This story is based on something embarrassing that happened to me. Unfortunately, there was no Ranger to save me, but my sister did and we laughed and laughed about it. So, I challenge you all to write a Plum story about something embarrassing that happened to you, or you can use my incident as inspiration.

Just a short, fluffy, Babe one-shot that's pretty random. Hope this at least makes some of you smile.

Warnings: Language, and it may give you a toothache. JE owns the characters and books. All mistakes are my own.

The Spa Bath

SPOV

I rolled over and tried to burrow back down into my bed, but something was urging me wide awake.

With a sigh I sat up and ran my hand through my wild hair, trying to figure out what the hell had me so buzzed at… two am in the morning. Great.

I pushed back the covers on my bed, planning to take a trip to the bathroom when I heard the front door of my apartment click shut and a tingle race down my spine.

Ranger? Since when does Ranger let any door audibly click?

"Freeze!"

I dropped my chin down on my chest and groaned. That was why Ranger let the door click, Morelli's car was down in my parking lot.

"Put the gun down, Morelli," Ranger said calmly and quietly.

I sighed again and trudged out into my living room.

"Fucking Mañoso, what the fuck are you doing here?" Morelli growled.

I hit the lights and stared at the two men, arms folded across my chest. They both had their guns trained on the other unblinkingly.

I ran my eyes over Ranger. He'd been in the wind the past four months. This was the first time I'd seen him since he'd gotten back last week. He looked good; clean shaved, hair short, body a little thinner, but otherwise delicious in black jeans and a black button down. He must of just finished work – maybe a distraction job, dressed like that? Or he could have had a date, a small voice whispered in the back of my mind. What was he doing at my place afterward, then?

I could feel Ranger's eyes run over me, then Morelli. He was assessing us, no doubt trying to figure out why Joe was sleeping on the couch.

I pushed off of the wall where I was leaning and strolled in between the two men, putting myself in Ranger's personal space.

"Jesus, Cupcake! You even sleep in his shit?" Morelli spat as I pushed Ranger's gun down slowly and turned so my back was against his chest.

"Joe, you're wearing Trenton PD basketball shorts. I can't wear an old Rangeman shirt?" I wondered, raising my eyebrows as he kept his gun high for a beat longer than necessary.

He rolled his eyes and tucked his gun into his waistband, placing his hands on his hips. I took a step away from Ranger and turned so I was facing both of them.

"You," I pointed at Morelli, "sit there," I motioned to the couch. "And you," I turned to Ranger, "sit there," indicating my sofa chair.

Neither man moved. Ranger just folded his arms tightly across his chest. And what a damn fine chest it was too.

I threw my hands up in the air and marched back into Ranger's personal space. I knew if he sat, Morelli was more likely to. I raised my gaze to meet his and cocked an eyebrow before reaching up and gently pushing on his chest. I knew there was no way in hell I'd actually shift him on my own accord; he'd actually need to decide he wanted to move.

He did.

He eased back and dropped down into the chair, his eyes never leaving mine. Oh boy, was it warm in here?

I slowly turned back to face Morelli. He scowled but threw himself down on the couch.

"Okay, progress," I muttered before clearing my voice. "Did you want me for something, Ranger?"

His eyes travelled over my face, down my body, over to Morelli, and then back again – all very slowly. Damn, he could heat me with one look. But I got the message. Unfortunately, there wasn't really anywhere in the apartment I could ask Morelli to go that he wouldn't overhear us anyway. I gave a half shrug and Ranger smiled very slightly.

"I need you to come with me, Steph," he said quietly.

I took that in, processed it. It could mean any number of things. Most likely it revolved around a distraction job that he didn't want to go into details about with Morelli around. Fair enough.

"Okay. I'll just get changed and grabbed my purse. Dress?" I wondered, my mind already going through my wardrobe. Just what did one wear to a two am distraction? The sluttier the better probably. What type of target was it?

"Just casual, Babe. Throw some jeans on," Ranger suggested.

"Cupcake, you're not going with him!" Morelli growled, jumping to his feet.

I froze on my way to the bedroom and turned back into the room. Ranger was slowly getting to his feet.

