DISCLAIMER: I own neither Akatsuki nor Itachi.
PAIRING: Itachixplushie. Implied Itasasu and more.
WARNING: Yaoi (because the teddy bear is a male), crack!fic.
Dedicated to Calamus, who did a wonderful job beta-ing this. Thanks for helping me!
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Itachi's teddy bear
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Itachi has a teddy bear.
It has no name. Being known as Itachi's teddy bear is enough. This name commands respect among the other plushies.
Itachi sleeps with his teddy bear.
Always.
Sometimes they do things. Things that aren't related to sleep at all.
It is his teddy bear; he can use it however he likes.
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The teddy bear has not always been Itachi's.
At first it belonged to Sasuke. Then, Itachi slaughtered his clan in order to steal the teddy bear from his brother.
In fact, Sasuke is not chasing Itachi to avenge his family; he just wants to retrieve his teddy bear.
That's the reason they both started sleeping together. Itachi and the teddy bear, that is. Sasuke, after Itachi finished showing him his brotherly love, was always sent to sleep in his own bed.
Itachi used to sleep with his teddy bear because he wanted to protect it from his brother's filthy hands.
That was the reason.
It was.
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Until, one night, Itachi had a wet dream about his teddy bear.
It is a sexy teddy bear, after all.
At the most interesting part he woke up to a bloodcurdling scream.
Nights in Akatsuki's lair are always very interesting.
Then, Itachi sat down on the bed and Looked at the teddy bear, which was placidly lying on the sheets, by his side.
The teddy bear returned his look with its plastic eyes.
Itachi was sure about it; the teddy bear was Looking at him. It was Looking at him in a sexy way
So there they were: in the middle of the night, together, on the bed, Itachi still feeling the after-effects of the dream on his body, the teddy bear emitting its sexy vibes.
Oh, what the hell. He was certain the teddy bear would not say a word, anyway.
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The teddy bear never complains.
In fact, it seems to enjoy Itachi's attentions.
But just Itachi's.
The other Akatsuki members are smitten with the teddy bear, too.
It is really sexy, after all.
Deidara created a sculpture of the teddy bear and placed it in his room, next to the bed.
Sasori made a bear-shaped puppet. However, he couldn't manage to recreate the teddy bear's sexiness.
He tried again and again and again, but he always failed.
In the end, Sasori died from depression.
Any evidence in contradiction with that fact is unquestionably wrong.
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Sometimes, the other Akatsuki members kidnap the teddy bear in order to molest him.
But the teddy bear only wants to be molested by Itachi.
Luckily, Itachi always rescues it before the others can make their kinky fantasies come true.
The fantasies related to the teddy bear, of course. The ones concerning Itachi can be satisfied at any moment by Itachi himself.
It is a blessing, being an Akatsuki member.
And it is a blessing for Itachi that the teddy bear is not prone to jealousy.
But why should it be? It knows Itachi only loves it, and no one else.
After all, it is his teddy bear.
Its name is, and always shall be, "Itachi's teddy bear"
And because of that, Itachi's teddy bear is a very happy plushie.
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Fin
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feedback?