I am back. Like I said before, I can write like a manic for a while and then I can lurk in the shadows for a long time. Anyway this could be a season finale. One way or another in my world one of them is going all out. Once again I apologize for any language mistakes I have made. English is not my first language.

Together apart

Ziva took a deep breath but if she was ever going do something out of her comfort zone it was going to be this. She needed to do this, there was no other way but going all out, to be completely open en honest with him.

She knocked on his door, waiting for him to answer. She had second thoughts, she had never done this. What the hell was she doing, he could destroy her.

She was so in thought, she didn't even hear or see the door open and Tony standing there.

'zee…..Ziva'

She snapped out of it.

'He….I was wondering if I could talk to you'

Tony looked like he was going to say no. Ziva prayed silently, please let me, oh god please let me in.

Tony stepped away from his door so she could enter.

She nervously played with her hands.

'I need to talk to you about what happened with Adam'

Tony backed away. 'Why, there is nothing….'

Before he could finish she held her hand up, effectively silencing him.

'I didn't and still don't know what you want from me, so I am going to be as honest with you as I have never been with anyone. I want us to be more then partners, but every time I try to get close to you do or say something which makes me hesitant. Don't get me wrong, I was completely wrong to sleep with Adam and for that I apologize but we weren't an item and still aren't but you know what Tony, I would like to change that…'

Ziva took a deep breath. This was it, no turning back. She was all the way, all or nothing.

I love you. I love you the way I have never loved any man and it scares me to death. It scares me that you have this hold on me '

Ziva looked up and stared Tony right in the eye.

'I understand if, after all I have done, you don't want me around and if you say no I will, if we still have a job after this fiasco and Gibbs is back where he belongs….. I will ask for a transfer. I will understand if you don't want to work with someone who did what I did. All I can say is that Adam was nothing, he was available and….' Ziva stopped, there was nothing she could say to make this right. Technically she hadn't done anything wrong but she knew she had hurt Tony and that was all that mattered.

'never mind, whatever I say it will come out wrong. "

Tony hadn't said anything anymore since she had cut him off. Ziva stood up, it was clear, he was done with her. He had enough. They had played this game to long and he was done with it. She had been to late.

'I think, your silence says it all. Alright after everything is done and we still have a job at NCIS I will ask for a transfer out of Washington DC, that way you don't have to see me anymore but remember one thing Tony. I trust you and I love you'

She walked to his front door, hoping desperately he would stop her but nothing came, no voice to tell her to stop, no trying to stop her from walking away. She could feel her heart breaking.

Phoof…..

The End

And that is what I think is going to be part of the season finale or something similar. That way they can end like that if Cote de Pablo doesn't sign. They can tell she transferred or if she does sigh (please do so) they can pick up where they left off the cat and mouse game (which is beginning to annoy and bore me)