Night Thoughts

It was two in the morning and Jimmy was still awake. He just couldn't go to sleep. It wasn't like he had to get up the next morning, but still some sleep would have been nice.

How had all this happened? How had his life turned out in such a way he never imagined it would?

He laid on his back staring at the ceiling of the bedroom. He was naked; he'd stopped wearing boxers to bed a long time ago. Male seed was beginning to seep out from his recently used asshole. It'd already formed a small wet spot on the sheets beneath him, and when it was time to get up in the morning said spot would be there times as big. But who gives a fuck?

Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe that's why he couldn't sleep. He'd had three beers and two shots of something strong that evening. His partner Bo had much more than that. Neither of them was old enough to drink but when did that ever stop a teenager.

Bo laid beside Jimmy, who was also in the nude but very much asleep. Bo laid on his right side, snuggled up to Jimmy, his ear lying atop Jimmy's shoulder, his left arm draped across Jimmy's uncovered chest in a way which said to the world- 'Jimmy's mine and I'll protect him from anything'. Jimmy found this comforting in a way he wouldn't of 19 months ago. He felt the same towards Bo, and while he didn't need Bo's protection nor did Bo need his, just the knowledge of it being there was comforting.

Jimmy still wasn't exactly sure how he'd fallen so in love with Bo. It'd been nearly two years since Bo came out to his parents and they'd kicked him out. He hadn't asked, Bo hadn't needed to ask, by that point (three months after the whole cursed incident) Jimmy and Bo were the tightest of friends. Jimmy told Bo that he could live with him and Ellie, and of course Ellie had agreed (she loved the fact that Jimmy had a friend). Jimmy and Ellie sat Bo up in what had been their parent's room which they'd been using only for storage.

Jimmy felt that first sign that there was something there when Bo got his first boyfriend a few weeks after he'd moved in. Jimmy couldn't remember the guys name, he was from some other school, but mainly all Jimmy remembered was the silent jealousy (a jealousy he failed to understand at the time) he felt. But there was also hatred towards this guy which he'd never known. This guy wasn't good enough for his Bo. Jimmy was ecstatic when they broke it off a week and a half later, while at the same time he tried to console Bo who had foolishly thought that there was something there.

Bo's second boyfriend, a college jock named Scott, Jimmy found himself liking even less. Jimmy felt contempt towards the jock, which he was right in feeling. Then there were still the feelings of hate and jealousy which confused him so.

Scott and Bo only lasted a month, but in that short time Bo had fallen head-over-heels for the guy. It ended when Bo caught Scott fucking some other college guy. That night Bo had come home and hadn't said a word. Jimmy and Bo just sat on the couch and watched TV and it wasn't long before it happened. Bo broke into tears which broke into sobs. It had taken Jimmy by shock, and in that instant he felt like his own heart had broken also. He grabbed Bo and held him to his chest, trying to comfort him. The sobbing went on for nearly an half hour in which Jimmy didn't say a word; he just held Bo and it felt natural, not awkward at all like he thought it should have been. That was the first and only time he saw Bo cry. It'd taken Jimmy by surprise, and Jimmy still didn't quite understand. Bo fought. When Bo got upset he got pissed, he punched walls (just ask the kitchen wall which still needed to be fixed), he kicked at the air, anything along that line but he never cried. So why didn't he punch that cheating jerk's headlights out like he normally would have? Jimmy couldn't understand. So the next morning he went to Scott's dorm room and punched the guy squarely in the face. Jimmy ended up getting a black eye for it (not to mention bruised and broken fingers from the impact) and then thrown in jail for assault, but it was worth it. The sleezeball also ended up in jail, but his was for assault against a minor.

A month or so passed. It was a Saturday afternoon and they'd gone to the theater to see the new Wolfman film. The two of them climbed into the car afterwards and before Bo could start the engine, Jimmy leaned over and kissed Bo on the lips. He wasn't sure at the time why he'd done it, he just had; he'd acted on instinct.

When Jimmy finally pulled away they both sat there in silence until Bo asked what that was about. Jimmy hadn't a clue as to how to answer the question. Instead he found his lips back against Bo's, and they made out there in the front of the car for the next hour.

Bo mumbled something incomprehensible in his sleep. No matter what, Bo was Jimmy's and Jimmy was Bo's.

Jimmy shifted just the tiniest of bit and reached down beneath the red sheets which covered their lower halves. He gently cuffed Bo's limp dick and balls in his hand. His own limp cock raised some. Who would have ever guessed another dude's dick could get him turned on. Growing up he never would have imagine another man's lips would satisfy him so and make him beg for more. Nor would he have dreamed he'd touch and grope a dick of another guys and enjoy it. Just two years ago he would have found such a thing a turn off, and yet today it was erotic.

Jimmy's hand tightened just ever so slightly more around his lover's manhood. Jimmy wasn't positive he was gay. Actually he still wasn't even sure if he was gay. But then he wasn't exactly positive he was bi either. He had to be one of the two, gay or bi, for sleeping with someone of the same gender and package as you definitely doesn't make you straight. But then did it really mater which he was? The truth was he didn't care. Heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, transsexual, gay, straight, bi; they were all just labels, words without any meanings. Love was a true word. Love was a word with absolute meaning. It wasn't a word to divide people up into imaginary groups society created. Love was pure and unexplainable. And love is what Jimmy felt. He loved Bo period. Maybe a year or two more down the road that would change, or maybe it wouldn't, but on that night, at that moment he loved Bo and that was all that mattered.

"We can go at it again in the morning" came the drowse voice of Bo. Bo shifted himself so that his arm propped his torso up at an angle allowing him to look down at Jimmy and into his eyes. Jimmy grasped what his partner said and removed his hand from Bo's privates. A slight smile crossed his lips just for a second. Bo leaned down and kissed those lips. Bo then shifted again, and laid down his head, letting his ear rest on Jimmy's right breast, while the rest of Bo laid spread out across Jimmy. Bo had instantly returned to his slumber.

Jimmy ran his hand up and down his naked boyfriend's sweaty back a few times before finally falling asleep himself.