Bled Space 2
Chapter 1: Default Hospital Level
It was a nice Vacation. I was able to finish a couple babyfur stories. But now I have to get back to boring old Parodies, such as this one. Sorry it took so long, I was still focusing on some of my Babyfur stories. Let me know if your a babyfur by the way, I love meeting new babyfurs.
A video link of a guy in bed opened. He was clutching a charmander plushie. Then, a small window with a blonde girl opened.
"Oh sorry. I forgot it was your nap time." The girl said.
"Oh don't worry. It's always good to see you Nicole." The guy said.
"Listen, are you alright with my new job?" The girl asked.
"Of course. I've always loved that profession" The guy said before a look of confusion appeared on his face. "What was your job again?"
"I'm a medical officer on the USG Ishimura." The girl said.
"Oh right! Uhh, the Ishumira? What the hell kind of name is that?" The guy asked.
"It's Ishimura. Are you sure I should stick with this?" Nicole asked.
"Of course. It's not like your going to get invaded by monsters." Isaac said.
Suddenly, the feed began to break up. A doctor began speaking to the man who was on the video, who is now in a straight jacket across from him.
"Mr. Clarke, do you remember this?" The Doctor asked.
"I, uh, huh, wha." The man said.
"Mr. Clarke, what happened to you on that ship?" The Doctor asked.
"My, babeh runned off." The man said.
"Oh god, I shouldn't have given him hallucinogens." The Doctor said.
The Doctor then began interviewing another person. It was a man in a blue vest over his straight jacket.
"Now Mr. Osmond, why did you go to the Ishimura?" The Doctor asked.
"All I wanted to do was go to a fucking scavenger sale. Is that too much to ask?" The man asked.
"A scavenger sale? Who told you that?" The doctor asked.
"My arch-enemy, Theodore Holmes." Richard said.
"And what happened to this Theodore Holmes?" The Doctor asked.
"He got flattened on that stupid planet." Richard said.
Meanwhile, on Aegis 7...
2 guys in engineering suits like the ones Isaac wore were looking around the volatile landscape.
"What kind of brand is this Marker? Is it a sharpie?" The first asked.
"No, it's some stupid obelisk thing." The other said.
"Then why don't we call it The obelisk" The first asked.
"What the hell is this?" The second one asked.
The guy picked up a scorched Parka.
"Why don't you put that on? Your always saying your 'too cool for the ladies'." The first one said.
"Oh fuck off." The second one said.
"Jesus Christ!" The first one yelled.
"What the-holy fucking shitballs!" The second one yelled.
There was a pair of scorched legs on the ground as well.
"What the hell happened?" The first one asked.
"Some moron must have fell into some machinery." The second said.
"But there isn't any machinery around here!" The first said.
"Well, maybe there was before this place exploded." The second said.
"This place didn't explode, it was impacted by it's extruded crust." The first said.
"Oh shut up." The second said.
The first guy picked up the legs and held them against his torso.
"Look at me, I'm that bitch from Mortal Kombat!" The first guy said.
"She has extra arms, not legs." The second guy said.
"Nerd." The first muttered.
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?" The second one demanded.
The second soldier tackled the first one.
Back on the undisclosed location...
"By the way, do you like Hot Wheels? I'm a Hot Wheels salesman." Richard said.
"I-" The doctor started.
"Here, let me show you a sample." Richard said.
Richard slipped off his shoe and reached his foot into the pocket of his vest. He pulled out a hot wheels car with his toes and laid it on the table.
"That there is a limited edition ice cream truck." Richard said.
"This is boot legged." The doctor said.
"No it isn't." Richard said.
"It's colored with Finger paint. In fact, I think this is a matchbox car." The Doctor said.
"How dare you accuse me of bootlegging! That car is one of only 5!" Richard said.
"uh huh." The doctor said, writing on his computer.
The next patient was a woman with red hair.
"Alyessa Vincent, captain of the Ishimura's security. Can you tell me what happened on the ship?" The doctor asked.
"Didn't you interview the others? It was BLEEP attacked by monsters!" Vincent yelled.
"Now now, theres no need for harsh language." The doctor said.
"I don't give a BLEEP! And why are you bleeping this?" Vincent asked.
"This is a T rated fan fic." The doctor said.
"No it isn't." Vincent said.
"Yes it is." The doctor said.
"Check it yourself." Vincent said.
The doctor went to fan fiction net and looked up the story.
"Oh, it is M rated. And whose this adorable diaper wearing dragon on the author's avatar?" The doctor asked.
