The Ultimate Crossover
I do not own Star Wars or Star Trek or Pokemon or Disney or Halo or Microsoft or Bill Gates.
(Do not worry the author has not had a lot of what you think he has had)
In the near future and in our galaxy, very close nearby.
The peaceful planet of Naboo, in one of the main corridors leading to the throne room, in the large palace waited a printer. Yes, I know what your thinking, a printer what the hell is a printer doing there? Wait and see. It just sat on the ground in the middle of nowhere. No people walked through the palace's corridors anymore because the formation of the galactic empire. Suddenly a bright flash of light and Jedi appeared all of whom looked confused, even Yoda was bewildered,
"Different place we are!" he said, in his usual backwards speech.
The droids' heads were scanning the area, "Where are we?"
The other bots replied' "Rodger", then, "Rodger" again, "Rodger!" and this kept repeating until the whole droid army had responded.
The many forms of Obi-Won Kenobi were greeting each other and Darth Vader was attempting to persuade his innocent childhood form to go to the dark side. Mace Windu was confused, 'Why is there only three of me and six of Yoda and Obi-Won'.
A bright flash signalled the arrival of another group of people at the other side of the room. "This is highly illogical captain" Mr. Spock said in his usual dreary voice. The captain looked blank for a moment then remembered, "Set your phasers to stun"
The Jedi took out their light-sabres; the light-sabres from the sequels came out more slowly than the others. The two halves of Darth Maul waddled and walked to the front of the Star Wars group. Each group looked at each, other some with hate; others including Chekhov and a female Jedi looked at each other in love, AWWWW.
The printer in the middle of the room began to shake and levitated up off the floor, "(stupid sounding laugh) MMuuwwhhawawa! I am the evil printer, an incarnation of Bill Gates and I have brought you here for one purpose, TO ELIMINATE COMPETITION!"
An Xbox appeared out of nowhere and the printer glided on top of it. The printer began to print pictures of Halo commandoes on to paper. When around a hundred pages had accumulated and half the droid army were playing poker, the commandoes jumped out of the pictures and became real. "Surrender and/or die" cried the printer. The Jedi raised the light-sabres, "Defeat dark side of computer, we will" said Yoda.
Another bright flash and Mickey Mouse appeared, "Huh ha Hey Folks!"
Another flash and the rest of the Disney characters were there.
The evil printer printed a smile, "You shall all die!"
"Hey, not in front of the kids" Mickey screamed, "Attack!"
This provoked another flash, 'What now? Barney the Dinosaur', thought Darth Vader; he turned round to see a pregnant Padmae looking scornfully at him.
"You've ruined my life and our kids' lives, right, I want a divorce!"
Vader stammered, "Bbbbbuut Paddmae please I only tried to help you!"
"I've had enough of your excuses", Padmae stomped off with one of her elaborate dresses flowing behind her.
"Where are we, Pikachu?" Ash asked he yellow friend
"Pika, pikachu!" came the reply.
I front of him he saw a weird group of people with glowing sticks and the other side of him he saw another weird group of people carrying b-movie guns. At the other side of the room he saw, a mouse, a duck another mouse, a dog, another duck and then a few hundred people behind them. But staring right at him was a group of solders with weird looking guns.
Ash turned his cap round, "Charzard Go!" and threw a ball that was half red and half white.
A red and orange dragon popped out of the ball and growled.
The printer was getting impatient, "Blue squad attack left! Red Squad, right, White squad attack the mouse and Green squad attack the dragon.
The Jedi came at full force against the blue team while Darth Maul's legs kept kicking them in the shins and his torso using his double light-sabre to chop off their feet. One commando tried his best to kill Qui-Gon Jin with a plasma rifle but the shots just passed through the hole in Qui-Gon that Darth Maul had put there, the blue commando soon found he had no feet and fell.
The other side the room was doing better as many of the commandoes would come near the droning voice of the Vulcan. One red Commando decided he didn't like war and sat down, took off his helmet and listened to his iPod. The team leader took two plasma rifles in an attempt to shoot the enemy in a cool way; sadly he was shot trying to take aim by an extremely angry Chekhov who just wanted to get to the other side of the room to his Jedi girlfriend.
Mickey Mouse and the Disney characters were having a great time, Zeus was zapping every white commando in sight while Jack Sparrow went trigger happy and shot many of the Disney characters around him. Then the team leader turned on his radio, even though he was in earshot of the printer, "We need backup, a warthog or ghost sir!" You would usually expect, if you've played Halo (it's 16+), that a gun-car would come or some sort of flying ship but of course you see this is the ultimate crossover were things happen that shouldn't and things that are very unfair. So instead of a space age armoured vehicle, out of nowhere, appeared a large boar and teenage ghost who only saw misery and despair. Both of these things were as useful as a chocolate fireguard. One commando saw no point in winning and got a BBQ t-shirt out of his pocket and started to chase after the boar while another listened to the teenager and then shot himself.
Chazard burnt five commandoes and bit the heads off two others then sat down and refused to listen to Ash, Charzard was then shot a couple of times and keeled over and died. Pikachu attempted to jump and shock the rest of the squad but was shot repeatedly with a needler gun (a knitting needle crossed with a machine gun).
Five minutes had past until a delicious bacon aroma filled the room and the white commando with a BBQ t-shirt was handing out free BBQ bacon. Halo commando bodies littered the floor and fortunately some of the Disney characters died.
Suddenly a bright flash came (again), and the printer disappeared but his voice still rang out through the corridor, "I have become one with the force! Muwhhaaha!"
Dr. Spock said, "And?"
The printer hesitated, "Um…eh…oh!"
Everybody left in time and the printer is still there today, even though this story happened in the future, trying to convince himself he still exists.
THE END