Okay so I wrote a SasuShika fic before as a small venture out of writing KibaNaru all the time. That made me a bit interested in the pairing, and inspired be to write another one, namely, this.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. Damn.

It took Naruto a couple of months to figure it all out. When he first noticed the phenomenon, he had no clue what was going on, just that they were doing something odd. He was pretty sure that it wasn't just him being dumb again, either, because no one else seemed to recognize it, or even notice it. Now, though, not only did he recognize it, he could understand it in its entirety every time. Personally, Naruto thought that it was a little ridiculous, but he would admit that it was necessary. After all, he was one of five people in existence who knew about them, and whenever they met, there were always interfering "circumstances."

Such as the circumstances that Team 7 was met with as soon as they neared the village gate. No sooner did they cross over the boundary line did Yamanaka Ino suddenly appear out of nowhere and attach herself to Sasuke's right arm. "Welcome back, Sasuke!" she purred as she rubbed up against him like a cat wanting to be fed, "Did you miss me?"

Sasuke just stood there. Maybe he thought that, if he stood completely still, she'd think he was dead and find some other poor prey to hunt. Of course, Naruto knew that the blonde girl wouldn't fall for that. She looked perfectly content rubbing up against him and clinging on to his arm as if her life depended on it. Naruto also knew exactly how his other teammate would react. 3…2…1…

"Ino! Get off of him you pig! Sasuke's mine!" Suddenly, Sasuke's left arm felt a puling force, this time courtesy of Sakura. At least the Uchiha was balanced now.

"In your dreams, Billboard Brow! He's mine!"

"Grrr, Inoooo!"

While the two girls continued to argue and play tug-of-war with Sasuke (personally, Naruto thought that it was slightly hypocritical of them when they called him annoying), Shikamaru approached from the direction Ino had bounded from in a much more leisurely pace. He regarded Naruto with a slight nod, which Naruto returned. The kyuubi bearer quickly asked a question while he still had the slacker's attention. "Where's Chouji today?"

"He's in the hospital. He got indigestion again."

Naruto, satisfied with the answer, nodded in understanding. He watched as Shikamaru turned to face the spectacle in front of them. Sakura and Ino were currently yelling at each other, while Sasuke just stood there like a statue, waiting for it to end. It was a wonder that he wasn't deaf by this point. Then, the two genius ninja's eyes met, and Naruto observed as it began all over again, trying to decipher the code that these they used.

Shikamaru started it off. His eyes narrowed, and he had a small frown. His face looked somewhat like it usually did, but the narrowed eyes gave it a darker look than usual. I'm jealous, Naruto interpreted.

Sasuke just shrugged in response, his face now sporting his usual cocky look, Uchiha smirk and all. Unfortunately, I don't have a third arm for you.

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes further. He didn't find it nearly as funny. Sasuke quickly amended his expression to apologetic. Sorry.

Shikamaru now looked like his usual bored self. He looked up at the clouds for a second. Eh, It's not your fault. Shikamaru looked at Sasuke casually now. So, how'd the mission go?

Naruto found it kind of funny that the shadow ninja would "ask" Sasuke such a normal question while he was currently in the middle of a fan girl war zone. Sakura had just punched Ino with surprising force, considering she had to stay on Sasuke's arm and avoid his head. Neither of the girls was actually paying attention to their raven-haired prize anymore. They were far too caught up in fighting. He could have stabbed himself in the stomach, and they wouldn't have noticed. Sasuke, in turn, had forgotten about them and was focused on his facial conversation with Shikamaru. Currently, he was looking down at the ground, his face fallen. Don't Ask.

Shikamaru sot a quick glance at the blond that currently wasn't attached to Sasuke. Naruto screw up again? Naruto felt insulted that that was his friend's first assumption. He had done just fine on the mission. The problem had been the client that they had to escort, an old man who seemed to find fault with everything. Apparently, he didn't approve of lively young men ("Dammit, sit still, boy! Young people should be quiet and behaved."), female ninja ("Girls should be cooking and cleaning, not fighting!") or somewhat intense prodigies ("Gah! Stop staring at me like that! Respect your elders, boy!"). Obviously, it had not been a pleasant day.