"Excuse me?" I said quietly.

"He just waltzes in hear in the middle of the night, says he needs you, explains nothing, and you fucking jump to help him! You're not going!"

I just blinked at Morelli for a few beats, feeling my temper churn. I took a few deliberate steps toward him. Damn did I want to punch him in the face right now.

"You have no say over what I can and can't do any more Joe. None. Don't try this bullshit with me. It's not going to work," I said softly, channelling my inner Ranger and resisting the urge to poke Morelli in the chest a few times… or worse.

"Ranger, with me?" I requested, because God knows you don't order Ranger to do anything. It was safer having them separated then leaving them alone in the same room together for five minutes.

I waited patiently to see what Ranger would decide. He strode away from his chair unhurriedly and passed by me on his way to my bedroom, acting completely unconcerned about the stewing Morelli. He couldn't fool me though; he was ready to react in an instant if Morelli made a move.

I shut the bedroom door closed behind me, flicked the light on, and winced as I heard Joe break what sounded like my table lamp.

Ranger was standing in the middle of my bedroom, arms refolded back across his chest, but this time it wasn't threatening, so much as a relaxed stance.

I moved around my room quickly, pulling out a bra from my drawers and jeans from my closest. Keeping my back to Ranger, I yanked the jeans on, removed my shirt, fastened my bra and pulled my shirt back down. I ran my brush through my hair as best as I could, spritzed on some perfume and collected my phone from my side table, and my little Beretta Cougar from under the mattress.

"Make-up?" I wondered, scanning my room to see if I needed anything else. My pocket book was still in the kitchen where I'd dumped it when I came home.

"You're good, Babe," Ranger stepped forward, placed a hand on my lower back and propelled me out of the bedroom and past a practically steaming Morelli.

Ranger paused in the kitchen long enough for me to snag my bag, and then I was quickly manoeuvred outside, only just managing to yell a, "Lock up when you leave!" over my shoulder to Morelli. Sometimes it was a good thing all my neighbours took their hearing aids out a night.

We took the stairs down to the parking lot and Ranger's car. I had to stop and stare at it. Oh it was, as usual, a Porsche, but I'd never seen anything like it before. It was a sleek, sexy, powerful sports car that looked like it was made for speed. And of course, it was black.

"What it that?" I asked, slightly awed. I bet I'd never ridden in a car so expensive before, or ever would again. Particularly knowing my track record; I hoped this car lasted longer than some of his others I'd been in.

"It's a car, Babe." Ranger humour. I rolled my eyes.

I shook my head at him as he helped me into my seat and buckled me in, his hands lingering as he did so. I raised my gaze to his, questioning. He smiled, shook his own head slightly and closed me inside.

He climbed behind the wheel fluidly and breathed life into the car. Even I could appreciate the purring sound the car made.

"Seriously, Ranger. What is this, how much did it cost, and are you sure you want to risk it by letting me ride in it?"

"Babe. Just a Porsche."

"Don't treat me like an idiot."

"Steph," he paused and glanced at me with soft eyes. He hadn't meant to insult me. Forgiven, my soft smile back said. "It's called a Spyder, Babe."

"And?"

"And I don't really think you want to know what it retails for," he finished with a full wattage grin.

Oh boy. That made me nervous. That probably meant it cost more than I could make… ever.

Ranger pulled out onto the road. His foot barely touched the accelerator but we flew forward, down the quiet streets.

When we passed the turnoff for Rangeman, I started wondering where we were going. If I was supposed to be doing a distraction, I wouldn't be very effective dressed like this. But then again, if Ranger wanted me to know where we were going, he would have told me.

"Morelli was on you couch, Babe." I jolted when he spoke. Ranger was never first to break the silence.

"Yep." I glanced over at him out of the corner of my eye.

He kept his face towards the road, but I could have sworn I saw him roll his eyes.

"Why?"

Interesting. Why was he so curious?

"We broke up."

He nodded slightly, shifted gears and lapsed back into silence. I'm not gonna lie, I was disappointed he didn't push further.

I watched as the city of Trenton passed us by as we headed north.

"When?"

