A/N: Hey, it's another parody of Glee! This time of the episode Duets… I love Glee, but it's so easy to make fun of! you can flame if this story sucks, I'm still not exactly sure if I'm funny or not…
Glee Club rehearsal:
Schue: How about we do some… duets? The winners will get a gift card to BreadstiX, and best of all, we actually pick a winner for this contest!
Single people in Glee Club: Oh shit.
Hall:
Kurt: Hey, Sam!
Sam: Fjfgwdjsie. That's Wookie for hello.
Kurt: … ok… so since you dye your hair, you're obviously gay.
Sam: What?
Kurt: Nothing. Want to sing a duet together and get a dinner at BreadstiX?
Sam: Why not?
Kurt: That is so gay.
Sam: …
Finn: *being douchebaggy* Sam! You can't sing a duet with Kurt, everyone will think you're gay! YOU'LL BE STONED AND HUNG OUT TO DRY!
Sam: Yeah, you realize we're only performing the duets in front of the glee club, right? Not the whole school?
Finn: Shh, you're ruining the moment.
Sam: …
Library:
Tina: Asian.
Mike: Asian.
Tina: ASIAN!
Mike: Fine.
Glee Club room:
Finchel: *sing duet* WE'RE GONNA WIN!
Rachel: I'm such a bitch.
Finn: Nah… actually, yeah, can't argue there.
Rachel: Shut up, I'm having a moment. LET'S THROW THE COMPETITION!
Finn: Yeah, let's be terrible so Sam wins! Then he'll be soooo popular!
Rachel: … yeah, you realize we're forgetting everyone hates Glee Club, so if he wins, he'll probably be less popular.
Finn: Now you're just ruining your self-redemption.
Rachel: Oh, never mind then!
Cafeteria:
Finn: You. Can't. Sing. A. Duet. With. Sam.
Kurt: … why not, it's not like it's in front of the whole school.
Finn: Shut up. As I was saying, Sam will be ruined. HE'LL GET BURNED AT THE STAKE!
Kurt: Sam's gay anyway. One glance at THE HAIR and you can't deny it!
Finn: Stereotypes.
Kurt: Shut up.
Locker room:
Sam: Since I am not a douche, I will honor my humble commitment to Kurt.
Finn: *cough*gay*cough*
Sam: What?
Finn: Nothing! I'M NOT A HOMOPHONE! *runs out*
Sam: What the hell just happened?
Lockers:
Santana: Mercedes, sing a duet with me. WE BE GOING TO BREADSTIX!
Mercedes: What's the big deal about BreadstiX?
Santana: Breadsticks. Food.
Mercedes: OMG, food? LET'S DO THIS!
Kurt's home:
Kurt: Dad, I'm pulling out of the duet competition.
Burt: I'm proud of you, son, you won't let Finn's subtle homophobia get to you- wait, WHAT?
Kurt: Speaking of which, where does he live now that you kicked him out?
Burt: Eh, he was probably homeless for a while, but he came back a week ago! How did you not notice…?
Kurt: Honestly, sometimes I forget we're stepbrothers.
Locker room:
Kurt: Hey, Sam, don't mind my camera. How's the shower?
Sam: Well, this is awkward. Why do people in this school always come in when other people are showering?
Kurt: Anyway, I'm pulling out of the duet competition. Your hair color will be the only thing left to bully you about besides your lips.
Sam: …
Sam: Wait, my hair color's real!
Kurt: …right.
Hall:
Brittany: Artie. Let's do a duet.
Artie: Why not? Just whatever you do, DON'T have sex with me!
Brittany: I promise.
Artie's room:
Brittany: For our duet, we're gonna do it.
Everyone watching Glee: Secretly wonders if the entire episode's premise was only so they could use that line.
Hall:
Artie: Dammit Brittany, why didn't you stop me?
Brittany: You realize I wasn't the only one willing… otherwise it wouldn't have happened.
Artie: … that was actually pretty logical.
Brittany: Yeah, but we shun logic! Besides, Lord Tubbington told me to say that when he was high.
Artie: GET OUTTA HERE! I'll probably want you back later, but ANGST! You clearly used me for my voice, even though I was going to sing with you before we even had sex!
Brittany: Did the big unicorn in the sky tell you that? Because he lies a lot- I mean… NOOO ANGST!
Glee Club room:
Glee Club: *votes*
Rachel: Well, if I'd known we were going to vote ourselves, we could've just voted for Sam instead of doing all that work-
Finn: Shh, don't be logical.
Schue: QUINN AND SAM WIN! This wasn't done in an obvious attempt to get you to date and start an awkward love triangle, I SWEAR!
BreadstiX:
Quinn: The premise of this episode being everyone loves the breadsticks here, THEY SUCK! I don't like you, by the way.
Sam: I know, but I'm still going to forcibly pursue you. PWEASE LIKE ME?
Quinn: Never. The last time I fell in love, I got pregnant.
Sam: That was basically a one night stand because you felt fat.
Quinn: Whatever, not the point.
Sam: You know, I actually dyed my hair. And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for that meddling kid Kurt Hummel and his gaydar!
Quinn: OMG, I'M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU!
THE END.