Naruto turned back to Sasuke. If his rival thought that he could blame this on him, he had another thing coming. Sasuke shook his head, though, absolving Naruto of responsibility. He face then deadpanned, indicating that he was done talking about it. His expression softened a little, though. I'll tell you later.

Shikamaru's features suddenly became mischievous and he gave the Uchiha a lecherous smirk. Before, during or after we make out? Okay, so Naruto took a few liberties in that translation. The two of them were somewhat reluctant to tell Naruto exactly what they did when they were alone together. Still, he was pretty sure that Shikamaru's message was somewhat perverted, and it sounded like something that he would say.

Sasuke blushed (yes, blushed) at his lover's message, but quickly recovered and returned the same look back, if anything even more lecherous than Shikamaru's had been. We're only making out? Once again, Naruto was taking liberties, but to lesser extent than before. Sasuke was his best friend, after all, so he could understand him a little better.

Now, Shikamaru was blushing, which caused Sasuke's smirk to grow in triumph. That ended, however, as he momentarily lost his balance. Ino had managed to momentarily gain some momentum and pull Sasuke more towards her. Sasuke growled as he regained his footing, but neither of the girls took any notice. The next look he sent Shikamaru was somewhat pleading. Can you please think of a way to help me get out of this?

Shikamaru sighed and rubbed his forehead in frustration. Believe me, I'm trying.

Sasuke gave a sarcastic stare. I thought you were a genius.

Shikamaru gave a blank, bored face in return. So are you.

Patented Uchiha glare. …Shut up.

Naruto sighed inwardly. He felt for his friends, he really did. Even though it mostly went unsaid, he knew that the two truly cared about each other. Shikamaru had been the first person to make the avenger truly care about anything in a long time, and Sasuke was one of the few people that the lazy ninja would willingly go out of his way for. However, Sakura and Ino were completely relentless in their pursuit of the Uchiha heir, and nothing short of an attack on the village would be able to distract them long enough for the two to escape.

Wait, that wasn't true. Naruto remembered that there was one thing that might work, but for that…

"Hey, Naruto!" Kiba. Perfect. As soon as the dog ninja came within reach, Naruto grabbed onto his hooded sweatshirt and pulled him into a deep kiss. Kiba was obviously surprised by the sudden action, but he very quickly got into it, tilting his head to give his blond boyfriend better access.

Naruto, still in mid-kiss, looked around at his peers. Sakura and Ino were now dead quiet. They were both openly gawking and had dropped jaws and fresh nosebleeds. Naruto laughed inwardly. Not only were they the village's two biggest Sasuke fan girls, they were also the village's biggest yaoi fan girls. Sasuke and Shikamaru were also in shock and blushing a little. Naruto groaned a little, and sent them a little message of his own, rolling his eyes and glaring at them pointedly. Do I have to draw you a picture? Go!

The two boys that were now being currently ignored quickly got back to their senses. They both shot the blond male appreciative glances and left before the girls realized that they were now holding on to a very large branch instead of Sasuke.

Naruto sighed and turned back towards Kiba, who now had an understanding look in his eyes. So that's why you were so eager. Unlike Sasuke and Shikamaru, Naruto communicated with his lover through body language.

Yeah. Sorry for using you like that.

S'all right. You know, they wouldn't have this problem if they just came out already like we did.

Naruto chuckled into the kiss a little at that last "statement." He thought about his two friends, who were probably holding hands by now on their way to Sasuke's home. They'd never admit it, but they both loved small romantic gestures like that. Then Naruto dropped all thoughts of them as Kiba's tongue entered his mouth, focusing on the not-so-small romantic gesture he was currently making.

I have to say, it seems that it's a little heavy on the KibaNaru, but I still like it. I'm not trying to bash Sakura or Ino here, by the way. I'm bashing their rabid competition over Sasuke. I don't have a problem with either of them, just with their constant fighting over a guy that's obviously not interested. Now, review, and let me know how you feel about this piece.