The last night on Earth. It really is incredible just how big of an effect those few words have on one's mind, how they make you live to the fullest, for as long as you have left. Like there's no tomorrow. And as sad as it may be, those are the moments one may cherish the most. Forever.
At that moment Dean really felt like laughing, as he observed Castiel tilt his head, looking utterly confused. Holding back from letting out a snort, he tried to explain the situation: "Oh no, man… This whole industry runs on absent fathers! It's the natural order!"
That still didn't seem to make things clear for the angel, as he frowned in his usual, adorable way that always made Dean smile. Then, hearing the door open, both of them turned around, only to see two pretty tough looking guards enter the back room. Dean's smirk suddenly disappeared and he quickly grabbed Castiel's trench coat, pulling him out through the nearest possible exit.
As soon as the door closed behind them, the older Winchester brother burst out laughing. Castiel gave him one of his 'humans are weird' looks and asked: "What's so funny?"
"Nothing…" Dean had a strange feeling inside. It was something he didn't feel very often. He was almost… happy.
"Man, it's been a long time since I've laughed that hard…" he said and then, after he thought for a second, he added: "Ah, it's been more than a long time… Years." And it was true; now that he thought about it, he was rarely really happy. But with Cas, it all seemed so natural.
Moments before they sat down in the car, Dean caught a glimpse of Castiel's face. The other one looked perfect, almost angelic, ('How appropriate,' Dean thought,) and to him, it seemed like the angel was giving out something that made Dean see him glow despite the darkness surrounding them. And Dean was pretty sure it had nothing to do with the public illumination. He frowned at himself and sat down behind the wheel.
He had been having those feelings for quite some time now. It began with his heart jumping every time the angel appeared out of nowhere. With him smiling when Cas would make one of his adorable expressions. He also remembered how warm he felt on the inside when the angel said he rebelled and did it all for him. And then the feelings got stronger. He had a hard time focusing on anything with Cas in the room, he couldn't help himself but to observe every feature of Castiel's face. His heavenly blue eyes, the way his lips moved when he spoke, always with a sense of calm in his voice... And then there was his body. Whenever the angel would take off his trench coat, Dean would find his eyes wondering, looking at his hands, his hips… He even caught himself staring at the other's crotch, but always looked away the second he realized what he was doing, slightly blushing.
But so far, no matter what, Dean kept his mask of a tough guy on, hiding his feelings with sarcasm and laughter. It was hard though. He never really cared that much for anyone outside his family, until Cas came along. He, who gripped him tight and raised him from perdition, from the burning pain and suffering he went through in hell. Dean absently touched the mark the angel has left on his shoulder. It was hard to deny how much the angel really meant to him. He sighed.
"Dean," Castiel's voice broke the silence and called Dean back from his distant thinking. He looked at Cas, who now seemed puzzled.
"You look very serious. Is something the matter?" the angel asked, frowning a little.
"Nah, I'm good," Dean replied and grinned, tapping his fingers on the stirring wheel. "Just peachy."
Castiel didn't seem to be satisfied with the answer, so he probed further: "What were you… thinking about?"
"It's nothing."
Cas kept staring at him with a questioning look in his eyes.
"Dammit Cas, just drop it!" Dean's voice suddenly began to sound almost annoyed, and yet… he wasn't able to really get mad with Cas.
The angel tilted his head and frowned at Dean, the look that made the older Winchester brother soften immediately. He observed the other's calm, yet wondering blue eyes, so familiar and yet so distant, so out of reach. Dean's eyes then travelled lower and stopped at the angel's lips, currently slightly parted due to his questioning expression. They were so distracting, and yet so soft, gentle… So touchable, so… kissable.
Dean tried to repress the urge, but it was no use; he was holding it back for way too long. Suddenly, he found himself closing in on the angel's face, breathing quickly and oh, so unable to stop. And then, in the next moment, his lips landed lovingly on Castiel's soft ones. And it felt good. Way too good and way too right, and it scared the hell out of Dean. But he wasn't able to care.
'Man, I'm so gay,' a thought crossed his mind, and he'd laugh at himself if his mouth wouldn't be too busy doing something else.
He then felt a sudden pressure on his torso; the angel's hands were pushing him away. Dean moved away in an instant, slowly realizing what he had just done. He looked up, only to see Castiel's wide open eyes, and the angel's previously puzzled expression now turned into a shocked, almost frightened one.
