Shikamaru sighed as he strolled down the street. A bad mood had plagued him for a few days now; it was almost a foreboding feeling. He had been to the Hokage's office that morning and it had not helped his mood one bit.
People passed him on either direction. So far his morning was not going well at all.
He had overslept, which he never did; he tripped over the shogi board in his room and, in the process, he lost a few of the pieces; and on the way to the Hokage's office he ran into Ino who pestered him about not talking to her in the past week.
Girls. Tch.
The minute he had entered the building he knew it would this would be bad news and he was right. The Chûnin Exams were approaching again and he had reluctantly agreed to be the guide for Suna's ambassador. Temari would once again be the one to be handling the dealings with the Exam and he only had three days to prepare himself. Shikamaru had to think of what he was going to say. Last time he saw her, they left on an awkward note. Awkward, meaning…well, he didn't exactly want to think about it. If he was lucky maybe he wouldn't have to talk to her that much and maybe she wouldn't harm him.
Maybe.
"Ah! Shikamaru! What's got you so down?" a voice called. It came from one of the shops he was walking by. It had been Naruto coming out of Ichiraku, his favorite ramen place. Shikamaru had eaten there with Naruto a few times and he had to admit, the ramen was good and the old man was kind.
"Ah, it's nothing. I was just thinking…" trailed Shikamaru. Naruto finished up and threw some money on the counter.
"Thanks, old man!" Naruto called as old man Teuchi waved to Naruto as he left. Naruto caught up to Shikamaru's side as they continued to walk down the street. "What's up?"
"Tsunade-sama just told me the Chûnin Exams were coming up and I'm the escort for the ambassador from Suna again." Shikamaru told him in a depressed voice.
"Aren't you always?" Naruto asked. "And Temari is the liaison between Konoha and Suna that comes and you trail her around all the time—" He stopped dead in the street and people had to avoid him so they didn't fall over him. Naruto had a smug, all knowing look on his face. Why didn't Shikamaru just avoid this street to begin with? He knew the loudmouth blonde shinobi would be at the ramen place! How troublesome!
"What?" Shikamaru asked irritably.
"Temari-san is the problem." It wasn't a question. It was a statement.
"No, of course she isn't." Shikamaru told him. Naruto wasn't sure if he was trying to lie or if it was sarcasm.
"It's because of last time."
"It's not her, I just think the exam is troublesome."
"Last time she was here…oh, man! You're face was red for weeks! You had a permanent blush stuck to your face! I don't think I have seen Hinata's face go that red!" Naruto laughed so hard he was almost crying.
"Look, would you shut the hell up?" Shikamaru threatened. This day was just getting better and better…
It had been seven months, two weeks, and three days exactly and he was still embarrassed to that day. He had arrived at the apartment early as he always did. Same time…same routine. Temari usually knew he was outside waiting and was usually outside within ten minutes and when she was not, he shouted up to her. Of course not too loudly, people were still sleeping at that hour. The last day before she left Shikamaru had called up to her and there was no answer. As it was getting late he went up to her apartment and knocked. Nothing. Starting to worry if something was wrong, he tried to knock once more before precariously entering the apartment. He was worried something had happened in her sleep. She was perfectly healthy the day before! And there was no way she could have been attacked in the village. Poison? Did someone have something against the liaison between the two villages? Why? Surely she could be pain in the ass, but not so much as to poison her!
Shikamaru found Temari perfectly unharmed but for the most part undressed. Quickly Shikamaru shut the door, his face completely flushed. He ran as fast as he could out of the apartment in full-fledged embarrassment. Shikamaru ran onto the street and as far away as he could get where he ran into Naruto, who was not the first person he wanted to see. Naruto questioned him as to why he had running for his life and the story spilled out in a nervous, scared, shaky fit. As soon as it was out of his mouth he tried desperately to clear his name of any dirty things Naruto thought he had been trying to pull.
Temari had actually slept longer than she had intended to. When she realized what time it was she hurriedly tried get dressed to go down and meet her escort. In her panic and frenzy of trying to get ready she didn't hear Shikamaru calling up to her or knocking. When Shikamaru burst in unannounced it broke her from her spell of urgency and rushing around and she froze, mostly naked except for her underclothes.
