Of Mothers and Mayhem
By Danii
Summary: I seem to be having a little problem getting the creative juices flowing for the next big story in this series, so I decided to do a little story in the middle of their road-trip to warm up. Don't kill me! So in this story, Ash makes a little stop at home to see his dear old mom, but while he's there, he finds out that a pack of particularly nasty vampires are about to attack his hometown. So the Williams clan, plus Xander, fight the good fight...
Distribution: Anyone who wants it. But please ask, and let me know where your site is.
Disclaimer: I own no one. I get no payment for this, just headaches and odd stares.
NOTE: For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, this is a sequel to "Of Chainsaws and Shotguns..." which can be found at my site below...
Rating: PG13-R
And now:
"Thirty-three bottles of beer on the wall-"
"I get it now, Xander..."
"Thirty-three bottles of beer!"
"This isn't funny!"
"You take one down and pass it around-"
"You had better stop!!"
"Thirty-two bottles of beer on the wall!"
"This is SO not funny, kid..." Ash grumbled.
Xander grinned back. "Thirty-two bottles of beer!"
"I'm gonna throttle you!!"
"Notwhileyou'redriving-you take one down and pass it around..."
"I will crash this car-"
"Thirty-one bottles of beer on the wall!"
"Look kid, I don't care how many times you've cleaned our place for me, I will pull out that damn shotgun if you don't quit it!"
Xander gave him a fake frown, and then smiled brightly. Ash looked at his friend's face and grinned sheepishly.
"I guess I kinda deserve that..." Ash started.
"Yes," the younger Keeper replied as he thought of the many interrupted kisses over the last few months, "You really really did."
"But you'll stop now, right?"
Xander stared at his mentor and best friend incredulously, then began to laugh. He laughed long and hard, then sobered up to shake his head at Ash.
"Damn." Was all Ash said.
There was silence in the car then that the elder Keeper found to be rather nice after so many rounds of "99 Bottles of Beer on The Wall", but as he looked at the road signs, he knew he had to ask soon.
"Hey kid?"
Xander, who had been watching the ever-so-interesting scenery provided by the side of I-94, grimaced. Damn, but the S-Mart man had timing. Just as he was pulling out a particularly nice memory of a night with Buffy, Ash had to talk. This was getting more than annoying. Xander made a mental note to himself concerning the necessity of ending his friend's talent at interruption of his love life.
"What?"
Ash snorted at his tone. "What's got your boxers in a bunch, Xand-man? I was just wondering if you'd mind a short detour..."
"To where?"
"To my mom's house..." Ash replied with a rather sheepish grin, "I haven't seen her for a few years, and since it's really not that far, I was just-"
Xander laughed, and then waved his hands in a dismissive way. "Please...sure we can go see your mommy..."
Ash breathed out slowly in relief. "Good, cause if she ever found out I was over here and didn't stop-"
"I mean, I can't wait to meet the woman who popped you out...she's gotta be something" the young Keeper continued, snickering just a little "So where are we heading?"
"Franklin, Michigan." Ash informed him, pointing at the sign just ahead of them. It read: "Warren 10/ Roseville 5/Franklin 22"
Xander pulled back and looked his partner-in-slime up and down. "You? A Michigan boy? I always figured you as a New Yorker!"
Ash grunted, "Please. What made you think that?"
"Well, you're a paranoid son-of-a-bitch with more weapons than a Navy base who's ticked off most of the time. Which, to my mind, means New Yorker."
The elder Keeper seemed to think for a second, then nodded. "Yeah, I can see where you got that idea. But I'm Michigan born and bred. It's what happened when I left that made me into what I am today."
There was silence again until they came up to the exit. Ash turned, which brought them onto a nice little road. Then, Xander broke the silence.
"So, what's she like?"
Ash turned and looked at his best friend with an odd stare, and then turned his eyes back to the road. "I don't know, she's my mom."
"Yeah, but what's she like?" Xander continued, moving around in his seat. They'd been in the car for quite a while, and he hadn't had a decent bed beneath him since he'd left Sunnydale. So the idea at stopping somewhere where, hopefully, they would be asked to stay the night, sounded good to him.
"She's...nice," Ash said, running through his mind to find something he could describe the essence of his mother, "uh, with a good sense of humor...and...a sense of right and wrong...tough, if you try to mess with her, um..."
Xander saw the trouble his friend was having and waved it off. "I'll just wait and see for myself..."
"Not for long." Ash responded with some strange combination of a grin and a grimace, "cause we're here!"
The Keeper pulled his old Chevy into the rocky driveway of an old Victorian house then, carefully driving past the three lawn gnomes and narrowly missing the garden hose that was lying off to the side. A second later, Ash killed the engine and took out his key. Xander, who had been looking at the house, saw a blind on the second floor window fall. Suddenly a distinctly female voice rang out across the yard.
"ASHLEY JEREMIAH WILLIAMS! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN THREE YEARS!"
Xander would have turned to make a crack about his friend's middle name, but was too busy being astounded by the speed of the brunette bullet that flew into Ash's arms. When he caught her, Xander was able to see the light streaks of gray in the woman's hair, not to mention the rather pleasant-looking face which bore a good resemblance to the man holding her, despite the addition of a few new wrinkles and the obvious femininity of the features. Xander was in shock, but Ash was smiling widely as he put the woman down.
"Hi Mom..."
"Well, hello stranger!" Ash's mother exclaimed, hugging him tightly while kissing him on the cheek, "What lawnmower did you have a drunken brawl with recently?"
Ash looked at her oddly, and then remembered the new additions he'd acquired in Sunnydale to his collection of scars. Smiling broadly as Xander had only seen him do on a few occasions, the Keeper replied, "One of those John Deer jobs; they fight dirty!"
His mother grinned back at him, her smile taking years off of her face. And there weren't many on there. According to Xander's math, she had to be at the least fifty years old, but she didn't look a day over forty. And she was very pretty. With dark brown, nearly black hair and deep chocolate eyes, she matched her son for coloring, but that wasn't it. Ash had obviously gotten his eyes from the petite woman, and something he couldn't place that made him think of Ash. Then he realized that it was the woman's smile. It was just like his friend's. Xander had an idea that he would like this lady.
"And who is this handsome stranger you've brought to us?" Mrs. Williams asked, her gaze settling on Xander, "Trying to set him up with Elena? I think she'll like him...looks like fun to me..."
Ash put his mother down, taking enjoyment at Xander's completely shocked look and then shook his head. "No, Mom. This is Xander, my best friend. He and I share an apartment. Xander, this is my mom, Alexis Williams. Mom, Xander Harris."
Mrs. Williams' gaze turned curious. "Isn't he a bit young? You aren't corrupting the young man, are you, Ashley?"
"Trust me," Xander assured his best friend's mother, "his apartment is much better than where I was before."
"What do you-" She stopped herself, and her attitude changed completely into deep embarrassment, "To think! I'm interrogating you, and I haven't even brought you into the house!" The little woman looked a little flustered, but not to the pathetic point. "Come in! I've left your room for you, and Mortimer can set up another bed in there for your friend."
Her attention shifted, and then she shouted towards the house, "MORTIMER! ASHLEY'S COME FOR A VISIT! AND HE BROUGHT A FRIEND!"
Xander noticed that her voice had a unique piercing quality, one that the young Keeper had come to know from Ash. It was the sort of voice that told you things, instead of suggesting them.
He didn't have any time to think of it further since he was then pulled forcefully by his arm into the house, along with Ash. The two Keepers were released as soon as they hit the living room, where three other people were sitting. Xander blinked confusedly, trying to figure out what to do. He hadn't been in any unfamiliar house for quite a while, and he didn't know if he should sit, or stand or what.
Meanwhile, one of the men on the couch, a shorter, older version of Ash with light brown hair, got up and pulled the elder Keeper into a bear hug.
"It's good to see you, little brother!" The man said loudly in a pleasant voice, "Been a while. Where you been? What've you been doing? And what happened to your face?"
Ash did admirably well in the face of that many questions, quickly responding, "Sunnydale, California. Working. It's a long story."
The other stared at him curiously, blinked, and then laughed. "Well, you have got to tell me! Must be interesting to have messed up your face that bad..."
There was silence, then the man turned to look at Xander.
"Who's that? Did you bring him for Elena?"
Ash disengaged from his relation, and then shook his head adamantly. "Xander, meet my brother, James. James, this is Xander. And why does everyone think I brought him for Elena?"
James shrugged, then sat down to make room for the two girls on the couch to jump up and hug the S-Mart employee.
"Oh, Ash, we're so glad to see you!" said the dark brunette. She looked like a taller, younger version of her mother, with perhaps a little more of her brother's looks, "Why haven't you come around?"
"Yeah, Uncle Ashley!" Cried the other, who was blonde but unmistakably the other's daughter. Xander had a feeling this was Elena. "Why haven't you come to see us!"
Ash hugged them both, kissing each on the cheek soundly as he laughed. "I'm sorry to have so badly forgotten my favorite sister and her lovely daughter! Don't kill me too many times..."
"Only twice..." said the older one.
"Maybe three times if you don't apologize again." Said the younger.
The two of them hugged Ash a little harder, to which he responded by gasping about how he couldn't breath. Xander was close to laughing. Ash was so different. He was so...happy. Carefree. Wholesome looking, despite the scars. Xander had never seen him like this. He'd seen glimpses every once in a while, when he and Ash were alone and playing card games or Monopoly. But not like this. It made Xander glad they had stopped, but also a little lonely. He wished he could have a family like that. A family that loved him and would actually be glad to see him. The closest thing he had to that was Ash, but right now he was feeling very alone.
"Debra, Elena, this is Xander..." Ash said at last, pulling his best friend over to the little group hug. "Xander Harris, this is my sister Debra, and her daughter Elena."
Debra pulled away from Ash and held her hand out for a sensible handshake. Xander put his hand in hers, and she promptly shook it. Then Xander turned to Elena.
