"Beautiful Sorrow"

He wiped the tears from his eyes before taking his fingers and gently tracing at the long deep scares across her bare chest. He then gently bent over and kissed each one before he cupped her face and gently kissed her lips while whispering " I love you, and no matter what you're still beautiful to me."

I can't say how I felt numb, afraid, scared to death. I believe all of these emotions are possible especially for one like me. I had never felt more out of place in a world where I had always found my place than I did now, if it hadn't been for Matt or my best friend Tai. I think I would have ended up dead, I know I would have. Because alone I could hardly even walk, bathe or consider anything else without them. They were my vessels for life.

"One Year Prior"

Chapter 1

Sora's P.O.V

"Sora?" I jumped as I heard my name called and quickly threw the papers I was looking at under my pillow and turned to greet him.

"You're home early Matt"

"Yeah, we got done early so they let me leave. What's that?" Matt was leaning against our bedroom door frame and pointing to the papers peeking out of the corner of my pillow.

"Oh, nothing. I'm still trying to sort through things here and get them in order. I didn't expect it to take this long to get the place in order."

I seen him frown and then walk towards me. Pulling me into a hug, He kissed the top of my head. "Sor, we've been here a week. You can't think you would have everything in complete order yet and besides tonight's special. I don't want you working." He pulled me out from our hug and looked at me with his eyes sparkling and spoke again. "Here, take this and head out to the mall and get a new dress and things for tonight and I'll meet you at the restaurant by say 6:30, that ok?"

"Yeah." I grabbed the money from his hand and slumped back down onto the bed. "Alright just give me a minute to change; I don't want to go looking like this." I pointed to my sweats and un-brushed hair. He seemed to buy it; he walked back out of the room. I quickly grabbed the papers and tossed them into my purse with the money he had given me. I ran the brush through my hair and quickly changed into some shorts and a tee.

I'm sure it was 3 hours later and I was still sitting in my car in front of the mall. I had re-read those papers until I had them memorized. I had analyzed them and put them into every perspective, there was no changing what they said. It just involved changing me. I quickly looked into the mirror, my eyes where swollen and I looked like hell. Happy Anniversary to me. Matt and I had now officially been married for 2 years and had just moved into a bigger and nicer apartment. I had no choice but to hope I could pull off looking happy and pretty for this evening. He had been planning it for months now and here I was about to ruin it. I got out and forced my legs to carry me through the mall. What I wouldn't give to have Mimi here with me, but she had to move off to America and drag Izzy with her. She could pull this miracle off.

Took me an hour but I found a simple midnight blue strapless dress that was snug to the hips and then flowed out to the knees. I also bought a pair of strappy silver heels. I paid for the items and realized I only had 10 minutes to get to the beauty salon for my appointment.

Running I made it right on time. Smiling, the girl called me in back and began my transformation. I wanted a simple up do and natural looking makeup. It took 3 girls but they managed, Hair nails and make up, they also let me change in the back, Nikki, Chi and Liz. My Mimi doubles that always took my appointments when I made them. Bless their hearts; they understood just what a tomboy I was. "Sora that ring is still just gorgeous girl. You better keep that man of yours close." Forcing a smile I replied. "Thank you, and trust me I do." Blushing I paid and left a nice tip, glancing down at my 3 carrot princess cut diamond that took up my hand and rushed out the door.

I was tapping my manicured nails on the steering wheel, nearly ready to chew them off as I waited outside the restaurant. Matt had told me not to go inside until he came to get me. Glancing around I spotted him walking towards me in his black suit and famous smile. My heart sank. All that happiness was about to be drained from him. My heart started to race as he opened my door and put his hand out. I smiled and took it. He had no idea just how much I was going to be needing him.

We walked inside and my ears where greeted by live classical musical. Our table had at least 3 dozen roses with lilies, my favorite. Matt pulled my chair our and helped me sit. Sitting across from me he took my hand and kissed it. "I love you, happy anniversary." Yup, there went every bit of courage I had mustered. I felt that lump form in my throat and my eyes swell up. "Oh Matt, this is beautiful. I love you too. Thank you." He was always the perfect gentile men.

He smiled and spoke so sweetly back. "Thank you for being so patient, and everything I've needed to get me where I 'am today and where we are today." What he spoke was of course nothing but the truth; it had been a real challenge. Countless all-nighters, first name bases at the local coffee shop but we pulled it off and he graduated from university with honors and was now a CEO at the local law firm office. I of course graduated early from art school and took up a side of coaching high-school soccer with Tai. Regardless of all of this, I needed to tell him the truth; I couldn't hide it any longer. I was already losing my baring.

"Yamato I , I need to tell you something."

His face instantly changed. He knew I never called him that unless it was important. "What's wrong?"

" well, the truth is I'm sick."

"Do we need to go home?" He instantly went to stand but I put my hands up to stop him. "No, it's not that simple I just can't go home and rest. "

"Then what is it? Please just tell me Sor"

I felt my eyes betray me and the single tears roll down my checks as I spoke. "I have breast cancer and they think the cells are growing rapidly."

He sat there, not moving or seeming like he was breathing for that matter. Then his eyes found mine and for once they were the same, reflecting with fear and uncertainty. "How long have you known?"

"They have been running different tests now for over a month, but everything has come back positive and I've known the truth since this morning. That's what those papers where and I received a phone call from the office.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner Sora?" I seen betrayal form in his eyes but he held it back.

"I didn't know how too, they told me it was nothing to be concerned with, that cysts happen all the time and it would probably be ok. But they were wrong."

I expected him to get upset, to be mad, but that wasn't the case, Not at all. He stood up and grabbed me into his arms. I wrapped mine back around in return "Sora, No matter what, I'm going to help you through this. I love you." I heard him choke up and whisper. "God."

Matt's P.O.V

first I was hurt that she didn't tell me right away , but I quickly realized it wasn't about how I felt, in fact it didn't matter at all. She needed me and I was going to make sure she got everything she needed. I remember just holding her in my arms for what felt like forever. I didn't want to let go. She was my best friend, my wife and the person I loved above all. I didn't want to lose her.