Oda Eiichiro and Shueisha created and own One Piece.
Toriyama Akira and Shueisha created and own Dragon Ball.
I make no money from either or from this.
Season of the Cross Epoch.
And then the nocturnal sky suddenly lost every light, every shining star, and even the silver plate of the full Moon. Instead, seven lights rose from the seven smooth spheres arranged in a circle on the sandy ground of the arid valley. The lights shot up into the sky and converged into a major green glow spreading above the badlands, and the glow took an elongated, reptilian shape.
That of a gigantic scaly dragon with two long, thin horns.
"I am Sheng Long," it said with a deep, growling voice, its eyes red, "and I shall grant you a wish."
The ragged, mature man with the poofy, thick black hair dressed in patched, spent desert fatigues grinned wide and goofily, as his awed young daughter stood behind him. He raised both muscled, hairy arms and howled in glee. "Whoo! I want you to make me King of these lands… no, of this whole world!"
"I can do that," the dragon said, as an even greater light washed all over the small planet's surface.
"I wouldn't have thought the town would get so lively," the tiny bipedal reindeer in white pants plus a matching apron and chef's hat observed as he watched the cheerful masses gathered at the small restaurant in the outskirts of the formerly lifeless desert village. He stood far behind the counter, standing on a wooden stool to reach the kitchen he was flipping juicy round pieces of meal onto. "Why are they so sure that man will be a good king…?"
The barely taller fully shaved man with no visible nose serving the counter shrugged as he took another patron's order. "He seems earnest and cheerful enough in TV… I wonder how someone like that got to be king, though?"
And then he perked up in realization, his eyes widening. "Ah! I know! It has to be that!"
"Eh? What do you mean, Krillin?" the reindeer asked.
The short man looked over to the two young cute women serving tables in matching French maid uniforms. They had been working there to pay their debts off through the last couple of weeks, since they had just crashed down from Mundus Vetus. "Yuuna! Makie!" he called out. "Pack whatever you've got, we're going to hit the capital!"
"Eh?" the dark haired busty girl asked, while her shorter pink haired friend only blinked cluelessly.
Above the clouds, a gigantic whaleship was under relentless assault from three blaster gun-packing women.
"I told you to stay down!" the oldest of them, a blue haired beauty in tight orange and black, said before shooting three defense robots that advanced towards her deploying long metal tendrils meant to capture, shock, and hopefully nothing else. "Sheesh, you guys are an insult to the concept of Artificial Intelligence…Hey, Nami, Sakura, aren't you done yet?"
"All done, Bulma-neesan!" grinned the slightly taller and skinnier, orange-haired girl in the same outfit who had just slung a heavy full bag of money over her right shoulder. "Ready to split whenever you say!"
"… I still don't know what I am doing here. I doubt this will impress Sasuke-kun at all…" muttered a shorter and flatter girl with short pink hair as she also threw two much bigger bags of booty on her shoulders. Both of them were bigger than herself, as a matter of fact.
"What were you saying?" Captain Bulma asked while finishing tying the sobbing captain of the whaleship to a support railing.
"Nothing," Sakura sighed, heading down towards the nearest exit at a steady, firm pace. "We'd better hurry up or we'll miss the rendezvous!"
As they entered their own, smaller whaleship, Captain Bulma asked the black haired stacked girl at the main cabin's controls, "Haruna-chan? Are we good to go?"
The girl looked back at her and grinned, giving a thumbs up as her eyes sparkled mischievously behind her glasses. "Programmed the destination in too, Cap'n! But, are you sure this is such a smart-?"
The Captain waved a hand at her while sitting down in the co-pilot's chair and taking her boots off. "The new king and I know each other from a while back. And he knows better than not to give us this pardon… or the Paru-sama will blow his butt off!"
"Okay, and after he does that, we stop robbing ships, don't we?" Sakura hopefully asked.
"I don't remember ever saying that," Bulma rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Wasn't the idea we'd start doing it for the government from now on?"
"THAT WON'T IMPRESS SASUKE-KUN EITHER! I'M AN HONORABLE ASSASSSIN, NOT A THIEF!"
"'Corsair' sounds even cooler than 'pirate'!" Haruna happily brought her hands together before piloting the ship ahead, past the mountain range…
A small yellow car with no wheels flew across the dunes of the desert, driven by a young blond man with swirly eyebrows dressed like a cowboy, with a shiny golden badge on his chest. He kept a hand on the driving wheel while the other held a communication speaker by his mouth.
