Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Batman or Teen Titans, they belong to DC Comics.
Story Explanation: In this first chapter I've taken some liberties and thrown in a lot of the conversation from the Batman Animated Series episode "Robin Rising". The point of this is to tweak and twist it to fit the Teen Titans universe in an attempt to explain the events that led to the split up between the Dynamic Duo. So if a lot of it seems familiar, well kids that's why. Anyways enjoy.
The Value of Heroes
Chapter 1: Only A Mask
"That's all I have to report this month." Robin's voice said from the other end of the communicator. "Robin out."
Batman heard the device click shut and stared out at his city. Things were different now, and perhaps some words can never be taken back. They were both gargoyles these days, hardly saying anything to each other. Looking out over the black, macabre stone buildings that made up his kingdom Batman's memories floated back to years before mad men in costumes and issues of trust had changed things.
Before the shades of gray had seeped into his black and white world.
Half a life time ago when Dick was still mourning the death of his parents, Batman had thrown all other criminals to the wind and hunted one man alone.
-Gotham City-
(7 Years Ago...)
"I was so close, Alfred... I could smell his sweat. From now on Tony Zucco gets my undivided attention." The Dark Knight had explained to Alfred; justifying it just as much to his butler as to himself. To Batman this was a crusade, a chance to capture a monster who had destroyed a childhood so like his own.
"How fortunate for Zucco." The Englishman retorted his mustache furrowing in slight disgust as he cleared the silverware from his master's place mat. "Because there's a little boy upstairs who's just aching for some of that attention."
"I'm doing this for him." Batman said curtly.
"I'm sure revenge can be deliciously sweet; however at the moment what he needs is a friend." Alfred sighed trying to keep his voice gentlemanly in tone. Turning his back on his young master the butler stopped right before he could reach the stairs. Ever patient, ever the voice of reason the elderly man simply added, "Isn't that what you needed, sir?"
Moved by those words Batman decided then to reach out to the boy.
Dick Grayson had looked so small that night, lost in the shadow of such obvious grief. With bright blue eyes full of silent tears the child stared at the pale moon, unaware of Bruce's presence as the man silently entered.
Batman could only ache at the image that silhouetted his own past from so many years prior.
"Hey Dick how you doing?" Bruce asked cheerfully coming up behind him and sitting down on the window sill next to him.
"Fine." The child said quickly wiping his eyes. It was commendable for someone so young to hide his tears not out of foolish pride, but out of the simple want to not force his sorrow on others. Even though he was only a child Dick Grayson was something pretty rare to this world: someone with compassion.
"Sorry I haven't been around lately," Bruce apologized. "I forget how big and lonely this place can be."
"That's okay... I know you're busy." The boy said genuinely flashing the man a weak smile before dropping his gaze back to the floor.
He had remembered Bruce's face in the crowd of onlookers that had been at the circus the night his parents had fell. Just another paying customer, a stranger who had never so much as spoken to Dick before that night. And yet that same man had pulled him away from the swat cars and coroner's van, begging the commissioner to let the boy stay with him rather than have to risk a single night in protective services. Dick Grayson owed this man more thanks than any words or actions could warrant. This stranger had gone out on a limb for him and given him a home when everything else he had ever known or loved managed to crumble at his feet. The last thing the boy wanted to do was make this kind man feel guilty about anything.
Which was why he never once cried around the billionare or the old butler who served him. Instead he saved his tears for the quiet hours of the night, where only the darkness could lay witness to his shattered heart.
But tonight was different.
Staring at the calendar on the wall Dick had realized grimly that one month to the day had passed since his parents had left this world.
And it had finally sunk in that they were not coming back.
The world he knew was gone, replaced by a cold stone one that couldn't compare to the sights and sounds of the circus.
He had never felt so alone in his life.
Although his loneliness was second only to his frustration.
"Dick-" Bruce murmured watching the boy fight a losing battle with the tears welling in his eyes.
"If only I could have stopped him!" The child interrupted his voice a broken retch. "I saw him coming out of the tent," He explained to Bruce, "I knew he didn't belong there!"
