Tsugaru woke up to something wet falling on his chest. It was Psyche's tears as he laid on top of him, sleeping.

Tsugaru gently wrapped his arms around him and pulled up the covers. He carefully took off the headphones still strapped on the little brunette's ears and whispered to him, "It's alright. I'm here with you."

Psyche drifted in and out of his dreams.

"Tsu… Tsugaru, don't… I…" Psyche moaned as Tsugaru sucked on his collarbone and left him a pinkish hickey that matched his magenta eyes. But he didn't stop there. His hands undressed the young man below him as he continued to pour his feelings with each touch.

"Don't…" Psyche teared up again, and Tsugaru licked away his tears.

"Don't cry. I don't like seeing you cry."

"But…" Psyche looked at Tsugaru shyly and looked away quickly when he met his intense gaze.

"You were crying this morning too." Tsugaru told him quietly, still staring down at his flushed lover. Psyche swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat.

"I… well… I…."

"Were you having that nightmare again?"

Psyche nodded slowly as he squinted his eyes shut.

"Don't worry, it's just a dream." Tsugaru leaned down and gave him another kiss on his nape gently.

"But, I was plotting to hurt you! I… I even trafficked guns in my dreams, Tsu-chan. Guns? I knew how to take off the safety, and I didn't even knew I knew until I watched myself in the dream… and, and then I even convinced these girls to jump off the roof… and then I even… to you, I even…!"

"Shh… it's okay. It's just a dream. Nothing but a dream." Tsugaru whispered as he held onto his trembling Psyche and slowly lowered him back onto the bed. Psyche clung to him and started to cry on his shoulders, his chest heaving.

"It's just a dream, Psyche. No one's hurt. Don't worry."

Izaya groaned as he tried to massage away his pounding migraine.

"Namie-san, could you recommend any medications for migraines?"

"It's called pain killers. Use them." Namie rolled her eyes as she went back to her work.

"How cruel Namie-san~ I'd have expected a much more sophisticated diagnosis."

"If not pain killers, there's something called 'healthier living.' I don't think you've ever heard of it." Namie scoffed as she ignored her boss's whining.

Izaya sighed as he went back to his computer screen and massaged his temple. Dammit-Izaya thought to himself. It was that ridiculous dream that constantly plagued him. Each time he did something for fun, be it gathering interesting blackmail worthy information, getting a rise out of Shizu-chan or convincing a few people that they're useless in the grand scheme of life, he always had that dream. In the dream, he was some gay music composer with a kimono-clad boyfriend who looked a bit too similar to Shizuo for his comfort.

Having a dream where he lived an alternate life didn't really bother Izaya as much as the content of his dreams. In his dreams, he had sex with shizuo-look alike as if they're bunnies in 24/7 mating season. Seriously, what-the-fuck, self. Izaya refused to believe that he was in denial or had some sexual frustration tendencies. No, it was impossible. Definitely not possible!

To make himself feel better, Izaya went out trolling Ikebukuro again. He played beautiful mind-games with ganguro girls, orchestrated some gang wars between the purples and the green boys, ran into Shizu-chan to ruin his day by dumping trash can onto his head, ran around the alleyways while being chased by the trashcan monster, and then ended the day with some delicious ootoro.

Yes Namie-san, Izaya knew how to live a healthy life.

Psyche frowned as he was listening to his headset as he scribbled down some notes on his music sheet. He crumpled them immediately and tossed it into the small trashcan that was already piled with half-finished scores.

Psyche frowned even harder when he noticed the trashcan. His shoulders drooped even lower.

Tsugaru watched quietly as he smoked his pipe. A slow hazy ring formed and drifted towards Psyche's frown. Finally, he lowered his pipe and moved over to Psyche.

"Are you having a music block?"

"No. I mean yes! Wait, no, I'm not… umm…" Psyche sighed as he plopped his head on Tsugaru's lap, tired.

"What's bothering you?" Tsugaru asked gently as he brushed Psyche's soft hair.

"I had that dream again Tsu-chan." Psyche sighed deeply as his eyes glanced at the trashcan. "And this time, I dumped a trashcan on your head."

Tsugaru chuckled. "That's pretty amusing."

"No it's not!" Psyche flared as he pushed himself up from Tsugaru's lap so he can hug Tsugaru. "I would never dream of doing something like that to you! I swear!"

"I know." Tsugaru smiled at him. Psyche melted in his lap.

"I… I don't understand why I keep having these dreams." Psyche stammered.

"It's alright. I don't mind."

