IT COULD ONLY HAPPEN TO JOHNNY
by Demi Elliott 2007
They'd been planning for months; this was going to be the best bash ever held in the recorded history of fire stations. Captain Stanley had passed his Chief's exam and would shortly move on to his new position and his men wanted to provide him with an A#1 First Class send-off!
With a little pleading (and maybe just a bit of blackmail), Station 10's B shift had "volunteered" to substitute just so that all three shifts working out of Station 51 could be in attendance together.
For the past week, things had been in frenzied and the guys, not to mention their wives, mothers, and girlfriends had rotated cooking, decorating, and managing the varied other tasks that putting on a bash of this size entailed. But somehow, things had come together and the big day was upon them at last. They were ready!
Finally, their last shift was over and, of course, it had turned out to be one of the most exhausting ever, as they battled for hours against a fire located at the top of one of the tallest buildings located in L.A. They'd trudged up and down so many steps that even Johnny and Chet didn't have the energy to gripe. But they were back now and together, at least until after the party tonight.
As the big bay doors closed, the exhausted men wearily climbed off the engine and straggled towards the day room door. The squad rolled up and Mike hit the button to close the doors as Johnny and Roy followed along behind their shift mates.
As was his custom and to forestall arguments, Captain Stanley had the men draw straws to determine who would get the first shower. A frown appeared on Johnny's face as he drew the longest straw and realized he would get the last shower.
One by one, the guys got their showers and began setting up for the party. Their guests began to arrive, each bringing requested food, drink, and other essential party items. Things were looking quite festive when Johnny finally got his chance for a shower.
Johnny began to strip once the locker room door shut and he dragged himself into the shower. He felt so tired; he could barley keep his eyes open. He leaned against the wall and fell asleep before he had the chance to even turn on the water.
All of a sudden his eyes snapped open, as he became aware of burning stings all over himself. He attempted to yell for help, but was starting to have difficulties breathing and could barely make a sound. In a panic, he rushed out of the shower and ran through the dorm and across the bay into the day room.
Needless to say, everyone was shocked when Johnny burst into the day room, attired only in his birthday suit, and interrupted the festivities as he made his way across the room, jumping, writhing, and slapping at himself. For a moment in time, the guys, not to mention their various wives, children, and the visiting VIP's all sat frozen, stunned and speechless.
Roy recovered first and rushed towards him; and then yelled for assistance as he realized the cause of his partner's frantic dance. He began pulling Johnny outside as he yelled: "Mike, get the hose, he's covered in fire ants! I think he's having an allergic reaction!!" "Marco, Chet, get the equipment!" "Cap, get ahold of Rampart…"