The blonde was staring at him with very scantily hidden infatuation, and held her hand out daintily. She was obviously hoping he would hold it to his lips and kiss it, but Xander already had a girlfriend. More importantly, he had a girlfriend who he loved more than life. And even more importantly, that girlfriend could beat him badly. So Xander just pretended he hadn't noticed her stare and shook her hand. Deep in his gut, he knew that Elena was going to get him in trouble with someone.
"Well, that's just about the whole Williams clan..." Ash said at last, his breath a bit wild from holding off the two females, "Except for Dad. DAD!?"
As the shout left Ash's lips, Mortimer Williams walked in. He was tall, with broad shoulders and muscles he had managed to keep even at his age. His face was like Ash's: very handsome, but rather heavy in the jaw. At his temples, Mortimer's black hair was interrupted by two streaks of silver. His eyes were different from his son's; a bit more square, and they were a light blue-green color that made Xander think of the ocean. The young Keeper couldn't even begin to guess this man's age.
"Good to see you, Ashley," the man said in a deep, smooth voice that only slightly crackled with age, "Haven't been by in a while. Good timing, son. Jim and Debby stopped by today, and we were going to have dinner together at the Red Lobster. The one in Novi? Would you and your friend like to come?"
As he asked, Mortimer's gaze went from his son to Xander. The older Williams seemed to be sizing him up, deciding if he was a good kid, or some little punk Ash had found. He grunted slightly in a positive way, and then turned back to Ash.
"Looks like a nice kid...what's his name?"
"Alexander Harris. He and I hooked up a few months ago. He's been living with me for a while."
"But not in a gay way." Xander assured his friend's father, "And please call me Xander."
The old man seemed to think this over for a second, and his expression turned pensive. Xander got scared when he did this. He really didn't want Ash's dad to hate him. He had his own dad to do that, and he really didn't want to have any trouble with Ash or his family. But his fears were put aside when Mortimer Williams' face broke out into the grin he knew so well, and he pulled the young Keeper into a bear hug.
"Any friend of Ashley's is a friend of ours!"
"Good, cause otherwise I'd really be scared about the fact that I can't breath at the moment..." Xander said, straining to breath. Apparently, Ash didn't get all his strength from his Keeper-ness.
Mortimer laughed again, then released the young Keeper.
"So, what do you say...Red Lobster?"
"Sure." Ash replied, "Xander, Red Lobster?"
"Sure. Food is good."
A few minutes later, the entire Williams family was packed into Mr. Williams' van and off to the local Red Lobster. Mortimer and Alexis were in the front seats, while Ash and his brother James took the seats behind them. Xander, Elena, and Debra were in the back, the young Keeper unfortunately right next to his best friend's infatuated niece, who took every opportunity to squeeze up next to him as the van turned. It wasn't that she was ugly. In fact, she was beautiful, her long blonde hair shimmering in the fleeting streetlights, illuminating her very pretty face. It was just that he was already in love, had
been for years, with Buffy Summers, and only Buffy Summers. And he knew that. There was no attraction whatsoever (okay, it took a thought or two of what Buffy would do to him to make it none whatsoever) to this girl who was so obviously trying to flirt with him. Unfortunately, he didn't have the slightest idea how to get her to lay off without insulting Ash or his family. He was so screwed.
But, he thought with a mental sigh, at least she was talking with him. The rest of the family, Ash included, seemed to have forgotten him as they shared old memories and laughed at jokes that had obviously been told at least a hundred times in that crowd. It
wasn't as if they were deliberately ignoring him; Xander knew his friend was just glad to see his folks again, which was perfectly understandable. However, he didn't have to like it all that much. Luckily for him, the trip was pretty short, and within a few minutes the van was pulling into a parking spot right outside of the restaurant. Everyone got out (Elena took a minute of pushing gently against him, but finally did exit the vehicle) and walked over.
However, feeling a bit lonely, Xander lagged behind. Even Ash's niece had joined the group, leaving the young Keeper all by himself as he walked through the parking lot towards the Red Lobster. But just as he was about to hit the sidewalk, Mrs. Williams came over to him.
"Don't be upset, Xander," she said gently, "he's just excited to see all of his family again. He hasn't seen us for three years, and his brother and sister for five. He's missed us, and we've missed him, so of course he's a little occupied with us."
"I know, I don't have a-"
Alexis Williams' eyes narrowed as she looked directly at the young man's face, her gaze similar to the one her son used upon the evil dead. "Don't try to bullshit a bullshit artist."
Xander's eyes widened as he heard the gruff words come from between his best friend's mother's lips. He didn't say a word.
"I know it was bothering you, honey. I could see it in your eyes." Mrs. Williams continued, "But you oughta know that he really cares about you, kid...he cares about you like a son. I saw it in his eyes the second you came, and I see it every time he looks at you. You're his friend; you mean the world to him.
"He hasn't been the same since Linda disappeared, you know...she was his love, his joy, his reason for living, and without her, he was just lost. Lonely. And I felt so bad for my boy, that I couldn't help him. It took him two years before he would come and see us, so that we could talk to him, and when we finally did see him, he was...well, he was hurting..."
"I know all about Linda." Xander told her, trying to stop the speech he knew was coming despite his interest in his friend's past.
"Well," Ash's mother replied, "You mean as much to him as she did, maybe even more...now, I don't know what your story is, or how you met him-"
"S-Mart..." the young Keeper supplied, "I met him at the local S-Mart when I went to get some gum. As for my story, that's a bit personal..."
"Personal, shmersonal!" Mrs. Williams cried, "You're family!"
Xander's eyes flashed in confusion as she said it. "What?"
She seemed to do something close to a shrug, and then told him, "If my boy cares about you that much, then you're family, got it? You can call me Mom..."
"I don't really-" Xander started, and then stopped himself. Why was he protesting so much? He'd always wanted to have someone to call Mom (his own mother having asked him never to call...ever), and now he was being dumb over pride and silliness. Besides, even though they had just met, Xander really liked Mrs. Williams.
"Okay, Mom..." he said with a fake sigh, which was belied by the large grin on his face. Mrs. Williams answered his grin with a smile of her own, and then put her arm around his shoulders. He was much taller than her, so it was difficult, but Ash's mother pulled it off still looking dignified.
"Much better..." Mrs. Williams said loudly, still grinning at him. She nodded to him, and they began to walk the rest of the way, until Xander stopped her short right in front of the door.
"What is it, honey?" she asked, her upturned face full of concern for her new "adopted" child.
Xander didn't say a word, but gently lifted her arm off of him. He seemed to be looking around for something, his head cocked at an odd angle, and then he turned to Mrs. Williams.
"Go in, now..." Xander told her quietly, looking into her eyes to get the message across. She looked about to argue, but something in his expression and his actions must have told her to do as he asked, and a second later Mrs. Williams walked into the Red Lobster.
The Keeper watched as his friend's mother disappeared into the restaurant, and then turned his attention to the alley next-door. His senses had picked up something, or rather two somethings, that disturbed him, both of which being dark red to his senses. Deep down, he knew what they were, but he really didn't want to think of it. He didn't even want to consider it at all. But he did have to investigate.
Moving quietly, Xander made his way to the edge of the alley, and then peeked around the corner. He was rewarded with a view of several garbage cans, a dumpster, a popped tire, and exactly what he didn't want to see.
Two vampires, their faces ridged and grotesque in the streetlight, sat upon the tire and one of the garbage cans, and they were talking. Their backs were hunched in the way that made you think of sharing a secret, and their eyes darted around the alley. They had paused as he had walked over, but after assuring themselves that there was no danger, they started again.
"Those Californians think they're hot shit..." grumbled the one who was sitting on the tire.
"Well, they do live on the Hellmouth..." the other said, "With the Slayer. Must be tough. And besides, those three aren't that bad. Not nearly as bad as those folks from Grand Rapids..."
"Not that bad! They were telling Jason how he should run things, even the big feast!"
Xander blinked in surprise. Feast? That couldn't be good...
"So it's tonight, right, Frank?" the one said, his eagerness easily heard.
"Yes, tonight, Evan..." the other told him angrily, "Don't you ever listen to what Jason says? He told us a few hours ago! All about it, and how this was his ticket to big city leadership! I mean, I can remember his words exactly: 'Gather at the Church in Franklin at 9:00 to begin the town assault...' Jeez, what's wrong with you?"
"I was busy!" the other, Evan, hissed. Then he continued to defend his intelligence.
But Xander wasn't listening any more. He was in shock. If what these two morons said was right, there was going to be an attack on Ash's hometown. Tonight. And no one had the slightest clue about it. Unlike Sunnydale, Franklin didn't have a Slayer to keep up with this stuff, and apparently, the local vampire leader had decided to invite a few friends for a smorgasbord. Xander wondered why they had picked this spot, but that question was erased as he realized that getting a solution was more important.
He walked slowly away from the alley, and back to the restaurant, where he found the Williams' table quickly. Everyone was busy picking their meal, but all eyes turned to him as he came over. He sat in the empty seat next to Ash, looking as if he hadn't heard
a thing about nasty vampire attacks, and smiled at everyone. Mrs. Williams smiled back, but had a question in her eyes.
"Bathroom" Xander explained, grinning sheepishly.
She obviously didn't truly accept the answer, but she nodded nonetheless, and returned to her menu along with the others. Xander took this opportunity to ask Ash something that had been bothering him for a while.
"Do they know?" He whispered, trying to do it as inconspicuously as he could.
"Know what, kid?"
"What you are? What happened to you, and Linda? Being a Keeper? You know, that stuff?"
Ash pulled his eyes from his menu, and turned to Xander. "Of course not! You think I'd tell my mother that I decapitated, then chainsawed her future daughter-in-law! Not to mention the rest!"
"I don't know!" Xander hissed back, "But you're going to have to tell her, tell them all soon, as in tonight..."
"Why?" Ash asked. Anybody else would have thought the kid was threatening him, but not Ash. They were far too close for it to have even crossed his mind. But, if the kid wasn't threatening him, why was he...
"There are a bunch of vampires...I don't know how many, but it will be a lot if what I heard is right..."
He really didn't want to say it.
"What, Xander?!"
The young Keeper sighed and then whispered, "That are planning to make your town an all-you-can-eat buffet tonight at 9..."