That day Shikamaru stayed away from anywhere Temari might be and she left to return to the Sand Village without a goodbye. When the Chûnin Exams started he stayed far, far away from festivities. Shikamaru knew the Kazekage would be there along with his sister. That would not be a good conversation to have with the Kage of the Sand Village. Hey, Gaara you've met Shikamaru, yeah? You know…the last time I saw you, you were in my apartment and I was mostly naked! And then a vision of his body being crushed in Gaara's sand appeared in his mind. Maybe being stabbed to death by Kankuro's puppet's first? Yeah…that'd be an excellent conversation…
So, he resigned from his job of proctor for the exams with the excuse of being 'ill'. Of course the Hokage knew he wasn't 'ill' so trying to explain the embarrassing situation to that witch of a woman was a nightmare. Tsunade was reluctant to excuse him for something as frivolous as that, but in the end she let him off seeing as he was one of her most trusted Chûnin. Then, Temari had obviously tried to find him at the exams. She asked all his friends and comrades whom either didn't know or he had told them not to say anything. Eventually, she came to the house. He hid in the dining room while he told his mother to open the door and stall because 'he wasn't home'. So when she opened the door, his mother had no idea what to expect. Why was she stalling? Was her son in trouble with the law? However when she opened the door she found the Suna kunoichi.
"Hello, Mrs. Nara, is Shikamaru around?"
"Oh, no I'm afraid he's not. But who are you? You look like such a lovely young woman!"
"Oh, has Shikamaru never spoken of me? I'm Temari of the Sand Village."
"Right, that wonderful young woman he's always escorting around."
"Well, it's his job when I'm here for the exams…"
"I always knew my little Shikamaru would find someone that's perfect for him!" Shikamaru's mother was now in her own fantasy world where Shikamaru was married off to the woman that stood in front of her.
"Er, well, it was nice talking to you…" Temari was feeling uncomfortable as she left.
"Thank you, Mom." Shikamaru growled from the dining room as his mother shut the door. That went wonderful. Now his mother thought that he and Temari were dating.
Great.
With that plan failed Temari turned to the Hokage. Shizune led her into the office.
"Temari-san, is there something wrong?" Tsunade asked as she came in.
"I haven't seen Shikamaru in the two weeks I've been in Konoha. He hasn't just disappeared since the last time I've been here and I know he's supposed to be helping with the exams." Temari said, exasperatedly. Tsunade leaned back in her chair looking amused, but she tried to hide it.
"I'm sorry, there was a sudden change in plans. Shikamaru was meant to be a proctor in these exams but there was an S-ranked mission he was needed on. I'm not sure when he'll be returning," Temari opened her mouth to ask more questions, "Nor am I allowed to tell you anything else hence the S-rank on the mission."
"Well," Temari headed towards the door. "With all these high ranked missions I hope he's promoted to Jônin soon." She slammed the door on the way out. As soon as she was gone Tsunade had Shikamaru summoned.
"I just covered your pathetic ass with the story you are on an S-ranked mission. You're safe for now, but she expects you to be getting to Jônin level soon 'with all these high-ranked missions.'" Tsunade warned him.
"What did you do that for!?" Shikamaru shouted.
"I came up with a decent excuse for you, be happy! I shouldn't be doing this at all! Did you want me to tell her the truth?" Tsunade shouted.
"No, but now I'm expected to reach Jônin and my mom expects me to marry that hard-ass woman!" Shikamaru grumbled as he stormed out of the office without an explanation. Shizune just stared after the insane Chûnin. Tsuande appeared even more amused than before.
So over the past seven months and two weeks and three days the last contact Shikamaru had ever had with Temari was the unfortunate stumbling upon that one morning.
Naruto continued to chuckle to himself.
"It isn't funny." Shikamaru growled.
"Look, I bet she doesn't even remember." Naruto told him. "That was like a billion years a go."
"Seven months, two weeks, three days." Shikamaru breathed to himself.
"Sorry?" Naruto asked.
"Nothing, it's just that I think she'll remember that the last time she saw me was in her bedroom and she was half naked!" Shikamaru yelled at him. People were looking at him a little strangely, probably wanting him to keep his personal things private and not yelling things like that to the village. This was unlike him, he was usually a laid back guy who didn't like attention. What a drag.
Naruto was in fits of laughter and giggles.
"I don't care about how much it amuses you, but I need to concern myself with what I'm going to say to her." Shikamaru groaned.
"Look, were both friends and from one guy to another, I'll help you out." Naruto told him, looking much more serious.
"You really want to help me?" Shikamaru asked. The idea rather scared Shikamaru rather than relieve him.
Getting girl advice from Naruto was like asking Choji for diet advice.
"Eh, sometimes I can be a nice guy, right?" Naruto laughed. "But if you just need to figure out what to say to her…" Naruto started to think. "Just pretend I'm Temari!" Naruto told him. Shikamaru furrowed his brows with a doubtful look.
"Hello, Shikamaru! Long time, no see." Naruto said in a ridiculously high-pitched falsetto voice and batted his eyes at his friend. Which probably earned them even more odd looks from the people passing them.