"That is the author. Thats why it's his avatar you retard." Vincent said.
"Really? I didn't know the author was a babyfur." The doctor said.
"Can we just get on with the story? Your scaring the readers." Vincent said.
"Very well. What happened on the Ishimura?" The doctor asked.
"I just fucking told you!" Vincent said.
The next patient was a woman with brown hair.
"So Rebecca, your Married to Mr. Osmond?" The doctor asked.
"Where is he!?" Rebecca demanded.
"Don't worry, hes in stasis." The doctor said.
"What the hell does that mean?" Rebecca demanded.
"Can you tell me what happened on the Ishimura?" The doctor asked.
"What the hell is an Ishimura?" Rebecca asked.
"I guess not." The doctor said, writing on his computer.
The next patient was a girl with black hair and a tattoo below her eye.
"Now Miss Conner, what was your business on the Ishimura?" The Doctor asked.
"I was just kidnapped by this screwed up guy who wanted to experiment on me!" Faith said.
"Who was that man?" The doctor asked.
"You know what? Screw this." Faith said, getting up and running away.
"Security, we have a breach." The doctor said on an intercom.
2 security guards tried to apprehend Faith, but she drop kicked them both. It took 12 guards to tackle her to the ground.
The next patient was an anthropomorphic Gecko with purple stripes running down his back.
"Now, can you tell me what happened on the Ishimura?" The doctor asked.
"Whats an Ishimura?" The Gecko asked.
"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE!" The doctor yelled, smashing his computer.
The doctor called Isaac Clarke back into the room.
"Mr Clarke, I'm begging you. We've made absolutely no progress with any of the other patients. So please, what happened on the Ishimura?" The doctor asked, almost crying.
Suddenly, Isaac saw the blonde girl he was talking to in the background, next to a weird obelisk thing. She climbed up on the desk of the doctor, who was bawling uncontrollably. She moved her legs in a seductive manner before shoving her face in Isaac's face and screaming. Light flooded from her mouth and eyes, blinding Isaac.
When Isaac's vision returned, there was a guy in a green suit with a flashlight in front of him.
"Oh my god Nicole, what happened to your face!?" Isaac asked, shocked.
"My name is Franco. I'm here to get you out." The dude said.
"Bioshock Infinite reference." Isaac said.
"Hang on, let me get this straight jacket off." Franco said.
Franco stuck his flashlight in his mouth so he could use both of his hands to free Isaac. Unfortunately, his teeth let go of it and it slid into his throat and started choking.
"It's kinda of a bad time to play charades, but I'm all in! Okay, uhhh, shot in the throat! No? Okay, uhhh, about to vomit! No?" Isaac asked.
"Heim...lich..." Franco muttered.
"Hey! No talking! Let's see, being choked by Corvo!" Isaac said.
Suddenly, an infector necromorph climbed onto Franco's back and stabbed it's tongue into his forehead. Franco grew a new set out arms out of his shoulders and his jaw fell off.
"Oh! Being transformed into a slasher! Definitely being transformed into a slasher." Isaac said.
Franco threw the infector off and growled in Isaac's face.
"Oh, your not playing charades are you?" Isaac asked.
Isaac slammed his head into Franco's, knocking him down. Isaac jogged past him and started running down the hall. Several other slashers and Infectors appeared. There were people in holding cells getting slaughtered.
"Hey! Can you let us out!?" One guy demanded.
"OH sure, just let me-" Isaac started.
Isaac realized his arms were trapped inside the straight jacket.
"Oh. Hang on, maybe I can open it with my feet." Isaac said.
Isaac pressed the cell's keypad with his toes.
"Damn it, I don't know the code." He said.
Isaac looked up and saw the guy in the cell get converted by an infector necromorph.
"Oh, I guess theres no point opening this then." Isaac said.
Isaac ran down the corridor and as he ran through a doorway, he was tackled to the floor by a slasher. It stabbed it's one arm blade into Isaac's shoulders.
"Oh my god! It's the first game all over again!" Isaac yelled.
Isaac kicked the slasher in the face until it was shoved off and sliced in half by a conveniently placed door.
"Whew, that was close, I didn't even get a scratch." Isaac said.
Then Isaac noticed the Slasher's arm was still stuck in his shoulder.
"Oh well, no ones perfect." Isaac said.
Isaac wandered down the now somewhat safe hallway. He saw a console with a camera on the wall.
"Oh goody! I was hoping to run into one of these again!" Isaac said, excited.
