Eh, rated for death, blood and minor cursing. I got upset over something, so… I figured this would be better than doing something stupid. So, good luck, slightly Shonen-ai content, death, blood, Ryou and Bakura… eh, I hate abbreviations… Whatever, good luck. –Ryo Gin
Again. Again you've gone and thrown everything I thought I could do away. How many times will I be your disappointment? How long will it take for life to change and for you too really care? But you don't- and maybe you never will.
I gave life a chance and I tried so hard to understand and maybe love a little. No. So what do you do? Crush me like I'm nothing. Try and get rid of who I am? Try and kill who I ever could have been or was? Don't start things you can't finish you jerk. Don't, because I can take anything- I already have.
What should I care about anything you do? I know now, that I don't exist enough for you. I will never ever be good enough to fit in your world and be good enough for your standards. Tell me what you really think. Go ahead, what part of my heart doesn't hurt that it will make any difference? So many times have you done so much that I feel so damn empty every signal time I smile.
And yes, every smile is fake- everyone a mockery of the happiness that it represents. So go ahead and do your worst.
Ever since you burst into my life and took over, nothing I ever do is good enough for you. I dared to love you and you smiled and just stabbed my heart through with every fucking word. Hate me and break me you fool. Because I am no longer who you though I ever was. Innocent when you found me I am now what you wanted- and this is what you wanted isn't it? For me to fall apart just enough to become another person like you. So am I good enough yet? I stopped caring about anything- I gave up in my life and my friends and any family I might have had. With you around I am much better off alone. Don't these scars on my wrists tell you anything? That I'm still not good enough, right! That I still don't have the real guts to kill my self?
Well guess what? You're wrong! You have never been so horribly wrong in your life. I want nothing to do with anything like a life anymore. I don't care? Who will miss me? Not you. Not the people at school who beat the shit out of me every day. Not the people I try and call friends- yet who I still will never exist to. You have what you want; you have a life of your own. What do you need me for? You don't, right? You only needed me for so long. I'm expendable, like always.
God, I'm crying… I'm crying damnit… Do you know how much I've cried over you? Do you know how much each tear rips away a piece of myself? Do you even care? God you're a basterd. Blood and tears- do you understand this as a language when my words didn't get through to you? Damn you-damn you to hell for all of this and don't you come near me.
It hurts a little, the blade sliding through my skin. It hurts not at all in comparison to what you've put me through! No! Get away from me! Don't you try and help me! Get away! Now both my wrists are bleeding. What does it matter? I live only because my heart beats- so get away- I don't want your help! I don't want anything but for it to end, for maybe… maybe…
So this is what dying feels like…? Well… it doesn't hurt that much… where was I… oh yes… maybe for you to love me… but that's too much…. Too much to ask of you…. I can't see too much and I can't see you… oh well… maybe you can't see me… what's that matter….? Good-bye Bakura… Good-bye forever… No!... Stop…! I don't want your help… get away…
By the way…
I…love…
I… love you…