I promised to rewrite it and now I am starting to! It's going to much different with more of a plot base instead of multiple oneshots. Hopefully it's not as cringy as before either. It's a tad longer as well.
The ticking of that damn clock was annoying the living hell out of America. If it wasn't for the fact he absolutely must attend this silly meeting than he'd be out of the cold boardroom before you could say cheese crackers. If only to get away from that clock, which only served to make him feel miserable about all the time he was wasting dying in this place.
The most annoying part about this whole thing was that the meeting taking place currently wasn't even the first meeting that he had been forced to attend today. Nope, it was in fact the fourth which means the american was about three minutes from attacking anyone unfortunate enough to try and speak to him.
Well anyone rude that would try and speak to him, to be honest he was kinda hoping someone would start something. That way he could jump in and not actually be in any trouble, or at least not in as much trouble as he would be in if he were to start something.
America's fingers tapped rapidly on the wooden table he shifted restlessly in a matching wooden, not to mention horribly uncomfortable, chair. Seriously who made chairs this stiff, no human being or in this case nation wanted to deal with a classic case of 'oh my god I can't feel my ass'. If you had a kink for that kind of stuff than you should stay a million miles away from him because that shit is unnatural. Though knowing Germany he probably had the chairs meant to be so uncomfortable just to spite all the nations that he hates, his chair is probably super comfy and totally not killing his ass.
He lifted up a pencil and drew a few random circles and abstract shapes that he hoped weren't some cult symbols. The last thing America wanted was to summon some ghosts, even boredom was better than those transparent zombie wannabe's. Even the thought of accidentally summoning something ruined the slightly relaxing doodling thing he had going on so he stopped in favor of poking Canada's arm.
Unfortunately his sibling was used to this sort of instigating and merely ignore America's light pokes. Knowing full well that he wouldn't do anything noticeable, sometimes he can get Canada to poke him back but it seemed like today was one of those days where his northern brother was not in a mood to play. In Fact he seemed rather adamant on ignoring America. Someone probably accused him of something that America had done previously, it happens more often than either of them would like to admit. This didn't stop him from poking Canada's newly pressed suit with slightly less vigor than before, it's not fun if he didn't do anything.
Maybe he should take a nap, America allowed his eyes to fall shut and just as he began to relax a cold hand suddenly slapped down on his neck. America yelped his eyes fluttering open and he turned to look at imposing green eyes.
"Excuse me? America are you seriously not paying attention?!" An englishman, the personification of Britain to be precise, shouted. His bushy eyebrows that looked so much like little bugs raising up to hide comically behind his messy bangs.
America quickly raised a hand over his mouth to cover a gasp of laughter and tried in a horrible attempt to look serious. "Of course I was, but to be honest the hero hasn't got any time for this bullshit." He replied cheerfully, hollywood worthy smile in full effect.
England took a minute to process his words, after that it took less than a second for his face to explode in an angry red. America kept smiling, wondering if maybe Germany would cancel the meeting if England killed him. Because honestly dying seems like a better option than listening to Monaco drone on and on about how trash is clearly trying to overtake humanity. It totally was but she wasn't even giving a solution, just bragging about how clean she herself was.
"You little bugger! No wonder everyone thinks you're an idiot." England hissed, his deep voice making the words seem a lot creepier than intended. Kinda like a creepy guy that offers you candy if you get in his car.
America glared, why did everyone always jump to calling him stupid or fat. Really apparently these old geezers had no comebacks given they always use the same ones! It was no fun to argue with someone when all they did was same the same stuff over and over again. He'll never understand why teens like arguing with old people, it's like talking to a wall that likes to scream.
"I'm not an idiot get some better insults Arthur." America sang the brit's human name, which was kinda harsh since the nations weren't really supposed to use each others human names when they weren't close or at a meeting. For some reason everyone got really flustered whenever America said their name, it was the easiest way for him to win an argument without having to smack anyone.
True to his thoughts England immediately stiffened up, his face fading to more of a pink color rather than red. He wasn't sure if this was improvement or if he had just shocked him enough to chill out. Either way he sort of wins, he can't really get in trouble for saying England's human name either so no one could yell at him without seeming nit picky.
"Don't say my name like that." England mumbled looking back at his papers avoiding France's wiggling eyebrows.
France like usual refused to be ignore and simply leaned on top of England's paper with a flourish, somehow making flopping on a table look fabulous.
"Would you rather him say it in a different way?" France purred, winking at both America and England. America gave him a blank look while England went straight to his stuttering and screaming mode. Dude really needs to learn the art of chill.
