I've seen pain and terror.
I've had to do things I never signed up to do.
After the capitol went down and Katniss was to shoot President Snow, I gave her some pointers.
Really, that was my goodbye.
Before I wished her "luck" President Coin told me Katniss had to become Peeta's fiancé again. The public still thought they are going to postpone their wedding. It was better for her. She gave me a huge opportunity to go to District 2 and take a job. I coldly wished Catnip "luck" and left the Capitol.
Katniss could never express her love to me publicly. Besides like if she even wanted me, she knew the bombs that killed her sister were mine and Beetee's. If I knew they were going to kill Primrose I wouldn't have created them.
When Katniss was away at the 74th Hunger Games I would visit her family every single day and drop off some of my game. I kept them alive. They were as precious as my family.
Does that matter?
She still thinks I'm a monster. She thinks I'm living it up in District Two having another girlfriend every other week. Well, I meant a girl, but she was torn apart from me like everyone else I ever loved.
I found out Katniss killed President Coin with a single arrow. The only thing that kept me from running to her was fear.
I was signed into a mentally insane asylum last weekend.
Of course I'm not insane! I told one of my "trusted" friends, a soldier, I've been having suicide dreams. I saw on T.V. Katniss and Peeta had their first child and she was pregnant again. That was too much for me to handle. I've always wanted to have children, I once told Catnip in the forest before her reaping. When we were just two carefree seam kids. But once again fear took it's toll.
I should have volunteered in Peeta's place, at the 74th Hunger Games.
But I didn't. Fear struck again.
It's all history now, it's done.
District Two over reacted and signed me into the asylum. They need me alive because I'm full of "valuable information" they want to ream out of me. If I die they will never cease to get that information about bombs, snares, and strategies, or so I think. According to the doctor I get out of this living hell in two months. But I have different plans.
I escape tonight. I escape the fear that posses me and I escape this nut house.
Thinking about this make me want to smile, but I don't. It would be the first time I've smiled in 4 years, it's my new record.
The sun is almost completely set, in a few minutes my freedom will come. Those few minutes are the longest few I've had in a while.
It's time.
A friend of mine whose dorm is 6 rooms down from mine is going to help me out. He's going to go crazy all over again. I hear his screams and broken glass shatter on the floor. A rush of feet run pass my door. There's my signal. I have a medium sized 3 inch glass window in my dorm. I've studied techniques of fighting. With one good hit I could break this window.
What if it doesn't break? What if I lost my strength? What if I'll be stuck here?
Fear, leave me alone.
Courage, over take me.
I shake my fist for momentum and, crash! The window shatters to shards. Courage. The sound was masqueraded my neighbor's screams. My dorm is ten feet above ground. I hop down into shrubs. I see the nine foot wall eight yards ahead me. "You can do this Hawthorne!" I think to myself. Courage. I begin to sprint, faster and faster. Hopefully my adrenaline will kicking in...Now!
I jump and boost myself over the wall. I run as fast as I can straight into the forest. I now know where I'm going, District 12.
Not to be rude but hopefully I don't run into Katniss and Peeta. I'm only going there to visit my mom, Rory, Vick, and Posy it's been 12 years since I've seen them. I still can't believe it. Rory is 25, Vick is 23, and Posy, she's 17.
It's dark now I take my jacket's hood and put it over my head hiding my face. I go out into District 2's town square. I make a beeline to the pay phone. I call home.
I break my four year record. I smile.
A fake one so that whoever picks up the phone won't here the pain in my voice. I here a teenager girl in a groggy voice say, "Hello?" although it's night here in District 2 it must be dawn in 12. "Posy!" I say, "It's Gale." "G-Gale? It's been so long I can't-" I cut Posy off and say, " I have a lot of explaining to do. But I'll do that when I'm in District 12, I'll be there tomorrow." "Mom!" I hear Posy yell.
I hang up the phone. I go straight to the train station. I see a train of exports on a platform labeled District 12. I crawl in between crates. I'm unseen and the train begins to take off. "District 12 here I come." I say in a low voice as I grin