"If You're Reading This"
AN: Okay, this is an AU one-shot. Danny and Evelyn never got together and Abigail is a friend of Rafe and Danny's from childhood. If it doesn't make sense, I'll probably take it down. Please review and let me know what you think! Song is by Tim McGraw "If You're Reading This"
Abigail stared at the letter she had received from Rafe. He dropped it off the previous week, but she hadn't been able to open it, it was too painful. The handwriting on the front made her name look beautiful. She slid her finger under the flap and ripped the seal. Pulling out the paper she felt the tears welling in her eyes. It was from Danny; the love of her life, the father of her child. He had been reassigned after the attack on Pearl Harbor to Colonel Doolittle and had gone off to bomb Tokyo. He didn't make it back.
She unfolded the paper and looked lovingly at the handwriting on the page. Abigail had been told the week before Danny had been killed when trying to land his plane in China. He saved his best friend's life. Rafe had come by to tell her; apparently Danny made him promise he'd be the one. It didn't make hearing the news any easier, but it was nice to see a friendly face and know that someone else was as torn up about it as she was.
"If you're reading this
And my mama's sitting there
Looks like I only got a one-way ticket over here
I sure wish I could give you one more kiss
And war was just a game we played when we were kids
Well I'm laying down my gun
I'm hanging up my boots
I'm up here with God
And we're both watching over you"
Dear Abby,
Hi love. If Rafe gave you this letter and you're reading it, then I guess I'm not coming home. I'm sorry Abby. I've tried my hardest to. I don't want to leave you alone, not now, especially not now. I just want to hold you once last time, to smell the sweet smell of your hair, to kiss your soft lips, to wake up next to you every morning.
I was thinking last night, while trying to fall asleep. I miss when we were little. Rafe and I would pretend to be pilots from the Great War and we'd rescue you from the 'dirty Germans.' Everything was simpler. The only problems were in our imagination; well, except for when Daddy came home drunk…
"So lay me down
In that open field out on the edge of town
And know my soul
Is where my momma always prayed that it would go
And if you're reading this
I'm already home"
Rafe will take care of you. I made him promise as we were leaving. He's going to make sure you're alright and have everything you need. He'll probably try to make you move back to Tennessee too, which would be a good thing for you I think. You need to get out of Pearl and back to where your family is.
"If you're reading this
Half way around the world
I won't be there to see the birth of our little girl
I hope she looks like you
I hope she fights like me
Stands up for the innocent and the weak
I'm laying down my gun
I'm hanging up my boots
Tell dad I don't regret that I followed in his shoes"
You're still in Pearl, trying to nurse the soldiers back to health. And I'm here, on my way to Japan to stick a pinprick in their heart. You're so far away, but as I look down at this picture, I can almost imagine you're right here with me, that you're just about to come over and take a seat on my lap and laugh at me.
I'm sorry that I won't be there to see our baby grow up. I didn't want to leave the two of you alone. I wanted to come home: to be there when she's born, to see her first steps and hear her first words. Tell her about me. Make sure she knows I wasn't trying to be a hero; I was just doing what needed to be done.
"If you're reading this
There's gonna come a day
When you move on and find someone else
And that's okay
Just remember this
I'm in a better place
Where soldiers live in peace
And angels sing Amazing Grace"
You're probably going to be shaking your head at this. Please don't stay alone forever. If you find someone who loves you, don't be afraid to love him back. I don't want you to be lonely and I want our baby girl to have a father. You're a fantastic woman and you deserve to be happy, you won't be happy alone. I love you so much. You're the only woman I've ever felt this way about. You make a bad day seem bearable and give me a reason to get up in the morning.
"So lay me down
In that open field out on the edge of town
And know my soul
Is where my momma always prayed that it would go
And if you're reading this
If you're reading this
I'm already home"
I love you Abigail. I think I have for a long time, I just couldn't admit it at first. You have been an amazing part of my life and I'm so thankful God lent you to me. You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Please let someone other than Rafe write my name on the tombstone, you know he can't spell worth nothin'. Try not to bury me in a lonely cemetery where no one comes to visit. If you have a choice, I like Rafe's field. I think he knows that already.
I'm up in Heaven Abby, and I'm looking down on you. I love you Abigail Walker. Take care.
Yours forever,
Danny
Abigail finished the letter with tears streaming down her cheeks. Leave it to Danny to write a letter like this. He didn't know he was going to die, but he must have thought about it. Why else would he write this? Why else would he be prepared for the worst? The letter didn't comfort her at all, just helped her cope.
She placed her hand on her stomach and felt the baby kick. "It'll be okay baby girl. We'll be okay. Your daddy is watching us."