Despair

Author: Natacha AKA Tashataz
Rating: NC-17 (MA) - Coarse Language and violence
Fandom: Runing scared
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to the movie. The characters that are from the movies do not belong to me nor do I claim to own them. I am only using them for entertainment purpose.

Pairing: None
Archive: Only at Authors Sanctuary (.com)

Summary: How did Teresa die? How did Joey feel? How did he get where he is in "Time Will Tell" and "Believe"? Answers written below!

Everyone was gone, I was finally alone. People giving me their condolences, telling me how much they will miss her or how she was so special. Fuck them! They didn't know her; know her like I knew her. She stood by me, through thick and thin and believe me there was a lot of ups and downs.

I look up at the Jesus statue in front of me and I swear he is looking right at me. Ha…until I stepped foot in this church he never knew I existed.

Her coffin was lined with a white satin. I chose it, not sure exactly what she would've wanted. But went with white since, you really can't go wrong with that color. If she doesn't like it, well, I encourage her to come back and kick my ass. I smirk, cause I know she would if she could. Crazy Teresa. My Teresa!

I look around the small showing room and wonder how many people have been in here. Dead ones that is. My focus on my thoughts never let me hear the girl walking towards me.

"Joey?" Came a sweet voice behind me.

I turn around and there standing in her black dress, the girl that resembled Teresa so much. "Hey, Maria. Come here." I moved over and let her sit beside me. Her eyes were the same greyish blue that Teresa had. Her skin just as creamy white like Teresa. Man she would grow up to break men's hearts, just like her sister. "How you holding up?"

"Umm…Ok, I guess. Momma is a wreck though. I can't believe she is gone Joe. What happened?" She asked innocently.

"What do you mean? You know what happened? She fell down the stairs." I lied. To afraid to tell her the truth. Afraid she would blame me. Fuck, she should blame me; all of this shit was my fault from the beginning.

"Oh please. I am not a child anymore. Tell me the truth." She turned her body to face him. Her arm rest on the back of her chair. She tucked her leg under her body. Her other hand rested on her lap. "I want to know."

"Maria, you are still a child and tha…" I looked at her eyes and knew she was indeed no longer a child. Sighing I turned to the front of the room. Looking at her coffin I shook my head. "You really want me to tell you what happened?"

She nodded her head and leaned forward. "Yes. I want to know."

I swallow the damn lump that is forming in my throat. "Ok. But, I am warning you. This is not a bed time story." I smiled at her, knowing she would get offended by that remark.

"Shut up Joey and tell me already." She smacked my arm.

"Ok!" I turned my body on the chair and faced her. I began to tell her my story. Every detail, every single detail.

I sat there watching my son's and wife eating their spaghetti. Man I loved her spaghetti sauce. We made idle chit chat about school and a future job I would be applying for. Now that I am in witness protection I get to lie about my work habits and work history. It is frowned upon if I mention the mob or the FBI. Go figure!

It was a quiet day just like all the others and I was actually happy that finally my life had calmed down and was looking brighter. If only my old crew could see me know. They would kill me! I chuckle every time I thought of them, and how they would react to all this. The famous Joey Gazelle, hiding in some small ass town.

"Joey, are you going to apply today?" T asked me as she twirled a heap of spaghetti with her fork and spoon.

"Today." I answered back. I don't know why she is asking me this again. Swear it's the 10th time today. I guess she thinks I will fuck around with my car again. Damn thing won't work and it's pissing me off.

"Oh then you can go to the store while your in town and bring back some groceries." She smiled at me.

How can I say no to that face? It was a man's demise. I don't know if women went to school to learn how to look at a man for him to do anything she wanted, but if they did, we men need to make one to learn how to defeat it.

My gaze went to my boys. Well one was really mine, Nick; he was the spitting image of his mother yet my attitude and temper. Gonna have to keep an eye out on him. Then there was Oleg. Poor kid had fucked up parents. His mother was a depressed whore living with a man who was ridiculously in love with John freakin' Wayne. Once they died, I took him in as my kid. He was cool, and kept Nick out of trouble.

"Joey?" She called again to him.

"Ya, ya. Sure, give me the list." I agreed. I continued to have my dinner as I listened to my boys talking about hockey and the new goalie that was signed into their team.

I heard a crack, my head shot up. Teresa's head was in the way. I moved left, nothing. Moved right, nothing. The hallway behind her was empty. I lowered my head again to continue eating when I heard another crack and a gun load. My blood ran cold.

"GET DOWN!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

All three faces went white with panic and everyone dropped to the ground when the first bang was heard. "GO HIDE!!!" I yelled above the thunder of gun fire.

I crawled as fast as I could to where I hide my guns. Removing a rotten floor board I grabbed both my smith & Wesson's and started shooting back. I stood up and ran to the couch in the living room. Jumped over it, grabbed the top of the couch and tipped it forward.

A million thoughts ran through my mind. My heart was pounding. Hate was filling my veins. "Mutherfucker…god damn mutherfuckers." I took a deep breath, got on my knees and peeked over the couch. I saw no one, but heard them re-loading their guns.

"TERESA, GET THE BOYS OUT!!" I yelled over the couch.

Bad move, they started firing right as I finished my sentence. "STOPPPP SHOOTING AT ME…FUUUCCCKKK!!!" I yelled at them. Raising my hands I fired my guns everywhere. Temporarily going insane. I wanted these fucks out of my house.

How did they find me? How could they find me? Nothing made sense. I was in witness protection, how could they?

