Through My Eyes
It's at moments like this, when you're holding me so close that it feels like we've become one being, that I most often find myself wishing I could make the world see you through my eyes. There are so many things I love about you that you don't let anyone else see, so many hidden wonders that have gripped my heart and held on tight.
I love the shy, gentle way you touch me, the blush of embarrassment that still colors your cheeks during intimate moments. I love the mischievous little smirk you wear when you're up to something, and the way your eyes sparkle just a bit brighter when you're looking at me.
You have the quirkiest sense of humor… Sometimes I can't tell if you're trying to be funny or not, but the way the very corners of your mouth twitch give you away. It still surprises me, though, to hear you crack a joke, and you always make me giggle. You're even starting to laugh yourself. You have an adorable laugh, though I'd never tell you that. It would just make you self conscious, and I don't want you to stop.
You'll sit quietly for hours, patiently watching as I garden and pot flowers, fascinated by everything I do. You don't like to get your hands dirty, though, never joining in. You seem to go through so much of life that way, as an outsider, observing and thinking. Your eyes take in every detail, and I love the subtle tilt of your head when you're really concentrating. Your hands, so often thought of for those they have killed, are actually quite graceful and soft. I've never known you to do anything hurtful with those hands… Quite the opposite, in fact. You still cover them up far too often. I wish you realized that no one would even pay attention to that little tattoo, least of all me.
A stray dog started following you home one day, and you pretended not to care. But I kept catching you looking out the window, and soon you were sneaking him food. Now that dog lives in our house, and sometimes sleeps in our bed. He is your first pet, and it's as if you are reliving a childhood you never had when you play with him. In quiet moments, you speak to him, sharing openly of yourself because you know he'd never judge you.
You always look so peaceful, so angelic, when you sleep. Your face looks years younger, the pain and tension gone. But the nightmares still haunt you, far too often. When you wake, terrified and shaken, you always turn to me for comfort, holding me just a bit closer. Even a powerful man like you has his fears, his weaknesses… It reminds me that regardless of your abilities, you are still all too human.
There is so much more to you than just an ex-SOLDIER, or a repentant killer. You are more than your past, so much more than your sins. You are amazing to me, how far you have come, how much you have conquered. Even if I can never make another soul on the Planet understand why I love you, I hope that someday you can start to see yourself the way you look through my eyes.