Since his arms were still binded, Isaac bashed his head against the button and the console unfolded. Unfortunately, he couldn't save his game because his hard drive was full of save files from the original Dead Space. Isaac deleted them, since he had no reason to keep them. Then the console grabbed his crotch with a mechanical arm and shocked him.
"God I missed that." He said.
Isaac sauntered down the hall some more. He saw 2 soldiers with pulse rifles.
"Look! Some crazy guy! Kill him!" One of them yelled.
Suddenly, a tentacle broke through the ceiling vent, grabbed one of the soldiers by the leg, and yanked him into the ceiling. The other one shot his pulse rifle at it.
"STOP ASSHOLE! YOUR SHOOTING ME!" The first soldier said.
"WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?" The second demanded.
"PULL ME OUT OF HERE!" The first one yelled.
The second soldier grabbed the first one's dangling arm. And, as you may have guessed, they both got pulled into the vent. Isaac ran over to where they were and guts fell on his head.
"Damn it, they didn't drop their guns." Isaac said, ignoring the guts.
Isaac entered what looked like an observation room. There was a video playing on a nearby screen. It was of a red-headed dude talking to the same doctor from earlier.
"Mr. Stross, what happened aboard the USG O'Bannon?" The Doctor asked.
"My wife and son, they became naked zombies. I had to kill them both. Then my girlfriend, I mean lab partner came in and called me a murderer." Stross said.
"Were they the only naked zombies?" The doctor asked.
"No, there were hundreds of them. It was like a massive orgy." Stross said.
"Ugh, thats disgusting." The doctor said.
"Then the magic goldfish gave me a key to open the portal to dreamland where I became king of the sweets." Stross said.
"Okay, Mr. Stross, your lab partner said that your wife and son were still human." The doctor said.
"She's a lying whore. Where is she by the way?" Stross asked.
"Uhhh, she was let go." The doctor said.
Flash back...
A woman in a green lab uniform with black hair was restrained on a table. A drill was aimed at her forehead.
"Are you serious? What the fuck? Can't you just shoot me through the back of the head like that one guy whose name I can't remember? You know, the one with the cybernetic arm? He was in Dead Space Aftermath like me? Anyone?" She asked before the drill buried into her skull.
Back to the present...
"This is boring." Isaac said.
Isaac then noticed a med kit laying on the floor. He bent over to pick it up, but he couldn't because his arms were still binded. He tried to pick it up with his foot, but he dropped it on his other foot and fell over. Then he tried to pick it up with his mouth. He succeeded, but he accidentally opened the canister and the gel poured down his throat. Isaac choked, but then his innards felt strangely rejuvenated. His RIG was still red though, so it didn't make any difference.
Isaac came to a closed door. Since he still couldn't use his arms for anything, he hit the button with his head to open it. Then, all of the sudden, Isaac was pulled into the room by that doctor you all probably hate by now. He held a scalpel against Isaac's neck.
"What happened to you on the USG O'bannon?" The doctor asked, unstable.
"I wasn't on the USG O'bannon." Isaac said.
"Shut up! Do you think this interrogation shit is easy!?" The doctor demanded.
"Yes." Isaac said.
The doctor cut the things that were restraining Isaac's arms.
"Hey thanks." Isaac said.
Isaac turned around and clotheslined the doctor in the face with the slasher arm that was still stuck in his shoulder.
"Whoops, sorry." Isaac said.
"Your RIG is red. Theres a medical kit and flashlight inside that locker, along with a conveniently placed Locator." The Doctor said, pointing at a locker.
"Thanks. Here, let me repay you." Isaac said.
Isaac pulled the slasher blade out of his shoulder and decapitated the doctor with it.
"No ones gonna back stab me again!" Isaac yelled, spitting on his corpse.
Isaac cracked open the locker and grabbed the gubbins inside. He applied the medical kit to his unseeable wounds and picked up the flashlight and locator.
"Wow, this flashlight looks like a gun. I wonder if that will hold any significance." Isaac wondered.
Isaac went over to the elevator, called it, and got on and rode it to the next floor. A woman appeared on his video feed.
"Franco? Did you find Isaac yet?" The woman asked.
"Uhh, Franco isn't here. This is Isaac." Isaac said.
"Isaac? Thank Unitology. Wheres Franco?" The woman asked.
"Was he wearing a green jumpsuit?" Isaac asked.
"Yes! You've seen him!?" The woman asked, excited.
"Nope." Isaac lied.
"Oh, listen, you need to haul ass out of the hospital. I've plotted a route for you." The bitch said.
"Wait, don't I know you from somewhere?" Isaac asked.
