Title: Bright Shining as the Sun
Author: Wildcat
Series: TOS
Rating: K+
Codes: S/U
Summary: Ten months after Kirk's death, Spock and Uhura must deal with another loss, while at the same time she learns that there's more to fitting in on Vulcan than she'd realized.
Great thanks go to my wonderful beta readers, Jungle Kitty and Kathy.
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Spock, Uhura, and company. I have just borrowed them for a while, and I will not profit from any of this.
This story is part of my Spock/Uhura universe. It takes place between Listening for the Waves and Sparrows.
This story won 3rd place for "Best General Pairing" in the 2000 ASC Awards.
Feedback is desired.
Bright Shining as the Sun, chapter 1
"To Scotty."
Raising his glass, Spock echoed Dr. McCoy's sentiment in a quiet murmur along with the rest of the group. He paused to eye the amber liquid Mr. Scott had always so enjoyed as it swirled and rippled in his glass, but finally he brought it to his lips and sipped. It was sharp and biting, irritating his sinuses and burning a fiery path down his esophagus, and he forced himself not to react in any way. Of course, several of the people around him had unashamedly wiped their eyes during Dr. McCoy's toast, but he knew that it had little to do with the whisky.
"I can't believe he's gone," said McCoy. "I talked to him just last week. He was nervous about the idea of starting all over in a new place, but he was excited, too. He had such big plans."
McCoy's voice grew rough and dwindled away, so Spock picked up the thread of the discussion.
"I confess that I was surprised to hear of his decision to move to the Norpin Five Colony. Of course, I can understand the wish to mark the end of one phase of life with a new beginning, so to speak"—he exchanged glances with Nyota—"but I had assumed that he would make his home in Scotland."
"He used to talk about his little house on the coast all the time." Nyota smiled fondly, then lapsed into a passable imitation of Mr. Scott's voice. "'Lass, the sweetest place on God's green earth is my own patch of heaven right outside Aberdeen. Aye, ye canna hope for better than that.' I guess that living there wasn't quite as fulfilling as dreaming of living there."
Christine Chapel gripped Nyota's arm. "You were always close to him, Nyota. It must have been hard for you when you heard about the crash of the Jenolen."
"Of course it was, Chris, but we're not here to be sad. Scotty would have been the first to tell us that you shouldn't be sad at a wake. So let's have fun! Let's tell stories and laugh and remember Scotty in the way he'd want to be remembered."
Sulu smiled. "You're right, Nyota, and I know the perfect story to get us started. Do you all remember when Captain Kirk told him to distract one of the Kelvans? I've never seen two sorrier drunks..."
Spock watched Nyota approvingly as Sulu launched into a tale about Mr. Scott. She had indeed been distressed when she heard the tragic news of his death, but today she had held her composure flawlessly. Of course, Spock knew that she was still in pain; she and Mr. Scott had been friends too long for her to feel otherwise. He could not deny that he also grieved, not only for their own loss, but because Mr. Scott had been deprived of what should have been his reward after many years of faithful service. Just as he did not allow a display of his private thoughts, however, Nyota also exhibited no outward sign of her grief. Admirable.
He returned his attention to the conversation when she spoke.
"Pavel, remember the tribbles? You talked me into taking one, and the next thing we knew, they were everywhere! Scotty was so angry at me for bringing them on board, but he could never..."
She hesitated, and Spock thought that she might break down. Instead, she inhaled deeply before continuing in the same even voice.
"He could never stay mad at me for long. I'll miss him."
She smiled sadly at Spock, and he nodded encouragement. She was not alone in her sentiment. They would all miss Mr. Scott.
...
Seated in the back of Dr. McCoy's flitter, Uhura looked down at Atlanta as they made their way from San Francisco to the doctor's home in Macon. The city was still bright even though all but the most nocturnal beings had long since deserted the streets, and she watched in interest as a steady procession of ships buzzed back and forth from the Hartsfield Spaceport like a swarm of colorfully lit bees.
She had only been to Georgia a handful of times, but she had always liked it here. Despite the high level of activity at the spaceport below, she'd always found the relaxed pace of life to be one that encouraged you to enjoy each moment to the fullest. Too bad she and Spock had to start that long return trip to Vulcan on the day after tomorrow, because she would have loved to stay long enough to see some of the sights. At least they'd have a day to visit Dr. McCoy.
She let the conversation swirl around her as she gazed sleepily out the window.
"Spock, how are your parents doing?" McCoy spoke softly, as if to leave their serenity uninterrupted. "It's been forever since I saw them. Your mother's getting up in years now, isn't she?"
"Yes. She is 94."
"How's her health holding out?"
Spock paused, and Uhura's gaze drifted from the window as she listened for his response. She had actually been with Amanda when she learned about Scotty, for Amanda insisted that she could still run errands around town even though she was much too frail to do it alone. So, someone always went with her. They pretended that it was just for the company, but they all—including Amanda—knew the real reason. It seemed like much more than just five days ago that she had helped Amanda through her front door to find Spock waiting with the bad news.
