Note 1. These are not my characters, but I'm using them for my own evil
games. Really they belong to JK and I much appreciate her writing them so I
can use them! And I really do love Sevvie, but he's so easy to make fun of!
Secondly, this is dedicated to the Snape and Marauder's Fan Clubs from the Cinescape Message Board. I love you guys!
~Rapunzel – the alternative version ~
The moon was full. Remus was in his office doing his best impression of a tame wolf, whilst Sirius was trying on mauve dresses in front of the mirror in his room, aided by comments by the mirror as to which one suited him best. Severus was stalking the corridors of Hogwarts, looking to take points off any students that might be out of bed. It was his favourite pastime. He was annoyed that Remus had got the job of DATDA again, and worse that his lover, Sirius Black, and come to live in the castle as well. The worse thing was that he couldn't even be really mean to Potter, now that Sirius was there to keep an eye on him.
Snape strode along the corridors, his black robes billowing out behind him doing their best to do bat imitations. He suddenly heard a "Pssssst." Turning round, he saw Malfoy standing in the doorway to one of the classrooms.
"Well, Draco, what is it?" He asked, slightly amused at the sight of the pink pyjamas with blue hippopotami on them, not to mention the red fluffy slippers.
"Sir, I thought you ought to know. I found out that Potter and his gang are going to the top of one of the towers tonight. Something to do with Hinkypinks I think." He whispered, blushing slightly as Snape's appraisal of his nightwear.
"Very well, Malfoy. You'd better get back to bed before anyone catches you." He smirked. Turning away to stalk the corridors once more and leaving Malfoy to his own devices. "You're mine now Potter" he muttered under his breath. "I'll get you expelled this time. This time." He started laughing under his breath, but broke off as he heard voices. He snuck up to the staircase, and slowly started creeping up the stairs. He neared the door at the top, but the voices still stayed at the same volume. Confused, he walked into the room, but found it empty. Someone said "Accio" and his wand flew from his hand and out of the door.
Suddenly the door slammed shut behind him and the lock clicked audibly. Muttered words could be heard as the lock was also charmed. He ran at it, trying to bash it down, but soon realised that he wasn't going to get through it.
"Dammed English Oak." He snarled. "How do they ever expect someone to break through it to make a dramatic rescue?" He muttered to himself, then remembered a scene from "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves", a muggle movie he had seen some time ago, in which the black guy was trying to break down the door to save the handsome sheriff from the evil Maid Marian, or something like that. It had been a while since he had seen the film.
Giving up, he turned to the window. It was a long drop down to the ground, and as he didn't have his wand, it seemed he was stuck in the tower. Just then, he spotted one of his worst enemies taking a midnight walk. On reflection, he did have to say that mauve really did suit Sirius, even if the dress style was a bit outdated.
"Sirius." He called in a low voice. Sirius looked up startled, then smirked as he saw Severus.
"What do you want?" he called back, wondering what on earth Severus would be wanting his attention for.
"I'm stuck up her. Some students have locked me in and I can't break the door down. Can you help?" Sirius thought hard, then laughed under his breath before replying.
"Severus, Severus, throw down your long black hair" cried Sirius.
"I can't you moron. Its not that long." Snarled Severus from the top of the tower.
"Well, that's a bit silly isn't it." Laughed Sirius, a wicked idea forming in his mind. Pulling out his borrowed wand, he muttered a few words and then Snape's hair started to grow. Longer and longer it grew, grease and all, until it was halfway down the building.
"And how is this meant to help?" Severus snarled at Sirius.
"Well, you let it grow, cut it off, tie it to something in the room and then climb down it." Choked Sirius from laughing so hard. Severus looked round the room and found a pair of scissors. A few minutes later his hair was down to the ground and a bit further, so he cut it off, and with difficulty tied it round an old bed that was in the room. His hair had thankfully stopped growing once he had cut it, so it now looked like its normal bedraggled cut.
He manouvered himself out of the window and started to climb down the hair. Unfortunately, because he had very greasy hair, his hands slipped and he fell down to the ground with a big thud. Sirius ran over and stood over him, checking to see if he was ok. Severus gradually opened his eyes then quickly shut them again.
"As much as I might appreciate your help, Black, I don't particularly want to get to know you that well." Sirius wondered what he meant, until he realised that Snape could see up his dress, and his lack of underwear might be misconstrued. After all, you can't have panty lines with a skin tight dress. A loud howl was heard from somewhere in the castle. Sirius jumped.
"Damm, I forgot to take Remi his lump of raw meat. See you Snape." He said then ran off into the night, hips swaying seductively as if to taunt Severus. Snape just lay there on the ground cursing fairy tales and muttering away to himself.