"My name is Daina, and no, we haven't met." The bitch said.
"Are you sure? You look like someone who double crossed me." Isaac said.
"For fucks sake, we haven't met before!" Daina said.
"Are you sure?" Isaac asked.
"YES!" Daina yelled before ending the transmission.
The elevator stopped and it's doors opened. The room was dark. Isaac shone his flashlight around wildly, making sure it was clear. Isaac suddenly slipped on something as he walked down the hall and whatever it was landed on his face. It was an audio log.
"Our patients have been doing very unusual things. I just found Mr. 13 making a Marker like object with all of his lollipop sticks. Then Mr. Nukem was making them out of his pipe bombs. Why did we let him have pipe bombs anyway? That's a huge security hazard. Then there was that weird nutjob, Cash is his name I think, he made them out of bloody shards of glass. The researched teams have been notified of this discovery. Oh shit, Cash just broke out and stabbed my secretary! OH FU(a liquid spurts in the background). Now I'm going to make a marker out of his bones! HEHEHEHEEHHEHEHEHEEHEHEHE!" It said.
Isaac smashed the audio log against the floor. Then he continued down the hall and came to a red maintenance vent.
"Theres bond to be more necromorphs in there. They love dark places. Let's crawl inside!" Isaac said.
Isaac opened the hatch and crawled into the claustrophobic space. He sung the tune from Space Runaway Ideon to pass the time in the worst voice possible.
"SPACE RUNAWAY IDEON, IDEON!" Isaac croaked.
The lower part of the vent must have hated his singing, since it collapsed and sent him falling down.
"OW! Wires! OW! Shards of metal! OW! Circuit boards! OW! Xbox one! Wait, what the-" Isaac started before he landed hard on a metal floor, leaving a crater.
"I should really condemn this hospital for faulty maintenance vents." Isaac said.
Isaac then saw a corpse floating in the air.
"Hey, it's just like in Martian Gothic Unification. Oh, I shouldn't have said that." Isaac said, puking on the corpse. "Why is this thing even floating?"
Isaac looked behind himself and saw a console emitting some faint electrical energy.
"A KINESIS MODULE!" Isaac yelped.
Isaac quickly ran behind the console. He ripped the panel off and threw it at a cabinet filled with AIDS vaccines, breaking them. Then he ripped a bunch of wires out of the panel and placed them on his left arm. The corpse fell to the floor due to the loss of the module. Isaac picked up the corpse with the kinesis module and threw it against the wall.
"I missed this thing." Isaac said.
Suddenly, a slasher broke in through the glass wall. On instinct, Isaac aimed his flashlight at the slasher and pulled it's trigger, only shining light on it.
"Damn." Isaac said.
The slasher chased Isaac around the room several times before Isaac stabbed his foot on a metal spike on the floor.
"OW! Why the hell did they leave these sharp metal spears here!? Thats dangerous! And what the fuck are these even used for?" Isaac wondered.
Angry Isaac picked up the metal spike and shot it off blindly with kinesis. It impaled the slasher and pinned it to a wall.
"Hmmm." Isaac said.
Suddenly another slasher appeared. Isaac picked up another spike and impaled it against the wall as well.
"Ha Ha. This is like syfy darts." Isaac said.
Suddenly another slasher broke into the room. This time there weren't any more spikes left. SO Isaac just ran around again. Then he cut his arm on one of the slasher's arms that was pinned to the wall.
"That is also very dangerous." Isaac said.
Isaac ripped off the arm with his kinesis module and blindly shot it into the slasher that was pursuing him, pinning it to the wall.
"Oh, that simplifies everything." Isaac said.
Isaac came to another elevator. He got on and found a small medical kit on the floor.
"Good, I can finally pick stuff up now." Isaac said.
Isaac shoved it somewhere in his ripped straightjacket and rode the elevator. After it reached the next floor, a slasher ran towards Isaac.
"I'll just rip off his arm." Isaac said.
Isaac tried to pull the slasher's blade arm off with his kinesis module, but it wouldn't come off for some reason.
"Come off motherfucker!" Isaac cursed, actually grabbing the slasher's arm. "I can pull them off dead corpses, I should be able to pull them off live ones too!"
Isaac slapped the slasher with his flashlight a few times before he broke it's arm off and he stabbed the slasher with it.
"Tai-oh!" Isaac said.
Then 2 other slashers started running at him. Isaac pulled off the dead slasher's other arm and shot it at one of the runners. Then the began pulling the one he stabbed into the dead slasher out of it's guts. He barely pulled it out in time and swung it around, cutting both of the other slasher's arms off.