Spock said, "While her mind remains sharp, her body is growing weaker. She finds it hard to accept the fact that she must curtail her activities."
"Well, that's normal for someone her age. She should have a number of good years left if she takes care of herself. What does her doctor say?"
"Precisely what you have just said, although her family history is not encouraging. Her father died at the age of 88, and her mother died eight years later."
"I remember when your grandmother died. She broke her hip and then had a stroke, didn't she?"
"That is correct. My grandfather also died of a stroke, although he was already severely weakened by circulatory difficulties."
"I assume she's been tested for any hereditary conditions by a geneticist."
"Yes. She did not inherit any of his problems."
"Good. Now, you tell her that I was asking about her, and that I said she should stay active without pushing herself too much." McCoy paused for Spock's affirmation before continuing. "And Sarek?"
"He is well. He has also curtailed his schedule, but it is because he does not wish to leave Mother alone. His health is very good."
"Glad to hear it. And how about Saavik? Have you seen her recently?"
"Yes. She helped us move into our new house. Unfortunately, we did not have a great deal of time to visit, but it was agreeable to see her."
Uhura smiled to herself. Spock would let Dr. McCoy believe that the lack of time had been due to the business of moving in, when he and she both knew that it was because of Saavik's budding new romance. Or romances. She still hadn't managed to get the whole story out of Saavik, but whether it was one romance or two, it was evidently compelling enough for Saavik to already be planning another trip back to Vulcan.
"You be sure to tell her that I was asking about her, too, all right?" McCoy adjusted the controls, and the flitter began to descend. "Well, here we are. It's not much, but it's home."
They neared a modest frame house set back on a wooded lot. The moon cast dark shadows everywhere she looked, but as the lights from the flitter swept across the neighboring yards, she took inventory of the trees: pines and magnolias, majestic old oaks, fruit trees, and even a drooping mimosa.
"This area is lovely, Doctor," she said.
"It's quiet and the house has a good-sized yard, so I thought it would be good for when the grandkids come to stay."
McCoy parked the flitter, and when Uhura stepped out, she filled her lungs with fresh outdoor air while Spock retrieved the suitcases. She knew that they were only minutes away from downtown Macon, but somehow it felt like they were in the country. Maybe it was the scent of the pine trees or the sound of the crickets, but it seemed as if they were far away from civilization. Dr. McCoy had found the perfect place to settle down after his retirement from Starfleet, just like she and Spock had found their perfect home on Vulcan. Not Scotty, though. Scotty had tried to make a new life in a new home, but he hadn't been able to resist the pull of the stars, the lure of one last adventure...
Her eyes began to sting as they walked through the front door, but she blinked away the tears just before Dr. McCoy turned on the lights.
He motioned toward a stairway. "The guest room is upstairs. You shouldn't have any trouble finding it. Would you like to put your bags down and have a cup of tea or coffee before you call it a night?"
Spock looked at Uhura. "Nyota?"
"Not for me, thanks. I'm beat."
"Thank you, Doctor, but we would prefer to retire."
"I don't blame you," said McCoy. "We've had a long day, and tomorrow will be here before you know it. Well, see you in the morning. Sleep in as late as you'd like."
Uhura smiled as she moved toward the steps. "Good night."
He waved and headed down a hallway, so she climbed the steps and started peering through doorways. She raised an eyebrow at his comment that they shouldn't have any trouble finding the guest room, because the first bedroom had a huge pile of stuffed animals on the bed and the second had a heap of sports equipment in the corner. Soon, however, she found a room that was completely barren of toys, so she walked through the door and turned on the light. Spock placed the suitcases on the bed and faced her.
"Dr. McCoy was correct. This has been a long day," he said.
She ran her fingers through her hair. "It's been several long days. I'll be glad to get home."
"As shall I."
She opened her suitcase. "First Captain Kirk, and now Scotty. It's so hard to believe that they're both gone, just like that."
"How are you doing? I know that this has been very hard on you."
"Oh, I'm mostly fine. Every now and then I forget for a moment, and when it hits me again it hurts like it's brand new."
"I never developed the close friendship with Mr. Scott that you did, but I understand what you are going through. Incidentally, you did very well at his memorial service and the gathering afterward. Your fortitude was admirable. You paid great honor to his memory."
She twisted her mouth in a crooked grin. "Maybe living on Vulcan is wearing off on me."
"I realize that you are not entirely serious, but you did react in a rather Vulcan manner. It is disrespectful to the dead to draw attention to oneself. Your quiet dignity was very appropriate."
"Actually, I'm not kidding. I do think that living on Vulcan is wearing off on me. Every day, I feel more and more like I'm fitting in. I think that it won't be long before I can act really Vulcan."
He hesitated for a long moment. "Now you are kidding."
"Why do you say that? I've been trying hard to fit in with T'Lena, Sepak, and the others in my office. I watch the way they interact, and I think I've learned to imitate them pretty well. For example, they're very subdued. They never raise their voices, and their body language is subtle." She smiled. "I think that I should be pretty experienced at Vulcan-watching by now. After all, I've been watching you for years."
