AN: Here it is! VocaloidTales (VocaTales) is our (my partner and I) original series. I write the stories, my partner reviews it :) Since there is no category for Utauloids yet, I couldn't make a crossover. But please be advised Utauloids ARE included in the story. The main protagonists you'll see in almost every story are Len Kagamine, Rin Kagamine, Miku Hatsune, Namine Ritsu and Kaito. Happy reading!
Finally the virtual popstar roommates would arrive back to the Vocaloid Manor. They had just arrived from a tiresome tour around illuminated New York and were desperate to arrive back home.
IA, Yukari, One and Ruko immediately rushed upstairs, eager to see if someone had posted their performances online on Nico Nico Douga.
A few didn't come on the tour and remained home. The ones in charge were Gumi and Meiko. Meiko promised to take care of the house while they were away, and Gumi-
Well, Gumi didn't promise anything. She just wasn't involved in any of the performances.
"FINALLY WE'RE HOME!" Miku hollered holding two full suitcases, and perfect teal pigtails formed in her hair. "I HAVEN'T HAD THE CHANCE TO BRUSH MY HAIR FOR TWO WEEKS!" She put her bags down.
"Dude, it looks fine," Rin sluggishly entered the room.
"Excuse me? No," Miku disagreed. "No, no, no. Hell no. You can obviously see one hair is out of place."
Rin squinted her eyes. "Where?"
Miku scoffed. "Come on, Rin! First you're lying to me, and now you're blind! Unacceptable!" she opened the dark blue suitcase and took out a hand mirror, and held it up her scalp. "Don't you see?"
Rin got up, and examined her hair. "Miku, it looks fine," she sighed.
Suddenly, a horrifically high, blood curdling screech was heard across the Vocaloid Manor. They all turned around in panic, to find a sobbing Len; his knees on the tiled floor. "WHERE ARE MY BANANAS!" he cried out, soon fiercely eyeing Gumi. "GUMI! YOU ATE MY BANANAS!" Len yelled.
"Nice to see you, too," Gumi rolled her eyes, replying in a sarcastic tone.
Len stood up from his bended knees, and walked ferociously to Gumi. "Before we left two weeks ago, I left six bananas on the counter for me. And, guess what?! THEY'RE GONE! And I know Meiko wouldn't do that to me, so it can only be you!" Before Gumi could protest, Ritsu suddenly walked up to the two, and purple-nurpled Len.
Len yelped, as Ritsu pulled him from the shirt dragging him away from Gumi. "Len, I'm going to be honest with you," he looked solemnly at Len, which quickly transitioned to a stern face. "WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT YOUR DAMN BANANAS?!" He yelled.
Len gave a pained face. "THEY WEREN'T JUST BANANAS!" He cried. "THEY WERE MY FRIENDS! THE ONLY ONES THAT UNDERSTOOD ME BETTER THAN YOU PATHETIC BASTARDS!" Len looked down, sadly. "They even took Martha," he sobbed.
They all started at him blankly. "Who the hell is Martha?" Ritsu interrogated.
"My girlfriend!" Len wiped his fresh tears.
"WHAT?!" Tei shouted, running up to Len.
Ritsu gave a 'um, you have issues,' face. "Your girlfriend is a banana?" a few snickers were heard from the background.
"She was going to be my wife," Len explained. "I was going to propose to her this week!"
Ritsu stared at him. "Fine," he said. "I'll buy you another banana to marry and make out with," he rolled his eyes.
"It won't be the same!" Len wailed. Another cry was heard, but it blended in with Len's wailing, that it took a while to discover.
Soon, some Vocaloids started to look around to find the mysterious crybaby. "What's that?" Luka asked to no one in particular, but it brought everyone's attention. They all investigated, until they saw Gumi with a male baby.
They all came over to Gumi. "Um, why is there a baby in the house?" Luka inquired.
"He was alone at the mall, so I took him in," Gumi explained.
"YOU KIDNAPPED A BABY?!" Rin yelled.
"Well," Gumi looked at the baby. "It's not exactly kidnapping if you're taking him without his parent's consent and providing him with food and the proper care."
"Newsflash," Rin glared at her. "It is."
"Come on guys!" Gumi exclaimed as Kaito walked by, snatching him to her side. "Kaito's a baby and we still kept him!" Kaito looked at her with a pained look on his face.
"Len, hold me I'm hurt," Kaito sobbed, wrapping himself into an embrace on the 'banana boy'.