Ash looked at his watch. It said 6:32. "Shit."
Xander rolled his eyes and asked sarcastically, "Is that 'shit, we're in trouble?' or 'this shit is not fair?'"
Ash gave his best friend a death glare, and then settled down behind his menu to think. Xander did the same. It took a few moments, but then they turned to one another with the same idea, even if Ash didn't want to admit it.
"We're gonna need some help, Ash," his younger friend said with an odd look in his eyes, "We're not in Sunnydale this time. We can't pull that duo crap here..."
"I know that!" Ash said, aggravated at the choices he was going to have to make.
"And we don't know how many there are..."
The S-Mart employee didn't answer this time. He was busy thinking unpleasant thoughts. So it took him a few seconds to notice how Xander was looking at the other people at the table. Ash turned sharply to look at the other man.
"Oh no" Ash hissed, his face rigid with anger, "You had better not be thinking what I think you're thinking..."
"What do you mean?" Xander replied, his voice frustrated but low, "We need secrecy and help, and it IS their home!"
"I am NOT going to get my family involved in this crap!" Ash cried far too loudly, "No way! And for-"
"Not going to get us involved in what, Ashley?" Mrs. Williams' asked slowly, her voice carrying a sharp edge barely concealed by a pleasant lilt.
The eldest Keeper turned to face his mother slowly, all his body language screaming submission and nervousness. It was so odd; Xander had never seen his partner like that. Then again, he had never seen anyone with quite the 'presence' of Ash's mother ticked off at him. The young man wished to God that he never had such a look or tone directed at him.
"Nothing, Mom..." Ash answered with a rather fake chuckle, "Nothing to worry about..."
At his words, Mrs. Williams' seemed to go stiff. A few people looked over. "'Nothing to worry about'?" she said icily, obviously pulling up some old, pent up frustration, "'Nothing to worry about'?"
"Yeah, Mom, it's nothing..." Ash told her quietly.
Jim seemed about to get up and do something about the situation, but Mrs. Williams' shot him the patented Williams' death glare. He sat down quickly.
"I don't like it when you lie to me, Ashley," she said, standing up straight, "Didn't like it the last time you visited, and I don't like it now."
"What do you mean, Mom?"
"I mean," she said, her voice hard and pointed, "That bull-crap you feed everyone of us about what happened five years ago..."
Oh shit, thought Xander. Just like a mother. Wait for the worst possible moment to bring stuff up, and then make a public scene of it. Hope he doesn't expect me to do anything about it...
"What" he swallowed, "crap, Mom?"
"That crap about the lawnmower!" Mrs. Williams spat out heatedly, causing a few more people to look over, "You don't lose your hand like that from a lawnmower! And the fact that your Uncle claims you never even GOT to his house? How could Linda leave you there if you never got there!? And where exactly did she go? Why? And all those scars? And that attack at your job a couple years ago? You've NEVER been able to lie to me, and you didn't suddenly gain the ability back then! I knew it was shit! But I figured you'd tell us in time! But no! You didn't! And now your trying to lie to me AND your father again!"
At being mentioned, Mortimer Williams got up from his chair and put his large, rough hand upon his wife's small shoulder. The petite woman seemed to calm at his touch, but by no means lost any of her fire. Xander could still see it in her eyes; it was the same fire that his partner got when they were fighting. That I-won't-give-up righteous anger.
"Let's head home..." the eldest Williams suggested, giving a nod of his head to the others at the table. They seemed to wake up as he did, and each gave Ash sympathetic looks. He had asked for it, but no one who knew what it was like delighted in seeing another person at the end of Alexis Williams' fury.
Silently, everyone got up and walked to the van. Mrs. Williams' steps were slow and angry, Mr. Williams' calming and relaxed. Debra and Jim were both in that quiet 'hope-she-doesn't-start-on-me" mode that most people with siblings learn to avoid trouble, while Elena stuck close to Xander, obviously thinking that the outsider would remain okay, and proximity to him would help her stay out of trouble. That, and she WANTED to remain close to him. Xander just tried to walk without tripping over her.
They all got in the van, and drove back to the house. There was no conversation except for some excited murmuring from the front seat between Mr. And Mrs. Williams. Xander, who had finally managed to get a seat away from Elena, looked over to his partner.
He looked absolutely lost. The elder Keeper seemed to radiate gloominess with his head in his hand and glove. He appeared to want to die right on the spot. His mother was mad at him on his first visit back in three years over something that he'd lied about to protect them. Now, he'd have to tell them and they'd either get sucked in his insane world (which could lead to them dying) or they could think him crazy (which could, considering the vampire attack tonight, lead to them dying). All in all, it sucked.
When they finally got home, it was about 7:00, and the van was unloaded just as silently as it had been entered. Everyone walked quietly to the house, took off their light coats, and put them on the banister, then took their spots in the living room. Only then did Mrs. Williams speak.
"Now, I want the truth, Ashley. The whole, unadulterated, unedited truth, understand?"
Ash, who had been sitting on the end of the couch with his head between his knees, looked up to his mother, then to Xander, who was right next to him.
"Would you help me out, kid?" he asked with a small grin, "Verify all this so they don't thinking I'm crazy?"
Xander nodded, then both of them got up. Ash took the center floor and Xander stood besides him. Then they smiled at one another once, just for a little support, and then Ash started.
"Now this is not a joke, not a trick, and certainly NOT a lie." The elder Keeper told his family, "It all started when me and Linda were headed to Uncle's cabin. We got lost and went to the wrong cabin. We figured out quickly that this wasn't the right cabin, but it was getting dark, and no one was there, so we just stayed. God, I wish we had left. But we didn't, and instead of leaving, I went to go pull out some champagne to salvage the evening. On my way, I found a tape recorder. And I played it. And a man's voice started to speak in an odd language."
Ash paused for a moment, obviously thinking about that night in more detail then he was telling. The necklace, the piano, the damn tape...
"Then my life was shot to hell..."
**
"So when the book landed, me and Xander decided we had to go get it. As far as we know, it's somewhere northeast, probably in the Toronto area. I stopped here cause you're on the way..." Ash finished, "Right, kid?"
"Right" Xander replied, verifying Ash's entire story with one word.
"And that's about it..." the S-mart man ended, "So which version do you like better?"
The Williams simply sat there in shock, leaving the room quite, which Ash and Xander liked. Neither of them, for the most part, had liked enjoyed the insanity that was their past, and the looks from Ash's family hadn't helped either of them feel any better about it.
Finally, Mrs. Williams got up, and with a small nervous chuckle asked, "So, what did you say happened with that lawnmower, dear?"
And that one comment sent everyone in the room, including Ash and Xander, into insane laughter. Each and every one of them giggled maniacally, and Xander even fell off the couch, as they got rid of the stress and nervousness from their systems. It wasn't laughter at what had been told. It was closer to joyous laughter that the two men had made it through all the insanity alive. But after a minute, the laughter died, and everyone was quiet again.
"And all this is true?" Mr. Williams asked then, interrupting the silence, "The entire thing? You really were forced to decapitate Linda, cut off your hand, kill a bunch of, er...um...what was that word again, son?"
"Deadites, dad..."
"Yeah, deadites, and then you were sucked into a portal that brought you into Medieval Europe?"
"Got it in one, Mr. Williams..." Xander replied.
The eldest Williams looked at the young man who had answered him and smiled, then looked to his son.
"Yeah, Dad...it all happened..." Ash responded.
Mr. Williams nodded, and then put his head down for a moment. He seemed to be absorbing the entire story bit by bit, and then, out of nowhere, he jumped up and embraced his son.
"I'm so proud of you!" He cried, pulling Ash into a bear hug in which he could barely breath "You survived when all those other assholes would have just rolled over and died! You fought a demon inside you and you won! You lead an army! You used the brains God gave you and did something with them for once! I'm so proud of you son!"
Before Ash could even think of a reply to this, his mother jumped up and began to shout the same sort of things, all the while hugging him closely. She pulled Xander into the group hug, and then Jim, Debra, and Elena joined in as well (though Elena was into hugging Xander a little more than he would have liked). They stayed like that for a while, until everyone needed to come up for air and get a little space. When everyone was separated and back in their places, Ash, his face red and his hair tousled, smiled at them all.
"Well that was unexpected..." Xander said sarcastically, grinning at his best friend, "Goodness knows my parents wouldn't take such news as well..."
"That's my family!" Ash shouted with pride. Then his face went sober. "But we have no time to goof around..."
Xander blinked, then tapped his forehead dramatically, "Oh yeah, the whole vampires-are-attacking-the-town thing! You see, this kind of thing is why YOU are the Master..."
"But not the brains of the operation! You're the one going to college..."
"Attacking the town?" Jim asked around their conversation, his humor entirely gone in an instant, "As in, Franklin?"
"Damn, your family's good at this...they're a regular Scooby gang..." the young Keeper said with a smile.
Ash mussed his hair affectionately, then told him to shut up. "We haven't got time for chatter...we have got to get a plan here...I say we-"
"What facts do we have at the moment?" Mrs. Williams broke in, her face calm and cool.
Ash looked up to his mother, seemingly annoyed, but when he saw the expression on her face, he told her, "We have an indeterminate amount of vampires who are going to attack the city at 9 pm, which is roughly an hour from now, and they will be starting their assault from the old Church..."
Mrs. Williams didn't say a word to Ash, who, along with Xander, was staring at her in awe and confusion. Instead, she turned around to her daughter, and said, "Go get the map you had to draw in third grade. It's hanging in a frame in the hallway of the second floor."
Debra nodded, then did as she was asked. As soon as she was gone, Mrs. Williams turned around to see the stunned looks of Ash and Xander.
"What?" Alexis Williams asked with a wide grin, "You think that the mother of three children doesn't know how to plan things? Or keep her calm in a highly volatile situation?"
"No, Mom..." The two Keepers said in unison.
"Good," she said, with a determined look on her face, "Then let's get cracking. You two said that you aren't as strong as you are on the Hellmouth. How much weaker are you here?"
"Well, where as we could kill twenty vampires with ease before..." Ash started.
"We can kill around ten of them with ease now." Xander finished.
