She sat at the edge of the town looking up at the mountain, long legs hanging over the edge of the wall. She was fidgeting, which was incredibly odd for her. She had done enough work for the day and had slipped away almost unnoticed. It had been months now since the battle, and the town was nearly back to rights. She had rowed in along with everyone else, though no one thought she should have. She was constantly being watched and had heard whispers behind her back quite often. But she brushed it off, if she wanted to help why shouldn't she? She needed something to keep her mind off all the things that had happened, to help her slowly adjust to how things had changed. She was a completely different person now to who she had been before the great battle, and she had yet to decide if that was an entirely bad thing.
Her hair was falling free down around her face, the wind whipping it back and forth around her. She knew she must look incredibly unkempt, again quite unlike her, but her mind was too exhausted to care. Her head was well and truly still within the mountain. An odd thought since she'd only been in the great halls once, and that was for the saddest of affairs, the funeral of the line of Durin. She'd stood as a representative of her people, being one of few that had actually gotten to know the group while on their quest, many had questioned her and many had spoken about her.
It was funny, in reality she had lost so much, yet she had also gained a lot. Losing her home had changed everything, she was now making her own way in the world. It was oddly liberating behind the sadness. She was so lost in thought that she didn't even hear the footsteps growing closer to her.
"Sigrid?" a small voice broke through the mist and brought her back to reality. "Sigrid.." it repeated. She blinked hard and turned to see her younger sister standing behind her. "Da says it's time to come home for tea." She said looking at her sister nervously. Sigrid smiled, knowing how nervous the high walls still made Matilda. She swung her legs back over and held her hand out to her younger sister.
"Thank you Tilda." She smiled as the younger girl took it.
"What do you do out here?" she asked as they walked home. To their new home, a grand stone house, bigger than they would ever get used to. Bigger than Sigrid thought they'd ever need.
"I just come here to think. Get some space from the town. It can get quite busy." She replied.
"you don't have to go to town everyday though, Da has said that you don't need to help with the rebuilding."
"I know. But I like to do what I can. We were not born as princesses and I don't think we should suddenly act as such." She looked down as Tilda frowned.
"I stay home most days though, I do not help in the town as you do." Sigrid stopped and leant in to her sister.
"Tilda it would be too dangerous to have you out thatching roofs and such like we do. You do good work at home with the other girls on the sowing! Never doubt that!" she smiled and lifted her sister's chin. "Besides the work will be near completed soon and you and I shall have to become proper ladies." Sigrid smiled and pulled a face. "that day can stay away a while longer I think."
She succeeded in making the young girl laugh and they quickly continued on their way.
"Oh I forgot!" Tilda said, just as they reached their front door. "Tauriel is here!" she smiled and went in ahead. Sigrid beamed and followed quickly.
"Tauriel!" she called out as she finally made it to the kitchen, an odd place for the royal family to spent their leisure time but it suited them.
The willowy elf stood slowly as the girls entered, her hair catching the light off the fire.
"Lady of Dale. Greetings." She smiled and embraced Bard's middle child.
"It is so good to see you again." Sigrid said clinging to her. "So good." The tears were threatening again.
Their hug was only broken as Bard entered declaring dinner was waiting.
/ / / / \\ \\ \\ \\ \\
"So you are leaving?" Sigrid asked, pulling her throw tighter around her.
"How do you know?" Tauriel smiled while kicking a stone ahead of her.
"You have been in Erebor these past weeks, and have only visited us briefly. Yet you are staying tonight, you are saying your goodbyes."
"It's time to move on." The elf nodded.
"Where will you go?"
"Where ever the road takes me." She shrugged.
"There would always be a home here for you."
"Thank you, that is most kind. But I feel distance would be the best thing for my heart."
"How is it?" Sigrid stopped as they reached the wall.
"how is what?" Tauriel looked truly puzzled.
"Your heart." Sigrid sat on the edge and swung her legs over, she waited for Tauriel to join her.
"My heart…." She repeated mulling it over. "my heart is gone to the afterlife. Yet it still seems to beat in my chest. It grows a little stronger every day."
"Maybe some day you could visit us?" Sigrid's eyes locked on the great mountain before them. "I will miss you, and our letters."
"I will still write when I can Sigrid, and I will send someone that can find me with your reply." Tauriel finally sat on the wall beside her.
"I still feel so foolish." She sighed.
"Sigrid…"
"You wont make me feel any better. It is all so silly."
"Sigrid I have told you much of my heart ache because I know you understand."
"And I have told you I cannot understand, what you and Kili had was real. It was spoken. What I had…" she laughed. "… was a few stolen glances and a single touch of hands."
"you cannot compare your love to another. If there is anything I've learned from my time with Kili, that is it. I never told him how I felt, he never truly knew. I will carry that with me always."
"its amazing how much I feel the loss of what could have been. I cannot imagine how you bare it."
"It is always the possibilities that create the most pain, you can be completely taken away with the stories you miss out on."
"Why did you not brush me off? Claim I was simply suffering a young fancy."
"Who am I to disregard your feelings when I was so uncertain of my own?"
The two of them sat on the wall looking at the lonely mountain.
"It pains me to think of Kili lying forever under stone." Tauriel broke the silence after the moon had risen high up into the sky.
"We bury out dead too." Sigrid replied. "It does not seem so strange to me. It leaves you with a place to visit and to remember your loved one. It can be quite comforting."
The elf looked over at her.
"Your mother?" she asked softly.
"Yes. I truly believe it provided some comfort for Da over the years. Though it is far away now."
"Perhaps in years to come when I come back to visit I will find such comfort."
"I can nearly guarantee it."
"And you? Shall you visit Fili?" Sigrid looked up in alarm.
"What right have I to? Why should they let me?" she said shrugging. "I do not even know if he knew my name." she muttered almost inaudibly.
"Oh he did. I saw him gaze at you. I saw the beginnings of love."
"I really think I loved him. Isn't that the strangest thing? I barely knew him."
"You and I undersand each other." Tauriel said. "Better than anyone else."
She reached out and held the younger girls hand.
"What do we do now?" Sigrid whispered.
"Keep going."