Dark Thoughts

by Joey

NOTE: Okay I don't own any of the characters. I usually forget that. But um.. oh yeah, if you review and i REALLY hope you do, please tell me who's point of view this is written. Like do you think the character's Chandler. Joey, Monica Phoebe etc. Also, who do you think is the woman at the end? Thanks. I'm just curious. I didn't really have any particular character in mind and when I read it to my friend she instantly thought of someone else.

Have you ever felt like you were falling. Constantly falling with no end in sight? And as you fall you can see the world rushing by. Your friends, parents, co-workers faces flash by, arms reaching out as if to try and catch you, but it's all in vain, as you continue to fall. Past them. Pages from calendars rush by you, March, April, May, June... where has time gone. Everything seems to be speeding up.

When I started to fall it wasn't so bad. I fell slowly. I could see everything clearly and I know now that that was when I should've stopped. I could've stopped then. I know that now. I need help. I know that now. But help... such a small word, seemingly insignificant, but so hard to use. It should be simple. "Guys.. I need help." That's all I need to say, but I can't seem to get it out when I see them.

I think they know. I'm sure they know. How could they not? I'm the not the same. I haven't been the same for a long time. I can't even remember how or when... or where...... or even why it started. It just did. Everything came together at once, and that was it. The End! There was no more smiles after that. No jokes, no laughter and yet.... there weren't any tears either. It was if I had sunk down from being a human who feels to ... I can't even describe it. I don't... feel anymore. Nothing. No hate, love, anger, sadness, joy... nothing. I know I'm still here. But I can't find whatever it is that use to make me tick. It's just... dissappeared. Or maybe it's become locked up in my brain somewhere and something, some reason has caused it to be shut down, put behind lock and key.

I just want to be whole. It's not normal to be like I am. I know that. Hey.. I can see the bottom now. I'm landing. I'M LANDING!!! No... wait. Great. Things never get better do they. Now I'm stuck. It's up to my knees now. Quicksand, who would've thought of quicksand in New York. I'm sinking right now. But wait... I'm sinking slowly. Slowly. Maybe it's a sign. Like when I started falling. This is my chance to get out. But can I ask for that help? Can I get the word out?

There's a pill bottle next to me. I've just noticed it. Where did it come from? I don't remember seeing it. It looks so inviting. A bright yellow wrapper hiding the deadliness of what's inside. So happy, but then again that's what they could bring. Happiness. No, the thought makes me shake my head violently from side to side. I'll never let myself go that far. I made that promise to myself when I was little, why should I give it up now? I've managed to maintain it for years. Years. I angrily push the bottle. It falls off the table onto the floor, breaking open and scattering the pills everywhich way. I look at them in sadness. It's almost symbolic. They seem to be symbolizing my life. As I stare, mezmorized, the door opens and the rest of the gang walks in. They look at me, and then at the floor, they're eyes going back and forth between the two sights slowly, and all of them are in sync. I don't turn, I'm still staring at the pills.

A few seconds later my line of sight is interrupted. She's on the floor stuffing the pills back into the bottle. Tears are running down her face, but she tries to hide that from me. I watch as she grabs the pills. Four of them fall from her hand, creating a line. A straight line. I watch them slowly, and a fifth and then a six fall into place next to the four.

Suddenly, after what's felt like forever, a lifetime and more I smile. I look up at my friends and smile. The other four our now giving me scared looks. I stand up. "Guys," I take a deep breath. It's all become so clear now. I can do it. I know that I have to do it. "Guys, I need help."



Remember please review it and tell me who you think it is. Thanks.