Title: If I Knew
Author: Nyna Boscorelli
E-mail: nynaboscorelli@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: John Wells owns Bosco and Faith (and Cruz, but who cares). *hangs head* I'm just borrowing them. So far, he hasn't stopped me, so I will continue to borrow. I don't own the poem "If I Knew" either.
Author's Note: Thanks to the people I was chatting with on 3rdwatch.net after the 4-21-03 eppy. You guys inspired me to write this story. The lines from the poem are indicated by ** and I guess I should warn you that there is character death. So sit back, relax, and enjoy.
If I Knew
*If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you walk out the door
I would give you a hug and kiss
And call you back for one more*
"I need your advice, Faith," he pleaded with me, tears forming in his eyes.
I'd never seen my ex-partner so mellow before. In the ten years that we'd worked together, I'd never seen this side of him. He'd never once asked me for help with anything. Wait, strike that. He had asked me for help when he robbed those guys about three years ago. But that doesn't count, really.
"You know I wouldn't be here if-"
"If it wasn't important, I know," I cut him off. "I have to worry about my own life, Bosco."
I shut the door on him.
*For surely there's always tomorrow
To make up for an oversight
And we always get a second chance
To make everything just right*
"Faith, can you come into my office for a minute?"
"Sure, Lieu. What's up?" I asked as he closed the door.
"Faith, I don't know how to say this, so I'm just gonna say it," he started. "There's been an accident."
"Is Fred okay? Emily?" a million thoughts raced through my mind as I jumped to my feet.
"They're okay, Faith. It's Boscorelli. He and Cruz were-"
I didn't hear the rest as I ran out of his office, jumped in the RMP and told Monroe to step on it.
"Where are we going?"
"Mercy."
*Tomorrow is not promised to anyone
Young or old alike
And today may be the last chance
You get to hold your loved one tight*
I jumped out before the car was in park and ran through the double doors to the nurse's station.
"Officer Boscorelli. Where is he?"
One of the nurses walked up to me and said, "Faith, I'm sorry. He died in the ambulance."
"No. No, that can't be. He's Bosco. He always makes it," I fell to my knees, sobbing. "C-c-can I see him?"
"No," a female voice barked.
I turned my head and found myself staring up at Sergeant Cruz. I jumped to my feet and lunged at her, "What did you do to him?"
"He was the one driving, Chica. This is all on him."
Before I could respond, the nurse broke in, "Faith, I'll take you to see him."
I followed her down the hall. She stopped in front of a door and walked away. Taking a deep breath, I slowly opened the door and stepped inside. There, on the hospital bed, was Bosco. I crossed the room and took his hand in mine. It was already ice cold.
"Oh, Bos," I began sobbing again. "I'm sorry, Bos. I should have let you in. I should have helped you. Dammit, Bos. This is all my fault! If I had just listened to you and helped you out of whatever you were in, you wouldn't be here. I'm sorry, Bos."
*So, if you're waiting for tomorrow
Why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes
You'll surely regret the day
That you didn't take that extra time
For a smile, hug, or a kiss
And you were too busy to grant someone
What turned out to be their one last wish*
The End