"'Vulcan-watching' aside, there is much more to being Vulcan than simply aping mannerisms."
"I know that." She ticked off examples on her fingers. "I learned how to make Vulcan tea years ago. I'm getting better every day at speaking Vulcan. I share the flame with you. I've gone through pon farr with you, and I know all about the Vulcan life cycle. I live on Vulcan, I work with Vulcans, I've gone out of my way to—"
Gently taking her hands, he covered her fingers so she couldn't use them to count anymore. "I understand. I am not faulting you in any way, but you expressed a desire to behave as a Vulcan would behave, and I am merely attempting to explain to you what that truly means. Is my interpretation incorrect? Did you not express a desire to learn what you must do to be accepted on Vulcan?"
She relaxed, allowing him to cradle her hands in his own. "You're right. Sorry. Go ahead."
"There are many other factors involved. First and perhaps simplest, you have not adopted Vulcan dress. It is expected that a Vulcan woman of, ah, a certain age will cover her head."
"Your mother didn't when I met her the first time, and she was about my age."
"Sometimes my mother chose to forgo the custom when not on Vulcan. As a matter of fact, her head was covered when she and my father boarded the Enterprise for that mission. She had merely removed the cowl by the time you met her. I have no doubt that she wore full Vulcan dress for the Babel conference itself, as is appropriate for a Vulcan matron."
"A matron." She grimaced slightly. "I've never been called a matron before. I'm not sure I like it."
"Very well. We shall use the term 'mature woman' instead. At any rate, a Vulcan woman who has reached the age of full maturity is expected to cover her head, with the exception of a matriarch who may forgo the cowl by right of her status and position, and only then on certain occasions."
"I've always hated to wear anything on my head. I don't think that I could ever get used to it."
"You may have to get used to it. In addition, there are not only external factors to consider, but internal. The Vulcan way is highly internalized. You possess a great deal of inner serenity. You always have, even when you were younger and sometimes openly afraid or angry."
She shifted uncomfortably, remembering those days when she had been too immature to keep her feelings to herself.
"However, even though you possess inner peace," he continued, "you are still very open. Humans would say that you have a sparkle in your eye, a bounce in your step, fire in your soul. Terrans use many such metaphors. At any rate, whatever you wish to call it, it emanates from you, and even a person who does not know you well can easily detect what you are feeling and thinking."
"And that's a problem?"
"Not to me personally, but it might be to others. The Vulcan way entails mastery of emotions. From childhood, we are taught that we must control our emotions. Indeed, at the very purest level of mastery, the emotions are not merely controlled but are eliminated. This is considered a highly desirable state, and it is admirable to strive throughout one's life to attain such a level. That is why I went to Gol."
"But you know better than anyone that the obliteration of emotion isn't always the answer."
"Sometimes one's path takes one elsewhere. My point is that a Vulcan would never impose his or her emotions on another. It is preferable to control one's emotions, but at the very least one should not display them. My mother resisted this for many years, but in the end she learned that her life would be easier if she conformed."
"But she still acts human."
"But she refrains from overt displays. Her face is expressive, but only within certain limits. She gestures, but only in a gracefully subdued manner. She chooses her words carefully when speaking, and she considers the effect of every word and action. She walks purposefully but unhurriedly. She covers her head. She defers to her husband when in public." He paused. "Note that I do not expect you to do the latter."
She smiled. "Glad to hear it."
"However, my point is that long ago my mother took steps to modify her behavior so it would not be offensive to others. As a result, she has found that her life on Vulcan is less complicated. I am loath to admit it, but my people can be somewhat judgmental at times, particularly the older generation. The infusion of offworlders on Vulcan has caused great changes within their lifetime, and they find it difficult to accept that change."
"So much for IDIC."
He shrugged. "A philosophy of life is often more attractive in the abstract than in practice. IDIC is not a new concept, but it has come to imply something very different in our generation than it did in generations before. You will understand that it is often the older ones who resist new ideas. That is no less true on Vulcan than it would be, for example, on Earth."
"Point taken." She caught her lip between her teeth as she thought about what he had said. "You know, now that you mention it, an older woman came into my office last week who wouldn't deal with me. I assumed that she was hard of hearing, because she ignored me and went to T'Lena."
"Perhaps she suffered from selective hearing."
Uhura snorted, then turned back to her suitcase and began digging for her nightgown. "She did look at me like I was some sort of insect or something."
"I am sorry for that, but it illustrates my point. You still have a great deal to consider if you truly wish to be accepted by all Vulcans."
She pulled out her nightgown. "I'll think about what you said, Spock. Thanks for being honest. I know it was hard to tell me something that you knew I wouldn't want to hear."
He raised an eyebrow. "No more difficult than usual."
She laughed. "Okay, you can stop telling me things that I don't want to hear now. No need to go overboard."
She could see the amusement in his eyes as he gestured toward the bed.
"Perhaps we should retire. Dr. McCoy will be disappointed if we sleep until noon."
"You mean if I sleep until noon. I can take a hint."
She picked up her toiletry kit and headed for the bathroom.
End chapter 1