1
Euna rubbed her eyes as the words began to swim in the candle light. The books and shelves were cast in shadows around her but she felt calm, the comforting weight of her staff on her back was one of the reasons. Secondly, she was currently in the castle library. Besides Fort Draken, the Royal Palace was the strongest building in Denerim. She heard a guard walk by earlier, yawning yet still vigilant. Lastly, the third reason lay with her recently bestowed title: "The Hero of Fereldan". She was a bit taken back by the title. The same title that once belonged to the man who framed and tortured her fellow brothers, the man who sent an assassin and set a bounty on her head, the man who was once revered as a hero but lost it all because of blinded rage and insanity. Of course, she was reluctant to accept such a title, even much so since she was the end for the last "hero". However, it added to her infamy and those with evil intentions gave her a wide berth.
She tried to regain concentration and focus on the documents before her. Even though she was called a hero most of her work revolved around advising the King, one who likes to push the decisions on her and the Queen, Anora. Euna did not resent him for doing such, he never wanted the crown in the first place but peace demanded it, or something along those lines. Though her eyes followed the words before her, her mind kept drifting back to the "bastard King".
The blight had ended three months ago. Euna somehow managed to convince the people that the Old God's essence escaped into Riordan after she struck the final blow. It was the only explanation she could think of on the spot. Even though Riordan had died and not she, all their allies had seen her sink the blade into the beast. Alistair played his part, pretending to be clueless about the situation. Sometimes, especially at times she was alone like this she felt the lead of guilt weighing on her. It was no wonder he would not look at her anymore, after what she made him do.
She pushed away from the desk clearly she was not going to finish reviewing the complaints and whatnot the citizens sent by the dozens every day. She wandered the candle lit corridors nodding to the few guards she passed. They stiffly saluted her, and she smiled weakly. She was never going to get used to that. She was a mage after all, yet that was not how these people saw her. That alone brought her some hope for her fellow mages at the Circle. Another sigh.
"Jowan." She whispered into the night. She had sought Irving before the celebrations began all those months ago. When she asked what fate befell her friend, he just shook his head and said, "It had to be done." It seemed their worst fear did come true; Jowan underwent the Rite of Tranquility. Irving had sent requests for her to visit the Circle and give a lecture to the other apprentices yet she ignored each one. Wynne had finally confronted her when the First Enchanter sent her the message instead. As always, the elderly mage was able to get Euna to open up about her problems. She expressed her guilt towards Jowan, how she was unable to save him and her regrets about not knowing about his secrets sooner. They were best friends since she arrived at the circle at the age of eight yet she never found anything odd about the way he was acting. Wynne, as the voice of reason, consoled her how she could not have known and that she did what she could. Still, those words, though nice felt empty to her. Euna knew she would not be able to bear looking into the eyes of her friend, the one who she considered a brother, and see the emptiness there. She remembered Owain with his lifeless eyes, monotone voice, and unnerving lack of emotion. Wynne said she understood and would inform Irving of her reasons. She was grateful when the letters from the Circle stopped.
Euna walked into the inner courtyard and breathed in the night air. She sat down by the large fountain at the center, and gazed at her reflection. It had only been about a year since she left the Circle, and became a full-fledged mage and began her new and exciting life with the Grey Wardens, yet the eyes staring back at her were too different to be her own. They still were the same light spring green but had seen things most girls her age would not dream of seeing. Did she envy them with their mundane lives and useless gossiping for who fancies who? Maybe. Being a Grey Warden was something she never wanted but that was the story of her life; always having things forced upon her but did she have a choice? Not really. But then again if it were not for Duncan, she would not be here today; thanks to Jowan's amazing escape, the mages prison or worse would have been her fate. If it were not for Duncan, she would have never have found love. She glanced at the darkened balcony across from her, scanning it for movement, maybe for shadows of lovers squirming beneath the sheets. Not that she was looking for that, not at all. Plus, the angle was all wrong, she kept telling herself. She sighed and splashed at the water, the ripples distorted her reflection. Was it really like what people say? That it was better to have loved then to never have loved at all?