I turned to face Ranger again. He'd been silent a good ten minutes. Had he been thinking about it the whole time?

"Back in September… I guess that makes it about seven months ago."

Ranger paused for a few long moments.

"What was he doing in your apartment, then?"

"His house is getting fumigated. His brother Seppie and family are staying with his mother at the moment, his girlfriend's kid has food poisoning and didn't want him stirring things up and Mooch met some new woman and didn't want Joe cramping his style."

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah, Sarah, she's nice. She's a dentist - mostly a steady nine to five job. Her son is six and a real cutie."

"You okay with that, Babe?"

I snorted. "Oh yeah. I hope they get married soon so my mother will finally leave me alone with all the, 'Morelli is your last hope', crap."

"And you, Babe?"

"What about me?"

His hands tightened slightly on the steering wheel. "You have someone special?"

I paused and watched him for a moment. This was the most interest he'd taken in my love life… probably ever. I got a clever idea. I should have known better.

"Yeah, I have someone special. He's unavailable though, indefinitely."

His hands tightened so much his knuckles turned white. "If he deserved you, Babe, he'd make himself available."

"I keep hoping," I muttered, shaking my head as I turned back to face my window.

"Where'd you meet?"

Man, he just was not putting two and two together today. And why was he so curious? Was it just because the guy was an unknown and could be a potential threat to my safety and in turn his, or was it something more?

"In a diner," I quipped.

"Being short on details today, Babe."

"He taught me how to be a bounty hunter," I added softly, watching his body freeze. Now he got it.

"Babe."

"Don't worry, Ranger. I know where we stand, I was just teasing you. That was practically the most talkative you've ever been. I just wondered how long I could keep you talking."

"Steph – "

"Seriously Ranger, you don't have to explain anything to me. I'm sorry I mentioned it,"

I was mentally kicking myself. I should have known better than to try and tease him; it just ended up hurting me.

Ranger remained silent after that and I eventually drifted asleep.

#_S*R_#

"Babe, wake up."

"Tired," I mumbled, burrowing into the softness under my head.

A warm masculine chuckle greeted me as a hand gently ran over my hair.

"Stephanie."

I pulled myself out of what was a deep sleep and sat up slowly. Ranger was hunched down outside my car door and my head had been resting on his chest. Great, I hope I hadn't drooled on him.

"C'mon, Babe. Let's get you upstairs."

Ranger unbuckled my seatbelt before helping me out of the car, a strong arm wrapped tightly around my waist. It was nearing dawn as I glanced up at the beautiful old building in front of us; it screamed old money and I wondered what we were doing there.

Ranger guided me through a pair of enormous white French glass doors and into what appeared to be a very subtle but elegant lobby. Polished marble floors, warm soft lighting from a number of small chandeliers, and comfortable sitting areas were arranged around the large room making it feel inviting. What were we doing in a hotel? A fancy hotel at that? One I was in no way, shape or form dressed for. I wasn't even wearing any mascara!

"Good Morning, Mr Mañoso. Is there anything I can get for you?" a smartly dressed woman asked politely, her eyes trained professionally on Ranger's face. I watched her carefully – no sweating, no heavy breathing, no nervous giggling. Wow, impressive. A woman who can act professional and actually resist all of Ranger's charm.

"No thankyou, Alexa."

"And you, Ms Plum?"

"Huh?" I said eloquently.

"Is there anything you need?"

I studied her for a beat; same polite manner, same professional approach. There was absolutely zero judgement in her eyes. Amazing. Of course, Ranger would never settle for less than the best if he didn't have to. But, how did she know my name?

"No thanks, I'm good," I said, laughing a little nervously.

Boy was I way out of my comfort zone; this place was the most expensive hotel I'd ever been in, hands down.

"Your bags will be waiting in your apartment, Mr Mañoso. If there is anything you require, someone will be happy to assist you. I hope you and your fiancée will be satisfied." Alexa did a small half bow and turned, moving off gracefully no doubt to attend to one of her duties.

Fiancée? Maybe that was part of our cover? What the hell was going on? Were we on a job? Why didn't he give me a heads up in the car? Probably because you were asleep, Plum. Oh. Right.