"Okay..." Mrs. Williams said, obviously filing the knowledge, "Then we are going to have to figure out a way to keep everyone in town inside their houses..."
"Huh?"
"Well," she reasoned, "Vampires can't go into a house when they haven't been invited into. So all we have to do is make sure everyone stays inside and the vampires can't get them...I know, I'll call everyone up and tell them that they're spraying for that West Nile virus! That way, no one will go out, and no one will let people into their homes!"
"Brilliant, Mom!" Ash cried in joy, then he deflated, "One problem..."
"What?" asked Jim, who thought it was a marvelous plan.
"We still have to kill every single one of them..."
"Why?" His brother asked, standing up to face Ash. It didn't work all that well because Jim was only as tall as Ash's shoulders.
"Because..." the Master Keeper explained, as if talking to a child, "If we don't kill them, they'll just come back, and this time you won't have us!"
"Oh..." Jim said, backing down.
"Then we'll just have to add to Mrs. Williams superb plan..." Xander said, his eyes alight with many ideas that were running through his head, "Do any of you have any hand to hand fighting knowledge? Weapons training?"
"I have both..." Mr. Williams informed them, "Several years in the navy..."
"Any knife fighting?" the young man asked.
"You learn things..." the eldest Williams said with a small grin, "Yeah, I can use a blade..."
"Good, then you'll do fine with a stake..." Xander answered, tossing him one of the ones he kept on his person at all times, "Jim, what about you?"
"I can shoot, if that's what you mean..." Ash's brother said with a small frown, "But if it's vampires-"
"As a wise man once told me," the young Keeper said with a smile at his best friend, "there aren't many things that can survive shotgun decapitation...luckily, vampires can't."
"All right then."
"And the wood-tipped bullets I made special ought to do the trick too..."
"What about Debra?" Xander asked Jim, his eyes going to where the young woman had disappeared.
"Served in the Army for two years..." Ash's brother answered, "She's a better shot than I am!"
"Good..."
"Mom?" Ash asked, almost afraid of what he might hear.
"I know some judo, but I don't think it would help against vampires..." Mrs. Williams said with a thoughtful nod, "I should stay at home with Elena and keep up radio contact with all of you. Coordinate the lot. You will be going into fighting groups to pick off the vampires, am I right?"
No one answered her. Xander turned to Ash. "Your mother is amazing..."
"Yeah, I know..."
It was at this point that Debra returned with the map. "Here you go, Mom. The city of Franklin, as mapped by Debra Louise Williams in fine Crayola..."
"Good dear..." Mrs. Williams answered distractedly, "Now let's plan out the attack..."
"All right..." Xander said, taking charge on this front. Weapons were his specialty, especially when it came to all the special materials he himself had designed to kill vampires, "Mr. Williams, you said you can you use a knife?"
"As well as the next man, as I said before..." the elder Williams told him, "Well enough to kill something..."
"Sorry...this has me a little discombobulated...but that's good." Xander replied, pulling out three stakes from various areas on his person, "Then take these...and a cross..."
"Oh, we have plenty of those in the house, don't you worry about that." Mortimer Williams said with a smile, "And if you need some holy water, I'm you're man..."
"Huh?" the young Keeper asked in obvious confusion. What was Ash's dad talking about? Though, come to think of it, they were low on holy water. Ash explained a minute later.
"Dad's a pastor..." the deadite slayer said tiredly, waiting for the expected jokes from Xander about what his father, the pastor, would think about certain things. But for once, his young friend let him be. Ash thanked whoever was listening.
"Well, that ought to make our job easier then..." Xander said at last, "You can bless whole buckets, right?"
"Yup..." Mr. Williams (also known as Pastor Williams) said with a grin on his face, "And we can dump it on those damned suckers till their eyeballs fry!"
Xander's eyes opened wide at the rough statement.
"Well," Mortimer Williams said, "I'm a pastor. We thwart evil and it's wiles. Vampires are evil. To quote a favorite book of mine, 'you see a wile, you thwart'...it'll be nice to do it physically for once..."
"Okay then..." the Apprentice Keeper said carefully, "How about you, Debra? Jim mentioned military experience?"
"Yeah, Xand..." Ash's sister replied, "I was in the Army a couple years. I'm a good shot with a rifle, and not bad with a handgun...will that help?"
Xander smiled that mischievous smile he sometimes got, then gave her the 'one minute' finger signal and left the room. A few seconds later he came back with a large bag of equipment, and the first thing he pulled out was a double-barreled shotgun.
"How about this?" he asked, holding the gun up to her for her approval, "Think you can shoot the necks off of these bastards from a decent distance?"
"Yes, sir..." Debra answered with a small salute. Then she blushed. "Don't mind me..."
Xander smiled back at her. "I know the feeling..."
"Huh?"
"I was a fully trained Green Beret for a night...long, strange story. The training stuck, and now every once in a while, I get an urge to salute..." Xander admitted in a whisper, "But don't tell your brother or he'll ask me to do it to him!"
"I won't say anything..." Debra promised with a grin, "and yes, I should be able to use that with some accuracy."
Without another word, Xander nodded, then gave her the gun. A second later, he pulled out a few stakes, a small flask of holy water, and some shots. She took them without a word as well, then moved aside for the young man to hand some more weapons to the others.
"Jim?"
"Yeah."
"You get the rifle with the wood shots, a couple of stakes, and one of the 'shooters'..."
The man who looked so much like Xander's best friend got a nonplussed expression on his face.
"The whats?"
"Shooters..." Xander repeated, pulling out the other items from the bag and handing them to him, "Specially made by me. They attach to your arm..."
As he said it, the young Keeper revealed to the world in general his newest piece of vampire-fighting technology. It looked like something from a science fiction story, but the small points from the stakes hidden with it were far too real for it to be dismissed as a toy. He put it on his wrist to demonstrate.
"This..." he said with pride in his voice, "is a shooter. A spring action stake shooter that can hold up to twelve decent sized stakes. It's accurate to 20 yards, and all you have to do to shoot it is to squeeze the internal trigger, which is right here..."
As he said it, Xander pointed to a part of the underbelly of the piece of work.
"You're going to get one of these..." Xander said, taking it off and handing it to Jim, "As are myself and Ash, though his is specially made for his hand attachment..."
Two more of the odd weapons left the bag, each one going on the arm of a Keeper. Ash looked at his with pride and a gleam in his eyes, but for some reason he seemed to be holding something in.
"Oh, just say it, buddy..."
"Groovy..." Ash said at last, a huge smiling on his face. The rest of the family watched the little scene in confusion, then shrugged it off as one of the many things they would never understand about this pair.
"So let's go!"
"Not so fast, kid..." Ash said, restraining Xander with a look, "We need to plan this out a little, have Dad bless some...oh my God, that's it!"
"Ashley...I thought I told you not to take the Lord's name in vain!" Mrs. Williams shouted.
"Aw Christ, Mom...I'm-" Ash started before he realized just what he had said, "Oh, Je-"
"I think your foot is somewhere in the region of your pancreas at this point, buddy..." Xander chuckled as he watched his friend struggle with keeping his mouth clean. Normally, he'd be swearing up a storm about the vampires. But you just don't do that in front of your mother.
"Thank you, Alexander..." Ash's mother said with a smile to her newly adopted 'grandson' so to speak.
"I love you too, Mom..." the Master Keeper said sarcastically. She whacked him on the nose with the walkie talkie, much to his surprise.
"Don't be snippy with your coordinator!"
"Mom!" Ash whined, sounding nothing like the powerful Keeper that he was, "I've got an image! And I can't keep that image with you whacking me on the nose...I mean, I have to keep my macho-crap license!"
This set Xander into giggles, and confused Mrs. Williams to no end. "What are you-"
"Don't worry, Mom...old joke...but now I forgot my idea!"
The mother and son shared a smile, and then everyone went back to the business of preparing for the attack. Ash forgot the idea. While they were doing this, Xander looked up for a moment and asked Ash.
"Hey, what happened to Cheryl?"
Everyone in the room looked toward Xander as if he had a second head.
"What about Cherry?" Deborah, "She lives in Toronto with her husband Jake."
"Yeah, what were you expecting?" Ash asked.
Xander blushed. "I don't know...it just seems as if everyone is here, and she's not, and you never told me where she was."
Jim, Mortimer, Alexis, Deborah, and Ash just stared at Xander.
"Don't mind me..."
And no one did. Then Xander looked up again.
"Hey, I have an idea!"
Again, the entire population of the living room stared at the young Keeper.
"Yes?" Ash asked, hoping that whatever came out of his mouth was something relevant and intelligent. He seemed to be slipping from that sort since school had ended.
"Mr. Williams can bless water and make it holy water, right?"
Everyone nodded.
"Well, how long would it take to do that?"
Everyone looked to Mortimer, who scratched his chin thoughtfully. "A few seconds...why?"
As he heard this, Xander put his head down and began to murmur to himself. Ash had seen that before. He'd seen it on their first encounter with vampires. It was Xander's I'm-planning-something-good face, and the sight of it made Ash feel a lot better.
"If you blessed, say...a cross, or a hose..." the young man asked slowly, "Would the water, having touched them, be holy?"
"Yeah, sure..." Mr. Williams answered, wondering where the boy was going with this.
"And how many fire hydrants are there in the main square?"
The wheels began to turn in all of their heads, and Jim answered with a smile. "Four. They put in four because of the big fire we had ten years ago in the square. It spread, and the one hydrant wasn't enough. So now there are four hydrants in the square..."
"That we could open up, bless, and spray all the vampires with instead of fighting the whole bunch..." Ashley finished with a great big grin on his face. And the kid came through again! He ran over and hugged the young man he had come to think of as a son.
"Good job, kid..." he said, "Less chance for injury, maximum effect...this earned you at least three KFC dinners on me..."
"Really?" Xander asked, his eyes opened wide in delight. What that boy wouldn't do for food, Ash thought.
"Yeah, kid... really..."
The two of them smiled at each other, but Jim interrupted the little moment.
"But how do we get all the vampires into the square?"
The Keepers grinned at each other and all assembled.