"Dean… What are you doing?" The expression on angel's face reminded Dean of the one he had earlier in the strip club. So lost, and so innocent. Closing his eyes, Dean thought about the situation he was in. The feelings of desire were washing all over him, but he had to play it cool. So he opened his eyes, put his grinning mask on, and replied: "What does it look like I'm doing? Your last night on Earth and all that… I told you you're not gonna die an inexperienced virgin, not if I have any say to it." Since the angel's face indicated confusion again, Dean added: "So you know… Plan B," making a clapping sound with the corner of his mouth and winked.
"I don't fully comprehend your intentions, Dean. What is it you're trying to say?"
Dean sighed and rolled his eyes: "Dude, you can be such a brat sometimes." He then raised his eyebrows, and still getting no response of comprehension from the angel, he murmured:
"Never mind…"
He then turned the key and slowly drove his Impala away from the parking lot. It was a silent ride, probably because neither of them knew what to say. Not that Dean was really expecting that much of a conversation, especially not from the angel who wasn't really a chatty being and seemed to be saving words for only when he really needed them.
Dean kept glimpsing at the him, but Cas always appeared to be looking straight forward, on the road.
Dean sighed. He was hoping he didn't frighten Cas with his actions and therefore totally ruined the relationship they had. The other one was an angel after all, and despite everything, he was still giving out some kind of an aura of purity and innocence. And he was playing Bert and Ernie with him. Great.
Finally, Dean saw a sign for a motel and make a left turn to park in front of it. It was already late, and since no one was around, Dean was sure as hell hoping it was still open.
"Dean, we only have a few hours until sunrise, when we have to trap Raphael, and I have no need to sleep –"
"Well, we're staying here until then," Dean cut him off, now already slightly irritated. "We'll think about that teenage mutant ninja later."
'Why doesn't he just get it…?' Sure, unlike Cas, he could use some sleep, but that wasn't really the reason for booking in a motel. He was hoping… He was hoping for something else to happen. It probably really was the angel's last night on Earth, and he… didn't want Cas to go without knowing how he really felt about him, as weird and wrong as it may have been.
"C'mon," Dean took Castiel's hand and dragged him towards the motel's front door. He breathed out a sigh of relief, discovering that it was still open. Heading directly towards the reception desk, he glimpsed at Cas, and saw the angel staring at him with an unusual interest. When caught in action, Castiel hastily looked away, pretending to observe something very interesting in front of them. Dean smirked. Maybe it wasn't a dead end after all.
There seemed to be nobody around, so Dean rang the bell on the desk. In a minute, an old man arrived. He obviously just got out of bed, since his eyes were almost glued together, his hair was a mess, and he was still wearing his pajamas. Still yawning, he looked at the two and asked: "King size bed I presume?"
Dean's reflexes already made him say: "No, two singl – " when he frowned and chuckled.
'Ah, what the hell,' he thought and corrected himself: "Yeah, king sized."
He winked at the receptionist, who just rolled his eyes, took the fake credit card Dean was offering him, and gave them the key. "Condoms and lube are at the left side of the bed, in the first drawer! Play it safe!" the man shouted behind them, and after Dean giving him a weird look, he added: "What? You think you're the first two queens here?" He then began to mumble something indistinguishable to himself, exiting the room through the back door, and leaving Dean speechless. 'Funny guy.' He laughed and shook his head.
Still dragging the confused angel behind him, Dean took the stairs to the first floor, where, at the end of the hall way, their room was located. He let go of Cas, quietly unlocked the room and entered. The room wasn't really big, neither was it luxurious, but it still seemed cosy enough.
After closing the door behind them, Dean took off his leather jacket, threw himself on the bed, and began to absently stare at the ceiling.
'Just what am I doing…?'
Such and similar thoughts filled his mind. What the hell was he doing? Did he expect the angel to fall down on his knees and confess he feels the same?
'How can I be such a fool…'
The other one was an angel, who probably knew next to nothing about feelings, not to mention he most likely had no idea how to distinguish between them.
He let out a long sigh. Why did he have to fall for him? For a guy, moreover, an angel? Why couldn't he just get himself a nice hot chick? Or maybe one of those busty Asian beauties… It would probably make it all easier.
Castiel, obviously reacting to Dean's almost sad expression sat down on the edge of the bed and gently poked Dean in his shoulder.
"Dean, you seem disturbed. Is there something wrong?"
Dean stared at the blue, concerned eyes that now seemed to be searching for an answer.
'Damn, why was he just making it all harder?'
Of course there was something wrong. He wanted to love an angel, who he should probably never even touch him. He wanted to hold him, touch him, kiss him, but his senses kept telling him to stop, and he knew he couldn't.