"I know." Bruce said softly.
Something in that simple sentence had caused the billionaire's tone to change and now there was a darkness around the normally carefree socialite that hushed Dick into an awed silence.
"You keep thinking if, 'I only I had done something differently." The young executive murmured speaking the words the boy at his side was thinking, "If only I could have... warned them.'"
Stunned that his jumbled thoughts had been finished so easily for him Dick could only nod before the large man placed his hands on the boy's shoulders and pulled himself down so they were eye level.
"But there wasn't anything you could have done." Bruce Wayne stated, "There wasn't anything..." Pausing he glanced up at the picture of his parents that hung just above them before finishing, "Either of us could have done."
"You mean... your mom and dad too?" Dick stammered his eyes widening in realization that they were exactly the same.
Bruce only nodded staring up at the two people who existed now only in his memory.
"Does the hurt ever go away?" Was all the boy could asked.
"I wish I could say yes." Bruce said quietly. "But it will get better in time for... you, Dick."
Dick let out a sniffle as that simple sentence crippled whatever sliver of self control he had left. There was such kindness in those words even if it was all a lie. The tears leaked out of his eyes and he couldn't stop them. Running forward his small arms flung around Bruce's neck.
"That I promise." Batman said clutching the boy's head in his hand. Though he barely knew the child his heart ached with a new conviction that radiated through Bruce's bones. "It will get better for you." He vowed.
Though he wasn't always good at showing it, Dick Grayson meant everything to Batman. The boy was his one tie to being human. There was something in his life that gave him more meaning than justice, and the endless quest for protecting the innocent. But that caused tensions, even early on in their partnership. It was a thin line between being a overprotective father and a rigid boss. Their relationship had so many conflicting aspects to it, that the older Robin got the harder it was to distinguish the black and white lines.
And then everything had changed after that one night.
The night that the man Batman had spent nearly five years trying to find was finally uncovered.
Only Robin found him first.
-Gotham City-
(3 Years Ago)
... ... ...
"ROBIN, DON'T!"
That night Batman's stern voice had rung out like a street siren, momentarily halting the Boy Wonder as he stared down at his victim. Normally hearing Bruce cry out in worry and fear like that would have shocked Robin stupid, but he was too angry to listen now. He laid one last punch and stopped to get a good look at the thug underneath him. The man's nose was broken, several of his teeth scattered out on the cement. He'd need about twenty stitches on his face alone and Robin was just getting started. It was weird to feel such sick satisfaction in watching a man wriggle like a worm. This wasn't a super villain, this wasn't even a gang lord. No to the superhero community this man was small time. He was the kind of two bit hood that barely warranted a second glance before round housing him into the side of a building.
But you didn't have to be big time if your name was Tony Zucco. That alone was enough for Robin.
Zucco had disappeared from Gotham before Robin had ever even been created, and without a trace. But roaches always crawl back to their nests. Batman had managed to keep his return to Gotham from Robin for nearly three months, but even the greatest detective on earth couldn't keep it a secret forever.
"Zucco." Robin hissed, the very word sending rage up his spine. "You're not getting away this time." Trying to laugh through his swollen, black lips Zucco managed to get his head up off the pavement. "You've got nothing on me Bird-boy, do your worst. I'll be back on the streets in 24 hours."
"Shut up." Robin said dangerously as his bo-staff pressed harder and harder against the crook's throat, so close to cracking open the man's windpipe he could hear the muscles tighten like guitar strings ready to snap. "Who said anything about prison?" Leaning closer he breathed. "You and I have a score to settle." Eyes narrowing into slits he added, "Prison is the least of your worries."
You're not so tough anymore, are you? Robin thought, anger seeping through every inch of his soul. Staring at the man who murdered his parents, stole his dreams of a normal life, and ended his childhood that day Robin was almost disappointed. In his nightmares, this thing had been so much scarier.
Now look at you.
You're pathetic.