"We round em up with our toys!"
By Danii
Summary: I seem to be having a little problem getting the creative juices flowing for the next big story in this series, so I decided to do a little story in the middle of their road-trip to warm up. Don't kill me! So in this story, Ash makes a little stop at home to see his dear old mom, but while he's there, he finds out that a pack of particularly nasty vampires are about to attack his hometown. So the Williams clan, plus Xander, fight the good fight...
Distribution: Anyone who wants it. But please ask, and let me know where your site is.
Disclaimer: I own no one. I get no payment for this, just headaches and odd stares.
NOTE: For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, this is a sequel to "Of Chainsaws and Shotguns..." which can be found at my site below...
Rating: PG13-R
And now:
"Thirty-three bottles of beer on the wall-"
"I get it now, Xander..."
"Thirty-three bottles of beer!"
"This isn't funny!"
"You take one down and pass it around-"
"You had better stop!!"
"Thirty-two bottles of beer on the wall!"
"This is SO not funny, kid..." Ash grumbled.
Xander grinned back. "Thirty-two bottles of beer!"
"I'm gonna throttle you!!"
"Notwhileyou'redriving-you take one down and pass it around..."
"I will crash this car-"
"Thirty-one bottles of beer on the wall!"
"Look kid, I don't care how many times you've cleaned our place for me, I will pull out that damn shotgun if you don't quit it!"
Xander gave him a fake frown, and then smiled brightly. Ash looked at his friend's face and grinned sheepishly.
"I guess I kinda deserve that..." Ash started.
"Yes," the younger Keeper replied as he thought of the many interrupted kisses over the last few months, "You really really did."
"But you'll stop now, right?"
Xander stared at his mentor and best friend incredulously, then began to laugh. He laughed long and hard, then sobered up to shake his head at Ash.
"Damn." Was all Ash said.
There was silence in the car then that the elder Keeper found to be rather nice after so many rounds of "99 Bottles of Beer on The Wall", but as he looked at the road signs, he knew he had to ask soon.
"Hey kid?"
Xander, who had been watching the ever-so-interesting scenery provided by the side of I-94, grimaced. Damn, but the S-Mart man had timing. Just as he was pulling out a particularly nice memory of a night with Buffy, Ash had to talk. This was getting more than annoying. Xander made a mental note to himself concerning the necessity of ending his friend's talent at interruption of his love life.
"What?"
Ash snorted at his tone. "What's got your boxers in a bunch, Xand-man? I was just wondering if you'd mind a short detour..."
"To where?"
"To my mom's house..." Ash replied with a rather sheepish grin, "I haven't seen her for a few years, and since it's really not that far, I was just-"
Xander laughed, and then waved his hands in a dismissive way. "Please...sure we can go see your mommy..."
Ash breathed out slowly in relief. "Good, cause if she ever found out I was over here and didn't stop-"
"I mean, I can't wait to meet the woman who popped you out...she's gotta be something" the young Keeper continued, snickering just a little "So where are we heading?"
"Franklin, Michigan." Ash informed him, pointing at the sign just ahead of them. It read: "Warren 10/ Roseville 5/Franklin 22"
Xander pulled back and looked his partner-in-slime up and down. "You? A Michigan boy? I always figured you as a New Yorker!"
Ash grunted, "Please. What made you think that?"
"Well, you're a paranoid son-of-a-bitch with more weapons than a Navy base who's ticked off most of the time. Which, to my mind, means New Yorker."
The elder Keeper seemed to think for a second, then nodded. "Yeah, I can see where you got that idea. But I'm Michigan born and bred. It's what happened when I left that made me into what I am today."
There was silence again until they came up to the exit. Ash turned, which brought them onto a nice little road. Then, Xander broke the silence.
"So, what's she like?"
Ash turned and looked at his best friend with an odd stare, and then turned his eyes back to the road. "I don't know, she's my mom."
"Yeah, but what's she like?" Xander continued, moving around in his seat. They'd been in the car for quite a while, and he hadn't had a decent bed beneath him since he'd left Sunnydale. So the idea at stopping somewhere where, hopefully, they would be asked to stay the night, sounded good to him.
"She's...nice," Ash said, running through his mind to find something he could describe the essence of his mother, "uh, with a good sense of humor...and...a sense of right and wrong...tough, if you try to mess with her, um..."
Xander saw the trouble his friend was having and waved it off. "I'll just wait and see for myself..."
"Not for long." Ash responded with some strange combination of a grin and a grimace, "cause we're here!"
The Keeper pulled his old Chevy into the rocky driveway of an old Victorian house then, carefully driving past the three lawn gnomes and narrowly missing the garden hose that was lying off to the side. A second later, Ash killed the engine and took out his key. Xander, who had been looking at the house, saw a blind on the second floor window fall. Suddenly a distinctly female voice rang out across the yard.
"ASHLEY JEREMIAH WILLIAMS! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN THREE YEARS!"
Xander would have turned to make a crack about his friend's middle name, but was too busy being astounded by the speed of the brunette bullet that flew into Ash's arms. When he caught her, Xander was able to see the light streaks of gray in the woman's hair, not to mention the rather pleasant-looking face which bore a good resemblance to the man holding her, despite the addition of a few new wrinkles and the obvious femininity of the features. Xander was in shock, but Ash was smiling widely as he put the woman down.
"Hi Mom..."
"Well, hello stranger!" Ash's mother exclaimed, hugging him tightly while kissing him on the cheek, "What lawnmower did you have a drunken brawl with recently?"
Ash looked at her oddly, and then remembered the new additions he'd acquired in Sunnydale to his collection of scars. Smiling broadly as Xander had only seen him do on a few occasions, the Keeper replied, "One of those John Deer jobs; they fight dirty!"
His mother grinned back at him, her smile taking years off of her face. And there weren't many on there. According to Xander's math, she had to be at the least fifty years old, but she didn't look a day over forty. And she was very pretty. With dark brown, nearly black hair and deep chocolate eyes, she matched her son for coloring, but that wasn't it. Ash had obviously gotten his eyes from the petite woman, and something he couldn't place that made him think of Ash. Then he realized that it was the woman's smile. It was just like his friend's. Xander had an idea that he would like this lady.
"And who is this handsome stranger you've brought to us?" Mrs. Williams asked, her gaze settling on Xander, "Trying to set him up with Elena? I think she'll like him...looks like fun to me..."
Ash put his mother down, taking enjoyment at Xander's completely shocked look and then shook his head. "No, Mom. This is Xander, my best friend. He and I share an apartment. Xander, this is my mom, Alexis Williams. Mom, Xander Harris."
Mrs. Williams' gaze turned curious. "Isn't he a bit young? You aren't corrupting the young man, are you, Ashley?"
"Trust me," Xander assured his best friend's mother, "his apartment is much better than where I was before."
"What do you-" She stopped herself, and her attitude changed completely into deep embarrassment, "To think! I'm interrogating you, and I haven't even brought you into the house!" The little woman looked a little flustered, but not to the pathetic point. "Come in! I've left your room for you, and Mortimer can set up another bed in there for your friend."
Her attention shifted, and then she shouted towards the house, "MORTIMER! ASHLEY'S COME FOR A VISIT! AND HE BROUGHT A FRIEND!"
Xander noticed that her voice had a unique piercing quality, one that the young Keeper had come to know from Ash. It was the sort of voice that told you things, instead of suggesting them.
He didn't have any time to think of it further since he was then pulled forcefully by his arm into the house, along with Ash. The two Keepers were released as soon as they hit the living room, where three other people were sitting. Xander blinked confusedly, trying to figure out what to do. He hadn't been in any unfamiliar house for quite a while, and he didn't know if he should sit, or stand or what.
Meanwhile, one of the men on the couch, a shorter, older version of Ash with light brown hair, got up and pulled the elder Keeper into a bear hug.
"It's good to see you, little brother!" The man said loudly in a pleasant voice, "Been a while. Where you been? What've you been doing? And what happened to your face?"
Ash did admirably well in the face of that many questions, quickly responding, "Sunnydale, California. Working. It's a long story."
The other stared at him curiously, blinked, and then laughed. "Well, you have got to tell me! Must be interesting to have messed up your face that bad..."
There was silence, then the man turned to look at Xander.
"Who's that? Did you bring him for Elena?"
Ash disengaged from his relation, and then shook his head adamantly. "Xander, meet my brother, James. James, this is Xander. And why does everyone think I brought him for Elena?"
James shrugged, then sat down to make room for the two girls on the couch to jump up and hug the S-Mart employee.
"Oh, Ash, we're so glad to see you!" said the dark brunette. She looked like a taller, younger version of her mother, with perhaps a little more of her brother's looks, "Why haven't you come around?"
"Yeah, Uncle Ashley!" Cried the other, who was blonde but unmistakably the other's daughter. Xander had a feeling this was Elena. "Why haven't you come to see us!"
Ash hugged them both, kissing each on the cheek soundly as he laughed. "I'm sorry to have so badly forgotten my favorite sister and her lovely daughter! Don't kill me too many times..."
"Only twice..." said the older one.
"Maybe three times if you don't apologize again." Said the younger.
The two of them hugged Ash a little harder, to which he responded by gasping about how he couldn't breath. Xander was close to laughing. Ash was so different. He was so...happy. Carefree. Wholesome looking, despite the scars. Xander had never seen him like this. He'd seen glimpses every once in a while, when he and Ash were alone and playing card games or Monopoly. But not like this. It made Xander glad they had stopped, but also a little lonely. He wished he could have a family like that. A family that loved him and would actually be glad to see him. The closest thing he had to that was Ash, but right now he was feeling very alone.
"Debra, Elena, this is Xander..." Ash said at last, pulling his best friend over to the little group hug. "Xander Harris, this is my sister Debra, and her daughter Elena."
Debra pulled away from Ash and held her hand out for a sensible handshake. Xander put his hand in hers, and she promptly shook it. Then Xander turned to Elena.