Finally, he took a deep breath and sat up, looking Castiel in the eye. He had to make things clear, but all of his previous courage seemed to ran away as fast as if it would be followed by a really nasty hell hound.
'Ah just do it, Dean!' a voice in his head shouted.
'But I can't…'
'Sure you can, don't be such a pussy!'
'Fine! All right, I'll do it!'
"Cas… I… I like you." There. He said it.
Castiel's face didn't seem to show any change in his expression, he just kept staring at Dean with his curious blue eyes.
"I like you too, Dean," he said calmly.
Dean felt his heart jump at those words, but the ecstatic emotion quickly faded back to a sad one when he realized Cas probably didn't get the true meaning of his words.
"No man… I mean… I really like you," Dean tried his best to explain it better.
"I know what you mean. If I am not mistaken, 'to like' supposedly means 'to be fond of someone'. I am fond of you, Dean. Otherwise I would still be a heaven's servant." The angel paused for a few seconds and then continued: "You are my friend, Dean."
Dean's previously pounding heart now seemed like it would stop beating. A friend. That's all he was to Cas. Of course, how could he ever be foolish enough to believe that maybe, just maybe…
Cas moved closer to Dean and frowned: "Did I perhaps say something wrong?"
Dean let out a painful smile: "No, Cas… No, it's just…" Was it even worth to keep going?
"It's just that… by saying that I like you, I meant something, you know… Deeper."
"What do you mean?"
Dean's patience was running out. 'Man, he's like a kid! So clueless…' And then the next few words burst out before he could hold them in.
"Dammit, it means I'm in love with you, Cas!"
Silence then engulfed the room, during which Cas slightly raised his eyebrows and seemed to be closely observing Dean's face, making Dean a little uncomfortable not really knowing the angel's intentions. Then, raising his head a little, Castiel slowly spoke:
"Define the feeling of love."
Now it was Dean's turn to feel surprised: "What?"
"What exactly does one feel when he is 'in love'?"
Dean raised his eyebrows in disbelief. Why was he asking him about that? He looked at Cas, who seemed to be quietly waiting for the answer. 'What the hell am I supposed to say?'
"Uh… well… Love is not really something you can explain, you see. It's different with everyone – "
"Please try," the angel pleaded.
Dean looked at Cas, let out a loud exhale, and decided to give it a try: "Uh… When you're in love with a certain person, you are exceptionally fond of him. Like, your heart begins to pound harder when you see him, and you begin to feel… warm inside."
Dean felt slightly embarrassed, he felt like a parent giving his child the 'birds and bees' talk. He glimpsed at Castiel to see his reaction, but the angel just sat there and seemed to be listening with interest. So he cleared his throat and continued:
"Well, then…Uh… You are prepared to do everything for that person, as he is the one that seems to make you happy… and… Ah man, cut me some slack, I suck at explaining all this touchy-feely crap!"
Was he just imagining it, or did Cas just smile a little?
"Were you just speaking of personal experience?" the angel asked.
"What? Uh… well, yeah."
Castiel slowly nodded and seemed to be seriously thinking about something, before he asked another question:
"And what action do people usually proceed to take when they find out they're in love with each other?"
Dean's heart began pounding loudly. Did he mean…?
"Uh… they kiss, I suppose," he replied with the first thing that crossed his mind, unable to think very straight.
"I see," a calm reply came.
And then, before realizing what just happened, Dean suddenly felt Castiel's lips against his, kissing him softly, but insecurely, as if not really knowing what to do. Dean opened his eyes widely, having a hard time believing it was really happening. Cas. Kissing him. Then, when he finally fully comprehended the situation, he took the initiative. He closed his eyes and kissed the angel back, pouring all the emotions he had been holding in for so long in that one kiss. When they slowly moved away, Dean could hear the angel silently whisper: "Then, I believe… I am in love with you too, Dean."
Those few short words he wanted to hear for so long were enough to let Dean of his leash. He wrapped his arms around Castiel's neck and kissed him hungrily, and much more passionately he ever kissed any one night stand chick before. He ran his tongue along angel's lips, almost begging for a permission to enter. After a few short moments, Cas seemed to realize Dean's intentions and slightly parted his lips, allowing Dean's tongue to brush against his teeth, and then slowly touch his tongue. The contact made Cas quiver at first, but then he relaxed and interweaved his tongue with Dean's, feeling and tasting it, while curiously exploring his mouth.