"Yes! Yes, I see! And they escaped? That's so unfortunate…" he was saying as he drove. "Of course it falls under our jurisdiction, but you'll see, right now, we are—"
"What's up, Sanji?" asked the bearded old man dressed like a sheriff from the Old West who sat by his side, with a white ermine perched on his shoulder. "Who's that?"
"Sheriff Roshi, Sir!" the young man reported. "A ship from the Zoana Trade Federation has just been hit by air pirates! I told them we'll take the case as soon as we're done with this…"
"What?!" the old man gasped. "For shame, boy! Why didja tell them that?! It's the duty of a martial artist AND a police officer to help the defenseless and punish the criminals no matter what! What's going through that head of yours now?!"
"But Sir, the king himself had called us, and—"
"The call of a king is nothing compared to the call of duty, Sanji!" the old man chided him. "Haven't you learned anything from me?"
"Yeah, Pops is right, Bro!" the ermine nodded energetically. "My other Bro would be flying right there right now! What the Hell, Hero?"
"But," Aide Sanji said, "if we don't show up in time, we'll disappoint the gals waiting for us there…!"
The old man and the ermine fell into a stunned silence of realization.
Finally, the Sheriff coughed into a fist. "W-Well, the duties of gentlemanship to ladies outrank even those of punishing evil…"
The ermine nodded. "And there's no greater evil than letting girls down. My Negi-Bro understood that, too…"
"Hurry up, Sanji!" Sheriff Roshi pointed at the endless path of dunes ahead of them. "Step on it as if your life depended on it!"
"Aye, Sir!" the blond said, accelerating as the car disappeared amidst the sea of dunes…
"That's just plain stupid!" growled the captain of the flying pirate ship… an actual, bonafide pirate galleon with black sails with monkey skulls and crossbones on them… as he sat on his regal command seat, one leg slung over the other, his head resting on an idle hand. "We don't have to bother attending!"
"But, are you sure, Captain Vegeta?" calmly asked the shapely young woman in the black qipao, with long and smooth black hair and a strong nose. "Lala-sama's instruments detected the Dragon itself. We have conclusive proof that was the power you had been after…"
The short man with spiked black hair snorted dismissively. "So what? The Dragon Balls will be useless until one year from now on! We'll look for them then! In the meanwhile, we should be doing something useful instead!"
"Eeeeeehhh? But, but I want to go!" whined the even more shapely girl with long pink hair and sporting a thin black tail capped in a spade. "You said I could go!"
Captain Vegeta tilted his pointy nose up ('TSUN!') and closed his eyes. "If it means so much for you, you can have a leave… but only for one night, Lala!"
"But I'd like if we could all go together! We'll have lots of more fun that way! The more the merrier!" Lala said, pouting all too cutely for someone so voluptuous.
"We could find Darling there!" added the just as exotic girl with little horns and a skimpy tiger fun bikini, her hair long and dark green. "He's bound to be wherever there are beautiful women-tcha!"
The captain sighed to himself, deeply annoyed. "I thought you were supposed to be *my* harem now…?"
"I never agreed to anything like that, tcha," Lum shook her head.
"I don't remember ever saying anything along those lines either," Nico Robin stated.
"Just because we slept together a few times, that doesn't necessarily mean—" Lala began.
"Okay, I get it!" the captain growled, frustrated. "Fine, like I wanted a harem of noisy prattling females like you either! Whatever, I'll go there and drop you by if you want it so much! The sooner you're out of my hair, the better!"
"Awww, the cap'n got all angry again-tcha…!" Lum giggled.
"He's so cute in a brattish way when he does that, isn't he?" Lala asked.
"I guess there are tastes for everything…" Robin gave a non-committal shrug.
Vegeta ran a hand down his face.
Up, up the mountains, a treacherous snow blizzard hissed and roared alternatively, unloading a savage barrage of icy doom upon the rocky peaks of the range. There was no sign of visible life up there, other than several pines and fir trees mostly covered by thick blankets of white…
… and three storm-weary figures trudging through the snow slowly, holding the reins of three huge, sedate moose beasts with multiple horns, which towered over them in size and furry presence. However, there was no mistake in saying all three of the humanoids leading the animals were much stronger than them, for they were all powerful fighters, proud warriors that—
"It's your fault!"
"No, it's your fault for taking us here!"
"Well, then it's your fault for letting me take us here!"
"It'll be your fault if I never see my Ojou-sama again!"
"You could have flown away while it hadn't started snowing!"
"It's been snowing nonstop since we've been here!"
"Then you could have flown before!"
The three warriors in thick snow fatigues stared multiple swords at each other.
"So," the green skinned one, the tallest of the trio, finally asked, his voice lower but no less deep, "are you sure this is the way, this time?"