"Like how dude? I know I'm pronouncing it right so don't throw that crap at me." America replied, pulling his own papers away from underneath France's body. Monaco kept droning on despite the disturbance but to be honest the three weren't the loudest people there.
"Non, I meant would he rather you scream it." France tittered, sitting up quickly when England tried to slap his head with a briefcase. Canada quickly reached over and snatched the briefcase away pinching England when he tried to grab it back, which cause France to laugh and England's attention reverted back to smacking France.
America snickered at the two rough housing before giving Canada a 'cover your ears' look. Some people would just think they were staring at each other but America uses this look so often Canada knows when he's about to do something stupid.
"Arthur!" America screamed, laughing loudly when the brit momentarily released France's shirt to stare at him with a red face.
"Don't you start git! I said not to call me that!" England yelled ducking when France tried to pull his tie back.
America hummed leaning away from the two. "Nooo, you said not to sing it. Well to be precise you said," America let his voice drop to a mimic England's deep tone and accent, "Don't say my name like that."
Both France and even Canada snorted, or France laughed and Canada tried hiding his smile behind his sleeve. England glared his sharp eyes even more narrow than usual, he reached forward and tried to grab America's jacket but the blonde refused to be choked out instead he fell back and landed in his brothers lap.
Canada glared pushing America off in a totally unbrotherly way. Allowing England to grab the americans foot and pull him out from underneath the table.
America screamed grabbing some unknown nations foot to avoid being dragged to his death. Normally he doesn't get involved when France and England fight but the meeting was boring and he was practically drowning in misery he didn't expect England to go all horror character attack mode.
Whoevers foot America was holding onto suddenly moved and tried to kick him off. America whined holding tighter and a moment later the foot stopped resisting and England stopped pulling. America was momentarily excited but than realized that they're probably in trouble.
Being the totally heroic person he was America rolled out from underneath the table to see a very angry Germany looking down at him. America winked and stood up quickly looking over to see Romano glaring at him… so that's whose foot it was.
"All three of you are behaving like children, normally I'd allow this type of behavior to continue but hiding underneath a table is much too childish to ignore." Germany gave America such a disapproving look he couldn't help but look away awkwardly his face feeling awfully warm.
"Not to mention England behaving like a crazed hospital patient. Grabbing someone and attempting to do whatever the hell you were doing-" Germany continued until France interrupted.
"Grope him." The frenchman accused, falling backwards to avoid England's fist.
"That's not at all what I was going to do! I was just going to slap him!" England defended his voice too rushed and panicky for America's taste.
"Dude that's creepy." America muttered, still refusing to look Germany in the eye. He had no problem getting England into more trouble.
"That's not what I was doing!" England screeched, silencing only when Germany slapped the back of his head.
"The meeting is adjourned everyone leave." Germany stated suddenly, face palming when the other nations literally ran out of the room. Italy lingered walking over to Germany pulling on his arm.
"Ve, Germany why don't we go get pasta… the meeting is over like you said so there's no point in disciplining them. I doubt America would stay anyways." Italy sang, tugging Germany away from the three trouble makers. He waved at America as they left.
America waved back until the two were out of sight, he than spun around and smacked the back of England's head.
The british man yelped grabbing the back of his head glaring. "What the hell was that for?" He whined.
America shrugged, "For being an asshole I guess." In reality America just wanted to get back for when England hit him earlier, seriously did he really think that he was just going to let himself get hit with no repercussions. Nope, usually he did shit like screwing around with his car but he wasn't in the mood to do anything clever.
"Bugger off arse." England whispered, kicking France's leg lightly. The three were clearly done fucking around, which meant they needed to head back to their hotels or homes. Given this was Germany the former is what America planned but he didn't really fancy being bored in a hotel room, least he make the mistake of trying to prank call people again. He hadn't met to call Romano but he did and oh boy was he chewed out for it.
America groaned glancing at his watch. His flight back to the states didn't even leave until tomorrow morning. He could call his boss but the meeting wasn't supposed to end for another two hours which meant any text or call would be ignored. So America had to more or less entertain himself. Being left to his own devices was almost as bad as having to listen to boring speeches.
"Are you guys doing anything, because I have no idea what I'm going to do." America asked, both France and England seemed to perk up. France even adorning a flirty smile.
"I was planning on making my way back to France but perhaps you'd like to go eat?" The flirty man offered, America smiled and was about to agree when England suddenly interjected.
