Dear Listener

by Spread-Some-Love-In-My-Stead

Legends are stories, dear, and stories aren't the truth. Stories make things comprehensible by cutting out what doesn't fit. But I knew the man, honey, and the things the bards trimmed because they weren't noble, or beautiful, or even worthy of note. However, I have a bar to run, so ask Charlo if you want the "Legend of the Hero"... If you're here for the truth, pull up a chair.

1. Take It Or Leave It

"But I wanted you to know, I did save you..."

- Jane Espenson

I have to admit, I suck at story telling. How should you start? "Once upon a time..."? "On a dark and stormy night...?" I don't know.

I was there for the big finale. Out on Eldin Field, it was. Saw Ganondorf on his big black stallion, Link and Zelda on a chestnut mare, Juni on a stable horse, and bulbins charging willy nilly. Juni was shot off her horse and then the tides shifted and I stitched everything up and...

Already ahead of myself. Goodness, even after years of telling this story, I still trip up.

Bottom line: it's only through sheer luck that we made it out of that Ganondorf mess alive, if you ask me - just spoiled the end too, I guess, but you settled into my bar and asked for the legend already knowing the end, so you've no right to pout - and well, I'm just wrecking this more the more I talk and...

Excuse me.

(Three rupees change for you, ma'am. Thank you for visiting Telma's...)

Alright, so we've already established that I suck at storytelling and, in the end, Ganondorf is defeated, right?

But what do you really know of the persons who saved our Hyrule? Or the final battle? Or the events leading up to it? The Hero? The Vagabou?

You don't know about the Vagabou? Were you confined to your house for the entirety of your life? Goddesses. All you really need to know is that they're traders who live out of their travelling wagons. Dark hair, tanned skin, penchant for wearing blue and yellow? They supply all of our potions, items manufactured outside of Castle Town?

Nothing? Really?

Honestly, it's not as if I made them up or anything...

How's this -

(No, sir, I can't break that silver rupee... Where did you even get it, huh? Mighty suspicious...)

- I'm the only person in all of Hyrule who they both told their story to, so I've got the best insight into what all went into saving our beloved land. Every fight, weapon, and enemy. But also every bonfire, memory, and instrument. And, believe me, half of it doesn't even sound possible, but it's the truth.

Take it or leave it.

Thank you. And after we're done, I'll tell you where you can find them - Yes, them. Don't look so astonished. - and you can ask for their story yourself. I doubt they'll talk, but you can try.

Ahem. Right.

So -