After the wedding Alistair refused to talk to her unless it was absolutely necessary which was only when deciding political matters. "Alright I'm off to town now! Try not to burn the palace down while I'm gone" or "Whatever the chancellor says is good, now I'm off to do some...uh kingly duties." This was fine by Anora to have Alistair far from these meetings even though it left her and Euna arguing over matters while the others of court sat back with slightly amused looks. Euna did not mind these frequent meetings, studying documents and diving into issues kept her mind distracted from certain tall blond things specifically.
Soft footsteps were approaching behind her. Too soft to be of a guard. An assassin maybe? There were few loyal to Loghain, very few but the possibility was still there.
"So finally decided to show yourself." She kept her voice calm and her eyes trained on the water. Her muscles were tense, and her heart was beating in anticipation of the first attack.
"Oh were you expecting someone? I can leave if you would like." The light female voice was not what she expected. Euna turned slowly as her brain tried to conceive of the woman before her. Golden locks neatly pinned into two buns and a sky blue robe that accented her clear azure eyes.
"A-Anora?" She asked disbelieving. Why would be the queen be here? Yes, it was the castle, but Queen Anora was not known for her midnight rendezvous.
Anora raised a fine blonde eyebrow. "What? This is my castle, is it not? I can wander it as I please."
"But of course, your majesty-"
"Oh hush. We're not in court are we? You need not address me as such." With grace that must have been instilled since childhood, the Queen sat beside her. She fixed her cool, calculating eyes on Euna, making her fidget on the inside.
"Umm was there something you wanted?" Euna asked.
"Me? Oh nothing, I just wanted to know why the royal chancellor looks more like a walking ghoul than a person. Oh, do not give me that look. Ever since the coronation you have been acting...odd. But you are not the only one." Euna's ears perked up.
"I'm not?" Anora smirked and Euna flinched. The queen was the daughter of one of Fereldan's best generals. There was nothing she wanted that she could not get, especially if it was information.
"I gave you my permission did I not? Our marriage is solely political. We are required to have an heir but otherwise whatever or whomever he did was none of my concern. That is if you do not embarrass me, which you have not." She ran pale fingers through the water. "You have everything you could want. You are a hero, lover of a king; you have him in the palm of your hand. So tell me what is with this depressed act for?"
"I'm not depressed!"
"And I'm a dalish elf." Anora said. Euna glared at her, how could she not know what was going on? "Is Alistair...?" The queen blushed deeply, her royal poker face failing.
"Is he what?"
"You know, is he having problems in-"
"If he was, I wouldn't know." She cut off quickly. "He…We aren't together anymore." Euna could feel her defenses crumbling, her eyes watering. She wiped them away hurriedly as Anora stared on. "Before you even ask, yes it is because of you. Alistair...he's too good. He said it wasn't fair to y-you or your child so before the final battle he broke it off. I stayed though, hoping he would change his mind but he won't talk to me or even look at me. He won't even call me by my name! It's either hero this or chancellor that." She shook her head bitterly and continued in a softer tone. "I keep reminding myself that this was the only way to keep the nation united; your marriage saved this nation."
"Don't be ridiculous! Of course, the marriage stopped people from beginning a civil war but you; you were the one that saved Fereldan. As your queen, I owe that to you."
Euna was shaking her head, "Anora, you are too kind. I-what I did to your father. You don't have to keep up pretenses anymore. I know you hate me and you hate the fact that I'm still here." Anora glanced at her clasped hands and remained silent. "It's understandable. You are queen but you are human first." Euna stood and brushed off her skirt. "Thank you Anora for being so kind and civil towards someone like me but I fear I overstayed my welcome. I know that Alistair is uncomfortable with me around. I must ask for a leave of absence."
"Absolutely not!" Anora was standing her eyes were burning blue fire. "Do not believe you know me or what I think after only a few months Warden. I understand what you did was best for my father... he died a noble death. If left to the hands of the other nobles he would have been hanged or worst, left to rot away in a dungeon. You let him regain his dignity and for that I thank you."
"Anora…"
"No, Warden. I...respect you, and all you have done for Fereldan and you do deserve happiness. Do not think for a moment you do not." She straightened up her posture and turned towards the doors. "I renew my offer. Alistair should be in his study." Were her partings words, leaving Euna to her thoughts. Anora's eagerness to help her was shocking but understood. Alistair was a walking book, subtlety and hiding his emotions were unknown to him and apparently, she was the same. Hope bubbled within her and she ran to the castle.