"This is just plain ridiculous. I can't do that. It's just stupid." He rolled his eyes.
"You need a better visual?" Naruto asked with a devilish look in his eye.
"Tch. It's not gonna work, I'll figure it out on my—"
It was too late; Naruto had transformed using a version of his ninja centerfold technique and changed into Temari. The transformed mostly naked Suna kunoichi did little to help him forget about the morning incident that occurred seven months, two weeks and three days ago.
"Naruto you idiot, quit it now before I clobber you right now!" Shikamaru hissed staring at his left foot trying not to stare at his comrade. Of course, Shikamaru would have never really clobbered the form of Temari, it would be too hard to hit the blonde-haired ninja without fear that he'd be in trouble from her later for it (not that she would ever have found out about it).
"Shikamaru…what's wrong…?" Temari…er, Naruto whined. Now, they were probably attracting a crowd thinking they were street performers by now with what a show they were creating. Shikamaru tried hard not to look at the transformed Naruto by looking down, concentrating on a stray thread on his jacket.
"NARUTO!" another voice other than his own shouted. Sakura appeared. Although she had her hands full of groceries, she was still able to take down Naruto.
"Why the hell are you teasing Shikamaru?!" she shouted. Naruto covered his head, half for pain, half for fear. "Get along! Hinata's been looking for you!"
"Yes, ma'am!" Naruto scrambled to his feet and took off down the nearest alley. Shikamaru nodded towards her, thankful for the rescue and feeling relieved from the pressure of trying not to look.
"I suppose this is all Naruto's idea of funny, since you're the escort for the Suna ambassador for the Exams?" Sakura asked.
"Something like that." Shikamaru groaned.
"Well, just a heads up, Temari-san arrived an hour or so ago. She should be around." Sakura informed him, with a sweet smile.
"Wh-What?!" Shikamaru felt his heart skip a beat.
"Yes, she arrived a day or two early before she had to start taking care of Exam stuff. I was doing some errands for Lady Tsunade and was in the office when she arrived and one of the gate watches escorted her to the office. She explained she arrived early for personal business." Sakura grinned. Shikamaru gulped. What personal business? In Konoha?
The only 'personal business' she'd have is with him. His heart rate rose so high he was afraid his heart was going to explode and he was going to die. There was no way he was ready to face her. Shikamaru still needed time. Time to collect actual advice from his dad or Choji. Time to collect his thoughts. Time to write his last will and testament. He definitely wanted his shogi board to go to Choji…though he'd be missing a few pieces. He'd give Ino his earrings to remember him by…no scratch that. Ino didn't need anything. Choji can get everything. Well, his parents should technically get everything…but…
Dammit! I can't be thinking that now!
He hurried down the street in a rush. He didn't know if he was escaping from her or searching desperately for her to drop down on his knees and kiss her feet, begging for forgiveness before she had time to kill him. As he decided he was fleeing for his life, he was just about to come to the street to turn to reach his house. One hundred meters…seventy-five meters…fifty…forty…so close…
He felt a hand close around his wrist. How could he be so close and not reach his house? Who dare stop him from reaching his escape?
"Hey, Mr. Escort. You're supposed to be my guide, not fleeing the scene." A familiar voice reached his ears.
xOx
A/N: Oh, my! Cliffhanger!
Well, this is my new story. It's my first Naruto fanfic here, and I've really been debating putting this up for a while now. I was really going to put this up on Temari's birthday (Aug. 23rd) as a happy birthday present to her, but then I realized I still had to draw my present for my brother who's birthday was the day after so that didn't happen. So happy belated birthday Temari!!
I've been really tentative about publishing anything Naruto since I haven't been caught up with Naruto and I was worried that my fanfiction wouldn't be current with the manga and everyone would be like OMG that character died TEN CHAPTERS AGO and I'd be like NOO! I really have like ten Naruto fanfictions I sporadically write here and there and I'm considering putting those up too...but no manga spoilers here! I should put that. I actually started this almost a year ago after catching up with the anime and then letting my mind wander about Shikamaru and Temari and the Chûnin exams.
Oh, I wanted to answer questions so everyone won't be confused and then I'll shut up! I swear!! Uh, this is like an Exam in the future when they're older. Yet Shikamaru still lives with his parents...it makes the story better! So they aren't too old. Okay? Uhh, I thought there was something else...well when someone asks about it I'll remember! PM or review! It's all good!
So anyway, for anyone who's reading my other fanfics, I'm still updating those...this is just a side project. I have most of this story written up, so I don't have to worry about getting this out because I don't have it written up or whatever.
Okay, I know I have a really bad habit of rambling! I'll stop! Really! Just go review!!