Clarke POV
I grunted as I pulled the deer carcass towards my new homemade camp. It had been almost a week since I had left camp Jaha, deciding that I couldn't live with seeing the faces of the people I had saved everyday. I had sacrificed so much in order to save them and feared I was slowly going to start to loose my humanity, much in a way Finn had gone crazy. Was I going to become a mass murder if I let this pain and regret take me over? I didn't have time to ponder the question as I neared the cave I had settled in.
It wasn't very far from the bunker where Bellamy and I had found the guns and had our 'crazy nut' experiences. It was also where Dax had been killed. I didn't want to relieve the memories of my own people dying. It didn't make anything better. I flicked the blonde hair from my eyes and dropped the deer down in the middle of the cave. This one looked normal from what I could tell. It didn't have a second face, just a clean bullet wound through it's head where I had shot it down. I got to work skinning and preparing it and let my memories wander.
As usual they drifted to Bellamy and all we had gone through together. I had feelings for him, I couldn't deny that, but I doubted he felt the same way. He probably just wanted me to stay at Camp Jaha to help him keep the rest of The 100 in check. He obviously still thought of himself as their leader still even though the Ark survivors had landed months ago. I couldn't blame him though; I felt the same way too. I couldn't believe that my mother had taken over leadership and became chancellor. For the short time I was in Camp Jaha we didn't see eye to eye on most things. At least Bellamy supported many of the hard decisions I had to make, mostly holding the burden of killing the people in Mt. Weather with me.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when I nicked my finger with the knife I used to skin the deer. I realized the deer was pretty much done and got up to wash my hands. The basin I had made from the stuff I had in my pack was empty and I cursed, checking my water bottle. Nothing. With a sign I put a tarp over the deer carcass and headed towards the river with my bottle to fill it up. I kept alert, prepared for anything. I hadn't run into any Grounders or Ark people at all which I found to good to be true. I was bound to be discovered by someone soon. The woods were only so big. I was just glad that the acid fog and reapers were no longer a concerning threat.
As I neared the metallic looking river, I kneeled down and submerged the bottle, letting it fill with the cold water. Once that was I done I washed the blood from my hands, from the deer and the stupid cut I had given myself. I inspected it and decided I would wrap it in something back at the cave. It stopped bleeding but I didn't really fancy an infection. I rose to my feet and stretched, running my hands through my long blonde hair. The sound of a stick on the other side of the river made me freeze and my eyes widened as I saw Jasper, Monty, and Bellamy step out of the forest. I panicked. I could try running but they would surely chase me. There was no way in hell they wouldn't see me.
"Hey Bellamy. Is that Clarke?" Monty asked pointing at me and turning his head back to look at the black haired boy. I saw his eyes widen too, as if relieved when he recognized me. Jasper and Monty already started to wade across the shallow river, not caring if any monsters lurked in their depths. I couldn't run now, I wasn't that mean. These people were still my friends.
"Hey guys," I said quietly with a small wave as they both wrapped me into a huge hug. I chuckled and they let me go.
"Where have you been Clarke? Everyone's worried sick. You can't just leave saying you need some time to yourself! It's dangerous out here," Jasper said motioning to the forest around us.
"The whole Earth is dangerous. In fact you could have been eaten by something in that river if there was a radiated monster in there," I retaliated with a bit of a smirk. I definitely missed talking to my friends over the past week. Being isolated wasn't fun. Bellamy finally showed up and smiled to me from behind the other two boys. He genuinely looked glad that I was safe.
"You two run back to camp. Tell Abby and the others that Clarke is safe. They don't have to worry about anything," he ordered. They both nodded and ran back across the river.
"So we meet again princess," Bellamy smirked. I just wanted to kiss him there and then but I stopped myself. I didn't understand how he could act so nonchalantly and normal after what happened at Mt. Weather. It had been haunting me for the last week. As I had said before, I bore the pain so the others wouldn't have to. But I wasn't sure if I could bear it myself. It was just too much knowing I killed all those innocent people.
"It's not your fault," Bellamy said as if reading my mind. For a second I also saw a flash of pain run across his eyes. He was holding in just as much regret as I was. Would we ever to be able to get over it?
"Just leave Bellamy. I-I can't go back and you know it," I grumbled, turning by back to him and hiking back towards my camp. "Th-the nightmares are so bad. To have them living in front of me is just impossible." I heard him follow suit behind me and turned around, planning to tell him off for good.
I gasped instead when he took my face in his hands and kissed me. I stood shocked for a good couple before second before melting into the kiss and wrapping my hands around his back. Did this mean he returned the feelings I had hidden away of him? Our lips parted and he pulled me into a death grip hug, his barriers falling away.
"I thought I lost you princess. A whole week with no sign from you. For all I know you could have been dead and it would have been my fault," he said in a strained voice. It made my heart clench. I never wanted to hurt Bellamy.
"Nothing is your fault," I whispered into his ear before pulling away from him and holding his hand. "Follow me." My plagued thoughts of Mt. Weather disappeared as I dragged Bellamy to my little cave. For once I had a smile on my face and I actually felt happy. I pushed through the tarp I had made as I make shift door and started a fire next to the covered deer.
"Hungry?" I asked pulling away and folding up the tarp. The deer looked just I had left it, all dead and bloody. I had hung the skin up on the wall to dry out. Bellamy whistled,
"Nice kill. I don't think I have seen any deer lately." I shrugged and got to work cutting it up in chunks to cook it. At some point Bellamy had started to help me. When I was finished I filled up the basin with the water I had gotten and washed my hands again, cursing at myself for forgetting to wrap my cut. I did that quickly and skewered two pieces to meat to a stick and let them cook over the fire.
"So this is your great hide out," Bellamy chuckled sitting down on the furs I had been sleeping on over the past week.
"Yup, in all it's glory. I'm going to turn into a Grounder soon," I laughed rummaging through my pack. I pulled out a black block and headed over to Bellamy.
"What's that?" he questioned as I sat down next to him. I pressed a button and the whole thing snapped up revealing a camera.
"Some sort of old camera. I ran into another radiation family bunker and it had this in it. It's really quite cool," I smiled as I looked through the eyepiece and pressed the shutter button. The camera flashed and started to print the picture. A piece of paper came out with nothing on it.
"You sure that thing works?" Bellamy asked glancing at the paper.
"Just wait." Sure enough the film started to gain color and shapes started to form. After a minute Bellamy was fully recognizable. I showed him and he grabbed the camera from me. Before I could take it back be snapped a picture of me while laughing. It printed and before I could steal the picture Bellamy had it stuffed away.
"Your meat's burning Clarke," he pointed out. I jumped to my feet and pulled the deer meat away from the fire. I gave him a piece and sat down at his side again.
"Promise me you won't tell anyone where I am. Say I ran away or something but I'm ok?" I pleaded. If my mom knew where I was she would send a team out to drag me back into her custody. Bellamy sighed,
"What every the princess wishes. I'm coming to visit myself though." I smiled and finished up my meal before standing up and looking outside. The sun was starting to set.
"You better leave before they send a search party for you," I said looking up at the colorful sky. Bellamy had walked to my side and kissed my cheek.
"May we meet again princess," he said with a slight twinkle in his eyes, knowing he would be back soon.
"May we meet again."