Author's Note: Oooooh, my goodness. I was going through my computer files when I came across this gem that I wrote two years ago (hence the JBiebs reference; sorry about that). It was kind of a joke when I wrote it, but let me know what you think—and if I can get at least one of you to smile because of this, I guess it's a good day. :)
The Camp Commandments
As written by Luke, Annabeth, Percy, Silena, Beckendorf, Clarisse, and Grover
1. Thou shalt not pull pranks on any campers that have recently broken up with a girlfriend/boyfriend, for things will end badly. (Learned from experience.)
2. Thou shalt not steal a cabin-mate's toothpaste. Ever. Not even in the Hermes cabin. Even the god of thieves has respect for toothpaste.
3. Thou shalt never, ever, ever draw all over battle plans from the Athena cabin with Sharpie as a joke. Just don't.
4. Thou shalt always haze annoying new campers who don't know their place among older cabin members. Greater annoyance from new camper (unanimously agreed upon) = worse hazing.
5. However, contrary to commandment 4, thou shalt not trick a younger camper (or any camper, for that matter) into messing with daughters of Athena, Ares, or Demeter (or any gods/goddesses, for that matter) while they are hormonal. The results of such actions are too much for even Beckendorf to handle.
6. Thou shalt not steal Luke's man spray.
7. Thou shalt avoid the showers/bathrooms at all costs when Percy is showering because he's mad. (This one is more common sense than a commandment, but a commandment nonetheless).
8. Thou shalt not steal makeup from the Aphrodite campers. (This was only added, mind you, because Silena, as nice as she is, threatened to put magical guy-liner that lasts for a week on all the guys present if they didn't include this. Commandment 8, preserving our manhood.)
9. Thou shalt not eat more marshmallows than your share at campfires. (This also applies to chocolate. But not graham crackers. Nobody eats those anyway.)
10. Thou shalt not tie ribbons on a satyr's horns while he is sleeping.
11. Thou shalt not, under any circumstances, allow Percy to sing louder than whisper-level at campfire sing-a-longs. He sucks at singing.
12. Thou shalt not steal another cabin's shower slots unless previously agreed upon. Failure to comply will result in…well, bad things.
13. Thou shalt not steal weapons from the Ares cabin. Or their CDs.
14. Thou shalt not decorate the forges or Hephaestus cabin with pink streamers. Ever.
15. Thou shalt keep the Justin Bieber references (even jokes) to a minimum. (Minimum = zero)
16. Thou shalt refrain from giving socks to Dionysus for Christmas. (Long story.)
17. Thou shalt not steal underwear or bras and wave them around outside. –Seems immature, but yes, it is a problem.
18. Thou shalt always give Annabeth things that relate to princesses, just to miff her off.
19. Thou shalt always wear Nikes. Never Reeboks. Those shoes are just weird.
20. Thou shalt never ever never ever never never never ever make horse jokes around Chiron. Unless you want a horse-shoe shaped bruise for a month.