"These things have weak limbs." Isaac said.
Isaac continued down the hall and saw a small square shaped box.
"Oh, this must be the new design for the item crates!" Isaac said.
Isaac stomped on the box with his foot and howled in pain as he was bare foot. Still, he got a Small med pack out of it.
"Hello? Is somebody out there? Help me!" A voice yelled.
Isaac investigated the direction the voice came from and found a guy strapped down to a surgery table with some weird arm with a laser sight above him
"Oh My god." Isaac said.
"Thank lord, someone came here to help me!" The guy said.
Isaac completely ignored the defenseless man and ran to the control console behind him.
"Thats a plasma cutter! I can use that!" Isaac said.
"Forget the stupid plasma cutter and get me out of here!" The guy said.
"Shut up, now let's just press this." Isaac said.
Isaac pressed some buttons and moved the arm closer to him.
"What the hell are planning on doing dude? Just get me outta here!" The guy said.
"I said shut up!" Isaac hissed.
Isaac picked up a bottle of aspirin and threw it at the guy's head.
"Ow." he said.
"Now I'll just take this off." Isaac said, ripping the plasma cutter off it's arm.
"Uhh, weird guy." the guy on the table said as slashers began smashing the windows.
"I said shut up!" Isaac yelled.
Isaac picked up a hypodermic needle and threw it at the guy dart style, hitting him in the nads.
"Now, I just connect these here and it's ready to go! Alright whiny bitch, why are you-" Isaac started.
Isaac looked at the table the guy was strapped down to and saw he was cut up by 2 slashers.
"Oh." Isaac said.
Isaac took aim with his flashlight, now with the plasma cutter attached, and fired 2 blasts at each slasher's arm, severing them. The slashers dropped dead, knowing that their hopes and dreams were gone without their arms. Isaac went over to the guy on the table.
"Uhh, sorry I couldn't save you, but you were an asshole." Isaac said.
Isaac left the operating room and entered another operating room where a slasher was strapped to the table.
"Ha hA! Come on bitch! Slash me!" Isaac teased.
The slasher tried in vain to break free. Isaac smashed it's arms off with his makeshift Plasma cutter, killing it.
"You got nothing!" Isaac yelled.
Isaac went through a door into the waiting area. He saw some slashers sitting on the couches, waiting for him to come out. They foolishly charged into his plasma cutter, killing them. Isaac found another boring text log that he read while sitting on the couch.
"Some of the patients are becoming restless. We recently had to begin giving them Memory deleting drugs. It's really annoying that they don't remember who we are everyday and we have to keep explaining to them that they're in a new section of Disney land and they can get on the rides tomorrow after testing. This one idiot tried to rape one of the nurses, which is why every morning, we have to keep telling him his lack of genitals was from a birth defect." It said.
Isaac threw the diary away and he heard voices.
"So who are we looking for again?" A voice said.
"Isaac Clarke, he's a threat to the station." Another voice said.
"Why?" The first voice asked.
"I don't give a shit why! Just follow the orders and we get our paychecks!" The second one said.
"I'm gonna buy an Xbox one when I get paid." The first voice said.
"Are you crazy? Those things are fucking shit bricks!" The second one said.
"Your just mad because your limited edition 360 will be outclassed." The first said.
"You don't shut up, I'm gonna outclass you with my pulse rifle." The second said.
"Fine, let's check out this dead naked human with blades growing out of it's arms." The first said.
"Theres no way that could still be alive." The second said.
Then loud screaming was heard. Isaac was rested enough to continue moving. He walked down a ramp and suddenly, red lights flashed. Isaac came to a large open room where he saw the red-headed guy from the video feed.
"Isaac! This way!" The man yelled.
"Do I know you?" Isaac asked.
"Theres no time! We have to go!" The man yelled.
Isaac ran after the guy through a hallway, when a security gate closed, separating them.
"Oh fuck, we'll meet up later!" The man said, running away.
"Wait, who the fuck are you?" Isaac loudly asked.
"Isaac? Why didn't you leave before the lockdown? I told you to hurry!" Daina said.
"No you didn't." Isaac said.
"Don't blame your lazy ass on me." Daina said.
"You know what? I don't want your worthless help. You remind me too much about my computer specialist that backstabbed me. Fuck off." Isaac said.
"Fine, fuck you." Daina said.
"Fuck you." Isaac said.
"Fuck you!" Daina yelled.
"FUCK YOU!" Isaac yelled, shutting off the feed.
