously busy eating each other's faces off, whipped around at the obnoxious loud voice. They facefaulted a moment, before trying to shush the loudmouth blonde who was currently attracting more attention than they had been during their little 'make-out session.' (And that was saying something, because two hot guys making out made many, MANY heads turn.)
"Shhhh, Naruto, calm down! Be quiet! SSSHHHH!" Iruka hissed, blushing terribly and trying to calm the boy down (or at the very least, shut him up).
Kakashi did the same, looking almost the slightest bit guilty for traumatizing his student (who was now screaming for someone to 'give him a large pointy object to scrape his eyes out from the horrible scene').
"My god, Naruto, it's not that bad!"
"YES IT ISSSS!" He was close to hyperventilating. Thinking fast, Iruka tried to placate him.
"Shhh, Naruto, we promise we'll never make out in public again-"
Kakashi sent him a look that clearly said 'pfft, yea right.'
"-um, while you're around. Alright, Naruto?"
By this time, Naruto had calmed down a bit, and said with a quiet voice "...Promise?"
"Of course. Right, Kakashi?" Iruka tried to ignore Naruto's nervous-looking twitch his right eye had developed.
"..." Kakashi gave him a bored 'no way' look.
Iruka growled and elbowed Kakashi, shooting him a clear 'you aren't getting any if you don't fix this' look.
Kakashi quickly jumped in. "Yeah, we promise, Naruto." He nodded enthusiastically.
"O-ok. I, um, better g-go now..." Naruto suddenly blushed and ran out of the gym. Kakashi briefly wondered if it was possible to get a 'DWT' - 'driving while traumatized' ticket. He decided you probably couldn't, and dismissed that thought.
"Well, Iruka-love, shall we go and continue where we left off...in privacy, of course?" His embarrassment at the situation had obviously already been forgotten.
"Hmm, well, I suppose we could...but only if I get to be on top.."
Kakashi smirked. "Ohh, my little dolphin is getting kinky, huh? Well, I suppose that can be arranged..."
They left immediately, and we'll just say that they didn't quite make it to the bedroom and leave it at that.
Needless to say, not much more racquetball was played that day, but the janitors of the gym did go on strike because of having to work overtime to clean up all the blood from the massive nosebleeds people had.
And Sasuke never quite understood why it was months before Naruto even looked at his racquet again. Or why his eye wouldn't stop twitching.
Owari
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(1) Haha, can you catch the reference to a different series here? It was a little vague...but you'll be a PRINCE if you get it. -arg, lame!-
(2) -sweatdrop- that's exactly how I play...
Well, I hope you guys liked it. -sigh- Not my best piece, I have to say. I'm not very good at writing action (such as the game going on), and 4:00 in the morning is a bit late to be writing witty dialogue of any sort...
That really did happen to me, though, with my parents. The butt-rubbing, suggestive comment, and the...ugh, the tongue! -shudders- The trauma...I'd be scarred for life if I wasn't already! -wink-
Kakashi says for you to review, please.
Kakashi: ...I do?
Me: Yep.