The human with short green hair nodded stoically. "I'm as sure as I was last time."
"But last time you were wrong!" the short and slim pale girl with black hair tugged on it.
"Yeah, but that time I was sure and wrong, this time I'm sure and right!" Roronoa Zoro said, frowning at the compass in his hand.
"You're holding that thing upside-down!" Piccolo accused harshly, but no less correctly. "Really, how can you be that irresponsible! And stupid!"
"Shut up!" Zoro roared back. "If you know so much about finding your way, why didn't you do it before! Or now for that matter!"
"All men are stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Sakurazaki Setsuna shook her head, past her wit's limits.
"I'm not a man! Not even an actual male!" Piccolo reminded her. "Have you forgotten the hot springs already?!"
"Well, you're stupid all the same!" Setsuna shot back.
"You have no balls!" Zoro accused Piccolo.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Piccolo shot back.
"I have no balls either! What's so great about them anyway? Do they make you a better person or anything?" Setsuna added.
Zoro sweatdropped. "Hey, I never said anything like—"
One of the giant moose sighed, reached up with a hoof, and tapped on Zoro's shoulder. Then, when he didn't even notice, he just slapped Zoro's head aside so he could see…
"Ahah! See?!" Zoro pointed in the direction of the narrow train railroads crossing a bridge in the distance, an express from the West precariously chugging along over the mountain abyss. "I told you guys this way the right way from the start!"
"No, you didn't—Oh, what's the point!" Setsuna pointed with her sword towards the train. "Let's just board that thing already!"
"… that's the first good idea I've ever heard since I met the both of you…" Piccolo nodded sparsely.
"Ah! Setsuna-san?" Akashi Yuuna gasped at one of the three snow covered bandits who had just attacked her train. "Have you become a vulgar thief? Konoka will be disappointed!"
"A-Akashi-san! It's you! And Sasaki-san!" Setsuna grew even paler. "This is a misunderstanding! I, I am not robbing this train, I'm just a new passenger!"
"I thought we WERE robbing this train?" Piccolo asked.
"I DON'T KNOW YOU!" Setsuna told him.
"Have they kidnapped you, Setsuna-san? That'd be weird, because you're so strong," Makie asked, then said, "By the way, these are Krillin-san and Chopper-kun, our bosses at the restaurant we've been working at!"
"What kind of weird non sequitur is that?" Krillin wondered aloud.
Very much more Southward, a lone figure rushed through clear blue skies and over a placid tropical sea. The figure was distinctively masculine and well built, with an imposing physique that contrasted with the goofy, happy go lucky smile on his face. Solid black hair protruded into several spikes going in wildly different directions. The man who flew had a large, stuffed backpack on him, and a long wooden staff secured to his right side.
Eventually, the man reached the coastline of a continent still near the planet's Equator, and while zooming above a beach, he seemed to recognize a certain sound which made him look down with curiosity. His smile grew further into a grin as he descended low enough to strike a conversation with the thin younger man running along the beachline, in sandals, shorts, an open vest, and a straw hat.
"Hey there! Luffy!"
"Hrrrm?" grumbled the running man, who had been munching on a large chunk of boar meat he had in a hand while running, fast enough as to keep up with the flying man. Then he brightened up considerably. "Oi! But if it's Goku!"
"You're going there too, aren'tcha, Luffy?" the bigger man asked gleefully.
"Yeah!" Luffy D. Monkey, pirate and occasional prize fighter with a bounty of millions on his head, nodded vivaciously as he leapt over a fallen trunk. "I'm a bit late 'cause I got tangled in a couple adventures at Acassi, but it's all okay now!"
"Want a ride, then?" offered Son Goku, the Monkey King from the East. "I still got Kinto'un, you know!"
"It's alright, alright!" Luffy laughed out loud, never slowing down. "I like going on foot best! It makes me hungrier for the banquet!"
"I see, that's a good idea, but…" Goku said right before Luffy reached the edge of a cliff and fell down, "… don't'cha think flight has its advantages, too?"
"I ONLY CAN FLY STRAIGHT DOOOOOOOOWN!" Luffy cried as he plummeted, stretching his arms to try and grasp on the walls of the cliff, but only holding onto crumbling stone.
Goku sighed, then called out loudly, "KINTO'UN!"
And a small golden cloud came down from the upper layers of the atmosphere, quickly zooming down to catch the stretching man in his freefall.
"Uwaaaa!" Luffy laughed as he bounced up and down on the magical nimbus. "Hey, it's all fluffy! No wonder you like it! I changed my mind, this is fine too!"
