Hey people this is my first fanfic so I would appreciate a little advice. Review when you can. Most people would not like bad comments but I think everyone should get a fair opinion. I'll try to include all the idea you give me, but im only one person do thanks. Enjoy!
I
Percy
Percy felt like a worn down toy that the gods always use, but never treat with respect. He was really getting sick of playing the role as a pawn. Suddenly a sharp pain on his head brought him to the present. He then realized that the sharp pain was actually a piece of debris that fell into to Tartarus with them. Annabeth he thought. They were still holding hands which was a good thing, but the concerning part was that because of his weight, he was under her. But that wasn't the bad part. He knew that by going under Annabeth would save her, but he was also scared he might not live. Then Percy felt the urge to look at Annabeth. Gods she was beautiful. Even with all the dirt and grime in her hair she was beautiful. As he was thinking about all this he noticed the fall was getting slower. Annabeth must have noticed too because stopped screaming and looked down. He couldn't help it, so he looked down too. That was his mistake. What he saw was not appealing. He saw the ground. And it was way closer than you'd think. It's now or never, he thought. He grabbed Annabeth and pulled her in close. He tucked up her legs and made sure her broken ankle didn't come out from on top of him. He finally finished adjusting her and not a moment to soon because the next thing he knew he couldn't breathe. Then all he heard was "Percy" and he blacked out.
Me-Yeah I know its short but I will definitely write lots of chapters. Sooo-
Percy- Just say it all ready
Me- Say what? your cute? no need to say that... i can see it
Annabeth- *glares at me*
Me- *laughs nevously* okay okay all rights go to Rick Riordan. Oh and review or i'll capture rick.
Rick- Finally im free!
Percy- what?
Rick- she captured me!
Me- *percy kills me and they live happily ever after... not me*