His thoughts were stripped from him when a pair of black, gloved hands lifted Robin up off the bloodied thug.
"Robin stop." Batman breathed his voice hushed. "It won't bring them back."
"Save me the self righteous lectures!" Robin snarled throwing Batman's hand off his shoulder. It was juvenile and he knew it only added flame to the convictions Batman had about him, but he couldn't stop the words from flying out,"You lied to me, you betrayed me. Zucco is mine! I've waited half my life for this!"
Batman took his friend's insults silently and waited for him to finish his stone cold demeanor never changing.
Taking deep, jagged breaths Robin stared at the cement. "Che. Don't give me that bullshit like you were protecting me, partner. I'm not a child. You just couldn't trust me, you're still treating me like I'm a liability."
"Can you trust yourself right now?" Batman asked gently. "Beating a unarmed man within a inch of life isn't justice, Robin. It's vengeance. If you give in to that, you're no better than he is."
Biting back whatever else he was going to say, Robin was stung by the truth in those words.
"Let the authorities take it from here." Batman pleaded softly. "You don't want to do this, Robin."
Backing away the boy clenched his fists.
He could stand it when Bruce was a cold, unfeeling monster. But not when he was like this.
Batman's voice was so full of sympathy, full of sorrow.
And Robin hated being pitied almost as much as he hated being wrong.
"... You had no right to keep this from me, Batman." Robin quivered.
Batman didn't answer, instead taking that moment to throw a well place batarang a inch away from the thug, who was trying to make a escape while the boy wonder raged. "Stay there Zucco." The Bat ordered. His voice was slow, concise making sure Zucco understood every syllable of his threat would be carried out into hard reality if disobeyed. "Or else I'll be very... VERY, grumpy." Eyes narrowing he added, "You wouldn't like me when I'm grumpy."
Shaking in fear the crook was too frightened to move even if he had wanted. That sentence had turned his feet to stone.
"After all these years you still don't trust me, do you?" Robin muttered putting his staff away.
"You don't understand, Robin." Batman said quietly. "Zucco...-"
Whatever more the Dark Knight had wanted to say was cut off by the blare of sirens. Blinding light shattered the darkness as twelve or more swat cars entered the scene.
"Get this man to the hospital, Detective." Robin said to Harvey Bullock as soon as the fat man stepped out of his car. "We're finished here."
And those were the last real words either the Dark Knight or the Boy Wonder had spoken to each other since.
-Titans Tower-
(Present Day)
Hanging his head, Robin's hand tightened on the bat shaped communicator. "I'm sorry," He said to the turned off device. Sitting down on the roof of Titan's Tower, the Boy Wonder stared up at the moon. He wished he could be strong enough to say that when it counted. Robin had been too proud to admit that he had been totally out of control the night he and Batman split ways. If he had been left to his own devices, he would have killed Tony Zucco. Batman didn't understand that he had left Gotham not because he was angry with the Dark Knight anymore, but because he needed to be stronger. That night had scared him bad. He didn't want to be a hypocrite or a murder. So he left his best friend and mentor, and everything that tied him to Bruce. He came to the realization that in order to become stronger he needed to get out of the Batman's shadow.
He had let Batman down utterly that time.
From now on he needed to be more than human. If he never had to stop, never had to show weakness he could be the most effiicent crimefighter. So that's what he became. As a Titan, he could fight along side people with remarkable powers and skills that Robin himself could never possess.
As long as he could detach himself from being human, the Teen Titans would have the edge and confidence to know that a mission would never be compromised as long as he led.
He had failed someone once. He would never do that again.
Weakness was not acceptable to him.
So he gave it up. He abandoned his life as Dick Grayson and with that his ties to Bruce Wayne. As long as he was human, he was weak and vulnerable to things like revenge and hatred. So Dick Grayson became the mask that he hid in his drawer.
Three years ago he had made a oath when he joined the Titans. That he would be more than a person, he would be a symbol.
From now on he would only be Robin, he would only be the mask.
That was the value of a hero. And sometimes it was a hard price to pay.
To be continued...