Prologue

Scanning the crowd for a raven haired man seemed to get harder every day.
Elena sat on a park bench facing the city, the wind playing with her long curls. People were laughing, walking down the street with their friends, making the minutes count, while she just sat there, wasting away the supposed best years of her life.
At the age of 31, she knew those moments of carefree freedom were long lost to her.
She let her eyes travel from person to person, disappointment washing over her in all-too familiar waves.
He was not there and he would not be coming back.
She knew that. She knew that for years, but looked for him nevertheless.
She looked for him every day.

The sun was shining brighter, she realized. It was warmer, too. Almost May. Almost the day she met him.
She loved Barcelona at this time of the day. The air smelled like nothing she'd ever breathed before, so sweet, so different than the dusty smelly bars they had walked through together.
"Elena" a voice called behind her.
She slowly turned around and smiled. She saw Amy, her brother's daughter that's been living with her for a while now.
Ever since her brother's death.
She took in her appearence as she got closer.
The same smile and dark eyes.
Jeremy's smile, the one that's been breaking her heart since she first smiled at her, relieved to see her aunt after the social workers questioned her for hours.
The same dark eyes that've been staring back at her every time she looked in the mirror.
The similitaries with her family ended there, but it was enough to remind her of all she's lost.
Amy sat down beside her and kissed her cheek. "Guess what," she said.
"What?"
"Oh, come on, you've gotta guess," she pouted.
"Alright, then. You managed to make yourself breakfast and not burn down the kitchen?" she asked, teasing her.
"Hey, that was one time!"
"Whatever, A. What have you been up to?"
Amy dug into her purse, taking out a sheet of hard paper and holding it in front of her face.
She recognized it immediately.
A one way ticket to New York.
Amy was leaving.
She looked up to her, hoping her eyes held nothing but pride.
"April 29th, huh?"
"Yes," Amy was almost jumping from glee.
"Don't pee your pants from all the excitment, please " she said jokingly.
"Don't worry. I'm meeting Paolo later, I'm wearing a skirt." she got the witty comebacks from her and sometimes it came all the way around to bite her in the ass. Like now.
"Ugh, I so DIDN'T need to hear that."
"Don't be such a prude, El. I heard the stories of you and Matt. I had nightmares for years."
She rolled her eyes. Life would be much easier if this was true. Unfortunately, there weren't any stories to tell.
"Packed your bags yet?" she asked.
"Nope. I ran here to show you."
"Oh why thank you. I've never seen a ticket in my life."
"Do you always have to be like this?" Amy asked annoyed.
"So damn perfect, you mean?"
If looks could kill, she'd be long dead by now.
She sighed "You know I'm happy for you, A. And so pround."
Amy quickly hugged her and jumped from her seat.
"Gotta run. Paolo's waiting. Bye, Elena!" And she was gone.
The kid's got admitted to NYU. She was flying back to the US, to spend some time with her mother.
Elena wasn't particulary happy about that fact, but supported her decision, anyway.
She would miss her, though. A lot.

It was time for lunch. Restaurants were filled with people and tourists, laughing and eating the Spanish food she never particularly liked.
Looking around, he was still not there.
No piercing blue eyes that cut straight through her soul.
Or face, more beautiful than anything she'd ever seen in her life.
A face she didn't remember that well anymore.
At first, she could see him, clear as a day, everytime she closed her eyes.
But then the time worked its magic and blurred the memory of him.
She tried to hold onto it with all she had, but she was helpless against a process she couldn't affect.
And she didn't even have a photograph.
Despite it all, she still believed she'd recognize him, no matter what.
She might not remember the exact color of his eyes, but she remembered his spirit, knew the energy flowing around him.
She knew it, because it was part of her, too.
God, she missed him. A little too much and a little bit more everyday.
And it wasn't fair. Not to her husband, the one she was mentaly cheating on for so long.
And definitely not to her, either.
One day, years ago, she told him, she'd lie for him in a heartbeat. She didn't know back then, how true that statement would ring after all this time.

He was her dirty little secret.
It used to make her so mad she wanted to scream his name at the top of her lungs, every day, always.
She kept her mouth shut.
No one ever knew.
She never told a single soul where she had been when she disappeared for six months.
No one ever knew that she met a guy and that he irrevocably changed her, forever.

She was 24 when they met. 24 and lost in every way a person can be lost.
Freshly out of school and broke, she was pretty fed up with life as she knew it. She was bored and in desperate need of an adventure, or a friend.
So she took a bus to Downtown Atlanta and found both.