The blonde was staring at him with very scantily hidden infatuation, and held her hand out daintily. She was obviously hoping he would hold it to his lips and kiss it, but Xander already had a girlfriend. More importantly, he had a girlfriend who he loved more than life. And even more importantly, that girlfriend could beat him badly. So Xander just pretended he hadn't noticed her stare and shook her hand. Deep in his gut, he knew that Elena was going to get him in trouble with someone.
"Well, that's just about the whole Williams clan..." Ash said at last, his breath a bit wild from holding off the two females, "Except for Dad. DAD!?"
As the shout left Ash's lips, Mortimer Williams walked in. He was tall, with broad shoulders and muscles he had managed to keep even at his age. His face was like Ash's: very handsome, but rather heavy in the jaw. At his temples, Mortimer's black hair was interrupted by two streaks of silver. His eyes were different from his son's; a bit more square, and they were a light blue-green color that made Xander think of the ocean. The young Keeper couldn't even begin to guess this man's age.
"Good to see you, Ashley," the man said in a deep, smooth voice that only slightly crackled with age, "Haven't been by in a while. Good timing, son. Jim and Debby stopped by today, and we were going to have dinner together at the Red Lobster. The one in Novi? Would you and your friend like to come?"
As he asked, Mortimer's gaze went from his son to Xander. The older Williams seemed to be sizing him up, deciding if he was a good kid, or some little punk Ash had found. He grunted slightly in a positive way, and then turned back to Ash.
"Looks like a nice kid...what's his name?"
"Alexander Harris. He and I hooked up a few months ago. He's been living with me for a while."
"But not in a gay way." Xander assured his friend's father, "And please call me Xander."
The old man seemed to think this over for a second, and his expression turned pensive. Xander got scared when he did this. He really didn't want Ash's dad to hate him. He had his own dad to do that, and he really didn't want to have any trouble with Ash or his family. But his fears were put aside when Mortimer Williams' face broke out into the grin he knew so well, and he pulled the young Keeper into a bear hug.
"Any friend of Ashley's is a friend of ours!"
"Good, cause otherwise I'd really be scared about the fact that I can't breath at the moment..." Xander said, straining to breath. Apparently, Ash didn't get all his strength from his Keeper-ness.
Mortimer laughed again, then released the young Keeper.
"So, what do you say...Red Lobster?"
"Sure." Ash replied, "Xander, Red Lobster?"
"Sure. Food is good."
A few minutes later, the entire Williams family was packed into Mr. Williams' van and off to the local Red Lobster. Mortimer and Alexis were in the front seats, while Ash and his brother James took the seats behind them. Xander, Elena, and Debra were in the back, the young Keeper unfortunately right next to his best friend's infatuated niece, who took every opportunity to squeeze up next to him as the van turned. It wasn't that she was ugly. In fact, she was beautiful, her long blonde hair shimmering in the fleeting streetlights, illuminating her very pretty face. It was just that he was already in love, had
been for years, with Buffy Summers, and only Buffy Summers. And he knew that. There was no attraction whatsoever (okay, it took a thought or two of what Buffy would do to him to make it none whatsoever) to this girl who was so obviously trying to flirt with him. Unfortunately, he didn't have the slightest idea how to get her to lay off without insulting Ash or his family. He was so screwed.
But, he thought with a mental sigh, at least she was talking with him. The rest of the family, Ash included, seemed to have forgotten him as they shared old memories and laughed at jokes that had obviously been told at least a hundred times in that crowd. It
wasn't as if they were deliberately ignoring him; Xander knew his friend was just glad to see his folks again, which was perfectly understandable. However, he didn't have to like it all that much. Luckily for him, the trip was pretty short, and within a few minutes the van was pulling into a parking spot right outside of the restaurant. Everyone got out (Elena took a minute of pushing gently against him, but finally did exit the vehicle) and walked over.
However, feeling a bit lonely, Xander lagged behind. Even Ash's niece had joined the group, leaving the young Keeper all by himself as he walked through the parking lot towards the Red Lobster. But just as he was about to hit the sidewalk, Mrs. Williams came over to him.
"Don't be upset, Xander," she said gently, "he's just excited to see all of his family again. He hasn't seen us for three years, and his brother and sister for five. He's missed us, and we've missed him, so of course he's a little occupied with us."
"I know, I don't have a-"
Alexis Williams' eyes narrowed as she looked directly at the young man's face, her gaze similar to the one her son used upon the evil dead. "Don't try to bullshit a bullshit artist."
Xander's eyes widened as he heard the gruff words come from between his best friend's mother's lips. He didn't say a word.
"I know it was bothering you, honey. I could see it in your eyes." Mrs. Williams continued, "But you oughta know that he really cares about you, kid...he cares about you like a son. I saw it in his eyes the second you came, and I see it every time he looks at you. You're his friend; you mean the world to him.
"He hasn't been the same since Linda disappeared, you know...she was his love, his joy, his reason for living, and without her, he was just lost. Lonely. And I felt so bad for my boy, that I couldn't help him. It took him two years before he would come and see us, so that we could talk to him, and when we finally did see him, he was...well, he was hurting..."
"I know all about Linda." Xander told her, trying to stop the speech he knew was coming despite his interest in his friend's past.
"Well," Ash's mother replied, "You mean as much to him as she did, maybe even more...now, I don't know what your story is, or how you met him-"
"S-Mart..." the young Keeper supplied, "I met him at the local S-Mart when I went to get some gum. As for my story, that's a bit personal..."
"Personal, shmersonal!" Mrs. Williams cried, "You're family!"
Xander's eyes flashed in confusion as she said it. "What?"
She seemed to do something close to a shrug, and then told him, "If my boy cares about you that much, then you're family, got it? You can call me Mom..."
"I don't really-" Xander started, and then stopped himself. Why was he protesting so much? He'd always wanted to have someone to call Mom (his own mother having asked him never to call...ever), and now he was being dumb over pride and silliness. Besides, even though they had just met, Xander really liked Mrs. Williams.
"Okay, Mom..." he said with a fake sigh, which was belied by the large grin on his face. Mrs. Williams answered his grin with a smile of her own, and then put her arm around his shoulders. He was much taller than her, so it was difficult, but Ash's mother pulled it off still looking dignified.
"Much better..." Mrs. Williams said loudly, still grinning at him. She nodded to him, and they began to walk the rest of the way, until Xander stopped her short right in front of the door.
"What is it, honey?" she asked, her upturned face full of concern for her new "adopted" child.
Xander didn't say a word, but gently lifted her arm off of him. He seemed to be looking around for something, his head cocked at an odd angle, and then he turned to Mrs. Williams.
"Go in, now..." Xander told her quietly, looking into her eyes to get the message across. She looked about to argue, but something in his expression and his actions must have told her to do as he asked, and a second later Mrs. Williams walked into the Red Lobster.
The Keeper watched as his friend's mother disappeared into the restaurant, and then turned his attention to the alley next-door. His senses had picked up something, or rather two somethings, that disturbed him, both of which being dark red to his senses. Deep down, he knew what they were, but he really didn't want to think of it. He didn't even want to consider it at all. But he did have to investigate.
Moving quietly, Xander made his way to the edge of the alley, and then peeked around the corner. He was rewarded with a view of several garbage cans, a dumpster, a popped tire, and exactly what he didn't want to see.
Two vampires, their faces ridged and grotesque in the streetlight, sat upon the tire and one of the garbage cans, and they were talking. Their backs were hunched in the way that made you think of sharing a secret, and their eyes darted around the alley. They had paused as he had walked over, but after assuring themselves that there was no danger, they started again.
"Those Californians think they're hot shit..." grumbled the one who was sitting on the tire.
"Well, they do live on the Hellmouth..." the other said, "With the Slayer. Must be tough. And besides, those three aren't that bad. Not nearly as bad as those folks from Grand Rapids..."
"Not that bad! They were telling Jason how he should run things, even the big feast!"
Xander blinked in surprise. Feast? That couldn't be good...
"So it's tonight, right, Frank?" the one said, his eagerness easily heard.
"Yes, tonight, Evan..." the other told him angrily, "Don't you ever listen to what Jason says? He told us a few hours ago! All about it, and how this was his ticket to big city leadership! I mean, I can remember his words exactly: 'Gather at the Church in Franklin at 9:00 to begin the town assault...' Jeez, what's wrong with you?"
"I was busy!" the other, Evan, hissed. Then he continued to defend his intelligence.
But Xander wasn't listening any more. He was in shock. If what these two morons said was right, there was going to be an attack on Ash's hometown. Tonight. And no one had the slightest clue about it. Unlike Sunnydale, Franklin didn't have a Slayer to keep up with this stuff, and apparently, the local vampire leader had decided to invite a few friends for a smorgasbord. Xander wondered why they had picked this spot, but that question was erased as he realized that getting a solution was more important.
He walked slowly away from the alley, and back to the restaurant, where he found the Williams' table quickly. Everyone was busy picking their meal, but all eyes turned to him as he came over. He sat in the empty seat next to Ash, looking as if he hadn't heard
a thing about nasty vampire attacks, and smiled at everyone. Mrs. Williams smiled back, but had a question in her eyes.
"Bathroom" Xander explained, grinning sheepishly.
She obviously didn't truly accept the answer, but she nodded nonetheless, and returned to her menu along with the others. Xander took this opportunity to ask Ash something that had been bothering him for a while.
"Do they know?" He whispered, trying to do it as inconspicuously as he could.
"Know what, kid?"
"What you are? What happened to you, and Linda? Being a Keeper? You know, that stuff?"
Ash pulled his eyes from his menu, and turned to Xander. "Of course not! You think I'd tell my mother that I decapitated, then chainsawed her future daughter-in-law! Not to mention the rest!"
"I don't know!" Xander hissed back, "But you're going to have to tell her, tell them all soon, as in tonight..."
"Why?" Ash asked. Anybody else would have thought the kid was threatening him, but not Ash. They were far too close for it to have even crossed his mind. But, if the kid wasn't threatening him, why was he...
"There are a bunch of vampires...I don't know how many, but it will be a lot if what I heard is right..."
He really didn't want to say it.
"What, Xander?!"
The young Keeper sighed and then whispered, "That are planning to make your town an all-you-can-eat buffet tonight at 9..."
Ash looked at his watch. It said 6:32. "Shit."
