A little shenny one-shot in answer to 'The Love Spell Potential'. I do not own The Big Bang Theory.
The very next day after Dungeons and Dragons night, Penny opened the door and peered into apartment 4a.
"Hi Sheldon, is Leonard here?"
"No," he said, "He's out with Koothrappali and Wolowitz."
Sheldon was sitting in his spot as usual, with a laptop on his knees and a furrow on his brow.
"Whatcha doing?"
"Searching for solutions."
"Oh… sciencey stuff."
"Hardly!"
"What then?"
"Social Psychology and Human Behavior."
"Wow, that's not like you," she said.
He let out a deep sigh, "No, unfortunately it is not."
"Oh… is this about Amy?"
"It is," he said.
"Sooooo, what happened last night?"
"We completed the game."
"YOU HAD SEX!" she shouted, her eyes widening.
Sheldon gave her a stern look, "Our characters had sex."
"Oooooooh!" Penny said, gleefully, she bounded over to the couch and sat down. "Go on then, tell me."
"That's between Amy and I."
"Huh! you're no fun," she huffed.
He gave her an inquiring look, "Are you having one of your episodes?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"One day, you love having me in your life. The next, you need an intoxicating potion to even like me."
"Oh that!" she said, "I was just grumpy that we didn't go to Vegas."
"Exactly, one of your episodes," he snapped.
Penny narrowed her eyes. "Anyway Sheldon, does all this searching, mean you are finally going to try and get physical with Amy?"
"I will not rule it out. It is something she requires. Amy has become the most steadfast person in my world. She is proving to be a wonderful girlfriend. I must find the answer."
Penny smiled, "Well you won't find it that way."
"Why not?"
"You can't think you way out this one, sweetie."
Sheldon looked irritated, "Perhaps you can't, but thinking is what I do!"
"See, that's your problem. What Amy wants doesn't come from thoughts. It comes from feelings and impulses."
"My feelings and impulses, maintain a comfortable distance from me."
"Well, that's what you have to work on then."
"How do I do that?"
"Umm… well, when I prepare for an acting role, I try to imagine myself in scenarios and use feelings I already have, to bring the character to life."
"I don't see how that helps me."
"Last night you took the first step, you imagined yourself as a character in Dungeons and Dragon, having sex with Amy's character. You only need to expand on this. Try imaging yourself, doing all those things with Amy. Not as a character."
"It sounds like hokum to me. But I suppose you do have a preeminent grasp of baser urges."
Penny gave him a glare, "Anyway! She said, "What things do you enjoy… physically?"
"I'm not sure what you mean."
"Nice things, that are physical."
"Okay," he said, musing to himself, "I like the smell of new comic books."
"Good, what else?"
"I like warm cocoa."
"And?"
"72 degrees Fahrenheit."
"Huh?"
"Perfect room temperature," he said, with a happy smile.
"Anything else?"
"Well…" he said, "I did enjoy it when Amy directed me to massage my myofascial point."
Penny paused and looked at him, with a slight grimace, "Is that something dirty?"
"No, it was my shoulders!"
"Oh okay, well… get comfortable and close you eyes."
Sheldon paused for a second, then conceeded. He placed his laptop on the armchair and then squeezed his eyes shut.
"Now relax," she said, "Think about the safest place you know."
"Sheldonopolis."
"What?"
"My own Sim City."
"Sure, whatever," she said, "You're in Sheldonopolis."
A smile began to form across his lips, "I do like in Sheldonopolis."
"Amy is there."
"Oh, Amy has never been here before. I'm sure she'll love it."
"I'm sure she will," said Penny chuckling, "Now, think of all the things you love. The new comic book smell, warm cocoa, room temperature, your shoulder thing."
Sheldon sighed, "Okay," he said.
"Good, then all you need to do is imagine you and Amy, as yourselves, beginning to do some of the things you did last night. And keep thinking about your happy things," she said, standing up. "I'm going to leave you to it. The rest is… up to you."
Penny made her way out of the apartment. Sheldon opened one eye, to check that she had gone. Closing them once more, he began to chant.
"New comic book smell, warm cocoa, 72 degrees, hands on my shoulders."
This is working, I am uncharacteristically serene, he thought. Sinking down in to the couch.
"New comic book smell, warm cocoa, 72 degrees, hands on my shoulders."
He imagined himself at Sheldon Towers, in his perfect computer generated universe. It was mid-afternoon, and sunshine was streaming in through the pixilated windows, on to his perfectly pixilated form. He saw the depiction of a lovely warm cup of cocoa, with a tiny wisp of steam. He could hear Amy talking about the latest cognitive Neuroscience results at Ghent University. "When choosing to suppress an emotion, key brain systems are activated…," she said.
"New comic book smell, warm cocoa, 72 degrees, hands on my shoulders."
"…the brain structure and function of healthy participants were studied from scans…" her voice began to slowly fade.
"New comic book smell, warm cocoa, 72 degrees, hands on my shoulders."
He felt hands placed gently on to his impossibly tense shoulders. The hands began to press down on the knots, which he had endured for many years. It did feel wonderful… in his imagination. If this were real, I wouldn't be adverse to it, he thought.
"New comic book smell, warm cocoa, 72 degrees, hands on my shoulders," he continued.
Suddenly, a golden spray of matter, blazed across his field of vision. A three-dimensional space had recklessly invaded his 2-D world. Positrons and electrons, zipped and danced, like a swarm of bees in front of him. Faster than light particles, converged and parted, over and over, threatening to take form. And then…
She was there. Golden and transcendent, as the goddess Aphrodite herself. "Hello sweetie." He drew in a sharp breath.
Sheldon's eyes shot open with a start. He began to blink wildly, until all he could see were blue spots.
"Well…" he said with a huff, "That didn't work!"