Let Me Get This Straight

by Starsinger

Jim finds himself in a strange position, he's not the one in trouble. Incident on K7: Bar fight involving Scotty, Chekov and other Enterprise crewmembers versus Klingons. Don't own them.

James T Kirk found himself in a rather peculiar position. He sat behind his desk rubbing his eyes tiredly. Across from him sat Ensign Chekov, Lieutenants Uhura and Sulu, Lieutenant Commander Scott and McCoy, Commander Spock, and Admirals Pike, Barnett and Archer. They had stopped for a layover at Starbase 12, a recently established Starbase near Cardassian space. They were here for some shore leave, and to pick up the Admirals and take them back to Earth. That was the theory anyway.

Located so close to the intersection of space intersected by several species, it was frequented by Cardassians, Bajorans, Klingons, Ferengi, and Humans. Jim was still convinced Ferengi were myths, he'd never actually seen one. By and large everyone behaved themselves. The Admirals were on their way back from a conference on Bajor, and everyone had looked forward to a couple of days of R&R. Kirk had gone on board to make sure the Admirals were on their way when accosted by the stationmaster about the Cardassians.

Kirk, honestly, thought the man would have been more concerned about Captain Koloth after the incident on Deep Space Station K7, but the Klingons had behaved themselves admirably, no pun intended, to this point. So, Kirk settled down to a weary, but hopefully peaceful shore leave. First sign of trouble was one of the security guards from the station calling for back-up. Kirk had decided, once again, to station one Federation security guard for every Klingon and Cardassian on the station.

The next sign was Cupcake calling Kirk and asking if he had the authority to arrest Admirals. Confused, Kirk asked which Admiral. He was not prepared to hear Cupcake reply all the Admirals.

"Lieutenant, what happened?" Kirk asked.

"There's been another fight, Captain," Kirk groaned. He was suddenly very glad he'd stayed on the ship. He could handle planets, but space stations for some reason gave him the creeps.

"I don't care who they are, if they're ours, I want them in my office as soon as you can get them here," Kirk responded. That was how he found this bunch in his office. He never, EVER, expected to be on this side of a debrief from Admirals anyway, much less Christopher Pike. "Okay, let me get this straight," Kirk started. "All this started over an insult? Not the Enterprise again, Scotty?"

"No, Captain, I dinnae throw the first punch this time," he was so sincere that Kirk was forced to believe him.

"Spock," he looked at his first officer, who was sporting the Vulcan equivalent of not one, but two black eyes, "what happened?" Spock actually looked embarrassed and looked at his feet. McCoy wasn't much better as he stared at the floor. "I don't believe I'm about to say this, but John, Chris and Richard, you actually joined IN the fight?"

They couldn't deny the evidence of he split lips, more black eyes, and cuts and scrapes. Plus, Chris was hobbling worse than usual. "Yes, Jim," Chris mumbled.

"Who threw the first punch?" Kirk asked. Nobody said anything. "Okay, I know it wasn't Scotty, Chekov, was it you?"

"No, sir," Chekov muttered.

Kirk stared at all of them, not quite believing what he saw. These were respected members of his crew and Starfleet and they had just been fighting a species with armor in their skulls. "Okay," he pinned Uhura with a stare. She had the grace to look abashed. Her hair was in disarray and she had been in the thick of the brawl. "You're all restricted to quarters, and duty stations, for the rest of Shoreleave. That goes for you too, Admirals," he said pinning them all with his laser like stare. "If you're going to get in a fight while on my ship, you're going to suffer the consequences, understood?"

Every single one of them muttered, "Yes sir."

"Dismissed," he finally said with disgust. "My own first officer and the ADMIRALS!" Jim turned toward Yeoman Rand, "Can you believe that?" Janice shook her head as she set down a cup of coffee on Kirk's desk. Jim looked up to find Archer sticking his head back in.

"Yes, John?" Kirk asked warily.

"Uh, Jim, I was the one who threw the first punch," he mumbled his confession.

"What did they do this time, compare Porthos to a Targ?" Jim asked. Archer didn't quite meet Kirk's eyes. "I've seen a Targ, John, they're ugly. Porthos is at least cute."

"Well, Koloth started comparing the virtues of his pet Targ with Porthos," Kirk had a bad feeling where this was going. "I told him that I didn't appreciate my dog being compared to a big ugly brute."

"I can understand that," Kirk said, seriously wondering if he should raid Bones' liquor cabinet.

"He told me I shouldn't insult my dog like that," John said.

Kirk squinted at Archer, "So that's when you punched him?"

"No, I did that when he started telling me what kind of puppies his Targ would foist on my dog!" Kirk's head went into his hands. It obviously never occurred to Koloth that Porthos had the wrong anatomy for that.

"So, you, a 146 year old Starfleet Admiral took it upon yourself to settle the score," Jim said scrubbing his face with his hands.

"Yes, wouldn't you?" Archer was very earnest.

"John, go back to your quarters and just be glad I'm restricting you there for the rest of the trip. I do have that authority as Ship's Captain, you know." Archer hastily made an exit. "Rand, you did record that, right. Just in case we need that for future blackmail?" Janice nodded her head. "Good, I'm going to bed. I have Alpha shift in the morning."

Rand laughed, "Can you imagine Koloth's face when Archer punched him in the nose?" Slowly, inevitably, Jim started laughing. He laughed so hard he had to sit down. The sudden image of the elderly Admiral punching a Klingon was too much for him.

"Thanks, Rand, I needed that. Good night."