Some slashers stormed in the room. Isaac sliced both arms off of one of them before running out of ammo.
"Crap, I'm used to having loads of ammo." Isaac said.
Isaac barely dodged to the side as a Slasher lunged at him, stabbing it's blade into a priceless painting on the wall. Isaac grabbed a dead slasher's arm and impaled the one slasher to the wall with it. Then he grabbed one of those slasher's arms and impaled the last one with it.
"Where do I go now? I'm used to having someone tell me where I need to go." Isaac said.
Isaac started back the way he came and walked in a big circle a back into the room he just killed the slashers in.
"Uhh, Daina, I'm sorry. Your actually much more attractive than Kendra. Can you guide me out of here?" Isaac asked.
"So you've crawled back to me eh? Just follow your marker thing." Daina said.
Another gate rose up and Isaac left the room. He found another stupid ass text log.
"Please turn away all delusional patients. Leonard accidentally ordered a shipment of Eppicack instead of delusion treating medications and now theres puke everywhere. God, we have so many retards in this hospital. Last night, I saw Jeremiah smoking all the medical marijuana. I'm the only responsible person at this building. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get drunk on medical alcohol." It said.
Isaac threw the audio diary away and before entering a room, a guy in a blue shirt and jeans started choking him with a plastic bag. Isaac was used to shit like this and he kicked that guy's ass. It was Cash from Manhunt.
"Who the hell are you?" Isaac asked.
"A bunch of crazy religious guys grabbed me and now I'm slaughtering them all." Cash said.
"You need some help? I could use a companion character." Isaac said.
"No way, I fly solo. The last time I had a partner, they wouldn't stop following me." Cash said.
Cash ran into the room ahead and was decapitated by a slasher, which Isaac killed with a slasher blade he took with him.
"That was a pointless celebrity cameo." Isaac said.
Isaac grabbed some ammo laying on the ground and picked up another text log.
"Stasis bed 000567844. replaced tachyon unit, degaussed emitter array. calibrated Heisenberg forks. Induction coil still not firing in sequence. Testing for shattered matrix. Called in to dispatch to cancel next appointment. To make things simple for the retards at this hospital, is broken, fix it." It said.
"Stasis modules!? Heck yes!" Isaac said happily.
Isaac saw a panel with 2 gears on it. He ripped it off and threw it at a glass cabinet containing vials for the cancer cure, smashing them. Then Isaac reached his hand deep inside the panel. A little circle appeared on a screen with a line.
"What the hell? I never had to do this before." Isaac said.
As Isaac moved his hand around the panel, the line in the circle moved as well, changing from orange to blue. He took that as the sign to pull something out and he did this several times before he pulled out the source of the stasis module.
"Hell yes!" Isaac said, strapping it to his arm.
Isaac then began to proceed to a door before some weird scanning thing ran itself over him and shut the door.
"Identification not valid." A voice said.
"Screw your identification!" Isaac yelled.
Isaac backed up and allowed the door to open again. Then he hit it with stasis, slowing it down. Isaac ran towards it, the beam scanned him, but the doors weren't able to close fast enough.
"As I said, screw your identification." Isaac said.
Isaac proceeded down the hall as a man with half of his body melted off approached him.
"My god, it's one of the deleted enemies from Resident Evil!" Isaac panicked.
Isaac shot the dude's head off, causing him to drop dead. Suddenly, 2 unknown necromorphs trundled in from around the corner.
"These must be the new Necromorphs I saw in the trailer for this game." Isaac said.
One of these guys spat a glob of some gooey shit at Isaac. It hit him, not doing damage, but slowed him down.
"What the? Is this like adhesive fluid? Did an infector fuck a spray bottle?" Isaac wondered.
Isaac tried to put some distance between him and the Pukers, but he could only walk very slowly. One of the pukers calmly walked up to him and vomited some acidic fluid on him.
"OWWW! EWWW! You bulimic freak!" Isaac yelled.
Isaac shot the puker's head off with his plasma cutter.
"HAH! Try puking now!" Isaac taunted.
The Puker then puked on Isaac through the hole in it's neck.
"Are you serious!?" Isaac demanded.
Isaac shot off it's legs, then stomped on it. It's body spewed more acid, burning Isaac's foot.
"This enemy is way overpowered!" Isaac yelled.
Isaac didn't take any chances with the second puker and blew off all of it's limbs. Isaac mopped up the mess on the floor so no one would slip (He used to be a janitor) and took an elevator down. Isaac then found himself in a gift shop filled with balloons, plushes, and ammo. Isaac grabbed a Hello Kitty plush and hugged it.
