A/N: Alright, sad to say Secrets is tanking, so it will probably be removed. This is a one shot inspired by the song Crave You by Flight Facilities. I know a lot of songfics aren't too good, and sometimes they don't even make sense, but the lyrics of the song made me think of what it would be like to try and win the affections of a man who is intent on hiding all feelings. I do not own the song or Star Trek.
(first two lines of lyrics go here)
She knew she was being silly, but it just wasn't fair. For years, her beauty had made men fall at her feet: long, wavy red hair, porcelain skin, deep green eyes, and wonderfully curvy. Even that poor Russian kid, Chekov, had been helpless. Yet, despite the short skirt and boots that made up her uniform, that damned Vulcan wouldn't even look at her.
(next two)
She thought she'd come so close when she had caught him in the turbolift. She stood tall, not looking directly at him, but every so often glancing in the corner of her eye. He glanced at her a couple times, and she gathered the courage to speak with him. Before she could say anything, the doors opened and he stepped out quickly, heading down the hall. He had turned a corner before she could even open her mouth.
(and the next four)
She didn't want to admit it, but it really bothered her. Thoughts would swirl through her head. Was she not pretty enough? Did he not like her hair color? Her eye color? She chewed on her lip as she entered the bridge. Everyone except him glanced at her, and she walked straight up to Kirk, a plan forming in her head. She held out a report for him to check over.
"Well, hello there, Ensign Valyard." Kirk smirked at her and she gave a small smile back. He looked her over, before turning to the report. "So, what brings such a fine example of a woman to my chair today?" She secretly glanced at Spock before batting her eyes at Kirk. Everyone was watching at this point.
"Just a simple science report, sir. Nothing too special." He chuckled, signing off on it and handing it back. She intentionally kept her fingers just out of reach of his touch as she took it, taking the time to look it over.
"Ensign, I was wondering just what you looked for in a man? Someone in command maybe? Or experienced?" His eyebrows waggled, and she was actually surprised he wasn't more subtle. At this point, Spock was watching, and she moved in for the kill.
"Well, I've never been that into humans." Chekov and Kirk looked disappointed. "After all, it's always the same things. I also like them smart. Control is important, gotta be able to drive a girl crazy." Oh, how true she thought. "Dark eyes are a plus. And a deep voice." She saw Spock's eyebrow go up and she turned on her heel, striding confidently to the turbolift. The seed had been planted.
(next chunk of lyrics)
Two weeks later was the big 100 year anniversary of Star Fleet and a big ball was to be held on Earth. Just this once, it was an event that didn't require the dress uniform, but something entirely more formal. She knew most girls were going to instinctively wear the same colors as their uniforms, and maybe a couple would get daring with a few bright colors, but she wanted to be unique.
As she descended the stairs into the ballroom, she could tell she'd succeeded, but she was too busy focusing her gaze on Spock. He looked even better than normal in a traditional tuxedo, standing next to his captain as always. She wore a black sheath column dress that just barely brushed the floor. It had an embellished bosom, and the space between her breasts and her waist was a combination of sheer mesh and a sort of lace, giving it a surprisingly classy look. The skirt shimmered in the lights of the room. She had left her hair down and off to one side almost carelessly, with big earrings as her only jewelry. Her makeup was done to make both her eyes and lips pop without looking overdone or slutty. Despite all of this, Spock was the first to turn away when everyone started to come to her senses. Infuriated, she strode over, took the captain's arm, and pulled him away in the middle of his conversation with Spock. He didn't seem to mind. Spock just looked after them, that damned infuriating calm still all over his face.
(chorus!)
She hated to admit it, but she was definitely falling for the maddening Vulcan. He drove her up the wall, and she loved the fact that she didn't throw himself at her feet. She began to research his culture, trying to find a way to woo the untouchable Mr. Spock.
(next two)
She started by trying some of the food. She would make sure he was in the mess hall when she was, and she would sit one or two tables away. She soon came to like the Vulcan fruits, and the salad was surprisingly filling. He would glance a little longer in her direction than normal, then complete his meal and leave. A quiet victory.