"Ew. What? No!" Len pushed him off. Kaito still remained. Len sighed. Tei kicked Kaito away.
"Kaito!" Len yelled, as he watched his friend depart and crash through the wall. "Tei! What did you that for?!"
"So you are gay for him," Tei folded her arms, looking away; then suddenly looking back, love struck. "No matter! If anyone will hug you, it's me!" Tei hugged him, ignoring Len's efforts to push her off.
Ruby cleared her throat. Lily spoke up. "I'm sorry to interrupt your 'soap opera', but I think you forgot that GUMI KIDNAPPED A BABY!"
"Aw, come on, guys!" Gumi sighed. "If we're going to hold him hostage, lets at least give him a name!" Gumi thought for a moment. "Salad," she smirked.
As if on cue, Kokone walked into the room. She looked at the baby and squealed. "Ahh! It's so cute!" She snatched the baby out of Gumi's hands.
"Hey!" Gumi exclaimed. "Did you go out kidnapping babies? Unbelievable!" She folded her arms.
"I'll name you Zachary!" she smiled at the baby.
"What?!" Gumi looked up. "Salad is a better name than Zachary!"
"Do you want to go to bed? Yes you want to go to bed," Kokone went upstairs to her room, as Meiko followed.
"I'm going to help her with the baby," Meiko alleged.
"Oh, no you're not!" Gumi yelled. "We're going to the daycare and dropping it off."
Len looked at her. "I thought you didn't want to get rid-"
"SHUT UP, LEN!" Gumi shouted. Len whimpered.
"Kaito hold me, I'm hurt," Len embraced Kaito, who's irises turned into stars, as he mouth a soft 'yes'.
Kokone's face was flushed, but no tears came out. She seemed bothered, but her voice remained understanding. "Alright," she nodded. Gumi, Aoki, and Rana came with her.
At the daycare, there were plenty of babies that looked EXACTLY THE SAME. "Okay, drop it off," Gumi whisked her hand.
Rana eyed the baby. "Yeah, good bye baby. I'm the only cute one in the house!"
Kokone looked at another duplicate of Zachary and threw him across the room. Gumi shrieked, running over to catch him. "ARE YOU INSANE?! YOU THREW A BABY!" she shouted; but was ignored by Kokone. Gumi grumbled.
"Oh…my…GOSH! Isn't he adorable?!" She held up another baby.
Gumi looked at Zachary, than the other baby. "Honestly, the both looked the same to me. And, trust me. They couldn't get any prettier. Now, put that baby down and let's go!"
"No!" Kokone refused. "Poor babies! They don't have parents!" Tears filled her eyes.
"Um, yes they do,' Gumi said. "This is a daycare. Not an orphanage."
"I'm going to adopt them all!" Kokone smiled, conceited.
"WHAT?!" Gumi yelled.
Before they knew it, the manor was engulfed with twenty seven babies. "I thought you were going to get rid of them," Rin grumbled.
"I tried…" Gumi's gaze fell to the floor. "I'm surprised they even allowed us to take these babies," she turned on the television.
"Breaking News!" The reporter exclaimed. "It was brought to the attention of parents that their babies have gone missing after providing them in the trust of daycares. Are they the ones to blame? This is William Smith on 'Stupid News'."
Rin and Gumi looked at each other.
Suddenly, cops came bursting through the doors. The Vocaloids put their hands up. "You have the right to remain silent!" One of the cops yelled.
"Seriously?" Ruby put her hands down. "'You have the right to remain silent'? That's so cliché!"
This time the cops remained silent, as ONE, Ruko, IA, and Yukari came down the stairs to see what all the noise was about. At that moment, the police grabbed all of the Vocaloids, fanloids, and UTAUloids in sight, and swiftly putting handcuffs on all them. Before they knew it, they were in a jail cell.
"NOO!" Len sobbed. "THIS IS HORRIBLE!" he got onto his knees, his chest tightening. "NOW I'LL NEVER GET TO HAVE MY BANANAS!"
Most of the people in the cell, looked at him oddly. Ritsu rolled his eyes.
"This is so unfair!" Haku banged the cell wall, crushed by Gakupo. "We didn't do anything! Plus, Gakupo is breathing on me," her voice sounded disgusted, yet derivative.
"Same here, sister," Neru called from across the cell. "But I got Ritsu!"
"Hey, it's not my fault I'm heavy!" Ritsu shouted straight into Neru's eardrums.