"I used to have one of these when I was little! But then I gave it to Nicole." Isaac said, crying.
Suddenly, the plushes sprang to life with demonic eyes and sharp fangs. They all swarmed on Isaac, clinging to every part of his body while he screamed. Isaac began throwing them off and shooting them with his plasma cutter, sending stuffing flying everywhere.
"Fuck this shop!" Isaac yelled.
Isaac threw a plush of Twilight Sparkle off and grabbed a random can of gasoline. He poured it all over the place while swatting away the plushes. Then, he lit a match and threw it in the gasoline. All the plushes burst into flames and the balloons popped. Isaac dove out the doorway and shoved a random refrigerator in front of the door. The plushes banged on it angerly.
"I'm never gonna hug another plush again." Isaac said.
Isaac walked down a hallway towards a window that looked outside the station. An oxygen canister sitting next to the window exploded from Gunfire. The window shattered and began sucking everything out. Francis from Left 4 Dead was sucked out.
"WHY THE HELL DID I SHOOT THAT THING!?" He screamed before being thrown into space.
Isaac clawed at the floor trying to avoid being sucked out. Gurneys and other hospital equipment was sucked out along with a random cow. Isaac noticed a bright light above the window. Knowing glowing stuff was meant to be shot, he shot it and a shutter closed over the vacuum.
"Damn, faulty windows too? I'll have this building condemned!" Isaac yelled.
Isaac got up and stepped over a dead slasher on the floor. Except it wasn't dead. It stabbed Isaac in the leg and made him fall down.
"What the hell are you doing!? Taking a nap in the middle of the hallway!?" Isaac demanded.
Isaac smacked the slasher's arm a couple of times, breaking it, then he shot it up with his plasma cutter. Isaac then entered the next room, which had a kiosk in it. Isaac, for some stupid reason, ignored it and went over to the door on the other side of the room.
"Warning, hullbreach detected." A voice said.
"Hull breach? How am I supposed to proceed then? Unless, they gave me the ability to breath in a vacuum!" Isaac said cheerfully.
Isaac opened the door and ran into the hull breached corridor.
"Yes, this is AACCCCCKKK ACCGGHH!" He choked.
Isaac ran back into the other room and closed the door.
"How the hell do I get past this!? I don't have enough credits to buy a new space suit!" Isaac said.
"Actually, the kiosks on Sprawl have discounts Isaac. You may be able to get your old armor for free." Daina said.
"Really?" Isaac asked.
"What? Do I have to sing a song or something, yes!" Daina said.
Isaac went up to the kiosk and sure enough, his old RIG armor was free.
"Sweet! My armor insurance really did pay off!" Isaac said.
Isaac got into the tiny room behind the kiosk and it closed. Following a minute of loud laughter, the chamber opened, Revealing a helmet-less Isaac in his brown RIG armor.
"I could have sworn I painted this white on the last story. Oh well." Isaac said.
A helmet unfolded over Isaac's head as he looked at the Kiosk's shopping list.
"Hey, they have my old Plasma cutter too!" Isaac squealed with delight.
Isaac pressed the plasma cutter icon and his old plasma cutter slid out of a drop slot.
"WOO HOO! Now I can duel cut!" Isaac said, holding both plasma cutters.
Isaac went back through the door and was able to calmly stroll through the breached area. He arrived in the emergency arrival area.
"Hmm, normally the first chapter ends with an epic battle. I guess they changed things up this time around." Isaac said.
Suddenly, a blonde chick in white clothes and a nearly bald dude in black clothes ran in through the doors.
"We're hear! Now we can use your blood to make an antidote for all the infected people!" The blonde chick said.
"Yeah, hopefully nothing will crush me before we do." The nearly bald dude said.
Suddenly, this large Necromorph with 2 massive legs crushed the blonde chick and nearly bald dude.
"Well that was inevitable." Isaac said.
The tripod swatted Isaac into the air and he slammed into a stasis station groin first, which somehow recharged his stasis module. He fell on his head and leaned against the wall upside down. The Tripod was about to crush him, but Isaac hit him with stasis. The monster's large arm moved slowly as Isaac was able to calmly maneuver around it and walked behind it.
Isaac drew both of his plasma cutters and emptied them both into the tripod's right arm, causing it's orange bulb to burst and it fell off. Isaac laughed and taunted the tripod, calling it crippled, and then got slammed across the room. Isaac hid behind a pillar, hoping the monster would be too stupid to see him. The Tripod smashed the pillar, narrowly missing Isaac.