A bullet went through the couch and clipped my shoulder. "Shit!" I cursed and moved further right. I saw the kitchen and I took off running towards it. Sliding under the table I tipped it over and hide behind it. I heard some gun shots upstairs and my head spun. "T???" I yelled.

"JOEY!!" I heard her yell back.

"Fuck!!" I grabbed a pan that had fallen to the ground. I used it as a mirror to see the fucks that were in my house.

One was walking slowly towards me, I readied my gun. Placed the nozzle on the top of the table and aimed as precise as I could. Pulled my trigger.

One down. Not sure how many to go yet.

I moved my pot around, trying to see if there was anyone else. I slowly got up and moved to the door frame. I moved the pot out of the door way and a bullet went right through it. "Shit." My hand hurt. The bullet made the pan vibrate causing pain to spread through my wrist like wild fire.

I moved the pan once again out of the door way and saw where the man was. I moved fast. Ran out raised my guns, fired, and dove to the ground behind the love seat in the living room.

I hit the floor hard. My breathing harsh, my heart racing with adrenalin. I listened carefully, trying to figure out if I hit the man or not. I was rewarded by a thud. "Fucker!" I stood up slowly and walked to him carefully. I watched the man chock on a mouth full of blood, his hand covering a blood soaked shirt over his heart. I raised my gun and pulled the trigger again.

Two down. More to go down!

I looked around the living room and saw no other threats. I ran up the stairs towards the first room at the top of the stairs. I leaned on the wall. "How many?" I asked.

"Two." I heard Oleg answer back.

I could tell from his voice where he was in the house. He was in the room next door, the bathroom. I smirked as I thought it was convent to be in times like this. Can say you shit in your pants, can you?

I took a deep breath, steadying my breathing. Concentrating on the sounds around me. I could hear heavy breathing outside my door. I gripped the handle of my guns and readied myself.

I sprang from my position and fired. The man fell to his knees holding his stomach. He looked up at me and frowned. Dropping his guns he fell forward and hit the floor with a loud thud.

"Hey fuck head. You're alone now. Your partners are dead. Come out and face death already. I have better shit to do with my time." I leaned on the wall and walked slowly towards my bedroom.

"Dad?"

I turned to Nick's room and saw him at the doorway. I raised my finger to my lips and waved him back inside the room.

"He is in there with mom." He mouthed as he backed up into the room.

I cursed an oath as I continued to walk to my bedroom. I could hear her crying, begging for him to let her go. My heart stopped beating, my blood ran cold again and I could swear a new type of rage took over my body.

I pushed the door open with my foot and listened.

"Hey Joey, want to see your wifey die?" A strong Russian accent asked.

"You fuckin' touch her I will torture you're fuckin' ass." I warned him.

I tried to sneak my head inside to see where they were exactly, but he shot at me the second he saw my hair pass the frame.

"You killed our boss. What you think we wouldn't find your dumb ass." He laughed as he said the words.

Fuckin' guy was pissing me off. "Hey fuck head, I did you a favour!" I answered back.

"Fuck you gazelle." He spat at me.

"Joey??" I heard her voice strained.

"Don't touch her!!" I yelled as I leaned against the wall. I concentrated on his voice to pin point where he was.

"How about this…"

"JJJOOOOEEYYY???" She yelled as I heard a gun shot.

"There, that shut her up!" He laughed.

I sprang into the room and fired at him. Unloaded my bullets all in him. Blood splattered everywhere, his body convulsing with each shot. He fell onto the bed and then slid to the ground.

I looked around and saw her body. On the bed, her body still, already starting to pale. "T?" I called to her. Dropping to my knees I crawled to her body. I dragged her to me and cradled her head in my hands. "T?" I called softly.

"Jo...Joe." she whispered as she opened her eyes. "I love you!"

"Baby I love you too. Stay with me ok? Keep your eyes open. Look at me. T?" I couldn't breath. Every breath I had in me escaped. I tried to think, tried to register what to do next. My brain was dead. My attention and focus on her and her only.

"Jo..." he voice was coarse. He eyes kept rolling back and closing. Her body shivering, her skin getting paler by the second.

"Nooo, Teresa, stay with me, please!!" Tears falling from my eyes. My heart felt as if it broke in two. As if someone ripped it out of my chest, took dull scissors and started cutting small pieces.

"Dad?"

My head spun to look at both boys looking at me. Nick waved something at me but I couldn't tell what it was. My tears impaired my vision.

"We need to take her to the hospital." He said as he walked to us.

"Ya…" I whispered as I looked down at her. Here eyes were close now, skin cold.

"Dad?" I felt his hand on my shoulder, but my mind shut off at that moment. I couldn't feel, hear, or smell anything. I was dead to the world as she was.

"Wow."

"That's all of it." I wiped the tears from my eyes. I looked at the coffin and sighed.

"What are you going to do now?" She asked as she looked up at me.

"Find the fuckers and kill every single one of them." I answered with all honesty.

"Where will you start?" She asked. Her questions innocent by to the point.

"New York." I answered as I looked down at her.

Her brows knitted together "New York?" She asked confused by my answer.

"Yeah, I can't do it alone. I need help, and in New York is where I will find it." I answered. I moved a loose strand of hair that had fallen from its place atop of her hair.

"Oh. Well…will you be back?" She asked.

"One day. Some day!" I smiled at her and hugged her to me.

We sat in silence once again and watched some people walk to Teresa's coffin to pay their last respect.

I knew my new mission and there was nothing that would stop me from getting my revenge from my despair.

Next step…New York!

The End.

To read "Time will tell" and "Believe" Come to Authors Sanctuary (.com)