--- A Slayers Fanfiction by Winged Dancer.
To be transformed had never been a good thing. He had always hated it, from the moment it started, with all of his soul.
But, there had always been persons around him supporting him. Zolf and Rodimus, above everyone, had been loyal to him, and had helped keep his morale up. It had been silly of him to think they would always stay with him, though - they had both died while helping defend the keep they used as a home.
At that moment, he had felt lonely. It was not that he wasn't used to being lonely; since he rather enjoyed solitude and would look for it often. But, to know that there's no one left in this world in whom you can rely on times of need, no one to be close to you or to talk to while being simply yourself, hiding nothing - that was true loneliness. And he disliked it.
Zelgadiss Graywords was a monster, 'bred' by his own grandfather; a powerful magician that had gone mad in the search of a cure for his blindness.
His skin was literally made of rock, abrasive rock that would hurt most skins. To caress someone was out of the question - it was enough to leave a red trail behind his fingers, one punch had been enough to kill a man once. To make it better, his grandfather had somehow managed to put a demon inside of him as well, or so he thought; since his magic ability had increased dramatically, and his pupils had become two thin slits that looked, in one word, evil.
He had once been human, but now, so little of the old him remained, he was starting to doubt he had ever been human at all.
The bars that kept him prisoner didn't help, either.
How had that happened…? How did he end up captive; him, a powerful sorcerer, a cunning strategist?
He had been searching, as always, for a way to undo the spell put on him by his grandfather. For five months after the deaths of his friends, he didn't leave the keep, using only the books he had gathered. But, as he had been fearing, the books ran out of information, and he was forced to leave.
And one day, he had woken up in a cage.
He couldn't explain what had happened - he wasn't an easy prey to get, and yet he had been captured.
The best he could think was that he had been tracked (He could remember hearing footsteps behind him maybe about a week before he had been captured, but hadn't paid attention to them), and once he had fallen asleep, a spell of some kind had been used to prevent him of waking up, and he had been carried to the wagon.
The man responsible for his capture was not a dumb one. He looked to be extremely stupid - fat, bald, greasy, with a goofy grin always plastered in his face. But, he was extremely clever; and used his appearance to his advantage, tricking whomever was dumb enough to fall to his tricks.
Zelgadiss had been trapped for almost two years now.
He would've escaped a long time ago, if it wasn't because the fat man had taken so many precautions: The cage he was in was built with magic-proof enhance orihalcon, and thanks to the new technology, the metal would send an electric shock to whomever touched the bars.
He hated the bars. He hated the food. He hated the 'Master', along with his greasy smirk that always said 'You are mine, and you can't escape'.
But, above everything, Zelgadiss hated that he was being used as some sort of show freak; an animal the greasy dolt used to gain money.
Whenever they were close to a town, the many wagons would stop, and many more cages would be put on display. The next days, all of the villagers came to visit; to watch the fascinating creatures trapped behind the bars.
A young, handsome boy would stand at the top of a wooden box, explaining everything to whomever passed by.
"Come see the wonders and mistakes of nature!! Beauty and horror together, my friends, for only three silver pieces!!" The boy cried, waving his hands elegantly. "The most beautiful unicorn, the terrible manticore!! The hydra, the Cyclops, wonders from far-away lands!! A siren, animals from Hell itself, all behind bars - the most monstrous things of creation, just for you to see!!"
Zelgadiss knew perfectly well he was in that last category.
He knew because he saw how people reacted when passing next to his cage - gaping, gasping, turning around in fright, scrunching their noses in disgust. Women were terrified, men, amused.
He was treated as if there was no soul inside of his stone hide… as if he had no feelings at all, as if he couldn't think nor speak, as if he was just a rock.
After the capture, he had first been enraged; and how could he not? Wearing nothing but a dirty and ragged loincloth that covered only his noble parts, all of his much-hated body was left for everyone to see; he received little food whose taste was worse than wild roots and he had little children gaping at him while asking their mothers if 'the thing' could bite.
It was, no doubt, the worst that had could have happened to his pride.
After the rage, however, came the depression. What was the use of being angry, if all he got was even less food, worse treatment and more mocking laughs? During this second stage, he would only lie in his cage, as further away from the public as he could (And that wasn't much, given the dimensions of his cage), ignoring the comments or the measly rations, ignoring the customers yelling at him to move or throwing random curse words. He was slowly killing himself, not wanting to live the daily humiliation any longer.
It was not 'till during the 8th month of capture that he decided to leave the depression behind him… during a particular rainy night, he realized that he was starting to hate everything: The cage, the bars, the rain, the night, the day, himself, men, women, children, green grass, rotten grass, dyed fruits he sometimes got for breakfast, water, his curse, his grandfather, the greasy man that acted as Master, everything.
And, he realized that even though he hated all those things, there was no point in killing himself: His grandfather was dead, and therefore he couldn't take revenge on him, but the greasy man was alive; and therefore, he could kill him instead. He could have his revenge after all.
So, Zelgadiss started eating again. During the day, he would no longer sit and mope - he would move, pace around the cage, still ignoring the customers, but always planning his escape. His revenge. They would all come one day. And that day, he'd be happy.
Notes: Inspired at and by the Cirque Du Soleil - Alegria, for some unknown reason. Other things that inspired this:
'The Last Unicorn' (Peter S. Beagle) - I wasn't thinking of it while writing, but the influence is clearly there.
'Idylls', by Ryo Hoshi - Another Slayers fic where Zel suffers of things like this, but it's also quite different from this. Go read it.
'The Catcher in the Rye' (J.D. Salinger) - Don't ask.
This is half-an-AU fic; set in the Thirties or so in America - you have the Great Depression and magic at the same time, but magic is only used by select families with lots of background. I don't know how historically-accurate this is, but that's not my intention either.
There's no romance here - Xellos and Filia are engaged, but there's no mush at all. For any other couple; don't expect much.
Next chapter to be posted next week, on Tuesday as well.