Isaac hid behind more stuff, all of which the tripod smashed with it's remaining arm. Isaac aimed both of his plasma cutter's at it's last orange bulb, but they both just clicked because they were empty. The Tripod raised it's one arm.
"Well, looks like I'm gonna get replaced by a new player character." Isaac said.
Suddenly, the ceiling collapsed and crushed the Tripod to death. The tripod spit a gold semi-conductor out of it's mouth, covered in puke and shit. Isaac cautiously picked it up, put it in a plastic bag, and put it in his suit.
"Well, I guess I'm going to be the only player character for this entire series!" Isaac said happily.
Gabe Weller snorted with contempt somewhere as Isaac went through the hallway the tripod came out of. He came to another vent, this one had a kinesis icon panel on it.
"Okay, now this is just plain ineffective." Isaac said.
Isaac ripped the panel off and threw it away. Before he crawled into the vent, he stuck an orange piece of paper on the wall.
"This damn vent better be sturdy." Isaac said, crawling in.
"By Order of the CEC, this building is now Condemned." The orange piece of paper said.
Meanwhile, back in the hospital...
2 soldiers were in the area that contained the patients in stasis. They had a containment coffin pulled and one of them was in the process of jamming it open with a crowbar.
"Theres no way he's still in one of these." The first soldier said.
"Oh come on? Maybe theres some hot comatose chick inside that we can bang." The second said.
"Good point." The first one said, helping with the crowbar.
They managed to force the lid of the coffin open. Inside was a man with a familiar blue vest.
"Awww, it's a dude, an ugly one at that." The first soldier said.
"I don't know. Theres something seductive about him." The second soldier said.
"Eww, don't get all gay on me!" The First soldier said.
Richard opened his eyes. He noticed the soldiers with guns didn't look like any nurses he's ever seen. He gazed around the room for some kind of weapon. And he found one, a pair of tongs.
"Look, I grew up with 3 older brother who raped me all the time." The Second soldier said.
Richard suddenly jumped out of the coffin and strangled the second soldier with the tongs. The first soldier shot his pulse rifle, aiming for Richard, but shooting and killing the second soldier. Richard grabbed the second soldier's pulse rifle and aimed it at the first one.
"Drop it." Richard said.
The first soldier dropped his pulse rifle. When it hit the floor, it fired one last round, which bounced around the room, before smashing a case filled with Cure Alls. Isaac let the dead soldier fall to the floor and smashed the first soldier's head in with the Pulse Rifle's stock. Isaac looked around the room until one of the names on the coffin's caught his attention.
"Rebecca!?" He read out loud.
Richard pulled out the coffin and the other ones that had familiar names on them. And one that had Murphy Pendleton from Silent Hill Downpour. Within a few minutes, everyone was awake. Richard took the first soldier's armor, leaving the soldier tied up in a chair in his Dora the Explorer undies and a red ball gag in his mouth. Raz, Milly, Arcano, Chris, Gex, Faith, and Vincent were all of Richard's other friends.
"This is just perfect." Richard said.
"No it isn't! We was captured!" Raz said.
"Shut up." Richard said.
"What happened to those Psychological 7 fucks?" Rebecca asked.
Meanwhile, in a tiny shuttle drifting in space, was the psychological 7. Ethan Thomas, Jack Walters, Daniel, Roger Samms, Jennifer, the guy from The Dark Eye, and Benny.
"That was close. We barely avoided our captors and escaped on this tiny shuttle." Thomas said, with Benny's foot in his face.
"Thats an accurate summary of our misfortunes." Benny said.
"SO what now?" Jennifer asked.
"We just wait, I'm sure someone will rescue us soon." Thomas said.
"You said that 7 months ago." Jack said.
"Aww shut up." Thomas said.
Back on the Sprawl (Oops, spoiler alert)...
"Well, the only way we can get some answers is through this guy." Richard said, pointing to the soldier.
"I can make him talk." Rebecca said, taking off her shirt.
"Sorry babe, but only I can look at your breasts. I got another idea." Richard said.
Richard took off his belt and wheeled the man into another room before closing the door. Loud whipping could be heard.
"So...Why are you here?" Vincent asked Murphy.
"Well, you see..." He started.
To Be continued...
Damn, this took much longer than I thought. It was for many reasons, lack of interest, writing the outline for it, and other stuff such as drawing. Hopefully the next chapter will come sooner, but no promises. And don't nag me for updates either, that is very inefficient. I'll see you suckers then.