AN: Hi everyone. Trying something new from my normal Sess/Kag stories. As always, I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this story. Just a random idea that hit me after listening to one song on repeat for like three days.
It was midday in the Village Hidden in the Leaves and the members of team seven could be found relaxing in each other's company at training ground three after a rather vigorous sparring session. Kakashi sat high in the branches of a large tree with his ever present orange book in his hand, Yamato found purchase on the other side of the trunk resting on a branch as high as Kakashi's. On the ground surrounding the tree, Sasuke reclined against the trunk with his eyes closed, one hand behind his head, and the other rubbing soothing circles on the pinkette's thigh. Beside him sat Naruto in much the same position as himself, with his hand running through Sakura's pink shoulder length locks as her head rested in his lap. In the middle of the field, quietly sat Sai as he sketched the peaceful scene.
"Dickless, stop moving," Sai called out in a monotone voice, halting his rapidly moving pencil as Naruto began fidgeting and removed his hand from Sakura's hair to lightly scratch his nose.
"Who you calling 'Dickless', you emotionally constipated artist?" immediately Naruto jumped on the defensive as he began to move Sakura's head from his lap and made to move towards the ex root member who sat with a meaningless smile on his face.
"Sit down dobe, you know he only does that to rile you up. Why do you continue to fall for it every time?" commented Sasuke as he pulled Sakura up to rest fully in his lap with her head on his chest. Naruto began seething even more. Partially due to Sai's constant comment about the size of his penis and Sasuke and Sakura's closeness. He was starting to feel like everyone was ganging up on him. Naruto looked from Sai to Sasuke then back to Sai.
"Shut up teme!" he yelled towards Sasuke, "And I'll show you 'dickless!'" he turned back towards Sai and began fumbling with his pants with the intent to flash all in the field.
"Naruto, while I'm sure some would enjoy your little 'show,'" Kakashi spoke from his spot in the tree with a pointed look down towards Sakura and Sasuke and noticed as Sakura buried her face deeper into Sasuke's chest as a light rose color painted Sasuke's normally pale face, "The rest of us would prefer that we do not witness such." He finished his statement with his famous eye crinkle as proof that he was joking.
While it was no longer a secret that Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were in a polyamorous relationship with each other, they were still a bit shy about it. They were actually very surprised by everyone's calm reactions to the news. Yamato described their relationship as being inevitable after all that the young teens had been through together, Sai—having as much knowledge of romantic relationships as he did casual ones—assumed it was just something that the members of team seven found normal. Then there was Kakashi, in all his perverted glory, he deemed it necessary to sit down with the three of them and go over the importance of lube and foreplay and even gave them examples of threesomes from multiple issues of his perverted books. Resulting in Sakura blushing so much that her face matched her hair, Naruto suffering from an extreme nose bleed, and Sasuke walking away with stiff and uncomfortable strides.
"I'm obviously correct if neither one of his lovers are willing to vouch for him having anything. "
"Sai, please stop teasing him," Sakura replied with a blush, "You're not the one who has to go home with him." Before she could continue Sasuke leaned in to whisper into her ear causing her blush to deepen. "On second thought make all the jokes you want. Sasuke will calm him down later." At that, Naruto stopped all attempts to take off his pants, blushed, and settled on taking off his shirt instead. With all the energy he expelled yelling at Sai, he had worked up a small sweat and needed to cool off again. After removing his orange jacket and tossing it over his shoulder he made his way back to his two lovers and sat down beside them, first kissing Sakura on the cheek then resting his head on Sasuke's shoulder.
"That's an interesting choice of clothing, Naruto," Yamato finally spoke from his spot in the tree. Not really knowing what Yamato meant, everyone turned towards Naruto to see exactly what was so 'interesting', including Naruto himself—who was so tired, he didn't pay any attention to what he actually put on this morning. Eventually, everyone's attention was on Naruto's shirt.
"Well, you three, I see that my lessons have indeed come in handy to you, "Kakashi commented with amusement lacing his voice and an eye crinkle.
"No one was supposed to ever see that shirt," Sasuke mumbled under his breath, turning away from Naruto in an attempt to hide his reddening face.
"Idiot," Sakura said, flicking Naruto on the nose.
"I guess, you're not dickless after all," Sai commented returning to his sketching to make a few changes on the image.
Finally Naruto looked down at his chest, "it was a prank gift, it's not what it looks like," he pleaded, putting his orange jacket back on and blushing bright red. But the damage had already been done. Everyone had seen the shirt and it was burned into their memory.
After the peaceful air had returned to the group, Sai rose from his spot and gently ripped the page he had been working on out of his notebook and made his way over to the teens under the tree. "It's finished. Would you like this one, Sakura?" he asked holding the paper out to her.
She nodded and took the picture and looked over it, only to quickly thrust the image towards Naruto as she tried to suppress her laughter. Naruto took a quick glance at the picture and began shouting and threatening Sai until the artist had started to walk away with an angry blond following close on his heels.
To say the picture was something no one expected would be an understatement. It was beautiful with excellent detail of everyone's faces. Yamato and Kakashi sat high in their tree with peaceful and relaxing looks upon their faces. Beneath them was Sakura wrapped in Sasuke's arms. Sai was even able to capture the small smile on the Uchiha's face as his hands rested in her hair. But the main focus of the picture was a very angry Naruto standing in the middle of the field with his jacket in his hand with a deadly expression on his face. More surprising than the face coming from the image was the shirt he was wearing. It was black with bold white letters that read "Weapon of Ass Destruction".
AN: So I was watching an AMV, and there was an image of someone wearing such a shirt and I couldn't help myself.