Without breaking the kiss, Dean gently pushed the angel onto the bed into a more horizontal position, trapping Cas beneath him. He then slid his tongue out of Castiel's mouth and slowly licked his chin. He then moved higher, along the other's jawline, making the angel raise his chin like a cat that wishes to be petted. His tongue then slid lower, towards the neck, gently sucking on the perfect, angelic skin. He could hear Castiel's breathing get faster, he could feel his body responding to every lick, and it made him feel really good.
Dean then pulled himself higher to face the angel again, and gently gripping his wrists on both sides, he went back to kissing Cas; first on his forehead, then nose, cheeks and lips, running his fingers through Castiel's hair while doing so. Then he began to take the angel's trench coat off his shoulders, and it wasn't long before it was laying on the floor a few meters away, immediately followed by Dean's leather jacket and t-shirt. Castiel then, not really knowing what to do next, began to unbutton his own shirt, but was stopped by Dean's hand in the next moment.
"Woah, easy there tiger," Dean grinned, but then looked at him lovingly and whispered in his ear: "I'll do I for ya, angel." He winked and then laughed at Cas' nervous expression, slowly untying the blue tie first, and then began to slowly open his shirt, button by button, while teasing him by caressing the skin beneath. Once the shirt was off, Dean couldn't help himself but to admire the other's body, even though he knew it was just a body of a vessel. He closed in on the angel's torso, softly kissing his collarbone, and then proceeded to run his tongue along the middle line of angel's chest, right down to his belly button, and then lower… He could hear Castiel's breathing turning into a quiet whimper as he began to unzip the angel's trousers, continuing to tease him with his tongue.
Cas could now feel something like a bulge growing in his pants, and every time Dean's tongue got a bit closer to it, it drove the angel crazy. He had never experienced feelings such as these until now. Like he had told Dean, there's never been an occasion. But as weird and wrong as it may have been, he was glad he got to experience them with Dean.
Not really recalling when it happened, Castiel's pants were, along with his underwear, thrown somewhere towards the door, with the belt making a metal noise of landing. No one seemed to care.
As Dean revealed Castiel's lower parts, he felt like a virgin all over again. Sure, he was used to please women all the time but… He had never done it with a man, and he was not really sure how to go on from here.
'What if he doesn't like it?'
Cas, seeing Dean hesitate for a second, pulled him back up, reassuring him by pulling him into a long, passionate kiss, wrapping his arms around Dean's waist while doing so. His hands then slowly travelled to the button of Dean's jeans, and as he somehow managed to unbutton and unzip them, Dean's hands then helped him with pulling them off. The only thing left now were Winchester's black boxers, which were, after Dean broke the kiss for a second, soon kicked off too, now leaving Dean completely naked and wearing nothing but his necklace.
Lowering his head to Castiel's intimate parts again, he gently fisted the angel's half hard erection and slowly began to stroke, making the already aroused angel gasp for air, grabbing the sheets with his fist.
"Dean…"
Seeing Cas like this made him feel the blood rushing into his manhood. Man, he looked hot.
When Dean let go of his shaft, the angel made a sound of a protest, but wasn't left waiting for too long before Dean started again, bringing him to a state of ecstasy, again. And again, and again.
Then, when leaning back into a kiss, their members rubbed together, creating that delicious, pleasurable friction, causing both men to moan. It felt so good, so damn good, as Dean closed his eyes and wished it could last forever.
"Dean… My body… seems to need more… " Dean heard Cas whimper quietly.
Dean sat up and looked at Cas seriously: "Man, are you sure? I mean, this –"
"I am sure, Dean." The look in angel's eyes was so determined, so absolute, that it caught Dean completely unprepared and unable to talk back. He kissed Castiel's forehead as gently as he possibly could, and then asked Cas to turn around. Now facing the angel's back, Dean ran his tongue along the vessel's spine, and then between his ass cheeks, stopping at the little pinky hole in the middle. He ran his tongue around it a couple of times, caressing the skin on his thighs at the same time. He could feel angel's muscles tensing, and even trembling a little.
'What now?'
The theory seemed to be at least kind of clear to him, but practice, however, was a completely different thing. Oh, right, lube! He needed lube. Where did the old man say it was again? Something about the left side of the bed… He quickly turned to the left and opened the first drawer, where he indeed found a pack of condoms and a tube of lube. Not wanting to leave Castiel waiting, he quickly took them out and smeared some of the lube over his fingers.