Ranger squeezed my hip gently and pressed us forward to the area housing two elevators. There was one already waiting for us. Damn.

Once we entered, Ranger waved a fob along the panel and hit the button for the top floor. Yep, really, really expensive.

When we reached the twelfth floor, the elevator opened into a small hallway, the décor similar to that of the lobby area. Ranger moved down the hall with me to the second door of the only two on the entire floor.

He entered in a key code into the lock and pressed his thumb against a scanner. The door released and he moved in ahead of me, checking for danger, even here. Wherever here was.

The apartment was large and spacious; the rooms I could see were beautiful but masculine in their decor, and the views gorgeous. Everything still screamed expensive, but it also felt comfortable.

"Where are we?" I inquired, wandering around the open kitchen, dining and living room. There was a wide hallway off to the left of the living room, and another one off to the right. I estimated it was probably a two or three bedroom apartment.

"Rye, New York. Up in Westchester County." Ranger's hand settled on the small of my back after he locked us inside. He propelled me forward, towards the left hallway and down to the open door at the end.

"Okay, good to know the geographics, but where are we?" I wondered, blinking a few times as we entered what had to be the master bedroom. There was a suitcase on the ground on either side of the bed, the duvet was turned down and the table lamps burned low. The king sized bed looked ridiculously inviting. There was a large walk in wardrobe, a door that led to what looked like an enormous bathroom, and a few select pieces of furniture.

"You don't miss much, Babe."

I turned back to face him, curious now. "Ranger?"

"We're in an exclusive, boutique hotel, Babe." I'd kind of already figured that much out for myself.

I swept my eyes around the room again, noting the personal details, the photos and other small mementos of someone's life. Of his life. "I feel like there's more to it than that," I pushed gently.

"I own sixty percent of it." Again, nothing surprising.

"And?" I asked once more.

"And I own this apartment, Babe. It's not part of the hotel," he admitted softly, confirming my suspicions.

This was his space – his personal space. Why would we be on a job here? "So, what are we doing here?"

Ranger moved around the room, shutting the door, flicking off all but one of the lights, pulling the duvet down on the bed further, closing the thick curtains, fiddling with the air conditioning all as I watched on. "Sleeping."

I blinked at him slowly. "You brought me all the way up to Westchester County to sleep? Something we could have done just as well in my apartment, or yours, in Trenton."

He paused in his movements, coming over to me to rest his hands lightly on my hips. "We'll talk in the morning, Babe. Let's just get some sleep."

He really wanted to sleep? Surely it was about the time he normally got up each morning? Was he sick? Had something happened? What the hell were we really doing here? What did he want to talk about later?

"Is something wrong?"

"No, Babe."

I watched as he stripped down to his skin, stowing one of his guns on the bedside table and the other under his side of the mattress. He moved over to his suitcase, rummaging through it until he came out with a pair of black silk boxers which I'm sure were only for my benefit.

"Gonna sleep in your jeans, Babe?"

"Huh? Oh. No," I muttered, wiggling out of my jeans and removing my bra. I slid under the comforter on my side and snuggled in, my eyes watching Ranger as he flicked off the light and climbed in beside me.

"Are you sure nothing's wrong?" I whispered into the darkness even as his arms surrounded me and dragged me into the warmth of his body.

His lips brushed across my forehead as he settled me against his side. "Just tired, Babe. Sleep."

"Okay," I whispered again.

*R&S*

I stirred slowly, trying to figure out what had woken me. Stretching, I rolled over onto my back and shrieked as I opened my eyes. Ranger was bent over me and he was smiling. Smiling.

"Morning, Babe."

"Jesus, Ranger. Give a girl a heart attack why don't you?"

"Sorry, Babe."

"What time is it?" I wondered as I yawned and sat up.

His hand cupped my face gently and before I knew what was happening, he'd kissed me a slow and very thorough good morning.

"About eleven, Babe."

"Eleven!" Holy cow; he'd let me sleep in to eleven, in the morning? I ran my eyes over him and noted he still only wore his black silk boxers. Meaning he'd not gone for his morning run, meaning he might have literally just gotten out of bed himself! "Do you have a fever?"