"Um, yeah, it kind of is," Neru gasped for air under the twenty five ton boy.
"Oh stop whining!" Zatsune yelled from an unknown location. "Big Al's pits smells like a dog barfed in the dump!" They all searched for Big Al, and saw Zatsune's hand dramatically grasping in the air, wheezing. "BIG AL, GET OFF BEFORE I LITERALLY KILL YOU!"
Big Al rushed off, and bumped into Prima, and then they had invented the most fun game in JAIL history!
Real life Vocaloid domino.
They all fell onto the floor, as a beautiful symphony of whining and shouting plagued the jail cell. As they all got up weakly, Tei refused to get off Len. "I got Len!" she shouted. "MY JAIL PARTNER IS LEN!" Tei started to fantasize. "We're going to date, get married, and grow old together!"
"Um, no we're not!" Len tried to kick her off. "Because I'm already dating…uh," his eyes searched for the most believable and reliable Vocaloid. "Miku!" Tei looked in shock, and then eyed Miku fiercely. "Right Miku?"
"Wha-huh?" Miku looked around to find Len. "Am I supposed to say yes?"
Lily elbowed Miku. "Yes you nitwit!" She attempted to get Ritsu off of her. "RITSU GET OFF ME!"
"It's not my fault! Sheesh!" Ritsu slowly staggered through the cluttered cell, and leaned on the wall.
"Um," Miku saw Len being engulfed by Tei. "Yes!" she said, unsure of what she was saying 'yes' to.
"See?" Len kicked Tei off. "We are dating!"
"Wait…what?!" Miku exclaimed.
Tei got in yandere mode and leaped angrily on top of the Vocaloids and UTAUloids to get to Miku. She jumped on Kaito. "I'M NOT MIKU. I'M NOT MIKU!" He yelled, waving his arms in the air, hitting Haku.
"Hey you! Blue baby!" Haku grabbed Kaito's arm. "Stop it before I cut it off!" Kaito immediately brought his hand back, and blocked it from her sight.
Luka looked around. "Where's IA and Yukari? They're not in the cell with us."
The rest of the group started to explore, until Kokone looked across their cell. "Wait, there they are!" She pointed to the cell across them.
In there, IA and Yukari were making out. IA's hand was encircling Yukari's back. Yukari's hand ventured through IA's neck to her waist, letting out a soft moan.
They all groaned. "HEY YOU! PURPLE HAIRED TWERP!" Ritsu yelled, banging the cell. "IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE OUT, AT LEAST DO IT SOMEWHERE IN YOUR CELL WE CAN'T SEE!"
Kaito looked glumly at Len. "But," he whimpered. "How come Len and I didn't get a cell to that?"
The group stared at him deeply disturbed for a moment. Haku glanced at IA at Yukari's cell and back their own cell. "Yeah, why didn't you?" She eyed Gakupo in disgust. "Why didn't we all! I don't want to be with…him," she shuddered.
"Hey wait a minute," Gumi's body perked up. "Hey you! Police officer!" She pointed to a chubby man, that looked more like a slacker than a police. "Don't we get a phone call?"
"Yeah, alright," The man shrugged without a care in the world, putting a phone on the table in front of the cell.
"Who should I call?" Gumi asked.
They all thought for someone they didn't take to jail. "Maiko!" SeeU told her.
Gumi dialed the VocaManor's phone number. "Hello-ello?," Maiko answered.
"Maiko, we're in JAIL, long story. Can you-"
"Which JAIL?" Maiko inquired.
"Um, the one by the BOGOS Market," Gumi replied.
"Bogos or bogos?" Maiko asked.
Gumi was blank. "What?"
"Bogos with a lower case or capital B?" Maiko interoggated.
"Capital B! That JAIL!" Gumi almost yelled.
"Which JAIL though?"
Gumi let out a frustrated cry. "JAIL! WE'RE IN JAIL!"
"Justice Approved In Labor JAIL?" Maiko asked.
Gumi sighed. "No, we're in Japanese Association Industry of Lesbians."
Maiko sucked her breath. "Right, I'll come pick you up," she hung up the call.
"What'd she say?" Len asked, impatiently.
"She said she'll bail us soon," Gumi smiled, pleased by the answer.
1 Derpy Year Later
The wall Ritsu was leaning on started to dent violently as the others laid on the floor impatiently. "WHERE IS SHE?!" Rin yelled.
