The Bone Dancer of Konoha

by Takehashi Yukisho

Uzumaki Naruto, Naru-chan to his precious people, was never a normal child. For one, most children don't act as the living prison for a mountain-sized fox with more tails than legs. Secondly, most children can't make weapons from their own bones.

Foreword:

I do not own Naruto, nor any anime franchise, despite having some really damn good ideas for some of the anime series I've seen so far. I do however own a laptop and a Crunchyroll account, so close enough, I guess. If I DID own Naruto, Anko would be Naruto's big sister, Naruto wouldn't be so dense, and less characters (i. e. Neji, Sasuke, Hiashi) would have not just a stick, but entire trees up their ass.

This story was born from several factors. The first is that, due to containing the Kyuubi no Kitsune, Naruto has whiskers. But therein lies a major plot hole that Kishimoto-san never addressed. If Naruto, by canon, is the third jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi, then why in the deepest pit of the Makai is it that only he has whiskers? According to canon, every jinchuuriki has distinct markings that signifies which of the Bijuu they hold, hence Bee's horn tattoos, Yugito's claws, or Gaara's eyes. Yet somehow, at no point, did Kushina or Mito ever have the whisker marks. To my mind, they should have, thus letting people know 'hey, that's the Kyuubi jinchuuriki.' Therefore, I'm forcibly correcting that failure on Kishimoto-san's part and having it known by Konoha just what sort of legacy Naruto is carrying with him.

The second factor is that I love stories where Naruto is a quiet, feminine child, oft mistaken for a young girl by those who don't know him. Stories like Jorougumo, in that regard, are favourites of mine, especially since, with Naruto's canon upbringing, there is no way that he'd be so upbeat all the time. With those he trusts, certainly, but not to the point of being the orange-loving, ramen-obsessed fool he is in canon.

The third is that I plan on Naruto having a better start than in canon. Not perfect, but at least better off than the unloved orphan. He'll have a bloodline, no doubt about that, but I'm not making him the second coming of the Rikudo Sennin. I (try to) follow one of the key laws of fanfiction: you can't make Frodo a Jedi, unless you plan on giving Sauron the Death Star. If one character gets a boost, everyone does. That being said, my original plan was to give Naruto the Jiongu, but I'd rather give him Shikotsumyaku. Just… the image of a feminine Naruto gracefully fighting with a nodachi made from his own bones has a haunting beauty to it.

This will be a NaruHina fanfiction first and foremost, and I will NOT change that. Some characters will be OOC compared to canon, such as Sasuke being kind and Hinata being confident. Before you review and complain that I'm not following Canon, just remember that this IS fanfiction, after all, and thus doesn't necessarily have to follow everything from the original. Creative licence is a thing, and I will make use of it where I see fit.

To anyone who thinks that this is a good idea (how drunk/high are you then?) read on. For anyone who thinks I'm an idiot (debatable) or insane (just a little bit) for writing this, please kindly grab your coats and walk away. Flames will be used to light all of the scented candles in my office/common room so I might actually sleep for longer than two hours for once in my life.

Ja ne!

-Foxtrot Grady