"Cute," he said with a smirk, scooping me up off the bed and into his arms.

"Seriously, Ranger. Eleven am?"

"I've been up for about an hour, Babe."

"You – ten am? You must be sick."

"Was just tired, Babe. Had a long day yesterday."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Later."

Ranger deposited me on my feet in his large bathroom. I blinked at the bubble filled spa bath with steam slowly rising off of it and the handful of lit scented candles that were placed around the room.

"Okay. What's going on?" I asked slowly, turning to face him.

He just gave me a mysterious smile and placing a hand on either side of my hips, slowly walked me further backwards into the room.

"Want you to relax while we're waiting for breakfast to come up," he stated simply, stopping when I was about a foot away from the spa.

"Breakfast?" I grinned.

Ranger let me go and took a step back. "Enjoy, Babe."

I frowned at him as he turned, my gaze going around the room again. It was all kind of… romantic. But Ranger didn't do romantic. What the hell was going on? "Ranger?"

The door had already clicked shut but I smiled when I heard his whispered, "Just relax."

I suppose he'll tell me about all this sooner or later. Ranger didn't do anything without a reason, or without a plan.

I sighed and peeled off my clothes before climbing into the large spa bath. The temperature was pure perfection and the bubbles were perfumed and smelled delightful. Ranger had even thought to roll up a towel for my head to rest on.

I let my body go lax and just enjoyed myself for a few moments before deciding to activate the jets.

I turned around and hit the go button before settling back down as the tub rumbled on. I shrieked as water suddenly spurted everywhere, the nozzles shooting water and bubbles straight out of the tub and across the room, but more pressingly, two were shooting high pressured water and soapy bubbles right in my face.

I held my hands up, trying to combat the flow and using my feet to try and push the bottom nozzles down with little luck. I couldn't see anything, couldn't find the off switch; I was panicking.

"Babe. Babe!" Ranger shouted over my shrieking before everything went silent and the water stopped gushing.

I shook my now wet hair out of my face and tried to brush the bubbles away from my eyes before opening them.

Ranger stood beside the tub, soaking wet and looking stunned. I glanced around the room and cringed. Soap and water had sprayed all over the ceiling, the walls, and the floor. Everything was soaked and all the candles were extinguished.

"Um, oops?" I tried, hesitantly glancing back at Ranger, my face red with embarrassment.

He was shaking and just as I was getting concerned over how angry he might be, he burst into laughter. Loud, hysterical, bent over at the waist laughter.

I looked around the room again and couldn't help laughing myself.

"This wasn't my fault," I tried again as Ranger stopped laughing and caught his breath, a thousand watt grin shining on his face.

"Babe." He bent over me and fiddled with the controls of the tub. "You had it set to maximum," he explained, turning the tub on again. This time, the water gently frothed and thankfully stayed inside the tub.

"I'm sorry, I must have bumped it up when I hit the on button."

"No matter, Babe. You keep trying to relax; I'll get some more towels and the mop."

He pressed a kiss to my forehead and sloshed out of the room, chuckling to himself.

I didn't think I could relax after that; it had kind of ruined my relaxed mood. After all, adrenaline pumping through you system generally did put you on edge – my heart was still racing.

Ranger came back in with an armful of towels and dropped them on the ground, containing the small flood to the bathroom. He then got a mop and bucket and set to work efficiently and quickly cleaning up my mess.

I offered to help and was ordered to, 'Relax, Babe!'

I watched him in his boxers that were now moulded to his skin and felt myself getting the opposite of relaxed. I squirmed around and tried to get comfortable, and drag my eyes off of Ranger's fine body, but it was no use.

"Can you hand me a towel please, Ranger?" I said, finally giving up on relaxing about five minutes later.

He turned to me with a large grin and glanced down at the now bubble-less water. "You trying to protect your modesty, Babe?" he wondered with a chuckle, holding out a large fluffy, dry, towel for me to step into.

He wrapped me up and held me against his chest, still smiling slightly.

"No, I just didn't want to get cold," I muttered.