Gumi sighed. "Excuse me," she called the police offer that was watching the cell. "Can I call someone?" The officer shrugged approvingly.
Gumi called the manor again. "Hello?" Maiko answered, hurriedly.
"Hello, little liar," Gumi replied, displeased. "Where are you? It's been a YEAR!"
"Sorry! I've been helping this daycare that's lost all their babies! They said they adopted them from an orphanage, and they've all gotten missing! Haven't you seen? It's all over the news!"
Gumi looked as if that were the stupidest thing ever. "Yeah, right, missing. Okay, bye," she hung up furiously.
"Let's call someone else," Tonio offered.
They thought for a moment. "Let's call Sonika,"
Rin got the telephone from Gumi and dialed Sonika's number. "Yeah?" Sonika answered.
"Sonika! Thank goodness you answered! We're in Japanese Association Industry of Lesbians-"
"So, JAIL, right?"
"Yes. We need you to bail us out!" Rin pleaded.
"Um…I don't think I can help you there…" Sonika sucked her breath. "So, I was on a trip on a boat with Ketchup-"
"Ketchup?" Rin repeated.
"The baby," Sonika answered. "Anyways, we fell off, and we're lost in the Atlantic Ocean…"
"WHAT?!" Rin exclaimed.
"I know right! It's great!" Sonika giggled. "Ketchup is learning how to swim from the dolphins, Mateo and Rodrigo."
"Wha-how?" Rin interrogated.
"Oh, there's a rescue boat! I got to go!" Sonika hung up the call.
Rin groaned, and looked at the questioning faces of the group. "Lost at sea," she grumbled. "Let's call someone else," she suggested.
"I'm afraid you can't," the officer took the phone away from her. "You've exceeded your limit," he explained. "Guess you'll have to wait until next year."
Suddenly, Ristu's weight broke the cell wall. She, along with other Vocaloids, fell on top of her. The pressure triggering his boobs to…well…explode.
BOOM!
They had to be put in solitary until their cell was repaired, plus federal charges. "250,000 dollars? God damn it Ritsu!" Rin looked at the bill.
"Well on the bright side," Kaito looked at Ritsu. "You're lighter, now."
"THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING!" Ritsu shouted into Kaito's face, and then sighed. "My missile tits are for defense. You triggered the last set I had, and in order to refill my boobs, I have to do it at home, where I have my equipment."
They all started at him. Miku folded her arms, raising her eyebrows. "Never thought I'd hear that in a sentence."
"I don't think ANY of us expected to hear that crap in a sentence, idiot," Zatsune snapped.
Finally the cell was repaired, and they were allowed to come out from solitary. "Can I call someone now?" Gumi asked the police officer after some time. He gave a grunt of agreement.
Len got the phone from Gumi. "Remember Kokone," Len said. "This is all your fault."
"My fault?!" Kokone exclaimed. "Gumi brought the baby in the first place!"
"I just brought the one!" Gumi replied, defensively.
Len rolled his eyes dialing the phone. "Who are you calling?" Miku asked.
"Shut up, honey. We're dating now, so I can say that," Len smirked.
"Um, no, boo, I'm older," she smiled.
"SHUT UP!" Ritsu yelled. "YOU'RE NOT EVEN REALLY DATING!"
They both turned around, giving him a death glare. "I'm calling Maika," he alleged to Miku, dialing the phone number.
"Hello?" Maika answered.
"Before I saw anything," Len inhaled. "Do you know anyone who isn't lost at sea or over the rainbow?"
"Well," Maika thought for a moment. "My friend is over the rainbow now, and I have to pick up Sonika from the dock later. She was lost at sea."
Len sighed. "Forget Sonika. Buy me two dozens of bananas, and pick us up from JAIL!"
"JAIL? Which one?" Maika asked.
"Japanese Association Industry of Lesbians," he answered, far from mirthful tone.
"Right, I'll be there soon," she hung up.
Another Year in Solitary Because Ritsu Broke The Cell Wall
Miku yelled in frustration. "WHERE THE HELL IS MAIKA?!" Miku shook Kaito cataclysmic nature. "WHERE IS SHE?!"
"Like I know!" Kaito shrugged.
"Okay," Len said, grabbing everyone's attention. "We get one more call for the rest of our time in jail. Let's make these worth it."
He got the phone. "Lets call…Fukase," he was about to dial, until he saw Fukase being pushed into a cell. "Fukase?!" They all exclaimed.