(and two more)
She had come to learn that the Vulcan language was intense and insanely complicated. She picked up a few basic words, filling in a small leather book with notes. At this point, she'd given up simply trying to make him lust after her; she actually wanted him to like her. She'd taken to wearing her hair up in a bun and not wearing makeup on duty. She was less flirtatious with the crew and was studying the Vulcan language and cultural ideals. She'd even begun to meditate. It was making her life surprisingly easy, relieving stress and keeping her emotions in check. She decided that if nothing else, she would continue these practices simply to keep herself happy and healthy.
As she left the ship's library, she collided with something very solid and very tall. She stumbled back, shocked, and looked up to see that very same Commander who had been running through her mind. Briefly, she wondered if this was how other men felt around her before.
"I apologize, Commander." She said, keeping her voice even. She knew that Vulcans were uncomfortable around emotional humans. "I was not looking where I was going, and will ensure that I do so in the future." She gave a curt nod, and moved to step around him He stepped into her path. He glanced at the materials she had for study.
"Ensign Valyard, is there a reason you seem to have a large amount of reading on the Vulcan culture?" He asked, his voice even, but his eyes curious. She blushed, but kept her face even.
"I was simply studying a culture that I do not fully understand. Surely, you can appreciate that, Commander?" She asked and his eyebrow rose. Her heart fluttered, and her mind swirled. She checked the time, then glanced back at him. "If you'll excuse me, sir, I wish to get some meditation done before dinner." She didn't mean to tell him, but she'd said it without thinking. Before he could question her further, she escaped, her head down as she left.
(and two more)
She was meditating in her room a bit later, but failing miserably. She finally gave up, moving to the couch from her cushion on the floor. She pulled out her little leather bound book, curling up as she worked on her writing again. Her mind wandered, looking back over her transformation. She liked her new personality; she was friendlier and less sultry. She'd even made friends with Chekov and Scotty, finding them to be entertaining and just a bit silly. Even Kirk wasn't looking at her lustfully anymore. Her door chime pinged and she got up, automatically pulling her long sleeved shirt down to completely cover her midriff. She rolled the sleeves up as she stepped up to the door, opening it to reveal Mr. Spock. He stood in a simple outfit, exactly like hers in that they were the traditional Vulcan meditation clothes: soft, black pants and a matching long sleeve shirt.
"Commander?" She asked, surprised. She glanced at his hands and saw him holding a closed container. "Can I help you sir?" She asked, careful to keep her nervousness out of her voice.
"Yes." He nodded. "May I come in, Ensign?" She stepped aside to allow him in, and as the door closed, he handed her the container. She held it, waiting for him to state his reason for being here. He didn't disappoint. "I was wondering what inspired to pursue aspects of the Vulcan lifestyle. It is not often that a human willingly follows our rules and practices." He stated it as a fact, but there was something knowing behind those eyes.
"Well, sir, you always seem so calm and collected, I decided to see if maybe I, too, could achieve a similar level of control." He nodded again.
"And the change in your diet?" He asked.
"A welcome one. The fruit of Vulcan is very delicious, and I find the salads filling." He actually seemed to brighten a bit at this. Without saying anything, she invited him to sit, placing herself at the opposite end of the couch from him respectfully. She had left her notebook open, and she moved to collect it. His hand reached it first, gently holding it as he looked it over. After a few moments, he set it down, looking at her.
"Would you mind if I meditated with you tonight?" He asked, catching her off guard. She hadn't planning on trying again tonight, but she worried that maybe he hadn't done his yet tonight. As she thought it over, he mistook her silence for one of curiosity. "I believe it is customary when one stops at the quarters of another to bring something." He picked up the container, opening it to reveal her favorite Vulcan fruits, diced nicely for easy eating.
"Oh, Commander, this is very kind of you." She took the container, careful to avoid touching his fingers. "You really didn't need to, but the gift is appreciated." Despite herself, she smiled, and was surprised to receive a tiny smile in return.
"Please, Ensign, you may call me Spock when we are off duty." She was surprised and elated.
"Then please, call me Sascha." He gave another tiny smile. She could already tell this was a good beginning.
(final line!)
A/N: So, a long one shot, I know, but I felt like so many good things could happen with this. Well, you can review if you like, but I won't hate you if you don't. UPDATE! So, I was "requested" to remove the lyrics due to copyright. I'm currently working on getting them restored, so I apologize for the simple and slightly stupid replacements.