Xander rolled his eyes and asked sarcastically, "Is that 'shit, we're in trouble?' or 'this shit is not fair?'"
Ash gave his best friend a death glare, and then settled down behind his menu to think. Xander did the same. It took a few moments, but then they turned to one another with the same idea, even if Ash didn't want to admit it.
"We're gonna need some help, Ash," his younger friend said with an odd look in his eyes, "We're not in Sunnydale this time. We can't pull that duo crap here..."
"I know that!" Ash said, aggravated at the choices he was going to have to make.
"And we don't know how many there are..."
The S-Mart employee didn't answer this time. He was busy thinking unpleasant thoughts. So it took him a few seconds to notice how Xander was looking at the other people at the table. Ash turned sharply to look at the other man.
"Oh no" Ash hissed, his face rigid with anger, "You had better not be thinking what I think you're thinking..."
"What do you mean?" Xander replied, his voice frustrated but low, "We need secrecy and help, and it IS their home!"
"I am NOT going to get my family involved in this crap!" Ash cried far too loudly, "No way! And for-"
"Not going to get us involved in what, Ashley?" Mrs. Williams' asked slowly, her voice carrying a sharp edge barely concealed by a pleasant lilt.
The eldest Keeper turned to face his mother slowly, all his body language screaming submission and nervousness. It was so odd; Xander had never seen his partner like that. Then again, he had never seen anyone with quite the 'presence' of Ash's mother ticked off at him. The young man wished to God that he never had such a look or tone directed at him.
"Nothing, Mom..." Ash answered with a rather fake chuckle, "Nothing to worry about..."
At his words, Mrs. Williams' seemed to go stiff. A few people looked over. "'Nothing to worry about'?" she said icily, obviously pulling up some old, pent up frustration, "'Nothing to worry about'?"
"Yeah, Mom, it's nothing..." Ash told her quietly.
Jim seemed about to get up and do something about the situation, but Mrs. Williams' shot him the patented Williams' death glare. He sat down quickly.
"I don't like it when you lie to me, Ashley," she said, standing up straight, "Didn't like it the last time you visited, and I don't like it now."
"What do you mean, Mom?"
"I mean," she said, her voice hard and pointed, "That bull-crap you feed everyone of us about what happened five years ago..."
Oh shit, thought Xander. Just like a mother. Wait for the worst possible moment to bring stuff up, and then make a public scene of it. Hope he doesn't expect me to do anything about it...
"What" he swallowed, "crap, Mom?"
"That crap about the lawnmower!" Mrs. Williams spat out heatedly, causing a few more people to look over, "You don't lose your hand like that from a lawnmower! And the fact that your Uncle claims you never even GOT to his house? How could Linda leave you there if you never got there!? And where exactly did she go? Why? And all those scars? And that attack at your job a couple years ago? You've NEVER been able to lie to me, and you didn't suddenly gain the ability back then! I knew it was shit! But I figured you'd tell us in time! But no! You didn't! And now your trying to lie to me AND your father again!"
At being mentioned, Mortimer Williams got up from his chair and put his large, rough hand upon his wife's small shoulder. The petite woman seemed to calm at his touch, but by no means lost any of her fire. Xander could still see it in her eyes; it was the same fire that his partner got when they were fighting. That I-won't-give-up righteous anger.
"Let's head home..." the eldest Williams suggested, giving a nod of his head to the others at the table. They seemed to wake up as he did, and each gave Ash sympathetic looks. He had asked for it, but no one who knew what it was like delighted in seeing another person at the end of Alexis Williams' fury.
Silently, everyone got up and walked to the van. Mrs. Williams' steps were slow and angry, Mr. Williams' calming and relaxed. Debra and Jim were both in that quiet 'hope-she-doesn't-start-on-me" mode that most people with siblings learn to avoid trouble, while Elena stuck close to Xander, obviously thinking that the outsider would remain okay, and proximity to him would help her stay out of trouble. That, and she WANTED to remain close to him. Xander just tried to walk without tripping over her.
They all got in the van, and drove back to the house. There was no conversation except for some excited murmuring from the front seat between Mr. And Mrs. Williams. Xander, who had finally managed to get a seat away from Elena, looked over to his partner.
He looked absolutely lost. The elder Keeper seemed to radiate gloominess with his head in his hand and glove. He appeared to want to die right on the spot. His mother was mad at him on his first visit back in three years over something that he'd lied about to protect them. Now, he'd have to tell them and they'd either get sucked in his insane world (which could lead to them dying) or they could think him crazy (which could, considering the vampire attack tonight, lead to them dying). All in all, it sucked.
When they finally got home, it was about 7:00, and the van was unloaded just as silently as it had been entered. Everyone walked quietly to the house, took off their light coats, and put them on the banister, then took their spots in the living room. Only then did Mrs. Williams speak.
"Now, I want the truth, Ashley. The whole, unadulterated, unedited truth, understand?"
Ash, who had been sitting on the end of the couch with his head between his knees, looked up to his mother, then to Xander, who was right next to him.
"Would you help me out, kid?" he asked with a small grin, "Verify all this so they don't thinking I'm crazy?"
Xander nodded, then both of them got up. Ash took the center floor and Xander stood besides him. Then they smiled at one another once, just for a little support, and then Ash started.
"Now this is not a joke, not a trick, and certainly NOT a lie." The elder Keeper told his family, "It all started when me and Linda were headed to Uncle's cabin. We got lost and went to the wrong cabin. We figured out quickly that this wasn't the right cabin, but it was getting dark, and no one was there, so we just stayed. God, I wish we had left. But we didn't, and instead of leaving, I went to go pull out some champagne to salvage the evening. On my way, I found a tape recorder. And I played it. And a man's voice started to speak in an odd language."
Ash paused for a moment, obviously thinking about that night in more detail then he was telling. The necklace, the piano, the damn tape...
"Then my life was shot to hell..."
**
"So when the book landed, me and Xander decided we had to go get it. As far as we know, it's somewhere northeast, probably in the Toronto area. I stopped here cause you're on the way..." Ash finished, "Right, kid?"
"Right" Xander replied, verifying Ash's entire story with one word.
"And that's about it..." the S-mart man ended, "So which version do you like better?"
The Williams simply sat there in shock, leaving the room quite, which Ash and Xander liked. Neither of them, for the most part, had liked enjoyed the insanity that was their past, and the looks from Ash's family hadn't helped either of them feel any better about it.
Finally, Mrs. Williams got up, and with a small nervous chuckle asked, "So, what did you say happened with that lawnmower, dear?"
And that one comment sent everyone in the room, including Ash and Xander, into insane laughter. Each and every one of them giggled maniacally, and Xander even fell off the couch, as they got rid of the stress and nervousness from their systems. It wasn't laughter at what had been told. It was closer to joyous laughter that the two men had made it through all the insanity alive. But after a minute, the laughter died, and everyone was quiet again.
"And all this is true?" Mr. Williams asked then, interrupting the silence, "The entire thing? You really were forced to decapitate Linda, cut off your hand, kill a bunch of, er...um...what was that word again, son?"
"Deadites, dad..."
"Yeah, deadites, and then you were sucked into a portal that brought you into Medieval Europe?"
"Got it in one, Mr. Williams..." Xander replied.
The eldest Williams looked at the young man who had answered him and smiled, then looked to his son.
"Yeah, Dad...it all happened..." Ash responded.
Mr. Williams nodded, and then put his head down for a moment. He seemed to be absorbing the entire story bit by bit, and then, out of nowhere, he jumped up and embraced his son.
"I'm so proud of you!" He cried, pulling Ash into a bear hug in which he could barely breath "You survived when all those other assholes would have just rolled over and died! You fought a demon inside you and you won! You lead an army! You used the brains God gave you and did something with them for once! I'm so proud of you son!"
Before Ash could even think of a reply to this, his mother jumped up and began to shout the same sort of things, all the while hugging him closely. She pulled Xander into the group hug, and then Jim, Debra, and Elena joined in as well (though Elena was into hugging Xander a little more than he would have liked). They stayed like that for a while, until everyone needed to come up for air and get a little space. When everyone was separated and back in their places, Ash, his face red and his hair tousled, smiled at them all.
"Well that was unexpected..." Xander said sarcastically, grinning at his best friend, "Goodness knows my parents wouldn't take such news as well..."
"That's my family!" Ash shouted with pride. Then his face went sober. "But we have no time to goof around..."
Xander blinked, then tapped his forehead dramatically, "Oh yeah, the whole vampires-are-attacking-the-town thing! You see, this kind of thing is why YOU are the Master..."
"But not the brains of the operation! You're the one going to college..."
"Attacking the town?" Jim asked around their conversation, his humor entirely gone in an instant, "As in, Franklin?"
"Damn, your family's good at this...they're a regular Scooby gang..." the young Keeper said with a smile.
Ash mussed his hair affectionately, then told him to shut up. "We haven't got time for chatter...we have got to get a plan here...I say we-"
"What facts do we have at the moment?" Mrs. Williams broke in, her face calm and cool.
Ash looked up to his mother, seemingly annoyed, but when he saw the expression on her face, he told her, "We have an indeterminate amount of vampires who are going to attack the city at 9 pm, which is roughly an hour from now, and they will be starting their assault from the old Church..."
Mrs. Williams didn't say a word to Ash, who, along with Xander, was staring at her in awe and confusion. Instead, she turned around to her daughter, and said, "Go get the map you had to draw in third grade. It's hanging in a frame in the hallway of the second floor."
Debra nodded, then did as she was asked. As soon as she was gone, Mrs. Williams turned around to see the stunned looks of Ash and Xander.
"What?" Alexis Williams asked with a wide grin, "You think that the mother of three children doesn't know how to plan things? Or keep her calm in a highly volatile situation?"
"No, Mom..." The two Keepers said in unison.
"Good," she said, with a determined look on her face, "Then let's get cracking. You two said that you aren't as strong as you are on the Hellmouth. How much weaker are you here?"
"Well, where as we could kill twenty vampires with ease before..." Ash started.
"We can kill around ten of them with ease now." Xander finished.