"See? Ah ha ha," Goku laughed as they kept on flying side by side. "So, how's that quest for a crew going, anyway?"
"Well, you'll see—Awww, bummer!" Luffy's lower lip pouted up as their path was suddenly blocked by the slow descent from the clouds of a truly gigantic, gargantuan metal sphere painted shiny dark blue and white, aiming several dozens of small cannons at them. "Not those guys again!"
On top of the large round ship, there was a platform where three short creatures stood side by side, surrounded by a woman in army fatigues, a little bipedal dog in black shinobi clothes, and several dozens of bizarre, inhuman looking monsters. One of the three leading figures was a middle aged man in clown makeup and wearing a classic pirate hat; another was a tiny humanoid in royal garments, with greenish skin; and the third one was some sort alien looking parrot man wearing a buffalo's skull as a hat, holding a long black staff in a hand.
"So! We meet again at last, Idiot Heroes!" cackled the parrot dwarf. "This time, however, we stand together before you! So you've lost any chances you ever had!"
"That's right!" giggled the barely any taller greenish man. "This is the ultimate alliance of the Kings of Villainy! Emperor Pilaf!"
"Buggy, Future King of All Pirates!" boasted the clown.
"And Ludo, Sovereign of the Monster Empire!" said the parrot.
"We're going to pay you back, we'll crush you, we're making sure you never can fight again, you punch drunk punks! Nya ha ha ha ha!" Pilaf laughed hysterically.
"So," Buggy made a perverse, twisted grin, "why aren't you trading jokes at our expenses now, boys? Why so serious?"
Pilaf and Ludo stopped laughing abruptly and just glanced at him.
"What?" Buggy snorted.
Ludo put a hand on Buggy's shoulder. "Buggy, my friend… I hate to tell you this, but, well… Some clowns can pull that off. And some can't…"
"Did I ever ask for your opinions on clowns and one liners?!" Buggy yelled at him.
Luffy and Goku stared at each other in mid-air, confused.
"Do you remember ever seeing this parrot before?" Luffy asked.
"Wasn't he there that time we helped Princess Star to get her staff back?" asked the taller man.
"Ohhhhh, yeah, I think I remember now…!"
"Screw you, disrespectful youngsters!" Ludo screamed. "So what if MY arch-nemesis is a girl, that doesn't make me any less of a man!"
"Nobody has said any of that, Ludo-sama…" Pilaf's female minion respectfully pointed out.
"Oi, you guys!" Luffy called out. "Take that thing outta our way, will you? We're in a bit of a hurry right now!"
"Yeah, I mean, we were invited to an all you can eat buffet, and have you any idea how often that happens to us?" Goku asked. "We don't stand in your way when YOU have unique chances to reach happiness, do we?"
"Um, actually, yes, you do," Buggy said.
"All the freaking time," Pilaf added.
"And you don't even have the decency to remember our names afterwards!" Ludo screamed.
"But we do!" Luffy said. "That's Buffy, and that's Piltrafa, and you're—okay, you, I don't remember you at all."
"The parrot at Princess Star's country!" Goku told him.
"A vulture! A mighty vulture! Not a parrot!" Ludo threw his arms up. "Fire at will now! Blow these miserable ruffians to smithers—to smitheres—smitheress—blow them into fine dust!"
NOTHING HAPPENED, other than Zoro sneezing somewhere else.
"Why aren't you firing?!" Ludo screamed at his monsters.
"Hey," Pilaf huffed. "The monsters may be yours, but the ship is mine. So it doesn't shoot until I give the say-so."
"Huh? The ship may be yours, but I brought all the cannons! The cannons belong to me, so they don't fire until I give the orders!" Buggy corrected.
"But the monsters are manning the cannons, and the monsters are mine!" Ludo insisted. "So they should fire as soon as I said FIRE!"
"They're so insistent," Goku shook his head.
"Wanna have a fight with them?" Luffy asked him. "I know how much you love those…"
"Nah, to have a fight you need someone who can give you a fight," Goku said as he gestured back with his arms, gathering power from his chi between his hands. "But if you want a piece of it while it lasts…?"
"Fine with me!" Luffy grinned, stretching his arms and pulling them behind himself, his fists balling up. "GOMU GOMU-!"
"KAAAA-MEEEE! HAAA-MEEEEE!" Goku screamed.
"BAZOOKA!" Luffy said as he slung his fists at once against the enemy ship's hull.
"HAAAAAAA!" Goku screamed as he shot a blast of chi through the ship, blowing it to smithereens.
"GAHHHH!" Ludo screamed as the platform the villains were at was sent flying upwards, making them tumble around in all directions. "See, this wouldn't have happened of my monsters had fired!"