"I'll get you, and your little wolf too."
Secondly, this is dedicated to the Snape and Marauder's Fan Clubs from the Cinescape Message Board. I love you guys!
~Rapunzel – the alternative version ~
The moon was full. Remus was in his office doing his best impression of a tame wolf, whilst Sirius was trying on mauve dresses in front of the mirror in his room, aided by comments by the mirror as to which one suited him best. Severus was stalking the corridors of Hogwarts, looking to take points off any students that might be out of bed. It was his favourite pastime. He was annoyed that Remus had got the job of DATDA again, and worse that his lover, Sirius Black, and come to live in the castle as well. The worse thing was that he couldn't even be really mean to Potter, now that Sirius was there to keep an eye on him.
Snape strode along the corridors, his black robes billowing out behind him doing their best to do bat imitations. He suddenly heard a "Pssssst." Turning round, he saw Malfoy standing in the doorway to one of the classrooms.
"Well, Draco, what is it?" He asked, slightly amused at the sight of the pink pyjamas with blue hippopotami on them, not to mention the red fluffy slippers.
"Sir, I thought you ought to know. I found out that Potter and his gang are going to the top of one of the towers tonight. Something to do with Hinkypinks I think." He whispered, blushing slightly as Snape's appraisal of his nightwear.
"Very well, Malfoy. You'd better get back to bed before anyone catches you." He smirked. Turning away to stalk the corridors once more and leaving Malfoy to his own devices. "You're mine now Potter" he muttered under his breath. "I'll get you expelled this time. This time." He started laughing under his breath, but broke off as he heard voices. He snuck up to the staircase, and slowly started creeping up the stairs. He neared the door at the top, but the voices still stayed at the same volume. Confused, he walked into the room, but found it empty. Someone said "Accio" and his wand flew from his hand and out of the door.
Suddenly the door slammed shut behind him and the lock clicked audibly. Muttered words could be heard as the lock was also charmed. He ran at it, trying to bash it down, but soon realised that he wasn't going to get through it.
"Dammed English Oak." He snarled. "How do they ever expect someone to break through it to make a dramatic rescue?" He muttered to himself, then remembered a scene from "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves", a muggle movie he had seen some time ago, in which the black guy was trying to break down the door to save the handsome sheriff from the evil Maid Marian, or something like that. It had been a while since he had seen the film.
Giving up, he turned to the window. It was a long drop down to the ground, and as he didn't have his wand, it seemed he was stuck in the tower. Just then, he spotted one of his worst enemies taking a midnight walk. On reflection, he did have to say that mauve really did suit Sirius, even if the dress style was a bit outdated.
"Sirius." He called in a low voice. Sirius looked up startled, then smirked as he saw Severus.
"What do you want?" he called back, wondering what on earth Severus would be wanting his attention for.
"I'm stuck up her. Some students have locked me in and I can't break the door down. Can you help?" Sirius thought hard, then laughed under his breath before replying.
"Severus, Severus, throw down your long black hair" cried Sirius.
"I can't you moron. Its not that long." Snarled Severus from the top of the tower.
"Well, that's a bit silly isn't it." Laughed Sirius, a wicked idea forming in his mind. Pulling out his borrowed wand, he muttered a few words and then Snape's hair started to grow. Longer and longer it grew, grease and all, until it was halfway down the building.
"And how is this meant to help?" Severus snarled at Sirius.
"Well, you let it grow, cut it off, tie it to something in the room and then climb down it." Choked Sirius from laughing so hard. Severus looked round the room and found a pair of scissors. A few minutes later his hair was down to the ground and a bit further, so he cut it off, and with difficulty tied it round an old bed that was in the room. His hair had thankfully stopped growing once he had cut it, so it now looked like its normal bedraggled cut.
He manouvered himself out of the window and started to climb down the hair. Unfortunately, because he had very greasy hair, his hands slipped and he fell down to the ground with a big thud. Sirius ran over and stood over him, checking to see if he was ok. Severus gradually opened his eyes then quickly shut them again.
"As much as I might appreciate your help, Black, I don't particularly want to get to know you that well." Sirius wondered what he meant, until he realised that Snape could see up his dress, and his lack of underwear might be misconstrued. After all, you can't have panty lines with a skin tight dress. A loud howl was heard from somewhere in the castle. Sirius jumped.
"Damm, I forgot to take Remi his lump of raw meat. See you Snape." He said then ran off into the night, hips swaying seductively as if to taunt Severus. Snape just lay there on the ground cursing fairy tales and muttering away to himself.
"I'll get you, and your little wolf too."