"What are you doing here?" Kokone asked.
"Well," he sucked his breath. "There was a news crew outside pointing their camera on me without my knowledge. I dropped a penny, and accidentally mooned a whole nation. Apparently, it's 'illegal'," Fukase explained.
"How about-" Suddenly, they saw Maiko being put in a cell. "Maiko?" Len called.
Maiko turned. "Oh, hey," she smiled, sheepishly.
"What are you doing here?" Gumi asked. "And why didn't you pick us up?"
"Apparently I've been helping an illegal orphanage find their babies! I had no idea! Since I helped them, I'm in here for two weeks. How long have you been in?"
"This is more like prison," Rin rolled her eyes. "We've been in here for almost three years," she sighed.
"Let's call," they looked around. "Aoki Lapis! She could've just flew out!"
The phone rang, until she picked up. "Hello?" Aoki answered, as you could hear water gushing.
"Aoki!" Len exclaimed. "Please! Bail us out from jail!"
"Jail? I would, but I don't know where I am! It's filled with some white liquid, and a small cap with three holes-"
"You're in a milk bottle?!" Len almost shouted.
"Oh, I am? Oh my gosh! I AM" A small scream was heard from the telephone.
"Aoki? She's in a milk bottle?" Gumi whispered to Len. "Oh yeah, she never came back when we went to the daycare…"
"Um, just try to fly out of the holes…oh, and call the manor and please ask them to bail us out! We're in Japanese Association Industry of Lesbians!"
"Alright, bye," She hung up.
Soon, Meiko and Teto came, and bailed them out. "THANK YOU!" They all shouted, hugging them, until they were able to drown in a group of pale bodies.
"WHERE WERE YOU GUYS?" Neru shouted. "I HAD NO CELL SERVICE!"
"We were in the Caribbean," Meiko shrugged, drinking some sake (sah-kee).
"By the way," Teto got up from the floor, after being engulfed by her friends. "You guys are banned from the Caribbean," she said.
"Do we have to go?" Ruko asked. "I kind of liked it here."
They all came back, much more enthusiastic to come home than when they came back from the tour, and literally danced naked around the whole place.
Ritsu went to his room and put his refill of boobs. "That's better," he smiled.
Len walked by, and knocked on the door. Ritsu opened it. "What do you want?"
"I see you, uh, refilled your…boobs," Len looked down at her breast, sheepishly while eating a banana.
Ritsu slammed the door, as if offended. "The wedding is at 6:00!" Len shouted through the door.
Later at 6:00, in the in-home cathedral that they had for some reason, Len wore a tuxedo, and the banana wore a bridesmaid dress they bought for dogs.
Len started tearing up a bit, and started to proclaim his vow. "I vow to love you, encourage you, trust you, and respect you. As a family, we will create a home filled with learning, laughter, and compassion. I promise to work with you to foster and cherish a relationship of equality knowing that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone. Today, I choose you to be my wife. I accept you as you are, and I offer myself in return. I will care for you, stand beside you, and share with you all of life's adversities and all of its joys from this day forward, and all the days of my life."
They all looked at the banana. It was silent, but whatever works for Len. Ritsu sighed regretting getting him a new Martha. "Do you, Len, promise to take care of your wife, in sickness and in health?"
"I do," Len nodded.
"And you…you banana, do you vow to take care of your husband, in sickness and in health, and even if Len gets hit by a car because of his stupidity?"
"Wait what?"
"DO YOU BANANA?" Ritsu yelled. They were all silent, as he waited for a 'respond' from the banana. "Right," he sighed. "If anyone objects to this marriage, please speak, now-"
"I OBJECT!" Miku, Kaito and Tei yelled across the cathedral.
"I love him!" Tei 'admitted'.
"He was dating me!" Miku yelled.
"He's too hot for her!" Kaito shouted.
Len looked at them with a pleading face. They sighed. "Never mind," Miku rolled her eyes.
Ritsu looked at them. "You may now eat the banana."
Applauds were heard across the cathedral, and Len ate the banana. With a full mouth, he said. "I always will love you Martha. Do you love me?"
Apparently not. Later he was vomiting in the bathroom because of that banana. "Guess it wasn't meant to be," Ritsu laughed.
And there it is! I really hope you enjoyed it! Please review x3 If you liked it, our next one is the voca/utauloids go to Mexico! Hm. I wonder what will happen there... Thanks for reading!