My Super Ex-Palm Tree
Summary: AU! 'E' Girl is the superhero of central...A living legend amongst the people of Armestris.
Ed Elric is a state alchemist. Envy, is a neurotic beauty. What happens when Ed meets Envy, and asks him out? Is there more to this wild haired man than Ed thought? What is his connection with 'E' girl? Based on the movie: "My Super Ex-Girlfriend"
Warnings: YAOI!
Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist...unfortunately...nor do I own Super Ex Girlfriend...I just like the movie
Pairings: (include) EdEnvy, EdRoy, EnvyGreed, RoyArmstrong…
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Chapter 1
"And the building is collapsing right before our eyes!" the frantic News reporter read, "The Bomb was set off without warning and now people are stuck inside unable to get out"
The people in the streets panicked.
"What are we going to do?"
"There's nothing we can do?"
"Oh my goodness! Those poor poor people!"
"We need a miracle"
"Oh my…LOOK" a woman pointed to something in the sky
"Is it a bird?"
"Is it a plane?"
"No its…"
"-'E' GIRL! HE'S COME TO SAVE THE DAY!" a man yelled happily as the figure in the sky swooped lower down. It was a scantily dressed androgynous male with long green hair pulled up in a high tight pony tail. A large 'E' plastered on his chest.
'E' Girl swooped down to the middle of the building where it was breaking and picked it up using only his strength, he began to fly with the whole building on his arms, he brought it across Central planting it safely down in Central's Central park.
The whole of Central cheered.
SNAP
Somebody took a picture
--
Edward Elric and Jean Havoc were standing on the train going to work. They were looking at the picture of the famous 'E' Girl in the Central times
"Now she's hot" Jean grinned pointing at the picture
"He's hot" corrected Ed smirking
"But her name's E GIRL" Jean frowned
"That's a man" Ed frowned back
"Wonder why she's called 'E'girl….Now she's hot!" Havoc said
"What? You just said that Jean…and its-"
"No! Not 'E' Girl you div! …her!" Jean pointed along the train to a quiet passenger sitting on the train reading a book titled 'The art of romance.' He was slender and pale, dressed in a smart yet casual outfit, of dark trousers and tight black top. His hair was a dark green, and extremely long and spiky...rather like a palm tree actually. Although he was a man, he was very feminine looking
"Yeah, Jean that is also a guy"
"You sure? Maybe you're right…but you know me, either way is good" Ed rolled his eyes smilingly. They guy on the train was very attractive…in a pretty kind of way. "Hey Ed" Jean continued "Why don't you have this one"
"W-what? No its fine"
"Ed…come on, its been like centuries since your last relationship. You need to get laid"
"Jean!" Ed blushed
"Go on…ask her…I mean him out"
Ed sighed
"Fine" he walked forward nervously to the guy reading the book. He stood in front of him for a second, unsure how to alert the young man of his presence. The green haired youth smirked slightly, placed a finger on a line in his book and looked up at Ed. Purple eyes meeting gold ones. "Wow you have the coolest eyes!" Ed said suddenly.
The guy looked curiously at Ed and back down at his book
"Uh I mean…you look like an interesting person…and I was wondering if you might like to go with me to get a -"
"No" the guy said sharply looking straight at Ed and then back to his book again
Ed looked hopelessly at Jean again who nodded encouragingly to his friend.
"Or if you don't like coffee…we could get something else…before I make a complete fool of myself"
The guy opened his mouth to say something when SUDDENLY a man whipped past him grabbing his bag and running of the subway. The poor victim shrieked. Ed immediately made a grab for the thief to pull him back …but he was out of reach. Edward jumped off the train and ran after the thief dodging the crowds of people. The Man ran up on to the street and ran across the road. Ed weaved in and out of cars and cabs determined to save the poor palm tree guy's bag. Ed suddenly jumped and tackled the thief. He grabbed the bag safely, but the thief managed to escape, without the bag.
Ed laughed
"HA! THAT'S RIGHT! RUN YOU ARSE HOLE! NOT SO TOUGH NOW ARE YOU!"
The thief, who was now some way up the street turned and looked at Ed with beady angry eyes.
"What did you call me you little pipsqueak"
"WHOYOUCALLINSOSHORTHEGETSLOSTINTHECARPET!"
The thief blinked and continued
"DID YOU CALL ME AN ARSE HOLE?"
"What…uh oh" Ed ran as the thief ran toward him with his fist outstretched.
Ed ran up the street and down an alleyway. It was a dead end, the only option was to jump in the dumpster.
Ed cringed and put his safety first.
The thief looked down the alleyway that the pipsqueak had ran down. Dead end…dumpster?
"Idiot" the thief smirked, he picked up a long piece of discarded wood on the side of the alley. He walked towards the dumpster and bashed the wood against the metal trash can.
"I know you're in there you idiot. You think you can hide from me?"
Ed shuddered
The thief laughed…he could nearly here the pipsqueak shivering with fear. He was about to bash the dumpster again when suddenly he felt a mighty force lift him up into the air…
Ed saw the dumpster lid open
"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" Ed shrieked shielding his face from the thiefs punches. However, his shield was not needed. It was not the thief…but the nice palm tree guy from the train. He smiled down at Ed
"Hey there"
"Hi…I've got your bag" Ed said passing the bag to the guy.
"Are you going to stay in the dumpster all day?"
"What? Oh no!" Ed said sitting up and crawling out
"Way to go for getting the thief, hey where did he-"
"Uh" the guy interrupted "I didn't catch your name"
"Oh…I'm Ed" Ed said putting his hand forward for they guy to shake
"I'm Envy" the guy smiled "and…uh I was wondering if you'd like to get a coffee…in thanks for saving my bag…..or perhaps something more substantial….like dinner"
"Wow…Really?" Ed said excitedly
"Yeah" Envy smiled
"Uh Sure, definitely….Envy"
"Brilliant…well here's my phone number…give me a call" Envy handed him a business card. Ed grinned, took it and reached into his own pocket to get his own.
"Here's mine" Ed smiled walking with Envy back to the subway, to shocked at having gotten a date with Envy to remember what happened with the thief…who…funnily enough was handing by his coat from a hook…ten feet above the dumpster!