Izaya couldn't imagine a life limited by morals, ethics, or loyalties. Nothing in life is sacred, nothing is going too far if it can help satisfy his ache for entertainment. All those boundaries are just silly things humans create to make life comfortable, to make the universe seem like it has laws. Comfort isn't what he needs though, so he won't put boundaries on himself. He just needs to feel a rush of excitement! Something fun, fascinating, something new! Anything that is the absolute opposite of the mind numbing boredom he feels all too often.
The wind whips him back and forth, he's teetering on the edge of some indistinct apartment complex. The sky is starless, light pollution acts like a barrier, keeping this city separate from the rest of the universe. He hadn't planned on being here tonight. It's two in the morning and it's freezing. There's plenty of work waiting to be done at home. Even fatty tuna sits in the fridge since Namie does it every Friday night, upon Izaya's request. It's just another routine. He did ask for it to actually eat, but Namie carried out the request so easily it bored him. She could at least try poisoning it or something, maybe get the wrong kind of sushi. But she never did, she just does it as he asks, same every week.
So he had decided to go out for a walk to escape the monotony. It turned into a chase when the beast sniffed him out. Their game was usually so much fun, him having to escape what would surely be a bloody gruesome death if Shizu-chan caught him. He used to think that at least, that it was the riskiest position he could put himself in. But it always ended the same, and now there are no surprises, no chances, no risk. He always escapes and Shizu-chan always goes home.
Tonight was no different, he escaped with relative ease. Even after Shizu-chan was done giving chase though Izaya kept running, running like his life depended on it. Chest heaving from the lack of oxygen, hands scrapping against cement as he lunged himself from one roof top to another, legs burning from exertion.
The true monster of his world was chasing him still, and it didn't need to be quick. It was in him already, creeping up from the very depths of his soul. The numbness.
Standing up this high used to excite him. He would feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins, from toes to fingertips to his eyes taking in just how close certain death was. And then after fighting with Shizu-chan it was just a satisfying tingle. Now, it's nothing. Emptiness, a gnawing sense of frustration.
Izaya focuses a glare on a fading blood stain on the sidewalk below him. He knew all the stupid reasons his humans would jump. Cheating husband, school bullies, maybe even the result of information he provided. Was it just weak people that jumped? Or is there a breaking point in everybody? How about a god like himself?
He doesn't realize he's biting his lower lip till he feels blood trickle down his chin. He wipes it away with the back of his sleeve and shoves his hands in his coat pocket. With a childish bounce he makes his way from the edge of the roof to the stairwell down to go home. Surely standing up here staring into the void of what used to be one of his human's insides wasn't the solution to his problem. That's what he tried to tell himself as he made his way home. But the bored part of him kept wondering...
At what point would even he consider jumping?