"Babe." He ducked down a little and sealed my lips with his, giving me a kiss that warmed me up all over. "Go get dressed in something comfy, Babe. I'll be out in a minute." He gave me another soft kiss and gently pushed me out of the bathroom.

I brought my fingers up to my lips and glanced back at him once before shaking my head and making my way back into the master bedroom. When I got there, I found my suitcase (that Ranger had somehow managed to pack for me?) had been emptied and everything was put away in the large walk in wardrobe.

I shook my head in disbelief at him again and pulled on a pair of pyjama shorts and one of his sweatshirts.

When I emerged from the bedroom, Ranger had a towel wrapped around his waist and was tipping the young man who had delivered our brunch in the dining room. When the apartment door closed shut behind the server, Ranger pulled out a chair and held his hand out towards me.

I slowly wandered over to him, and was rewarded by being pulled into his personal space and kissed tenderly once again.

He helped me sit down, his hand running along my shoulders as he moved around the table.

"That my shirt, Babe?"

"Yep," I answered shamelessly. What, he'd told me to get comfy?!

"Looks good." His dark eyes flashed and made me think he'd like it even better if it was on the ground.

I sat in my chair, watching as Ranger uncovered a smorgasbord of delicious breakfast dishes. He took a seat right beside me and started serving me some of everything, even the things that looked not so healthy. I nearly fell off my chair when he started doing the same to his plate. He even dished himself up some bacon. That still had the fat on!

We were about three quarters of the way through brunch. I kept nervously watching this new version of Ranger. The candle lighting, bubble bath filling, bacon eating Ranger. Who knew what he'd do next?

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on?" I finally got the courage up to ask. Not to mention why he was acting so… romantic?

He put his cutlery down and pushed his plate away, taking my hand in one of his and giving it a squeeze. The look he gave me was soft and warm, making me shiver. I pushed my own plate away, no longer hungry for food but definitely hungry for any information he was willing to share.

"Steph, the mission I just came back from was my last. I spent over sixteen hours in DC yesterday Babe, finalizing paperwork, getting debriefed so I could finally be discharged from the Army and officially released from my contracts. I drove back late last night straight to your apartment," he said seriously.

I stared at him intensely as he stared directly back at me with a look I couldn't describe. Hunger, maybe? Need? But for what? I couldn't get a read on him. Was he disappointed his contract hadn't been renewed or was he happy to finally be free? Why did he drive straight to my place?

"And… are you happy?" I asked slowly.

His eyes narrowed and a small smile played across his lips. "Babe, you have no idea."

"Okay, so what are we doing here exactly?"

"Celebrating. Relaxing."

"Celebrating?" He wanted me with him to celebrate the end of his contract? Wouldn't he rather go out and have a few drinks with the guys and reminisce about the good old days? And since when does Ranger ever relax?

"Yeah, Babe. Celebrating the start of our someday."

I sucked in a deep breath and my heart started pounding in my chest. What did he just say? "What?" I whispered hoarsely.

"It won't be easy, Babe. I've made a lot of enemies; my life will still be dangerous. I've taken as many precautions as I can to keep us separated from that part of my life but there are no guarantees. I want you at my side for the rest of my life, however long that may be."

I could feel my eyes watering as I started at him in disbelief. "Really?"

"I love you, Babe."

I threw myself into his arms, nearly toppling his chair over in the process.

I buried my face in his neck, trying to hide my tears from him. "Oh I love you, too, Ranger," I murmured quietly against his skin.

Ranger wasted no time in sweeping me up into his arms and carrying me back to the master bedroom. It was many, many hours before we emerged again. And when we did, I was sporting a shiny diamond and sapphire ring, a smile and not much else.

And they lived happily ever after, laughing, arguing, making love and turning the world into a better place, one captured skip at a time.

The End.

So in case any of you didn't figure it out, my embarrassing incident was in the spa bath. I was at a hotel, relaxing, turned on the spa not realizing the dial had broken off at 'maximum' and water shot out everywhere. My sister walked in and just started laughing at me. It took ages to clean up all the water and then all the towels were wet :(. Lucky we had a dryer!