Questions and Answers
The kiss was mingled with passion and relief and yearning and desperation. It was a reckless thing to do, in the open, with Mei Lin and Frank just barely out of sight, and neighbors who made it their business to police each other. Jean was not sorry for the kiss, only that it would not happen again. The broke apart and she stepped away.
"Jean – there's something I need to ask you."
Lucien smiled, but there was something in his eyes, some residual pain. The events of the past few weeks had left him with new scars. She did not want to add to them, he did not deserve that, but…
"Not now, Lucien, please. I just…"
"Yes. Now. I need to know…" Jean steeled herself. How could she feel such hope and such fear at the same time? How could the words she had spent untold hours wishing to hear now fill her with dread?
He was waiting, searching her face for some sign to continue, reading the conflict in her silence. "Lucien, please, not yet. I can't give you the answer that you want." She hesitated, seeking to soften the blow as well she could. "The answer we both want."
"You haven't heard the question." He smiled a little more at her confusion. What other question was there?
"Jean… I know what I need to do, but I don't know how long it's going to take. It will most certainly be months, perhaps even a year or longer, for Mei Lin and me to be granted a divorce. There will be even more talk than there was before, and it will likely be more vicious. I won't pretend to think that it is going to be otherwise. And I know what I'm asking is unfair to you, and for that, and a thousand other things, I am so sorry. But I need to know…Jean…I need to ask you…" Lucien hesitated, afraid to continue, afraid to stay silent.
"Will you wait for me?"