"Your monsters would have missed an elephant point blank in a living room!" Pilaf growled, pressing a quick sequence of buttons in a handheld control he had just pulled from one of his poofy sleeves. "Luckily I have more foresight than all of you put together!"
The platform shifted around, turning into a sleek, bird-like small aircraft that clicked as it held all of its passengers inside, then taking a swift turn towards the North, speeding away from Goku and Luffy. "You might have won today, idiots!" Pilaf's voice crackled from the inside, "But next time we'll feast over your corpses! So prepare yourselves, nya ha ha ha!"
"—isn't that a bit dark?" Ludo's voice wondered.
"And you call yourself a vulture?!" Buggy's voice said. "I've had parrots with more vulture in them perched on my shoulder!"
Goku and Luffy watched as the ship became a tinkle in the distance while flaming metal rained on the wild lands under them. "—huh," Luffy said at last. "So, we have to like put that off before we can continue, don't we? Oh, major bummer!"
"We have just identified an enemy ship ahead, Captain," Nico Robin reported dryly, taking a few annotations on an e-pad. "Judging by its design, I would say there is a good chance it might have been manufactured by the Pilaf Organization. Should Lala-sama handle it?"
"Nah," the short man snorted while rising from his seat. He rotated an arm and smirked evilly. "I might as well take this chance to vent out since God sends it my way…"
He stepped up onto the ship's main deck, raised his arms, and effortlessly blasted the bird-like much smaller ship off the sky.
"GYYYYYAAAAAAHHHHH!" someone screamed from the flaming plummeting piece of debris.
"You know," Lala said, "when MY father does something like that, there's nothing left but dust…"
"I WASN'T EVEN REALLY TRYING!" Vegeta yelled. "STOP COMPARING ME TO YOUR FATHER, WILL YOU, WOMAN?!"
"… I think that falls within our jurisdiction, as well?" Sheriff Roshi wondered, lifting his cowboy hat a bit as he watched the rising skull shaped cloud that had appeared almost as soon as that fiery shooting star had suddenly descended from the skies.
"Schedule. Party. Girls," Chamo and Sanji said at once.
"… never mind, let the salvagers handle it, then. Or the astronomists. Whatever!" the old man tossed his wrinkled hands up. "Girlies, hoooooooo!"
The flying car kept on happily hovering over the sands…
"Say whatever you want about the girl," Ludo's half charred form said from the burning wreckage, "but she's never been this inhuman!"
"Guh guh guh guh. Guh!" the spiral-eyed Buggy babbled.
"That sounds better when the Joker is saying it, too," Pilaf sobbed, twitching on the ground as minion legs stuck up from the wreckage everywhere, mostly still connected to the rest of their bodies.
And so it happens, that while this story arrives to its conclusion, the forces of a new age of heroes (and anti-heroes, we suppose) converge in a large castle over the mountains, a fountainhead of warm pleasures of friendship and camaraderie. Ships and trains and cars from all across this magical world have come together to celebrate!
It is a feast with no parallel in the history of man.
Cutting mountains of cake.
And pouring rivers of delicious tea into cups.
Jelly beans! Steaks! Chocolate bunnies! Pie! Mashed potatoes with cold beer!
Cotton candy and rice cakes! Everything you could eat was there!
"Ossu! Guys, long time no see!" Son Goku saluted as he slowly floated down onto the entrance.
"We're here, you crazy bastards! Time to start the party for real!" Luffy laughed, swinging his arms up.
"I'm starving…!" Goku slobbered as he ran towards the nearest overflowing table.
"Hey! You're late, both of you! What happened?" Bulma asked while slicing a piece of cake for Haruna, who was laughing as she nudged an uncomfortable Setsuna with an elbow.
"Goku…!" Krillin waved a hand at his oldest friend, happily.
"Hey, shouldn't Negi-kun be here too?" Makie looked in all directions while chewing the strawberry cake in her mouth.
"Yeah, and what about Uso—" Zoro began before Piccolo clamped a hand on his mouth and slowly shook his head from one side to another.
Under the hearty laugh of King Hercule Satan from his throne, the dreamy feast went on! Cross Epoch!
The End.
Ariadne Academy.
"… I think this was for you," Tabitha softly offered as she held a golden envelope for Louise and the perplexed Negi, "But it seems it got lost in the mail…"
Louise's right pink eyebrow twitched violently. "We just missed an invitation from the King himself…?!"
"And this is why we have shifted over to e-mail,"Ayase Yue observed as she stood several steps apart, watching over while sipping from a carton of exotic juice.