"You ready, Cas?" he asked, and, when seeing the angel nod, he pushed the first finger in, as slowly and gently as he possibly could. He felt Cas tense, so he decided to wait for a few seconds, and then probed in a little further, making circular motions, trying to stretch the tight rubbery walls currently clasping his finger. After a short period of time, he now inserted a second finger, causing the angel to arch his back and holding back to scream from pleasure. It wasn't long before the third finger could fit in with no effort, and the angel had already pulled the sheets half way over the bed, grabbing them like his life depended on it. Seeing the man he loved like this made Dean aroused more than he would ever imagine it would.
Slowly sliding his fingers out of Cas, he lightly touched the other one's shoulder, indicating for him to turn around. Cas' eyes were now wide open, his eyebrows were raised and he was breathing rather quickly. When Dean was facing the angel again, he laid his lips on Castiel's again, trying to calm the slightly nervous angel down.
"Shhh… It's okay, Cas," he whispered lightly, gently caressing the other's skin.
"I am... fine, Dean. Please, go ahead," the angel pleaded with an almost desperate voice.
Seeing Castiel's erection already dripping with precum, Dean obeyed and, even though nervous himself, placed himself at the angel's entry. Looking Cas in the eye he slowly began to push in, inch by inch. The angel gasped for air, his eyes watering at the slight feeling of pain. As hard and agonizing as it was, Dean stopped for a second, waiting for Cas to give him any sign to indicate he may go on. As Cas closed his eyes and slowly nodded, Dean could hardly wait any longer and it wasn't long before he was all in. The tight angel walls were clasping Dean's member, as he slowly began to move, going deeper with every thrust.
Castiel's body parts now seemed to be completely out of control; his whole body was trembling with pleasurable sensation, his head was quickly turning from one side to another, and his legs would probably already gave up on him hadn't he placed them on the hunter's shoulders, wrapping them around his neck. The feelings of right and wrong kept mixing in both of their minds, but it was too late; they were already past the point of no return.
Deep inside the angel, Dean was losing his head, thrusting in harder and faster over and over again. His mind lost the ability to think, and all that was now guiding him was his instinct.
Castiel now let his legs travel to the lower part of Dean's back, wrapping them around his waist, trying to pull him as deep as possible and therefore causing Dean to hit the angel's prostate. Cas was now unable to hold back, and he screamed out in pleasure, digging his fingers into Dean's back, and hadn't his vessel's nails been so well taken care of, he would probably leave red marks on the hunter's already sweaty skin. Then, letting his arms fall back down, he accidentally brushed against the hand print he had once left on Dean's shoulder, making the Winchester shudder and throw his head back, obviously enjoying the feeling, as he felt something building inside him, and he knew he wasn't far away from his orgasm. Without being really sure what he was doing, he fisted the angel's manhood and began stroking again. Now it was Castiel's turn to throw his head back, as he felt his muscles tensing and shaking uncontrollably. His eyes shut tight and then opened widely again, as his whole body now tensed, reaching the top and now flying away in the feeling of an orgasm.
"Oh God… Dean!" Castiel's voice echoed all over the room.
Dean could swear that for a second, he was able to see a shadow of the angel wings beneath Cas, spreading majestically, as if he was about to fly. But he wasn't able to tell for sure; he felt the angel's walls tighten around his shaft, and it wasn't too long before he was floating too, releasing his body liquid inside the angel's body.
Neither of them had any idea how much time had passed before they both collapsed in each other's arms, their bodies shining if sweat. Exhausted, but… happy.
Dean slowly slid out of Cas, kissing him lightly while doing so. He then placed himself next to Cas, and for a while they just lay there, in silence.
"Hey, Cas," Dean's voice broke the quiet atmosphere, and of course, he wouldn't be himself if he didn't insert a smidge of sarcasm into the situation: "Maaan, now that's what it means to have heavenly sex." He grinned as though he had just told the funniest joke ever. The angel tilted his head, obviously not understanding the metaphor, to which Dean just frowned, and shook his head, laughing: "Dude, you're so lame."
He then saw Cas was shivering a little, so he got up and returned with the angel's trench coat and draped it around his shoulders.
"So you won't catch a cold," he murmured, not really caring about the fact that the other one was an angel and therefore couldn't even get sick. Castiel nodded seriously, but the absent expression in his eyes made Dean think. What if he wasn't as okay with this as he thought? What if… what if he hurt him in some way? What if…?
"Cas... Are you…?"
The angel seemed to read his mind, as he looked at him and replied calmly:
"Dean, I full on rebelled against heaven, iniquity is one of the perks," he said in a completely serious voice.
Hearing the words he himself spoke to Cas a few hours ago repeated back to him made Dean smile, and he lovingly leaned onto the angel's shoulder.
'My angel.'