"Okay..." Mrs. Williams said, obviously filing the knowledge, "Then we are going to have to figure out a way to keep everyone in town inside their houses..."
"Huh?"
"Well," she reasoned, "Vampires can't go into a house when they haven't been invited into. So all we have to do is make sure everyone stays inside and the vampires can't get them...I know, I'll call everyone up and tell them that they're spraying for that West Nile virus! That way, no one will go out, and no one will let people into their homes!"
"Brilliant, Mom!" Ash cried in joy, then he deflated, "One problem..."
"What?" asked Jim, who thought it was a marvelous plan.
"We still have to kill every single one of them..."
"Why?" His brother asked, standing up to face Ash. It didn't work all that well because Jim was only as tall as Ash's shoulders.
"Because..." the Master Keeper explained, as if talking to a child, "If we don't kill them, they'll just come back, and this time you won't have us!"
"Oh..." Jim said, backing down.
"Then we'll just have to add to Mrs. Williams superb plan..." Xander said, his eyes alight with many ideas that were running through his head, "Do any of you have any hand to hand fighting knowledge? Weapons training?"
"I have both..." Mr. Williams informed them, "Several years in the navy..."
"Any knife fighting?" the young man asked.
"You learn things..." the eldest Williams said with a small grin, "Yeah, I can use a blade..."
"Good, then you'll do fine with a stake..." Xander answered, tossing him one of the ones he kept on his person at all times, "Jim, what about you?"
"I can shoot, if that's what you mean..." Ash's brother said with a small frown, "But if it's vampires-"
"As a wise man once told me," the young Keeper said with a smile at his best friend, "there aren't many things that can survive shotgun decapitation...luckily, vampires can't."
"All right then."
"And the wood-tipped bullets I made special ought to do the trick too..."
"What about Debra?" Xander asked Jim, his eyes going to where the young woman had disappeared.
"Served in the Army for two years..." Ash's brother answered, "She's a better shot than I am!"
"Good..."
"Mom?" Ash asked, almost afraid of what he might hear.
"I know some judo, but I don't think it would help against vampires..." Mrs. Williams said with a thoughtful nod, "I should stay at home with Elena and keep up radio contact with all of you. Coordinate the lot. You will be going into fighting groups to pick off the vampires, am I right?"
No one answered her. Xander turned to Ash. "Your mother is amazing..."
"Yeah, I know..."
It was at this point that Debra returned with the map. "Here you go, Mom. The city of Franklin, as mapped by Debra Louise Williams in fine Crayola..."
"Good dear..." Mrs. Williams answered distractedly, "Now let's plan out the attack..."
"All right..." Xander said, taking charge on this front. Weapons were his specialty, especially when it came to all the special materials he himself had designed to kill vampires, "Mr. Williams, you said you can you use a knife?"
"As well as the next man, as I said before..." the elder Williams told him, "Well enough to kill something..."
"Sorry...this has me a little discombobulated...but that's good." Xander replied, pulling out three stakes from various areas on his person, "Then take these...and a cross..."
"Oh, we have plenty of those in the house, don't you worry about that." Mortimer Williams said with a smile, "And if you need some holy water, I'm you're man..."
"Huh?" the young Keeper asked in obvious confusion. What was Ash's dad talking about? Though, come to think of it, they were low on holy water. Ash explained a minute later.
"Dad's a pastor..." the deadite slayer said tiredly, waiting for the expected jokes from Xander about what his father, the pastor, would think about certain things. But for once, his young friend let him be. Ash thanked whoever was listening.
"Well, that ought to make our job easier then..." Xander said at last, "You can bless whole buckets, right?"
"Yup..." Mr. Williams (also known as Pastor Williams) said with a grin on his face, "And we can dump it on those damned suckers till their eyeballs fry!"
Xander's eyes opened wide at the rough statement.
"Well," Mortimer Williams said, "I'm a pastor. We thwart evil and it's wiles. Vampires are evil. To quote a favorite book of mine, 'you see a wile, you thwart'...it'll be nice to do it physically for once..."
"Okay then..." the Apprentice Keeper said carefully, "How about you, Debra? Jim mentioned military experience?"
"Yeah, Xand..." Ash's sister replied, "I was in the Army a couple years. I'm a good shot with a rifle, and not bad with a handgun...will that help?"
Xander smiled that mischievous smile he sometimes got, then gave her the 'one minute' finger signal and left the room. A few seconds later he came back with a large bag of equipment, and the first thing he pulled out was a double-barreled shotgun.
"How about this?" he asked, holding the gun up to her for her approval, "Think you can shoot the necks off of these bastards from a decent distance?"
"Yes, sir..." Debra answered with a small salute. Then she blushed. "Don't mind me..."
Xander smiled back at her. "I know the feeling..."
"Huh?"
"I was a fully trained Green Beret for a night...long, strange story. The training stuck, and now every once in a while, I get an urge to salute..." Xander admitted in a whisper, "But don't tell your brother or he'll ask me to do it to him!"
"I won't say anything..." Debra promised with a grin, "and yes, I should be able to use that with some accuracy."
Without another word, Xander nodded, then gave her the gun. A second later, he pulled out a few stakes, a small flask of holy water, and some shots. She took them without a word as well, then moved aside for the young man to hand some more weapons to the others.
"Jim?"
"Yeah."
"You get the rifle with the wood shots, a couple of stakes, and one of the 'shooters'..."
The man who looked so much like Xander's best friend got a nonplussed expression on his face.
"The whats?"
"Shooters..." Xander repeated, pulling out the other items from the bag and handing them to him, "Specially made by me. They attach to your arm..."
As he said it, the young Keeper revealed to the world in general his newest piece of vampire-fighting technology. It looked like something from a science fiction story, but the small points from the stakes hidden with it were far too real for it to be dismissed as a toy. He put it on his wrist to demonstrate.
"This..." he said with pride in his voice, "is a shooter. A spring action stake shooter that can hold up to twelve decent sized stakes. It's accurate to 20 yards, and all you have to do to shoot it is to squeeze the internal trigger, which is right here..."
As he said it, Xander pointed to a part of the underbelly of the piece of work.
"You're going to get one of these..." Xander said, taking it off and handing it to Jim, "As are myself and Ash, though his is specially made for his hand attachment..."
Two more of the odd weapons left the bag, each one going on the arm of a Keeper. Ash looked at his with pride and a gleam in his eyes, but for some reason he seemed to be holding something in.
"Oh, just say it, buddy..."
"Groovy..." Ash said at last, a huge smiling on his face. The rest of the family watched the little scene in confusion, then shrugged it off as one of the many things they would never understand about this pair.
"So let's go!"
"Not so fast, kid..." Ash said, restraining Xander with a look, "We need to plan this out a little, have Dad bless some...oh my God, that's it!"
"Ashley...I thought I told you not to take the Lord's name in vain!" Mrs. Williams shouted.
"Aw Christ, Mom...I'm-" Ash started before he realized just what he had said, "Oh, Je-"
"I think your foot is somewhere in the region of your pancreas at this point, buddy..." Xander chuckled as he watched his friend struggle with keeping his mouth clean. Normally, he'd be swearing up a storm about the vampires. But you just don't do that in front of your mother.
"Thank you, Alexander..." Ash's mother said with a smile to her newly adopted 'grandson' so to speak.
"I love you too, Mom..." the Master Keeper said sarcastically. She whacked him on the nose with the walkie talkie, much to his surprise.
"Don't be snippy with your coordinator!"
"Mom!" Ash whined, sounding nothing like the powerful Keeper that he was, "I've got an image! And I can't keep that image with you whacking me on the nose...I mean, I have to keep my macho-crap license!"
This set Xander into giggles, and confused Mrs. Williams to no end. "What are you-"
"Don't worry, Mom...old joke...but now I forgot my idea!"
The mother and son shared a smile, and then everyone went back to the business of preparing for the attack. Ash forgot the idea. While they were doing this, Xander looked up for a moment and asked Ash.
"Hey, what happened to Cheryl?"
Everyone in the room looked toward Xander as if he had a second head.
"What about Cherry?" Deborah, "She lives in Toronto with her husband Jake."
"Yeah, what were you expecting?" Ash asked.
Xander blushed. "I don't know...it just seems as if everyone is here, and she's not, and you never told me where she was."
Jim, Mortimer, Alexis, Deborah, and Ash just stared at Xander.
"Don't mind me..."
And no one did. Then Xander looked up again.
"Hey, I have an idea!"
Again, the entire population of the living room stared at the young Keeper.
"Yes?" Ash asked, hoping that whatever came out of his mouth was something relevant and intelligent. He seemed to be slipping from that sort since school had ended.
"Mr. Williams can bless water and make it holy water, right?"
Everyone nodded.
"Well, how long would it take to do that?"
Everyone looked to Mortimer, who scratched his chin thoughtfully. "A few seconds...why?"
As he heard this, Xander put his head down and began to murmur to himself. Ash had seen that before. He'd seen it on their first encounter with vampires. It was Xander's I'm-planning-something-good face, and the sight of it made Ash feel a lot better.
"If you blessed, say...a cross, or a hose..." the young man asked slowly, "Would the water, having touched them, be holy?"
"Yeah, sure..." Mr. Williams answered, wondering where the boy was going with this.
"And how many fire hydrants are there in the main square?"
The wheels began to turn in all of their heads, and Jim answered with a smile. "Four. They put in four because of the big fire we had ten years ago in the square. It spread, and the one hydrant wasn't enough. So now there are four hydrants in the square..."
"That we could open up, bless, and spray all the vampires with instead of fighting the whole bunch..." Ashley finished with a great big grin on his face. And the kid came through again! He ran over and hugged the young man he had come to think of as a son.
"Good job, kid..." he said, "Less chance for injury, maximum effect...this earned you at least three KFC dinners on me..."
"Really?" Xander asked, his eyes opened wide in delight. What that boy wouldn't do for food, Ash thought.
"Yeah, kid... really..."
The two of them smiled at each other, but Jim interrupted the little moment.
"But how do we get all the vampires into the square?"
The Keepers grinned at each other and all assembled.
"We round em up with our toys!"