VOID OF SOLITUDE
1.
(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
What is a void? An empty, hollow space… Something who's only desire is to be filled… To become a whole…
There is a void in every living soul… A void caused by distress, displeasure… Pain and Sorrow… It is there to remind all of us…
That we're mortal beings and therefore… We're meant to suffer.
Who decided that? I don't know… It was a sadistic God? A Devil? Chaos itself?
Just like many things that happen in this world, we do not have an answer… All we have, is our life… And our emotions…
The only way to erase the void that's inside our hearts… It's to fill it with new feelings.
And that, of course, it's the difficult part… Especially for a certain being who's life has been cursed even before his own birth…
By whom, you may ask? Again, a question that will not find an answer… Maybe it's been all the doing of a deranged author… Or maybe it just had to happen…
The point is… This being was alive… Alive, suffering… Empty.
A Void of Life… With no memory of his past… Except for a few figments and images.
A unique being… Alone in a foreign world… Away from the whom he loved.
And I shall tell his tale.
Who am I?
I'm not Fang the Sniper, that's for sure… And I'm NOT stealing the regular author's role… As a matter of fact, I'm here because of the Real Author's request.
My true name will be revealed at the end of this story…
For now, you may refer to me… As this world's Solitude.
Let us begin.
It has already been a whole month since Void's arrival into this dimension… A whole month since losing his memory, going berserk, killing a couple of persons and getting mauled to death by a mechanical battle plane and its angry two-tailed pilot…
He almost died that night, not just because of the physical beating… But also because he mentally gave up. The atrocious emptiness of his forgotten memories was matched only by his hollow soul…
He didn't have tears to cry… Nor he had emotions to share… His mind was currently closed to the outside world, a world he couldn't understand, a world he couldn't recognize… A world without her…
His blazing princess… His feline queen of flames… He couldn't quite remember her name either but her image was deadly clear in his damaged mind.
Day after day, he was slowly losing any hope in finding her… Day after day, he was slowly becoming more… Void.
The guilt towards his recent victims was another thing that tormented him greatly. He would often dream about them… Reliving all those terrifying moments… That's why he decided to stay awake.
It has been a whole month… Since his utter downfall into oblivion. A whole month, since the very same person who beat him… Swore to take care of him, the best way he could.
The young two-tailed anthropomorphic fox by the puny name of Miles Prower, ironically enough, used to be his lifeline. Without him… The Seedrian would have already died… And not only by grief.
He was a menace to society, therefore he needed to hide himself from other people's, let's say, curiosity. He's been declared dead a little time after Tails hid him inside his undisclosed workshop, in the Mystic Ruins. Since Void was a plant based life form he needed plenty of water… And attention, of course.
There wasn't really anything exciting to do inside that improvised refuge other than watching human trash TV, playing old videogames (like that curios one about a jumping plumber and a monkey) and, of course, bathing… He used to do this last activity pretty often… That until Tails had to save him from self-drowning.
After that episode, the vulpine didn't trust the boy anymore and decided to give him an extra eye.
Right now, Void sat on his bed, which was the guests' bed, doing his second favorite activity after suicide… He was staring at his hands.
He had those ugly, deformed, huge, three-fingered and clawed hands… His murdering hands. The hands that tasted human blood.
He despised them with all his might… Hate and Sadness engulfed his soul, leaving no room for other, more enjoyable, feelings.
He often wondered if his own birth has been someone else's joke.
There was a part of him that wished everybody's death and demise… That wished to force the world to feel his own sufferance…
And there was another part of him who knew that his own existence has caused others to suffer… Therefore he wished his own death.
Darkness and Light, are both part of our being… They're what makes us whole… They're what makes us mortal… Idealistically speaking, our souls could very well be the reflection of this world's balance between Night and Day.
It would be too simple, however, to limit the utter complexity of our being into the division between Good and Evil… Into the aforementioned balance.
As a matter of fact, our world, and therefore ourselves, are the most distant thing from anything balanced… We live in Chaos and we are part of it.
To make things over complicated (yet, simple at the same time)… Chaos is the Balance of life.
And this "Balance" was currently devouring the young Seedrian from the inside.
His namesake eyes were perched in frustration and inner despair while fixing themselves on those awful hands he had.
I wish they could just disappear… Along with the rest of myself! He yelled in his mind.
Suddenly, a noise interrupted his derailed train of thoughts. He turned his head towards the door.
He was standing at the entrance… His forced host.
"Hi Void…" Tails timidly said while putting on a weak smile, awkwardness clearly audible in his tone.
Void's peculiar response didn't late to come.
"Hello father…" He said, black eyes widen in respect… Almost in eagerness, one would say.
Tails just sighed.
"Void… I'm younger than you are… That sounded weird." The kit remarked.
The Seedrian couldn't help but feel the strange familiarity of this situation, perhaps it has been a deja-vù…
While the teen plant was distracted in his thoughts, Tails fixed his own gaze on him and, once again, a very familiar emotion found its way inside the kid's tormented mind…
He didn't have been able to forgive himself for what he'd done a whole month ago… He almost killed him. He almost killed a living, breathing being and for what? For revenge… The lowest among excuses.
He thought he was better than that… But after seeing his step father reduced to an inch of his life, something inside of him just snapped… A dark side he didn't think he had… A side that's inside everybody, none the less.
He felt even more guilty after actually knowing his current guest. He was not evil nor he killed those persons on purpose… He was just a desperate being, from another universe, who's lost his memories… Except the ones who made him suffer.
Alone in a world he didn't belong with.
The vulpine knew first hand what solitude was… He suffered for it, all of his life… After losing his parents and, sometimes, even after meeting Sonic.