"No way in hell will he go with you alone, America come with me. We'll go to one of those stupid restaurants you like. I'll pay." America turned to England eagerly, saving money was always a plus.
France glared at the british man and grabbed America's hand. "Non, I offered first. Besides I always pay, like a true frenchman unlike you pisse-froid."
England inhaled sharply, "Listen hear frog, I refuse to allow you this sort of headway. We already agreed on certain terms with the others-"
"That doesn't include taking him out on a friendly date.' France interrupted, a smug look crossing his face.
America was slightly curious as to what these terms were and how many others knew about them. It would be totally uncool if they all had some secret get together party and didn't invite him, why wouldn't they invite the hero? Sure it might be annoying but he was still kinda fun. Fun enough that France and England were arguing about who got to take him out on a date- wait a date?
"Dude 'friendly date'? We're literally just going to get something to eat… like no homo." America said, glancing between the two rivals.
"America you are gay." England stated plainly. His face blank yet somehow looking annoyed, maybe it was the eyebrows. He was right though, despite using the no homo language America did prefer men over women, not that girls weren't pretty they were just not his type.
"Yeah but right now it's just two friends going out." America replied stressing the word 'friends'. He wasn't sure but he could of swore both England and France made a face at the word.
"What a stupid word." France muttered. America looked at his sour face and back to England.
"Look, standing here all day arguing isn't on my agenda. Why don't we all three just go somewhere together? That way we're not fighting!" America exclaimed, pouting when both England and France seemed against it.
"Mon lapin, don't you think it would be a better idea to just leave the grumpy flea to his own fate?" France suggested, ignoring the murderous look England threw his way.
"Or perhaps it would be an ideal day if you were to ditch the frog and come with me. I'm much better company than the pervert." England taunted, grinning smugly his large eyebrows rose up tauntingly making America think about that one megamind meme.
France rolled his eyes, "Ah you are one to talk, at least I'm not in some sort of secret pervert cult. I spread love and warm nights not just sex like you angleterre."
America looked at England alarmed. The dude is in a what?! He wasn't even aware secret pervert cults existed! Much less one the self proclaimed gentleman would be in one, than again England did have a history of being overly sexual. Or at least a teeny bit pushy, he was horrible during the opium wars. That was something America preferred not to think about.
"It's not a cult France, it's merely a trio that I happen to be apart of. We're not perverts either." England defended himself hissingly. Glancing at America with what might have been guilt. "Japan is in it."
Immediately America relaxed, Japan the country might have done some weird things but he knew the personification was a chill guy. He'd never be in a pervert cult at least. Well unless it had to do with kawaii anime people, in that case Japan would be all over it. Or if it had to do something with yaoi, America still isn't sure what that is and Japan was adamant on making sure it stayed that way.
France and England had continued bickering and the longer they stood here the longer America had to wait for food. Which meant he needed to make a decision. Going was France was asking for a good time, the frenchman was hella flirty but he knew how to entertain guests and loved doing impressions of famous french cartoon characters which made him automatically America's first choice. However he hadn't done much with England lately, he sort of avoids the crass englishman if not only to avoid being picked on. But that made him feel the tiniest bit bad and when it came down to it England could be enjoyable company as well...
America snapped his fingers and grinned brightly "Okey dokey, so I've come to a conclusive decision!" He announced, both France and England gave each other cocky looks.
"I'm going out with France-" France pinched England's arm as he went to argue, "But, I'll go out with England tomorrow morning before I leave. That way we won't have to go together because you two have issues, but I don't actually have to choose anyone! I'm going with France first because he offered first." America amended, grinning like a loon at the other twos dumbfounded expressions.
England tapped his chin thinking for a moment before nodding, "That actually seems rather well thought out and fair. I agree."
France nodded as well, clapping his hands together. "So that means we'll be going to a small place called Chez Mamie! It's not as well done as the restaurants in my country but it is still french."
America shrugged waving goodbye to England who made an awkward half wave in return. "That sounds okay, I'm cool with french food." America replied to France who winked in return.
"Then let us be off, it's almost seven so it will be appropriate for me to say that you are going to have one of the best nights out of your life." France sang, hooking his arm around America's own and leading them both out of the building.
America briefly wondered if he should have told both of them to fuck off, but the promise of free food and a fun night quickly chased that thought out of his head. Maybe France would mention something mean but at least he'd cover it up nicely.
He failed to notice the eager jump in France's step and his oblivious mind had already forgotten the weird fact that France and England had some sort of deal involving him.