"I do!"

"It doesn't bother me one bit."

"But it bothers me!"

"Why?"

"B-because! I'm wondering if this is what I'm thinking unconsciously! Or maybe I really do hate you Tsu-chan! Or maybe I-"

Tsugaru silenced him with a kiss. Then another kiss. And then another.

"I believe that you love me. I don't need any dreams to prove that reality." Tsugaru murmured as he lowered Psyche onto the floor. He unbuckled the pink belt and pulled down Psyche's white pants a bit. Psyche looked down at Tsugaru half-anxious and in half-anticipation.

"Tsu-chan… I…" but Psyche couldn't finish his sentence and moaned sweetly as Tsugaru gave him a good hard sucking.

"Ugggggggggh!" Izaya practically pounded his head into his computer screen.

"Gawddamnthatdream." Izaya groaned as he leaned back on his favorite swivel chair. Namie knew he must be pretty sick if he didn't even want to swivel in it.

"I don't understand why I keep having this dream!" Izaya burst out loud. And though he knew that Namie didn't know what the contents of his dreams were, he still glared at her and said, "And no, I am not in denial nor is my dream manifestation of some disgusting denied sexual frustrations!"

Namie just raised her eyebrows that said 'uh-huh. Right. And if you're not crazy, the sun will rise from the west tomorrow.'

"And I did take your advice and went around Ikebukuro for some exercise." Izaya added as he crossed his arms.

"Some exercise?"

"Oh, the usual. I managed to have Shizu-chan run around Ikebukuro with me for a good run for my physical exercise, orchestrated some games that got two gangs disbanded in one day when their bosses got jailed as my mental exercise, and exercised my spiritual healing as I explained to a few girls that without evolution and evolving into a stronger human being, their lives weren't much compared to an ameba." Izaya smirked as he relived his yesterday. Namie rolled her eyes.

Izaya slammed his fist onto his desk. "So, why do I keep having these dreams?"

"That's not exactly considered a 'healthy' exercise."

"Oh? Then do tell, what is considered a healthy exercise?"

"Why, I'd cook some home-made meals for Seiji, give him a good back rub, and some boobjobs as I wash him thoroughly, wear my best lingerie as I ask him what color I should wear and then get the bed made, a bit small for two people but snuggly enough, and then-"

Izaya groaned. He shouldn't have bothered asking about her fantasies.

Izaya sighed in bed as he laid there awake. It was pitch dark; the city was slowly sleeping, while the rats still scurried about underground doing their dirty business. Usually, Izaya would be one of them, dealing businesses or messing their lives, poking his noses in places to observe them, but tonight he was tired.

It's been more than two months now since he's bee having these constant dreams. At first it was infrequent, but now it was every night. The more Izaya trolled around Ikebukuro, more frequently the dreams came. It was as if that Shizu look-alike was giving Izaya look-alike some comfort sex each time Izaya did something that made him cry. It came to the point that Izaya refused to sleep. And no matter how much Izaya denied of himself being a human, without sleep, he wasn't able to function properly.

So Izaya stared at his ceiling blankly, not having enough energy to run around Ikebukuro anymore. All he can do now is stare at his ceiling in his dark room. Alone. He closed his eyes briefly.

"Psyche…." Tsugaru moaned his name as he licked Psyche's pale neck.

Izaya swore and willed his eyes open. He tried to keep his eyes opened as long as possible but the bags under his eyes made his lids heavy. He blinked once.

"I love you…" Tsugaru whispered into his ear before he nibbled on one of his earlobes. Psyche gasped and shivered in his embrace.

Izaya forced open his eyes again. He refused to even blink his eyes.

"I must be going mad." Izaya said to himself. He laughed weakly. Then he laughed louder, followed by laughter after laughter, trying to drown in his own voice laughing and laughing away.

Finally after he laughed his fill, Izaya let out a deep sigh. He turned over to his side. He clung to his black silken bed sheets. Izaya gritted his teeth, determined that no dreams or illusions will control him, and closed his eyes.

Izaya was welcomed with the full scene played before him.

"Does this feel good?" Tsugaru asked as he fingered inside Psyche, massaging his prostate.

"Y… yes…. But Tsu-chan, it's… it's dirty…" Psyche moaned as he held tightly onto the bed sheets under him as he squirmed in pleasure.

"It's alright. I love you."

"Shizu-chan…" Izaya sighed as something wet rolled down his cheek. Why did that blonde in his dreams always had that smile full of love? Izaya craved for it, even though he knew he could never have it.