What was even worse… This being claimed to be his son… Or better, the son of another Tails from a different dimension. Things were looking pretty messed up lately.
Then again, aren't always that way?
"It's time for your lesson." The kit said, interrupting both their trains of thought.
Void just shrugged.
"Fine…" He simply muttered.
For people who suffered of amnesia, keeping their brains busy was a good help, that's why since he put the Seedrian under his protective wing (or should I say tail), Tails has been busy in teaching his guest about this world's history… Mainly, his adventures with Sonic.
He told him almost everything: when they met, the battle they had against Eggman, all the new friends and foes they encountered in their path…
The 7 Chaos Emeralds, the Master Emerald, The Perfect Chaos affair, the Ark incident (in which they met Shadow the Hedgehog), Metal Overlord, the Black Arms invasion, etc…
All things that definitely attracted Void's attention… Particularly two names, Eggman and Shadow, sounded so familiar to him, for some reason.
Tails explained their roles in the game…
Dr Ivo Julian Robotnik, currently known as Eggman, was a brilliant scientist that, for some random motive, decided to conquer the world with his machines… Sonic has been the one who always stopped his schemes and Tails, with his intelligence that could easily match (or even surpass) the doctor's own, gave him a big hand.
As far as Shadow went… He's been created by Eggman's grandfather, Gerald Robotnik, more than 50 years ago, on the Space Colony Ark, as this world's Ultimate Life Form… He was still a mystery for everybody.
They were both sitting on the evening's coach. This learning session used to be one of the few, if not the only, moments in which the Seedrian wasn't consumed by grief… As a matter of fact, his excitement was barely contained by his clothes…
After that accident in Spagonia, Void's first dress was sequestrated by G.U.N. itself… Scientific purposes, they said… Therefore Tails had to find some new clothes for his guest, which happened to be a problem for him since, apart for gloves, socks and sneakers, he didn't have any… Most Anthros (or at least male Anthros) didn't need to wear clothes thanks to their thick fur… This plant boy, on the other hand, had only his bare skin and so, he definitely needed something to wear.
Luckily for them, a certain enthusiastic, pink hedgehog was able to resolve the situation…
Currently, Void was wearing the typical thug tracksuit, totally white in color… she managed to find a dress that matched his measures… It was meant for average 10 years old human kids… A thing that, in void's opinion, and probably in anyone else's, was seriously humiliating.
Back to the present.
"Today, I wanna talk you about the latest crisis this world has witnessed and by far, the most serious… The Dark Gaia crisis!" Tails added with an ominous tone, almost as if he was telling a scary bedtime story to a child… In a way, he was.
Void stood tall in his sitting position, he was clearly curios.
The story began.
Dark Gaia used to be an enormous hyper-energetic organism… A God, you could say… That lived inside this planet's very core…
That until Dr Eggman didn't free him by destroying the planet into 7 different pieces, and all thanks to the power of the 7 Chaos Emeralds and an uber powerful cannon from his spaceship… He wanted to use the powers of the beast in order to create his own empire… His Eggmanland, as he called it…
Unfortunately for him, and for all of us, his hasty and idiotic actions almost caused our demise as the beast, once being complete, tried to engulf our shattered world into eternal darkness… Luckily, Sonic once again saved the situation and, with the power of the emeralds, he turned super and defeated the creature…
Saving this ungrateful world for the umpteenth time.
And so, the world has been destroyed and then, restored… This was definitely a messed up dimension, as Void realized.
"So… Let me get this straight, there used to be a Godlike creature inside the core of your world?" A reasonably bewildered Seedrian asked.
"And there it still is, right now!"
"WHAT!!!?" And now, he was utterly frightened.
Tails tried to reassure him.
"But it's asleep now, and it'll be like it for another few millions years! Its awakening wasn't supposed to happen so early… There's nothing to worry about."
That… Didn't quite work.
"Nothing to worry? NOTHING TO WORRY!!!? You just told me there is a monster who's awakening could cause the destruction of Earth, living right under my feet AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO NOT BE WORRIED ABOUT IT!!!?"
"Uhrrrrrr… Yes?" The vulpine said while wearing his best carefree expression for the occasion.
If he would have had pupils, Void would have certainly rolled them.
"I give up… I just can't understand your dimension… It's like… Like leaving inside a fictional comic book universe or a videogame or both…"
"Yeah… I know what you mean. By the way, I have some great news for you!" The fox chimed in.
"Have you found my princess?" Void countered in (false) expectations.
The kit's foxy ears lowered down, reflecting Tails's troubled feelings at the moment.
"No… I meant… Today was THAT day." He said again, desperately trying to change the subject.
That Day… The day in which the young inter-dimensional alien would have finally exited his forced prison and been presented to the world… As a new friend of Tails.
Void couldn't contain his joy…
"Happy Happy. Joy Joy."
… Or better, his sarcasm.
"Come on, it'll be fun… All you have to do is wear a couple of sunglasses and a hat and nobody will ever recognize you!" The young kit was too enthusiastic for being stopped. "Don't worry… Amy and I will be with you."
If he would have had pupils, Void would have… Oh wait, I've already said that.
As if on cue, the obnoxious and dramatically loud voice of this world's Amy Rose made its way through the boys' delicate ears.
In just a few nanoseconds, Tails regretted in letting Amy know about his guest…
"ARE YOU GUYS, READY!!!? IT'S SHOPPING TIME!!!"
And the guys just sighed… There was no escape from this hell…
Nor from any other… Apparently.
Solitude is a sickness… Therefore, it could be cured.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong