You have never lived, because you have never died Chapter 1: The Stranger, a 100 fanfic

PLEASE READ: Hello everybody! First of all I didn't really know in which category to post this story, because it is a Lexark story in a way, but it is neither a crossover with FTWD nor is it set in the canon world of either of the shows. It is basically "The 100" set in a zombie apocalypse with (reincarnated?) Lexa and Clarke as Alicia and Elyza.

So, that's what you're in for.

While I was stuck on my other story, I kind of started to write my own version of how Alicia/Elyza meet in this re-imagined zombie apocalypse. We're somewhere in the Siberian wastelands, and even though I'll mention real life countries and cities, this is more of an imaginary world inspired by the actual places. I thrive on drama and all those nasty and fucked up emotions and situations, so buckle up, this ain't for the faint of heart (seriously guys, not even kidding).

There are three parts and I have already finished the story, which is pretty neat since it saves me from the anxiety of not being able to get a chapter done and finally update, and you get regular updates. So a chapter, a day. I'll update sometime late afternoon-ish CET. I hope you enjoy and feel free to leave a comment.

(one last thing, the title is taken from the eponymous Listener song; the way their music is able to touch me is what I'm tying to achieve with my writing... maybe someday)

Summary: Elyza Lex and Alicia Clark meet in yet another zombie riddled alternative universe. Tensions are high. Sparks (and bullets) fly and both of them might just find what they are looking for.

A short preview of what's waiting for you:

Hesitatingly Elyza moves her hand under the jacket. She takes a step forward her mouth nearly touching the woman's chin as she runs her hands over the strangers back, checking her for any kind of weapon. There is nothing but warmth. Her hands tremble, when she runs them over the petite figure of the woman. She bites her lower lip, when she feels the softness of the stranger's breast under her fingers.

"You know, all you had to do was ask. No need for all of this pretense," the woman drawls and Elyza feels her cheeks burn up. This beautiful and infuriating woman is going to be the death of her - one way or another.

PART 1: THE STRANGER

Elyza Lex crouches closer to the fire pit savoring the warmth of the flames on her ice cold skin. They have been running around the wilds for a couple of hours now, and her legs are tired and her feet feel like they will never be warm again, but at least it isn't raining for once. She hates travelling in the rain, it's just exhausting and the danger of getting seriously ill isn't something to be trifled with in this world. Even a common cold left untreated can kill you. Antibiotics and morphine are expensive and you need to be lucky enough to find somebody who's willing to trade with you and doesn't just shoot you on sight.

The world has grown into a pretty grim and harsh place.

Finn told her to start up a fire, before he left to search for some kindling in the woods. Elyza ransacks her backpack for some they can warm up over the campfire and quickly finds her last can of spaghetti. She hasn't eaten anything since they started their journey through the forest. Elyza still isn't sure where exactly they are travelling, but she trusts Finn to know their destination.

A town called Zeleno-something. Elyza opens the can with her knife and spills some of the valuable food.

"Fuck," she curses. This is her last can, and now nearly a third of the content is gone. She raises her hand to her mouth, tasting the tomato sauce that she spilled all over her hand. It is delicious. She licks her hand clean, not really caring how dirty her hands are.

She fills the pot with the spaghetti and warms it over the fire. Using her spare jacket to sit on, she takes a seat next to the campfire. She takes her shoes off and crouches closer to the fire. Her feet still feel pretty numb, after days walking around in the tight military boot, it feels good to be able to move her toes again.

"You already got the fire started, thank god," Finn says carrying a handful of wooden sticks in his hands. He kneels down to add them to the fire and takes a seat beside Elyza. "I'm freezing."

Finn rubs his hands together and stretches them out towards the fire.

"I think I finally regained some feeling in my feet. God, why is it so damn cold?"

"We are in the midst of the Siberian tundra, we are lucky that it isn't freezing."

"Fuck, I miss the sun."

There are a lot of things she misses. She misses home so fucking much. She misses the life she built for herself, the friends she made, her family. She misses the small things, the things she took for granted. She misses the moderate climate and living in a house that has both electricity and warm water. Not having to worry about where she is going to find something to eat, or if the person she just met is conspiring to kill her and take all her stuff. She takes a deep breath, exhaling the air slowly. That life is gone. The sooner she realizes that, the sooner she will be able to accept the reality she is now in.

"So, how are you holding up, myshka?" Finn asks.

"I'm good."

Finn smiles at her, and runs a finger through his long, dark hair. In the short time they have known each other it had grown even longer. Elyza once offered to cut it for him, but he just refused and mumbled something about going hunting and just left.

"Isn't it weird how there are no zombies around here any longer?" Elyza asks as she watches the shadows that the fire casts around them. "I swear I haven't seen any since the last pa- for a couple of days I mean."

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Finn asks.

"One day they were just fucking everywhere," Elyza says with a grim voice, as she remembers how they nearly got her and Octavia. "And the next day they are just gone. It's creepy, ain't it?"

"Maybe that's all part of God's perverted plan to fuck with us," Finn notes.

Elyza raises an eyebrow at him.

"You don't even believe in God."

"Nah I don't, it was us humans that created this world, wasn't it? A bunch of egomaniacal scientists just fucking had to play God and brew up a fucking apocalypse, didn't they? They probably even thought that they were saving the world, what a fucking joke. Look what they made. Maybe they aren't done just yet, you know?"

"You're not even making sense right now - you okay?"

"Fucking Dean," Finn mumbles, and Elyza just ignores him. The closer they come to their destination, the messier and unintelligible is his talk. Finn shakes his head and looks into the fire. "Whatever. We are nearly there now. Maybe a ten minute walk left. There are a few things I'd like to talk through with you first."

"Ok."

"I haven't been to Leno for some time now, but there should be someone there to help you find your friend. Last time I was there, a couple of UN Blue Helmets took camp in the city. They are pretty well connected, so if you want to find your friend they are your go-to guys."

Elyza nods taking all the information in. She thought the UN peacekeepers were gone for good, but apparently she was wrong.

"Just remember: if they don't wear a blue helmet or a UN uniform, we stay the fuck away. I don't trust anybody here, we are too close to his territory."

"His?" Elyza asks.

"Wallace, I told you about him. They live near Green Mountain and call themselves the Mountain Men. They are bat shit crazy; Wallace thinks he is some kind of God chosen ruler. You defy him, you die." Finn explains with narrow eyes. He snorts and throws a small rock into the fire.

"Right, yeah I remember. You were living in their camp for some time, weren't you?"

"That was a long time ago."

Elyza just nods, accepting Finn's reluctance to speak about his past. They eat in silence for some time. They only have one pot, so they share it between the two of them. It's not much, but it will get them enough energy until they reach the city. Hopefully there they'll finally get a real meal again.

"You trust me, right?" Finn asks between two bites.

"Course I do."

And she does, she might not know Finn for very long, but he is the best traveling companion she's had in a long time. And at the moment he is her only chance of finding Octavia again. She has no choice but to trust him.

"When we are in the city, you do as I tell you. You don't ask questions, you follow my lead." Elyza bites her lips; she was never one to follow orders. "I understand that you have reservations, but these are my rules. If you don't agree, we don't go in there."

"I agree," Elyza finally says.

"There are some really bad people around this area, myshka. They enjoy hurting you, they enjoy making you scream, making you cry out loud in pain... trust me I got some first hand experience. If we see them, we run. If anything seems even remotely out of the ordinary, we run. We run and don't look back."

They spend some time watching the town from afar. Finn is adamant that they scout the area, before entering the small and seemingly empty town. Finn lies down next to a bush on a hill that overlooks Zelenogorsk. He gives Elyza his binoculars, while he uses the magnifying scope on his rifle to scan the town.

After ten minutes of doing nothing but lie in the dirt and look at the empty city, Finn decides it is safe to go in. They haven't seen a single undead and no sign of any survivors in the small town. Regardless Finn never stops being on guard. Even now they tiptoe around the city, hell bent on not making any noise to direct someone's attention to them. They are on their way to the old police station on the other side of the town, where the Blue Helmets are supposed to have their headquarters.

They walk through the back garden of a small house and are just about the make their way onto the only street in the town, when Finn makes a sign for her to stop. They are in between a huge wooden fence and the small one story house the garden belongs to. Even if there is somebody in town, there is no way they can spot them here.

Finn leans forward to check the street, and Elyza is about to follow her companions example, when a hand stops her. Finn's strong hand is pressing painfully into her breast and Elyza stumbles back a few steps.

"Ouch," Elyza whines.

Finn is on her in a second. He turns around with a swiftness Elyza didn't think him to be capable of and presses her against the fence. Finn's hand is on her mouth rendering Elyza unable to say anything. With her other hand Finn indicates for her to be quiet.

Elyza just nods not really understanding what is happening.

Finn resolves his hold on her and turns back towards the street. He leans forward his body still safely hidden behind the fence and a bush. Stoically he watches the street for what feels like forever.

When he turns back, his eyes are cold.

"Get your gun out, Elyza," Finn whispers, while he simultaneously takes his rifle into his hands. For a moment Elyza hesitates, only now she remembers that she had maybe neglected to mention to Finn that she never even fired the weapon. "Now!"

Elyza scrambles to get the shotgun off her back. The gun feels heavy in her hands, the metal ice cold from the chilly Siberian autumn. Her fingers tremble uncontrollably, when her index finger brushes the trigger.

"Um, Finn… I don't-"

"Not now," he hisses without looking at Elyza. He moves forward again and his eyes are glued to something Elyza can't see. "She hasn't noticed anything yet."

"She?" Elyza asks her voice a pitch higher than before. She tries to move past Finn to get a look at whoever her companion believes to be a threat to them, but again she is stopped by Finn's strong arms. Finn pushes her back.

"Stay behind me."

"It might be Octavia."

"It's not."

Finn doesn't even know her friend, so how could he tell if it was or wasn't her; yes, Elyza told him how she looks like, but still... Finn seems ready to shoot whoever is on that street. She is not going to let anybody hurt her friend. Not again. Not Octavia.

So, Elyza moves past Finn, while her companion is focused on the figure on the street. Even from afar Elyza immediately tell that it's not Octavia. Shit. Finn furiously stares at her and takes a step forward, blocking Elyza from view.

"Put your hands where I can see them!" he shouts loud enough for the stranger to hear him. His voice rings in Elyza's ears.

The woman stops moving, her whole body freezing at the spot. She still has her back turned towards them, so all Elyza can see is the huge backpack, and long, dark braids. No weapon, as least as far as she can see. Her hands are up almost immediately.

"I'm unarmed," the woman says in perfect English. Her voice sounds rough like she hasn't used it in a long time. She clears her throat, the noise echoing through the vacant streets.

Finn seems unfazed by her admission.

"Turn around. Slowly," he demands. Not for the first time Elyza is surprised how cold and calculated Finn appears. It is such a stark contrast to the funny and easy going guy that she got to know on their journey together. He gestures for Elyza to follow him, while he takes slow and measured steps towards the woman.

Mystery woman complies with the orders; her hands are still raised high above her head, when she turns.

She is wearing a face mask with a black and white pattern. Elyza can't really make the pattern out, but it looks like there are a bunch of skulls on the cloth. She's wearing a black riders jacket and a pair of dark jeans. The skin around her eyes is jet black, she looks terrifying.

They stop meters away from her. The stranger still hasn't said anything else.

"Elyza, check her stuff."

Elyza remembers Finn's talk from before, when he told her to do exactly as he says. Even though she doesn't think the woman is a threat to them, she still makes her way towards her. She puts the shotgun back on her back, happy to no longer have the deadly weapon in her hands.

"God, I'm so sorry about this," Elyza says quiet enough that Finn can't hear her. At least Elyza hopes her traveling companion isn't able to hear her words, she can imagine the verbal scolding Finn would give her for… fraternizing with a potential threat. "Um, can you- you know drop your backpack? Please," she adds.

The woman just looks at her plainly and shrugs her shoulders, before shrugging out of her backpack and giving it to Elyza. Elyza opens it and takes a quick peek inside. There are a couple of cans, sodas, canteens and a few bags of rice in there. Nothing that seems even remotely dangerous.

"She's got nothing in here but food."

Finn nods his eyes never leaving the stranger. His weapon is still trained at the woman who seems unfazed by the barrel pointed at her face. Elyza closes the heavy backpack and puts it on the ground.

"That's what I told you," the stranger says her voice muffled through the face mask. She starts to move her arms down, but Finn cuts her off by taking a step forward. His gun is now only centimeters away from the woman's face.

"Keep your hands up," Finn reminds her sternly. He is still very tense and the discovery that the woman is in fact unarmed doesn't seem to calm his nerves in the least; on the contrary, he seems even more stressed out by now. "Into the building, now."

"Finn, what are you doing?"

"Just do as I say."

"I know we never talked about this, but I'm not at all comfortable with robbing or you know hurting people..."

"I'm not going to rob her."

"Then-"

"Don't you understand?" Finn interrupts. "She's not alone."

"Oh."

"Inside, now!" Finn insists.

Elyza does what she says without asking another question. It's an old building, two stories as far as Elyza can tell. The door is already broken up, most of them are nowadays. Large groups of scavengers band together almost as fast as the infection spread throughout the country. Armed with whatever they could get their hands on, from firearms, to axes, to pitchforks to baseball bats they raided the cities and broke down every door that was in their way. After the civil order broke down, most of the still surviving UN peacekeepers, national guard, military forces and aid workers fled the country in hope of escaping the impending catastrophe. As far as Elyza knows they closed the borders shortly after that in hopes of containing the outbreak. Elyza never came close enough to the borders to be able to verify that, but she heard stories about the Russian military shooting not only the walkers, but everybody that dared to come to close to the border.

Finn leads them into what was probably a living room before all of this started. He motions for the woman to stand on the opposing side of the room, while he leans against the wall his weapon still trained at the stranger.

"Check her."

Elyza blinks at Finn.

"I don't think she has anything on her… she seems like we can trust her. There was only food-"

"Radi trakhayet, just do it. I don't want to get shot in the back, just because you reckon her to be trustworthy."

Finn slowly seems to loose his cool.

"I-," Elyza wants to protest, but realizes it's useless to argue and Finn might just be right. "Ok."

She takes a step towards the stranger, who casually listened in on their argument and even though Elyza can't see the lower half of her face she gets the feeling that the woman is smirking at the two of them. She seems amused and not even a mite anxious. Elyza knows she'd be scared shitless if two stranger were pointing their guns at her and arguing about what to do with her.

"So, um… I'm just going to, you know," Elyza awkwardly says, while she starts to pat the stranger down. With both hands she starts to pat down her arms, the leather feels rough and cold under her fingers. The woman must be freezing under there. "Can you, um… open your jacket for me?"

The woman starts to move her hands down, but Finn interjects again. "No, no you keep em up high. Elyza, you do it."

Elyza feels her heart nearly jump out of her chest, when she fumbles with the zipper of the jacket. She hasn't touched another person since… God knows how long. The sound of the zipper opening rings loud and sharp in her ears. She makes the mistake of meeting the woman's gaze. Bright green eyes stare back at her and almost immediately Elyza feels her cheeks burn up. The stranger makes no inclination to look away, but instead watches Elyza's every move.

Elyza is quick to avert her eyes.

"Quiet," Finn interrupts harshly.

Elyza shoots her companion a quick glance. Finn is still very stoic; only the way his lips are tensely pressed together reveal that he is not as cool about this as he is trying to appear. She clears her throat and takes a step back.

"Can you, um... turn around."

The woman raises an eyebrow, but does what Elyza tells her to. She leans against the wall and uses her hands that are still raised above her head to support herself. She spreads her legs without request. Elyza finds it suddenly very difficult to breathe. Her heart is beating violently in her chest.

"Hurry up," Finn demands impatiently.

Elyza quickly checks both the front and the back pockets of her jeans for weapons and tries to ignore he fact that she is touching the stranger quite intimately. She is not surprised, when she doesn't find anything.

"I'm done. She is clean."

Even before the woman is able to make any inclination to turn around, Elyza has already retreated back to Finn's side bringing a safe distance between the two of them. Finn looks at her oddly, before he regards the woman.

"Now we talk. You can turn back around and take your hands down. And would you mind taking that ridiculous face mask off."

The brunette turns around her eyes finding Elyza at once. With a swift movement she takes the mask off. The darkness around her eyes is face paint that runs down her cheeks in a tribal like pattern. Elyza is immediately reminded of the fur pattern of a raccoon and she has to stifle a laugh. The paint looks both intimidating and ridiculous at the same time; and it does remind her of a pretty darn trashy TV series she used to watch as a kid about a group of teenagers that are the only people left on earth after a virus killed all adults. They too were very keen on wearing absurd paint on their faces.

God, that was a long fucking time ago.

The only difference is that this woman is something else. She's damn beautiful. Without the mask Elyza can see the way the brunette smirks at her, a playful glint in her eyes. She almost looks like she is enjoying this. "We don't mean you any harm. And I'm sorry for the inconvenience, I'm sure you understand the necessity of our actions."

"Oh, no inconvenience at all. I rather enjoyed that."

She winks at Elyza.

"Right," Finn says, "I have a couple of questions and I want the truth. You think you can do that?"

The woman just shrugs.

"I take that as a yes. Are you alone?"

"Yes."

"Try again."

"Yes, I am currently alone. Apart from you and your beautiful friend over there that is." She grins at Elyza.

"You know what I mean. Did you come here alone or is there anybody with you?"

"Why didn't you ask that from the beginning?" she smiles sweetly at Finn, who is seething by now. "I came here with my sister. She should be around here somewhere."

"Do you have any way to contact her?"

"I did. I had a radio, before you idiot made me leave the backpack in the middle of the street."

"Take my radio." Finn hands it to her. "Tell her to stay the fuck out of the building or I'll shoot you. No tricks."

Elyza blinks at her friend. She doesn't really understand where all the aggression is coming from, the brunette has honestly done nothing to deserve Finn treating her like that.

"What Finn means to say," Elyza starts trying to make her voice sound even, "is to tell her that you are fine and will be with her very soon. We won't hurt you."

The stranger raises her eyebrow, before she starts turning some of the dials until he finds the right radio channel. She quickly relays the message, before handing the radio back to Finn.

"There. You happy?"

"Very much so," Finn grimaces, and puts the radio back into his backpack. "I'm going to put my gun down now," Finn unnecessarily describes his actions. He still keeps the gun in his hands, but points it to the ground instead of at the woman's face. "You don't need to be afraid of us."

The brunette just huffs in indignation.

"Do I look like I'm afraid to you?"

"No, you don't. I wonder why that is..." Finn trails off, but the brunette doesn't dignify him with an answer. "Do you live here or did you just pass by the town?"

"In Leno? This place is a dump. I was just stocking up on our supply. We set camp a couple of miles from here."

"We?"

"Me and my family."

Elyza feels a pang of pain in her chest at her words. Sometimes she is surprised that people still had that. Families. She lost hers a long fucking time ago. It hurt even thinking about them.

"How many of you are there?"

"What is this? An inquisition? I'm not going to tell you jack shit."

"Just curious."

"Sure, just casually trying to find out if you can raid my family or if it is too much of a risk. I know people like you."

"People like me?"

The brunette opens her mouth, eager to insult Finn again, but instead she closes it again without any words finding their way out. Instead for the first time she really looks at Finn. Her eyes wander over Finn, she takes in every little detail of his body. Something akin to recognition flashes in her eyes, Finn raises his eyebrows at that.

"Do I know you?" Finn asks his voice wavering for the first time.

The woman straightens up and takes a timid step towards them.

"I don't know? You tell me: have you ambushed many unarmed women lately? Maybe I remind you of one of your former victims."

"This is not... We are not- chyort, woman. We don't want to hurt you. We just want some information, alright? No need to get your panties in a twist for fucks sake."

"I'm not-"

They are staring at each other, both seething in anger. This is not going very well, they are wasting valuable time, in which Octavia could be badly hurt or captured and held hostage. Elyza needs to do something to stop them from attacking each other, because they look like they are about to get into a nasty fight.

One Finn would most definitely win, with a gun pointed at the stranger and all that.

"Finn, can we please just get the information and get out of here," Elyza finally finds her voice again. Finn nods without looking at her. He takes a couple of seconds to compose himself, before addressing the woman.

"Anyway, we are here for the Blues. You seen them around lately?"

"What do you want with those idiots?"

"Just answer my question."

"No, they haven't been around for some time. Thank God, I have never seen a more disorganized, self-righteous lot of intolerant and misogynistic nitwits before."

"I don't think we're talking about the same people here."

"I'm pretty sure we are. A bunch of half-grown manchilds in stupid uniforms and a bright, blue helmet."

Finn remains silent.

"But Wells would never..." he finally says.

"General Jaha is dead. His own kru killed him." Finn stumbles a few steps back, his back roughly slamming into the concrete wall. He is shaking his head violently. The stranger just continues with a dishonest apology. "I'm sorry. Like I said, they are nothing more than a band of crazed monkeys running around thinking the world belongs to them now. They left Leno about a week ago."

"Fuck, he can't be gone... he was the last one that-," Finn mumbles to himself, before he straightens up. He runs a hand over his eyes and wipes any sign of emotion from his face. "Did they at least bury him?"

"Yeah, somewhere behind the school."

"Thank you. Again I'm sorry about the inconvenience, seems like we bothered you for nothing... like I said we are not thieves, your stuff is still outside, we are not going to take anything from you."

"How gracious," the woman scoffs.

They stare at each other, each about to get right into it again, but finally Finn just shakes his head and turns around. Finn walks right by Elyza, his arm brushing into Elyza's shoulder.

"Come on, Elyza. We need to go."

"Just one second."

She turns back towards the stranger, who is watching her intently. She doesn't think she has ever meet somebody that looked at her the way this woman did. Like she fucking knew her or something.

"I'm looking for somebody. A woman, about my height and age, long dark brown hair and she always wears this stupid red beret which looks just ridiculous if you ask me... oh and she loves to wear leather," she trails off barely able to contain her worry.

The brunette watches her without saying anything. With a sigh Elyza nods and turns around to follow Finn who is already out of the room and about to leave the building.

"Wait," the woman calls after them. "I might know somebody like that. A week ago, we found a girl in the woods, Octavia or something. She was half starved and looking for her friend. I assume that's you?"